Do You Ever Feel Like You Donít Belong?

51SHARES

By: , SparkPeople Blogger
4/13/2012 6:00 AM   :  107 comments   :  58,065 Views

See More: healthy living, friends,
I used to think that the grade school and high school years were the worst times for feeling like I didn’t belong.  There were the “cool” kids and the “not-so-cool” kids, and fitting in was so important to me and my young friends.    I look back now and shake my head at some of the things I did and said in order to feel like I was part of the group.  Even though we all grow up and (most of us) mature, we still feel a need to belong.  You might not have the need to feel cool or popular like you did when you were 12 years old, but no one wants to feel like an outsider. 
 
In my adult years, I’ve struggled with feeling like an outsider from time to time.   I raise my kids a little different than how I was raised or how many of my friends are choosing to parent.  I have dreams of moving to a farm, growing my own food and homeschooling my kids.  I want a simple life for me and my family, which isn’t always understood by those around me.  For a long time I thought that moving somewhere different and totally changing my life was the only way I was going to find true happiness.  I’m slowly realizing that I can create the life I want for myself no matter where I live or what I do.  If people consider me an outsider because I don’t do things the way they do, that’s okay.  I’d rather be friends with those who are willing to accept my differences and be my friend anyway, whether they agree with me or not.
 
Maybe you’ve struggled with feeling like you don’t belong.  Your situation might be different from mine, in that it’s not your parenting or lifestyle choices that set you apart.  Maybe it’s the fact that you’re trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle when others around you don’t support it.  You go to a restaurant with your friends, and suddenly you’re no longer sharing the chips and cheese dip that come before the meal.  When they suggest heading to the ice cream parlor for dessert, you politely decline because you don’t want to be tempted by sights and smells of high-calorie, high-fat treats.  All of a sudden something you once shared with a group of people is now something you don’t have in common.  That can certainly make you feel like you don’t belong.    
 
Perhaps your weight is a new struggle in your life.  In the past, you were able to eat whatever you wanted without worrying about whether or not your pants would fit.  Your friends are still like that, but suddenly you have to think twice about whether or not you should eat that second serving of pasta.  You’re dealing with issues related to self-esteem because you don’t look like you once did, but your friends and family are unable to relate to your feelings.  That can certainly make you feel like you don’t belong. 
 
So what can you do?  I think the first step is to talk about how you’re feeling.  Getting it out there can make you feel better, and can also help those around you better understand what’s going on.  Maybe there are things they can do to help you feel less like an outsider, such going out for frozen yogurt or skipping dessert and talking a walk together instead.  Although there are some things you may no longer have in common, I’d bet there are other things that you do.  Even though we don’t parent the same way, my friends and I still have many of the same likes, dislikes and interests. Focus on those ways in which you can relate, instead of putting all of the emphasis on the ways you can’t.
 
I think I’ll always feel like I’m a little different from those around me.  As I get older, I try to embrace those differences instead of trying to fight them or convince others about why I’m “right”.  We are all different, and that’s what makes us interesting.
 
What do you think?  Have there been times in your life when you felt like you didn’t belong?


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Comments

  • 107
    I have felt like an outsider many times during my life. My life choices tend to set me apart and I have a lot of trouble adjusting to changes within the groups where I am involved. It is good to be different, but also hard when one does not have anyone who seems to understand where you are in your life. Thanks for writing this blog... it speaks to me where I find myself many times. - 12/26/2014   2:26:54 AM
  • FOXGLOVE999
    106
    It was easier for me when I was younger. But I have become so disgusted with people, that I really can only tolerate my family. I've pretty much given up on people. - 10/6/2014   11:57:49 PM
  • PLANTEB
    105
    LILYPAD1794, we should be friends! I too am 20, I'm a female attending college. It's always been difficult for me to make friends, even through out elementary school I only had 1 friend. Now, I have 0 friends which isn't so great. I'm good with being alone, but I don't wish to be alone for the rest of my life(friendless). Feel free to e-mail me at edielbratt@gmail.com, it seems we have a lot in common. :) - 12/13/2013   10:13:18 PM
  • LILYPAD1794
    104
    20 F. I've been an outcast for as long as I could remember. I'm currently in college, and since I started I tried to come out of my shell of shyness and try to talk to people but for 2 years now, I could never make any friends. I talk to people but then they go and talk to other classmates and become friends with them. I've met some people who have the same interest in music and hobbies as I do but they seem to not want to talk to me at all. I did have one friend but he is in the military and got married and now is having a child. I try to talk to him but he is so caught in with his growing family that I just stopped. Well he stopped. I have a bf but idk sometimes I think he is using me or feels bad for me cause I have no friends or any emotional support from family so I guess he's still with me for that reason. But it's sad. I like to be alone but I do enjoy company and I just look very uncomfortable when I see others having fun with friends and I'm in the corner smiling and hoping that maybe I'll have that friend to talk to and have laughs and talk. I sometimes have to talk to myself. It's stupid. I also have a dog so I share my feelings with him even though he doesn't talk. I guess I'll end up being an outcast everywhere I go. Even in family events. - 12/5/2013   1:32:13 AM
  • KOKODA68
    103
    I have felt this last year that my friendships have changed a lot. I really only have four close friends, one is great still but lives interstate. The other three have become very judgmental and like to drag me down, telling me I'm silly or giving me unwanted advice when their own lives are not that great. One friend never answers her home phone when I ring her and only calls me when she has limited time between her commitments and this makes me wonder why she bothers calling me at all. She invites other friends to things and I'm not included, I can only figure out that she probably doesn't think I'm good enough to be around her and her family anymore. So, this is where I'm at, 45 and almost friendless. I want friends who I enjoy being with simply because they like to share things, not judge or put down and tell me that I'm silly or over-reacting. I mean, heck, this year my son has left me to go and live interstate with his dad (he came back eventually) and I've lost a sister to cancer and it seems that when I need my friends the most they've decided that it would be a good time to withdraw or make me feel like a hopeless, incompetent idiot. I think it's time to move on and make new friends in a positive way, friends that are light, airy and fresh. I hope everyone out there who feels alone, friendless and worthless can find people who will invigorate you and make you feel like a part of something again. - 11/24/2013   8:27:35 PM
  • THEOUTCAST
    102
    i have always felt like i didnt belong when i was growing up every one was so different and it felt like i was talking a different language i wasnt able to fit in eny groups but as time went by i soon came to terms with everything i was better off not trying to be like everyone else the "cool kids" and to just be me i was alone for 5 years without enyone to talk to and without friends but i just kept getting my grades at college it was hard but when i started university only to find that there was people that understand what it feels like to be different /unique and to be the "outcast" and in a way i know what that feels like but as i go place to place i meet the people that where "outcast" if i where to put it in that term and we all have something in common and now i dont call them outcasts i call them friends i look back with a smile because i am not alone enymore .

    being different is not a curse its a gift thats what my girlfriend told me one morning . - 6/22/2013   9:02:37 PM
  • SEANOBIRD
    101
    49 m - never belonged in school, military, tried school again - started on ebay when they 1st opened = I sell replica stuff and everyone hates me there, people on facebook have all ignored me now, family doesnt care, so I been goin to church over the Summer - they seemed to care but they just lookin for $ and want me to go around and help them get more members (more money) their programming doesnt seem to be working on me either - so they ignore me now cause I dont feel right doin that (intruding on other people by knocking on doors), - neighbors dont like me - I'm in oklahoma and from Chicago. woman i was w for 17 years is a drug addict and just stayed with me cause I let her use me, I have ZERO friends. I dont have one single person to talk to - I resorted to writing women in prison cause I think they must be as desperate as me for love or friends. I own my home on 3 acres and have no debt. I'm in great health and a nice looking guy (as far as humans go i guess) - my goal is to move to florida or puerto rico to a condo - so if anyone wants to talk my email is jsremingon @ hotmail . com - 11/6/2012   2:15:31 PM
  • 100
    I don't belong because I'm just plain different. I'm at an age where almost everyone of my friends loves the solitude they have or get. I hate it - I feel so alone, spend way too much time here and on facebook - cause I'm alone. My friend says I need to learn to be independent - I do everything for myself, with myself - and what else is there to be independent. I don't fit in cause I do for others what I hope others will do for me - yeah right - it doesn't work that way - I want people to call and give support when something happens like my Dad dies - but NO - they were giving me space. I call or text daily when it happens to them - just to offer support - didn't happen. I think some of us are doomed to be different or not belong forever. - 6/14/2012   11:55:50 PM
  • 99
    Sad that so many of us feel (or felt) this way. I think it is just life... - 4/26/2012   1:30:50 AM
  • 98
    All these insightful comments makes me wonder if EVERYONE in some way or another, feels that he/she doesn't fit in- belong-is different...which also means we all are the same in that regard and not quite as different as we think, as we're alone with our own thoughts and assuming that "everyone else is 'in the group' but me---which means there's an even better reason to, as has been mentioned, embrace our differences! I could relate to nearly everything in some form or another and while I usually "stalk" without commenting, I do want to say how much I appreciate (and read) as much as I can...also, if now being "different" means I'm trying to be balanced, healthy, fit, positive...well those differences are so okay with me! - 4/20/2012   3:35:41 PM
  • 97
    I've always felt this way, as an adult and a child. It's nice to know that others are in the same boat. Thank you for this post! - 4/20/2012   7:32:11 AM
  • ROBBIN68
    96
    OMG! I am overwhelmed right now to know that I am not the only person that feels this way. - 4/18/2012   8:53:14 PM
  • LAKENVELDER57
    95
    Have always been different. I had friends in High School but after that I have been mostly by myself. I believe it is because I am not the typical female into fashion, hair and the other typical things. I enjoy the outside activities they most. I remember going to the Gym in college and a jock come up to me being a jerk and asking why was I there. Was I going to try to beat up my boyfriend? This was in the early 70's. gym was not an activity that females did at that time and I stopped going. I now have an micro farm and family and others can not understand why. too much work and too far away. Right now since I lost my job some days are a little lonely. When working at the end of the day I am ready to get away from people. When I am busy gardening it does not matter the lack of social but I do sometimes miss having a next door neighbor at times. I do belong to a meet -up group and join the activities to have some social base and suggest that to others. - 4/18/2012   2:12:27 PM
  • MIRANDA2112
    94
    I think we all do at some stage or another. Getting older usually solves the problem. - 4/18/2012   1:58:13 PM
  • 93
    I've always felt different than many people, but I've always felt that I belonged with my family. So, it's never really been a big dfeal. - 4/18/2012   10:35:11 AM
  • POPCORNCARLA
    92
    I was immediately drawn to this blog... I nearly always feel alone. Was over overweight, childhood through adulthood, so wasn't athletic therefore not picked for teams, had friends but not many that I really truely felt a connection with. Was always kinda in the middle and always felt like I was just a number, and could easily have been invisable growing up and no one would have noticed. As an adult I'm social and enjoy being around others but I am very guarded. I feel like most people have let me down in my life so I just tend to keep them at arms length. My husband works 3-11 and I work days so we don't even see each other until the weekend. My kids are grown and I do see them often (sometimes too often) but thats not the same as having someone you can talk to and feel comfortable with. Two years ago I made the decision to change my life but even that was by myself. I go to the gym by myself, I work out by myself, I walk by myself, I eat by myself.... I am the healthiest and smallest I've even been in my life. Am probably the most confident I've ever been in my life, but even with all of the changes I still feel alone. - 4/18/2012   9:03:38 AM
  • 91
    Talking about not fitting in: I grew up in the 60's in a pentacostal christian home. We only did things with family and only did church things. I have never had alcohol and never smoked a cigarette because of the pain that I saw it caused my extended family. Our vacations were mostly church related. Funny thing is, that is still what I like to do. I am very excited that I get to go to a 3 day church conference in 2 weeks. It's ok that I am different, for I know who I am. - 4/18/2012   7:20:36 AM
  • 90
    I too enjoyed reading your blog. Sometimes I feel outside because i like doing things by myself. I have never had a large circle of friends but I usually have one friend I can talk to. I guess we are all unique in how we relate to our world and to other people. I am 58 years old but I am just now starting to get involved in community groups. It seems to be a good way to meet other people.
    I wish you all the best. Remember your are unique. God made you special. - 4/17/2012   4:28:58 PM
  • 89
    Interesting blog, thank you for sharing! I think we all have moments or face situations where we feel that we don't belong. Personally, I feel like I belong a lot more now that I have adopted a healthier lifestyle. I now surround myself with people who feel the same way I do about living a smart, healthy life. People are extremely supportive and understanding, and if I meet someone who doesn't understand and doesn't support my choices and my beliefs, then it's their loss, not mine!
    It took me a long time to understand that what people think is not important. I have to do what's right for me, and if it means I don't belong with the crowd who goes out drinking or lies on the couch all day, then so be it! - 4/17/2012   11:14:38 AM
  • BAMAJAM
    88
    My childhood was indeed painful. I suffered from family trauma, and I could not be comfortable with classmates. Now, with adult maturity, I have a healthy degree of confidence, and belonging to any particular group, is not a priority. I have a supportive husband, and we enjoy our family life. I have no interest in society parties, or being part of an entertainment circle. My neighbors are friends, and life is okay! Life gets better when one can accept herself (himself) and learn confidence. This subject evokes lots of emotion, and many of us can remember the pain of "not belonging"... however, healing and acceptance can be achieved. There are counselors who are capable of helping us through the pain, and there are some excellent books available at the library. - 4/16/2012   5:09:20 PM
  • LARSEN_84
    87
    There have been many times in my life I didn't feel I belonged. I still struggle with it but I take the time to remind myself that GOD loves me just the way I am. I also have family that loves me for who I am. Isn't that enough??? - 4/16/2012   4:52:09 PM
  • 86
    I think we all do at times great blog - 4/16/2012   3:07:36 PM
  • 85
    Wow, I can really relate to this topic. I went through and read random comments from others, how can there be so many of us who feel so alone? I grew up in a very abusive, unkempt, disgusting home. So our family was always the outcast slum that no one had anything to do with. I think that caused me to not know how to make friends or to be liked. I was always rejected by the very person who should have loved me (my mom) so I never knew how to be loved or accept love. As an adult, I have always worked in a mans field, and as a woman, you can't be friends with the guys outside of work. Their wives would not allow it, plus they are people I really like, but wouldn't be comfortable doing the things they do in their off time. I am a very religious person, I don't drink or smoke, or gamble. So I just wouldn't fit in. At church, I am alone too, I work and am not a stay at home mom. I don't do fancy crafts and I don't have an artistic bone in my body, so I have nothing to contribute to the clics at church. I sit alone, Most of the time no one ever even acknowledges me, if they do it is to discuss something about one of the kids. Our neighbors are all indoors, people on our street don't speak to each other. So ya, I feel alone. Thank god for my wonderful husband, he is my best friend and I am grateful for him. - 4/16/2012   10:03:40 AM
  • NAMASTE-SHANTI
    84
    I never felt like I fit in, I always felt I was alone in the world. As a small child I only remember two time that someone cared about me, the first was a woman who took care of me for a weekend when I was less than 2years old and the second was a neighbor who comforted me at 6yrs old when I got hurt. Before going to get six stiches my mother scolded me for stopping by the neighbors before coming home, I was never comforted by either of my mom or my step-dad. I grew up feeling alone and unloved, never really felt like I fit in. It was always hard for me to make friends, I carried this into adult life, never knew how to make friends. My husband and I did have a nice circle of friends for many years, we were would talk and get together often, slowly jpbs and family got in the way and we would see each other less often, some move out of the area and several died of cancer. Most people my age do not want to do things with someone with the demand of kids, so this also make is difficult to make friend. I feel very isolated and long to have someone to talk to during the day. I am hard of hearing so it is difficult to talk on the phone, or talk outside to the neighbors, I feel that I don't know how to have an adult conversation any more. - 4/15/2012   11:18:45 PM
  • 83
    I had always felt like an insider, very social and the life of the party. I owned my own business and helped anyone that asked wether it be with their monthly rent or college tuition. Due to illness I sold my business and retired in 2004. Gradually over the next several years everyone that was in my social circles has disappeared. Even some close family and friends have distanced themselves from me, in my opinion it is because I am unable to benefit them financially.( Ugly thought ) Up until February 2011 I did 40-60 hours of volunteer work a week and stayed very active traveled all over nursing the sick, helping elderly move, supporting a homeless shelter, soup kitchen and the church. Since my accident 2/11(at the place I volunteered) I have been homebound, the owner of the charity acted like I hurt myself on purpose and actually forbid me to be on the property again. This hurt me very deeply, I went into a deep depression, suffered anxiety, and nearly 100 lb weight gain in addition to physical injury. Anyone I shared my experience with said "sue" I could not do that because I concerned myself with the homeless and hungry, that motivated me to support it, in the first place.
    I am consider ignorant and obese, by many.
    I am on the mend, I am going to heal in every way........ And I am going to continue to love the unlovable, embrace myself and the place I am today, unbelonging in this life. - 4/15/2012   7:44:08 PM
  • 82
    Oh yes I can totally relate to topic - 4/15/2012   5:44:02 PM
  • FIRECOM
    81
    I have not been troubled with this much in my life until we decided to move from our home in Woodinville, WA to Gilbert, AZ. We lived in WA for 41 years, very active in the community, church and had many, many friends. Now we live in a community that is never outdoors. They come home, garge door goes up, car goes in and door comes down. We have not yet found a group of friends our age and we miss that. We have a son here and his family, and we go to those wonderful youth sports and the parents there are cordial, but it is not the same. My wife often says that she would like to move back to WA but that is not financially possible.

    I am not really complaining, but it would be great to have a loving circle of friends once again.

    All in all, life is good. - 4/15/2012   12:58:19 PM
  • 80
    I have always felt like an outsider, as if i didn't really belong with "The Group" but now at 48 realizing that if i still don't "belong" it's okay. I am a good, caring person I am funny and have been told i am fun to be with so now i have decided i have to "own" who i am. I live with Me 24/7 and if i am not happy with myself or comfortable with myself no one else will be either an i finally am beinginning to lke Me for Me. - 4/15/2012   11:04:57 AM
  • INCH_BY_INCH
    79
    Yes, I think we all feel from time to time as the odd man out. I remember once in middle school my parents sent us kids to a parochial school after being in elementary-public school with lots of farm kids. Then to this parochial school we were the only farm kids amongst a pretty affluent crowd. You can say what you want we can be clean and well pressed but somehow the odor of the barn seems to linger through. So the students there decided not to be our friends, but took small rocks and put them in snowballs and through it at us. I have to say we were great at holding up the walls on the school. I hated that feeling of making sure you knew you didn't belong and won't be accepted. I try hard not to make someone else feel that way. Enjoy them for who they are....it doesn't mean you must agree with everything. Now I look at as that one show...can't remember the name of it....differences only means both of you are thinking. Really thats what makes all of great...our differences. - 4/15/2012   10:01:22 AM
  • 78
    We all have that longing to "belong." In those times when I have agonized over not belonging to a certain group, I found when I've taken a step back to look at the group I've been excluded from, I wouldn't have been comfortable with those people had I gotten an "invitation" to participate with them. It's taken me most of my life to get to the point I am today, but I have grown to accept that not everyone is going to like me or want to be with me and that's OK; I'm finally comfortable with who I am and won't worry any longer about being what others want me to be. There is something truly liberating in being true to oneself. - 4/15/2012   9:53:49 AM
  • MIRANDA2112
    77
    Great article and from the responses it is clearly evident that many of us at different stages of our lives feel we are different or 'dont fit in'. As I grow older I have to admit that I embrace the differences in my thinking which has led me to live MY life as I want to and not 'fall into line' just to be part of a group. - 4/15/2012   5:52:41 AM
  • 123ELAINE456
    76
    I feel so alone since childhood. People only want to be around me to get what they want. They steel from me also. Don't have any friends or family near by to help me in any way shape or form. I line along and go for days with seeing anyone. Its been very rough and lonely life. This is what being alone all my life is about. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. - 4/15/2012   4:09:49 AM
  • 75
    There have been many times that I felt like I didn't belong and was alone even when I was around a lot of people. People would converse with me, but I still felt left out. I ate differently that they did. Didn't do that same things they did. I didn't even use the same type of language they did or tell "dirty" jokes. I was over weight and that also made me feel left out even though there were others around me who were also over weight. I felt laughed at all the time wether I was or not. I just didn't fit in. When I started counseling things began to change for me and I began to see that it was a matter of perspective. I was in control of that feeling and began to see it as their problem, not mine. If they didn't want to fit in with me that was ok. I began to find people who accepted me no matter what I believed or what I did. I now have lots of friends. And even some of my childhood classmates are my friends today. We haven't changed much, we have just grown up and accept each other the way we are. It's great! - 4/15/2012   12:46:59 AM
  • 74
    I was always an outside growing up...all the way into high school. As a kid, I played by myself and was happy with that. Getting older, I liked different music than everyone else, my hair was naturally dark and always long, and my nose was (and still is) rather sizable. I was bullied a lot.

    BUT...I never felt the need to change myself for anyone else. Yes, I still felt awkward around people sometimes. Yes, I felt left out, and I was ridiculed for not doing what other people were, but I was always true to me. And I really do feel so much better for that now. :-) - 4/14/2012   11:30:35 PM
  • 73
    Every Single Day - 4/14/2012   10:31:06 PM
  • 72
    lets see...i'm a 49 year old woman who has a stay at home husband and a 7 year old only son and i'm an overweight doctor... just what "normal" group would i fit in with?!!? lol i try to spend time with people who make me happy or feel good. so when i am at the ball field i gravitate toward people who dont swear like sailors or i mention something about church and see if people reposnd positively. i have also learned that sometimes you think someone is a snob but there are really shy so give everyone a chance! i'm very comfortable and relaxed in my space at work but hate new social situations just like when i was young so i figure theres some other people who feel as akward meeting new people as i do so i will just make myself start talking to folks and see how it goes. most of the time they are fine with chatting casue they are bored too. - 4/14/2012   9:57:21 PM
  • 71
    Thank you for asking this question. - 4/14/2012   9:23:10 PM
  • 70
    I feel like I have never belonged. Ever since I was a little kid. I don't know why. When I was in high school we went to a "regional" high school and that made me like an outsider. Maybe I was and maybe I wasn't. I think the only time I didn't feel like one was when I worked Walmart. I felt like I was loved and accepted. Even now, last night when I was out last night I felt like an outsider. Maybe I should put myself out there more..... - 4/14/2012   9:15:28 PM
  • 69
    As a kid, my Mom always told me you are not better than anyone, but know no one is better than you. Have always felt I fit in and most times was the leader. I am different, but I think it is because I always see it half full or more and I love to laugh. You cannot take this life too seriously, no one gets out alive. Enjoy! - 4/14/2012   8:09:36 PM
  • 68
    I felt like I don't belong. But have learned to find peace in nature. - 4/14/2012   7:12:12 PM
  • 67
    Just today, I met a couple guys at McDonald's for breakfast so we could car pool to an all day meeting. I got there late because I ate yogurt and granola at home instead. When they went back to a McDonald's for lunch, I sat in the car and ate a pear, a muscle bar and some beef jerky. It gets easier and easier to be different. - 4/14/2012   6:47:26 PM
  • MOMMAGRIZ
    66
    I've always been the 'weird kid'. I've never really fit in and I'm fine with that. I do my own thing and if other people are into it, great. If not, that's fine too. My daughter is the same way. She actually embraces being different and I couldn't be prouder. Our motto is "sometimes what is popular isn't always right and what's right isn't alway popular". The most important thing is that we be the best versions of ourselves that we can be. The rest kinda falls into place from there. Some of the best inventions, music, art, science and discoveries come from those who don't fit in, who are different, who aren't afraid to go against the flow. It's like that quote, "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". - 4/14/2012   3:57:24 PM
  • 65
    I have also struggled with this. Every time I thought I have accepted that I am a loner, a social situation comes along, and I really want to fit in, and I try a little, but my shyness and low self esteem keeps me back. Then I become disappointed and depressed. I actually don't like to be alone, but I just can't seem to break this cycle. - 4/14/2012   3:38:15 PM
  • 64
    Ive never been politicaly correct or any other correct if I were rich theyd call me excrentic but im just an olhippy whos decided to eat a lot healthier for not just me but my stepson Kris he has 48 xxyy and has gluten issues. Sparkpeople has helped us in ways i cant even put words to so im very grateful that i do belong to somethin big soomethin healthy and i love it - 4/14/2012   2:57:05 PM
  • 63
    I am a geek, always have been, always will be. So I have never "fit in" to the popular crowd or the best dressed crowd or the let's shop till we drop crowd. I am fine with the love classical music crowd, the honor God on Sunday and every day crowd and the take care of the earth crowd. And now I have things in common with the work out crowd! I like being me and have tried to raise my daughters to like being themselves, regardless of the "in crowd". - 4/14/2012   2:40:15 PM
  • 62
    Always been an odd duck, and somewhat of a rebel. Some soul-searching after my first heart-to-heart with my father in my 20's convinced me that my uniqueness is a gift, not a curse. As long as I am true to myself and never sacrifice my own standards, "belonging" will not be an issue in my life.
    Neither am I an 'island unto myself'. I love fearlessly, and am loved in return.

    Thanks, Jen, for writing this! If it helps one person see the true value in their 'uniqueness', you have given a gift - and made a friend - for life. - 4/14/2012   2:34:30 PM
  • 61
    Thanks for sharing. When I was younger I really felt like I didn't belong. I had no friends and was a loner. Now that I am 50 I have come into myself. Yes, I'm different and I am proud of that. I no longer feel I have to "fit in." I want people to like me for me, not who they want me to be. I like myself! - 4/14/2012   1:44:12 PM
  • MASSINO
    60
    Nice Blog. It seems to have hit a cord with a lot of people. I think everyone at one time or another feels like they don't belong. It's all in what we do with the feeling and or situation...We all need to find our nitch. Everyone has one. Good luck to everyone. - 4/14/2012   1:33:05 PM
  • 59
    I am me. And for someone who is approaching his mid 60's I like being the active one. The group thing is quite predominant in our culture, just look up "group think." Tis nice to be yourself and set your own parameters of life, especially if it means a healthier life.
    Thanks for sharing this article. - 4/14/2012   1:05:17 PM
  • 58
    This is a really great blog, Jen, and I see it has resonated with many readers already. I remember thinking that adulthood would chase away all such feelings; but, as you point out, it does not usually work that way. I hope that many of the readers of this blog will take heart in the fact of knowing they are not alone. If so many many adults feel they don't belong, you gotta wonder who 'does' feel they belong? Maybe others are just better at masking their feelings in these situations. - 4/14/2012   12:52:59 PM

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