Ravenous: The Practice of Food

By , SparkPeople Blogger
Editor's Note: A few weeks ago, I read an article in Yoga Journal written by Dayna Macy. The recipes, fresh and healthy, with an attention to perfect portions and knowing when to say "enough," appealed to me. But what stood out more was the footnote that Macy had written a memoir about her liberation from a lifelong battle with food addiction. "Ravenous," I typed into the reading list I keep in my BlackBerry. A few days later I was on the phone with our editor at Hay House, going over some deadlines for the cookbook. I mentioned to her that I was looking for some new titles to feature on the blog. The first word out of her mouth: "Ravenous"! By week's end, I had connected with Dayna, fallen in love with the first few pages of her memoir (I finished it in one sitting over the weekend), and asked her if we could feature an excerpt on the dailySpark. Dayna, who's a huge fan of SparkPeople, eagerly agreed. Chapter 14, The Practice of Food, is among my favorite chapters in Ravenous: A Food Lover’s Journey from Obsession to Freedom. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

By Dayna Macy

"Am I fat?"

I've never actually asked this question to another human being -- until now.

I'm sitting in the office of Dr. Linda Bacon, a nutrition professor in the Biology Department at City College of San Francisco and author of Health at Every Size. I'm here because I embrace the message of her book: don't wait to live your life—the perfect one you imagine you'll live one day in your perfect body. Live it now.


I want to make sure I've heard correctly. "You just said, I'm fat, right?"

She nods and says again, "yes." I'm silent. My hitherto unspoken weight hierarchy always began with thin, moved on to average, then on to chunky, then on to fat, and then finally, obese. I have always put myself in the chunky category, or its kinder, gentler cousin -- curvy. But never fat. Fat is another country, far away from where I live.

After a pause she asks, "What does that mean to you?"

"Well, what the f*** does that mean to you?" I counter.

She remains calm.

"Fat, you know," and here she grabs her nonexistent belly fat, "adipose tissue. Fat."

That's it? "All you mean by fat is 'adipose tissue'?"

"Yes," she says, "that's all I mean.

"But I know it's a loaded term," she adds.

You might say that.

Bacon tells me that even though she's using the word fat in the most clinical sense, the truth is, labels are always arbitrary. One person's average is another person's fat is another person's curvy. So don't get hung up on the labels.

"So tell me again what you mean by calling me fat?" I ask.

"What I'm saying is you have adipose tissue I might not see on a thinner person." She pauses, and then adds, "And regardless of any of these labels, you radiate health and vibrancy. I think you're gorgeous," she concludes.

I have to hand it to her; in our culture, fat and gorgeous are seldom used together in the same sentence.

Maybe she's using the word fat clinically, but it still stings. What's more, she's right. And I know it.

Couldn't I just accept this? Be fat and be fine with it? It's not that I yearn to look like a model. I'm heading toward 50 and I've had two children. I just know that at this point, for me, being fat doesn't feel good. My fat shows up in lots of ways: when I walk up hills and have to take frequent rests, when I need to buy the next size pants because my current ones don't close. If I'm going to change, I need to see clearly. Bacon's words may cut, but they're helping me do that.


It's one thing to understand something in my mind, and another to understand it in my body. And the only way I've ever been able to move from my mind to my body is through attention and practice. I've been doing yoga for a long time, and thought I knew this already.

I'm fat. My portions are out of balance. After all my explorations of different foods and my trips outward and inward, I still eat too much.

Everything I've wanted in life I've had to practice at. Finding the right relationship with food is no different. I couldn't see that a year ago. Now it's in my face. And there's no room left for me to dodge it.

There's a practice for each of us. As a cook, I've always preferred tossing and improvising to carefully measuring out ingredients. As a person, I've always felt it was my right to eat as much as I want, whenever I want. Now, my practice will be measuring my food.


This is a portion?

I'm weighing out three ounces of salmon. It's about the size of my palm -- excluding my fingers. I'm cooking dinner, and while Scott makes tortellini for the boys, I'm making baked salmon topped with lemon and dill for myself, along with brown rice and heaps of sautéed kale. I measure out a cup of rice, which, by the way, is about the size of my clenched fist. The three ounces of salmon seems small compared to what I'm used to, but what I'm used was too much.

As my family chows down their tortellini (topped with excellent parmesan cheese from The Cheese Board), I eat my wild salmon. It's fresh, and the oily flesh is satisfying. I eat my cup of nutty brown rice along with my kale. When I'm done, I'm neither hungry nor full. I'm satisfied, and that is unfamiliar.

My routines are changing now. When I make a salad, I take five olives out of the jar, and add olive oil by the teaspoon, instead of pouring it on. I sauté greens and top them with four ounces of grilled chicken. I take one square of chocolate, not the entire bar. I treat myself to a small piece of Acme baguette with an ounce of triple cream Cambozola cheese, not the wedge. And I still eat the most delicious yogurt in the world, from Straus Creamery, but now I have a half a cup, not a heaping bowl.

And I follow the advice of Linda Prout, a nutritionist based in Eugene, Oregon, whom I interviewed for a magazine piece many years ago. I add Celtic sea salt to my food, because it's full of minerals such as iron, magnesium and potassium. I eat small, oily fish, like sardines, herring, and anchovies because of their high levels of Omega-3 oils, and make sure to eat lots of cooked vegetables, especially leafy greens.

I not only measure my food, I also write down everything I eat. It is the only way I make sure I don't trick myself, and that I'm accountable. I've stopped fantasizing I can find balance without paying close attention to quantity. Maybe one day I won't have to measure and record, because understanding what a reasonable portion is will be second nature. But not now, and maybe not for a long time.

I pay attention to words, because words have power. I don't say I'm on a diet; rather, I think of measuring as a practice. Just like going to my yoga mat is practice. Practice is what you do every day to achieve what you desire. To write a book, you practice writing. You sit down each day and you do the work.

It is no different with losing weight. One ounce of triple cream Cambozola may be a small amount, but an ounce is an ounce. A cup of rice is a cup of rice. This is what the singer in my dream meant, when she said, “The secret is, there is no secret.” A portion is a portion, and practice is practice. There are no shortcuts.

Measuring, by its nature, requires me to pay attention to every portion. Measuring forms a container for my longings and boundaries for my lust. Without boundaries, I cannot find balance. Without limits, I cannot hope to be free.

And I begin to lose weight -- five pounds, ten pounds, twenty, then more. I start buying clothes one size, then another size smaller.

Even at this stage of my journey, I can see that being in a lighter body is complicated. Weight can obscure many things, including lust, sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and anger. As I lose weight and my buffer loosens, I am forced to grapple with these states more directly. I practice patience -- it takes the body and the mind time to learn to move through the world in a different way.

I know that my practice of food measurement is hardly an uncommon approach. I compare notes with friends, and I visit some of the different groups that support people who are trying to eat more carefully. I go to a Weight Watchers meeting and I hear a 300-pound woman start to cry, saying she can't bear to go to her high school reunion because she's "larger than a whale."

I sit in an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and hear a 120-pound woman cry about her imperfect body. She ate chocolate the other week and, that night, rammed her stomach into a banister to try to force the food up.

It is a revelation to me that a 120-pound person and a 300-pound person can each be similarly sad about their bodies. The thinner person may look like her act is more together, but pain is pain. Regardless of the number on the scale, few of us are truly happy and at home in the skin we're in.

In our culture, the number on the scale enforces a cruel hierarchy. Weight separates the worthy from the unworthy. But the truth is, it's difficult to be in a body, period. Witnessing this in myself and in others, I've begun to see through the delusion so many of us share -- that when we reach a particular weight, we will automatically be happy.

Now I have an answer to the question that yoga teacher Patricia Walden asked me a decade ago. "Why are you in this body? What does it have to teach you?"

I’ve learned that my mind and my body are equals, that they are completely entwined, and that each needs the other’s intelligence and wisdom to be whole. And I’ve learned that consciousness may be the beginning of transformation, but consciousness in action continues it.

My friend Timothy told me that it is possible to achieve absolute transformation very slowly. I believe him.

So I'm taking the long view. I have no goal for my weight. I spent so many years out of balance that it's hubris to believe achieving a number will mean I've found it. I am curvy by design and praise that! I’m not trying to look like anyone else; I’m trying to become more myself.

I am in a bardo state, as Bo Forbes earlier described. I'm in the process of letting go of old patterns, with new ones starting to emerge. I'm not sure where I'll land. But I keep measuring my food, and slowly, I’m waking up, meeting myself as I am, not who I wish I was.

I do my practice. I keep showing up.

Excerpted from Ravenous: A Food Lover's Journey from Obsession to Freedom by Dayna Macy. Published by Hay House.

We'll be giving away copies of Dayna's book later this month--details coming soon!

Measuring portions and journaling her food helped Dayna lose 30 pounds. What tools have you used to help you lose weight?

Being called "fat" was Dayna's "A-ha" moment. What was yours?

How does your story relate to hers?

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Straus really does make the best yogurt in the world...and I'm still known to enjoy pizza from the Cheese Board every now and then. Perhaps I'll see Dayna one day as I sit on the median under the sign that says "Stay Off the Median." Report
My ah ha moment was when I realized if my I didn't get healthy, I was going to lose my job. I was calling out due to a condition I have and my boss wasn't caring.
Also, I was either in pain or weak all the time. I don't want to spend the rest of my days like this. Report
I am 5'9" so I can gain a lot of weight easily without other people realizing a difference...of course I usually notice. Last summer I worked at an ice cream shop and gained about 10 pounds with as much free ice cream and fried food that I wanted. Nobody said anything. When I weighed myself I figured it wasn't a big deal.

Then I hit a stressful period in my life and lost control of schedule, routine, and health. I ate fast-food every day. I was a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding in November. The same weekend my pictures came back from that, I was going through my clothes, thinking suspiciously that it seemed like I was wearing the same pair of pants a lot.

I was. I was wearing the same two pairs of pants actually. Because that's all I could fit into. And they were getting tight. It's not that I didn't have any other pants, they were all in my storage room where I "hid" them when I didn't fit into them anymore. I then looked at the picture's from my cousin's wedding. I didn't even recognize myself. I compared pictures from last summer (when I was really fit) and the wedding and I couldn't believe it.

The pictures and the pants were my aha moments.

I can't wait to read this book and share it with my mom! Report
I think it's when I started to listen more to what the elders in my extended family said about their health - went through several surgeries, had to depends on pills to control their illness, having difficulty to be more mobile. I know that there's probability that I get those sickness but I rather fight hard than accept my fate. Report
I think I would enjoy this book! I'll have to check it out.

I loved the question/answer section where she mentions that she has had some realizations about food/eating, that she had to come to the realization about some things; if someone had just told her, she would not have listened. I can relate!

People kept telling me for years that I should count calories. I refused...at first. When I realized that I could lose with exercise alone, but could lose a lot more, and faster, with keeping within a caloric range, I was hooked!

cj Report
My aha moment was when I could barely bend over to tie my shoes. I was able to learn about portion control and what is healthy to eat, now I just need to work on my willpower. ^-^ And I'm definitely getting this book! Report
I am goin to get the book for my Kindle....I loved the excerpt.
Leesa Report
I am goin to get the book for my Kindle....I loved the excerpt.
Leesa Report
i must have this book!! Report
My aha moment was realizing that I probably was going to have to buy a larger size - again - and that the new size was the dress size I had worn in Grade 12 at a moment when I'd felt uncomfortably big (and that previously had been the most I'd ever weighed). Interestingly, the two moments involved weddings. When I was in Grade 12, I had felt miserable in a hideous (and to my eyes, huge) bridesmaid's dress at my sister's wedding. (It didn't help that my sister was 5'2" and her other bridesmaid was 5' and I was 5'7". I probably would have felt like Godzilla even if I'd been a toothpick, although I didn't realize it at the time.)

The aha moment came almost 30 years later, when I needed to buy a new (larger) dress for my father's second wedding. I'd been going up about one size every 6-8 months for about 3 years, ever since my mother had died after a short battle with cancer. (Hhm - didn't think about that connection until just now.) Before that, I'd maintained my weight in the same range (about 125 lbs) for most of my adult life, ever since I had lost the 20 pounds that had made me feel too big as a teenager.

What worked for me was: a) paying attention to portion size (and tracking my food except when I travel on vacations); b) sorting out a few problem moments in my day (eating a healthy snack at the office just before leaving work so I'm not ravenous when I get home); and c) keeping my short list of trigger foods (e.g., tortilla chips) out of the house most of the time. Report
I am goin to get the book for my Kindle....I loved the excerpt.
Leesa Report
I guess my aha moment was when my sister told me that my daughter said to her, if you start dieting I know my mom will do it with you. That is when I realized my children (they are grown) felt it necessary to somehow let me know that they were concerned for my health but didn't want to approach me themselves. After that I joined my sister on her healthy lifestyle journey making it mine also. Report
Wow! I am sooooo getting this book! I loved a few other things published by Hay House. I'm sure this one will be good. Report
When I couldn't hoist my fat butt up onto my horse...I needed help...then the saddle felt sooo tight, not comfy at all. I thought it was the wrong saddle, lol. Bingo...your butt is big! Report
I really enjoyed this chapter! My "a-Ha" moment was when I looked at myself in the mirror one day, naked, and didn't recognize myself. I had back rolls, my gut hung over and my thighs were HUGE. I couldn't believe it, and knew I HAD to do something! Report
My AH HA was seeing a picture of myself in a play I had just finished in 2007. The character I played was a 50 something, cigar smoking, widow in the 1950's. Bad clothes and makeup - I couldn't believe that was me ! I joined curves that February and Spark in April - and haven't looked back ! Report
Amazing story can't wait to read the book. My AH-HA moment came this last year after starting menopause & going through surgery.It was hard to admit I was doing everything to look good not to feel better. Our body, our health the most important vessel & we continue to mistreat it through thought & action.I am not sure where it all begins but I knew I had to find a way to make it stop. So here I am trying to be healthy. Report
I had a series of a-ha moments called menopause. My body seemed like some foreign object that was really chapped off at me for some reason. What was once firm was now flabby, a belly showed up that I was sure wasn't mine! Emotionally I went through a phase where I really didn't care. Then one day I realized, I'm getting old and I don't want to be old, fat and unhealthy. Better nip this in the bud !! Report
This is a great blog. I don't think I ever had a real Ah-Ha moment. I just woke up one day and said "I'm Done". That was just over 3 years ago. I lost almost 70 pounds. Then had some personal family issues and it has been up and down since. Report
Mine was my neck size I quit smoking and just kept gaining weight... and today I am down another half inch in neck size... that only took half a year.. Report
My aha moment was when I was winded during a night of dancing. There was a time not so long ago when I could dance all night without becoming even slightly winded! She is so right about pain being pain whether you weigh 120 or 300 pounds. It's about being healthy, isn't it? For example, I have a friend who is 110 lbs yet has health issues and I have another friend who is 150 lbs and she can run a 10k and is so much stronger than the rest of us! The bottom line is to find that healthy happy place that works for you, not anyone else. Report
I like the idea of "practice". When the author Dayna Macy says "conciousness may be the beginning of transformation, but conciousness in action continues it" I really got it. This makes so much sense to me and it is where I would like to be with my own self soon. Practice. Report
Love this article - thanks for sharing. I'll def. check out the book. Report
can't find it for the ipad. Do you know when the release date will be? Any other good ipad apps that have helped you nutritionally, motivationally, or what not? Report
I am definitely going to get her book for my Kindle ... as a REWARD to myself! She said so many things I have been thinking about, but the thoughts are jumbled in my mind. I LOVE it when I can read my own thoughts (for the most part) so clearly written by someone else! I'm still writing a blog (in my mind) and when I put it on paper / on my SparkPage I will give her credit for the quotes! Thanks for this! Report
This is awesome! Thanks for posting. I would love to read the book! Report
Thank you for such inspiration. I will slowly continue my journey of measuring and recording, after all I have been overweight and struggling for 45 of my 60 years. I will be patient and take time to learn how to eat well. Yes, I will eat my beloved yogurt in 1/2 cup portions! REAL cheese by the ounce.....thank you...as a tear runs down my face. I am doing it.....I can do it.....I will do it.....one measely pound or 1/2 pound at a time......learning as I go...THANK YOU!!! Report
I just bought this book for my kindle, I want to continue my wow moment :). Report
So interested in reading this. My ah-ha came last fall when I got together with friends from many years ago. Even my least athletic friend has been getting out running. Why shouldn't I? I decided there was no time like the present - not waiting for New Year's Day or any other random time, and no more excuses. I started running with the Couch to 5K program and have lost 2 sizes; now I am back to the spark to learn healthier food habits. And i am not making excuses. Report
fantastic! I'm going to get that book Report
This excerpt was great! It was in following a blog that I had a realization that both a thinner person as well as someone heavier can feel the same way about their bodies. Im still trying to find my 'it' moment, that knocks me in the head and keeps me focused on my vision of being a healthier - note NOT SKINNY human being. I havent found it yet, but Im not giving up. That paragraph about the body and mind being equals each with its own intelligence - that was a wow moment for me. Id never ever considered that. Thank you. Report
Thanks for printing this story! I found it fascinating. It is sad that so many women can't accept their bodies, and learning that measuring food brought freedom to the author was important. I also believe in measuring and recording my food. I don't do it every day, but when I do it, I feel better about myself - even if I didn't have a great food day. It's so easy to overeat and not realize it.
Thank you for sharing the chapter from Ravenous. I want to read the whole book now. Report
I so enjoyed this extract from Dayna Macy's book. I can totally identify with her on so many points especially the realization that I am fat and not just 'well built'. Seeing myself in a shop window was my aha moment. I didn't even recognise myself to the point I looked around thinking it was someone elses reflection. But I walk with crutches and that obese woman staring back at me in disgust was wearing the same dress and also had crutches. There was no mistake it was me and I was horrified. I remember asking my daughter why hadn't she told me I had become so fat and she tried to placate me by telling me I wasn't that 'big' and that with my mobility problems it wasn't surprising I'd put on 'some' weight.
However the scales didn't lie and my daughter recommended SparkPeople.com so here I am. I would love to read all of Dayna's book too as I'm sure it would put a lot of things in perspective for me.. Report
...no real aha moment (yet) just an always fluctuating process of being aware and then being mindless...thanks for this- i really could relate to it- especially the portion distortion! Report
I know I was over weight but not 'FAT' other people were fat but not me. I was just a little over weight. Then we got back the pictures from my son's wedding. Big a-ha moment for me. I looked at those pictures and thought that can't be me....she's fat. I stood on a scale for the first time in years and realized I weighed 199.5 lbs. Huge a-ha moment. Then my in-laws got sick. Their not obese just fat and I thought if I don't change that will be me, next a-ha moment. 38lbs later I'm still working on it but getting closer. I struggle with my natural laziness. I hate being hot and sweaty, it's so much easier to sit and read a book or watch TV then to exercise. But I just keep reminding myself I don't want to be like my in-law's 'fat and sick and not be able to do things with my kids and grandkids.
I loved this post-- I'm like the 120-pound person who felt the same anguish as the 300-pound woman. My a-ha moments are when I can no longer button my tailored trousers. When I stopped compulsively eating, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of emptiness and chronic loneliness. Now instead of mistaking every uncomfortable feeling for hunger, I'm learning to ask myself what I am really feeling, and seeing if I can allow myself to tolerate the feeling without running from it (towards the nearest cookie). I also read Geneen Roth's "Women, Food and God" and loved her practice of always eating mindfully and stopping when you are full-- even if it's mid-bite. Taking it to that level makes me really pay attention. I also visited a friend who religiously tracked her calories (I had become lax) and was inspired to start tracking again, not with the goal of being skinny because of vanity, but rather with the goal of protecting my joints and avoiding the many cancers that are associated with being even 10 pounds overweight. I am also looking into ways to address my chronic loneliness; I've joined a Secular Buddhists group and am making more social engagements.

Life has been fun, and I am happy to say that I am once again able to button my trousers! Report
This is a great blog!!! Thanks!!!! Report
Whoa. I was curious about this book when it was mentioned earlier, but now I feel inclined to see if I can get it free from Amazon (I read you can download it to your PC instead of kindle if you don't have one).

This sounds very soul-searching, which is what I've been doing since I hit my goal and have maintained, but still find myself beating myself up all the time in my head, unsure if I've found my "happy weight" that I can maintain for life. This book sounds like it could give some insights. Report
Whoa. I was curious about this book when it was mentioned earlier, but now I feel inclined to see if I can get it free from Amazon (I read you can download it to your PC instead of kindle if you don't have one).

This sounds very soul-searching, which is what I've been doing since I hit my goal and have maintained, but still find myself beating myself up all the time in my head, unsure if I've found my "happy weight" that I can maintain for life. This book sounds like it could give some insights. Report
My a-ha moment .... well I've had a couple and both were last summer. First was during a cave hike in which there was a 6 foot sheer wall to climb. I couldn't do it. It took my boyfriend and 2 strangers to pull me over the ledge. So very humiliating. The second was at an amusement park. You couldn't ride the ride unless the harness clicked in all the way. I had to let every last bit of air out of my lungs to get it to fit and everyone was waiting on me. I have now lost 31 lbs and well on my way to my goal of 70 lbs. Report
I didn't read the entire exerpt because I just got this book for my kindle. I am reading a chapter each day and enjoying it. (the Kindle edition was free from Amazon one day last week). Report
Excellent blog! Report
My aaa-haaaa! moment...my wake-up call only came when I was able to realize that being diabetic2 didn't have a hold on me...my dearest friend came through on her moving trip and stopped to stay awhile. She's an R.N. with a Master's Degree and she said to me, "Jeannine, I don't think you'd be diabetic if you exercised and lost the weight!" I often, hear her voice saying those exact words--still. AND, I HAVE BEEN ENLIGHTENED--ONLY WITH GOD'S HELP CAN I GET THIS DONE !!! I'm over 60 now, and the real champions are the ones who obey God's laws and muster up. So, it's happening now slowly...but that's a good thing. I'm a size smaller top and bottom (never matching) my bottom's always a size ahead of my top...God's wisdom did that to me....womanhood, motherhood...hey, I'm in the "hood" ! Thanks to my Creator. I LOVE HIM.
Also, Pope John Paul wrote the Theology of the Body...I took the class this winter in a church group and I learned that how we present ourselves is a gift we can give to each other and to glorify God ! How marvelous is this ! Report
I am in the process of finding the motivation to get back into the "practice". This article is really helping. My aha moment was about 2 years ago when I realized I was definately going from medium to large in shirts size and was almost on the verge of going to size 14 pants. I drew the line at size 12.
I joined a website MFD and started logging my food and excercising. I have previously done Weight Watchers and learned a lot of good food habits from the program. The problem is I couldn't maintain. As soon as I get to my goal, I stop and slowly gain it all or more back. I have lost weight since my highest but slowly gained about 2/3 of it back. I know all that I need to do and it is getting easier to do it but I actually have to do it! It's just like excercise, I think about starting Zumba or some other workout I enjoy but keep putting it off with the excuse of "not having enough time" or not getting around to signing up, etc. I am a very spiritual person and have done yoga in the past. I practice grounding meditation and "being" in my body but somehow still have all these struggles around my relationship with food. I don't have a sweet tooth but portion control is a problem as is eating for comfort. I like the idea of seeing weight loss as a spiritual journey. I am going to do more of this as I think this may be fruitful. Report
Mine,,,when I had back surgery and found how hard it was to move at the weight I was. And finding a picture , taken with my son, when I was just getting done with chemo. I always thought I would become this bald skinny person because of the chemo. Wrong! All I became was bald. The skinny never happened. I was told that was normal .That chemoo usually puts on weight. Well on that I was lucky coz my weight stayed the same. I look at that picture today, and it keeps me going. The measuring part, I have found is very critical. It's a true fact,, my eyes are not a good measure of portions. Who knew! Loved this article. I want to save it because it is one I could come back to and learn from all over again. Report
My AHA moment came the year my doctor prescribed my high blood pressure medication, sent me for a sleep test (I ended up with a C-PAP because the test showed that I had sleep apnea), and asked me if I'd ever considered gastric bypass surgery (I was 400 pounds at the time this happened).

I'm looking forward to reading the book. Report
My A-ha moment was when the seatbelt on an airplane did not fit around me! I was so embarrassed to say anything that I pretended it was fine! I can't wait to get on an airplane now after losing 45 pounds! Report
My "ah-ha" was when I witnessed a woman, about my size, slip and fall. She broke her arm and hit the back of her head hard, so since we didn't know what else might be injured, we asked her not to move until the paramedics could properly transport her to the hospital to be checked out. I overheard many people in the crowd murmuring sympathy for the poor EMT's, wondering how they would manage to lift her (P.S. They were buff; they were young; they did fine.) On top of her pain, the poor woman was totally humiliated about her size and more concerned about being too heavy to lift than about aggravating her injuries. She kept wanting to get up to save them the trouble, but just making everything harder for all concerned. I was 59 at the time and thought that it would not be unusual for someone my age to need an ambulance, so for the sake of those sweet, dedicated people who work the underappreciated job of EMT, I needed to start NOW, so when they have to come and cart me off, my weight will not be a major obstacle. It was too sad to see an injured woman so humiliated by the simple fact that someone had to lift her weight. Report