Say Goodbye


By: , SparkPeople Blogger
  :  61 comments   :  18,871 Views

Have you ever thought about the phrase ''say goodbye'' as it relates to your weight loss journey?

Are you on this journey to simply lose weight or are you are on this journey to change your life?  You do realize there is a difference, right?  Here’s the deal: you may be here to lose weight. That’s why the majority of us joined SparkPeople in the first place.  However, there are so many other things you may very well gain, or lose along the way.    

Sometimes I come across ''stuff'' that really hits me where it counts.  Recently, while I was exercising on the elliptical machine, the song ''Say Goodbye'' by Mandisa came on my iPod. For the first time, I fully listened to the lyrics, and they really spoke to me about what I've been through in my weight loss journey.

Let me break it down.

''To the voice, to the liar in the mirror, saying you can’t ever change.''   My initial thought after hearing the first line of this song was something like, ''Well, that voice is wrong!''  Then after I gave it a little more thought I realized that I had listened to that lying voice for many years.  I had actually halfheartedly tried a few years ago to lose a little weight.  Like many who had tried before me and many who will keep trying, I saw no success and I listened to the voice and liar in the mirror and gave up.  I listened to the voice and I believed it!  This is a major struggle that countless people will face daily on this journey.  Remember that ''most weight loss struggles happen between the ears''.  The liar in the mirror is a root cause for that.  There is great news though-- you CAN CHANGE!  Will it be hard?  Maybe.  But you can change.  When you look in the mirror and you hear that negative voice, talk back to it. Tell it that you can and will change.  Tell that voice you are saying goodbye to your old, destructive habits and saying hello to new, healthy habits.

I still face this lying voice on an almost daily basis.  I am currently over a year into maintenance of having lost a fair amount of weight.  To this day, I still hear in my head that I can’t do it.  I’m going to fail.  I’m going to gain it all back.  I honestly have no idea where this comes from since my confidence is higher than it has been in years.  I overcome those thoughts the best I can and just tell the liar in the mirror that I have changed, and I will maintain!

The second line of the song that struck a chord with me was: ''To the guilt that's sittin' on your shoulder, always keepin' you locked in chains.'' Guilt?  What guilt?  I don’t have any guilt.  Why does this line not sit well with me?, I thought at first.  As in most cases, the fact that I felt defensive told me that I actually do have lots of things in my life that I feel guilty for and I’m the type of person who harbors and nurtures that guilt for a very long time. I don’t know why.  It’s just what I do.  Or maybe I should say that’s what I used to do.  I am learning to let it go, slowly.  The biggest thing I have guilt about right now is that I feel like I have cheated my wife and daughters out of numerous years of life.  Sleeping in my chair, not having any energy to play with my daughters, not helping with the household chores-- these are all things that I still feel guilty about.  I don’t know if it’s possible to make it up to my family, but I am trying my best.  So, to the guilt that all of us are carrying around, say goodbye.  Release the chains of bondage and say goodbye.

The last line of the song that stuck with me says: ''To the past that you can’t undo.''  Did you read those words clearly?  To the past that you can’t undo.  This is something that can hinder your journey greatly; trust me, I’ve been there.  What you did yesterday cannot be undone, period.  If you hold on to that and stress about it, guess what?  Your new life will be hindered.  When you screw up, learn from it and then say good bye.  You can’t change it in most cases so why hold onto it?  Why put yourself in that bondage?

This song, ''Say Goodbye,'' can play a major role in your journey, just as it has in mine. In many cases, the easy part is simply saying goodbye to the foods that don't nourish you.  If you take a long, hard look at your habits as they relate to the lyrics of this song, you will probably see a theme.  You will likely find that the liar in the mirror, the chains of bondage, and the past are all root causes of any issue you might be having on your journey.  Stressing about something that happened yesterday, last week, or last month can cause you to turn to food.  Say goodbye to the past, say goodbye to those things that you cannot change. What good are those things doing you today? 

I’d like to encourage you to write down these lyrics to help you during your weight loss journey.  Blog about them, or put them on your mirror.  I challenge you to look hard at these lines and say goodbye to whatever it is that you need to say goodbye to. You might be surprised at what you gain in the long run.

What things in your life are you willing to say goodbye to in order to help you meet your goals?

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  • 61
    Thanks!! Very well written and hits the nail on the head for me as it does for countless others, judging by the comments you've received. I don't know the song but am going to You Tube it right now as it sounds very inspiring.... thanks for sharing your thoughts and being a role model. You have much to be proud of!! - 1/11/2013   10:12:37 AM
  • 60
    Thanks!! Very well written and hits the nail on the head for me as it does for countless others, judging by the comments you've received. I don't know the song but am going to You Tube it right now as it sounds very inspiring.... thanks for sharing your thoughts and being a role model. You have much to be proud of!! - 1/11/2013   10:12:35 AM
  • 59
    Very thought-ful article. Thank you for taking the time to craft it. - 11/10/2012   9:07:41 AM
  • 58
    This was a great read. For starters, saying goodbye to self conscientiousness, negative thoughts and fears. - 4/13/2012   7:25:21 AM
  • 57
    nice article....and so true. I am working on letting go of my abusive childhood so I don't eat and live from my wounds. - 3/14/2012   6:05:55 PM
  • 56
    Reading this blog made me actually get up and start my journey today. I've been a member of SparkPeople since January but I've only been earning points by reading articles, logging in and taking quizzes. I am proud to say that I just finished my first 25 minute workout ever. Thank you so much for truly sparking me into action. - 2/26/2012   5:52:10 PM
  • 55
    I would really like to say goodbye to my fears, and to my tendency to see the negative instead of the positive. I'm working on it! - 2/20/2012   2:25:53 PM
    Just listened to the song. - 2/19/2012   9:34:03 AM
  • 53
    wow!! Your blog truly struck a chord with me... I'm in tears halfway through. Thanks for the inspiration and for sharing your struggles. I'm going to download that song. - 2/19/2012   7:37:51 AM
    Great blog. I was on the treadmill last night and the song from Jeremy Camp "Overcome" was on. I can and will overcome with God's help. - 2/17/2012   8:50:47 AM
  • 51
    Great blog. Loved it! - 2/16/2012   11:25:26 AM
  • 50
    Excellent!!!! I think most of us learn guilt at an early age and it continues on forever. I'm trying real hard not to feel guilty even if I don't make the best choice when eating. We tell our daughter not to look back at yesterday because it can't be changed but to look ahead and use what was learned. - 2/16/2012   10:08:48 AM
  • 49
    I had a very similar epiphany quite a few months ago when I heard Mandisa's song "Waiting For Tomorrow" for the first time! It spoke to my reason for first starting my quest towards health - I was tired of being a spectator on sidelines of my own life, and not being able to do the things my husband and kids were doing.
    "'Cause you've made me for so much more than
    Sittin' on the side lines
    I don't wanna look back and wonder
    If good enough could've been better
    Everyday's a day to start over
    So, why am I waiting for tomorrow?" - 2/16/2012   8:53:13 AM
  • 48
    Right on the money, thank you. - 2/15/2012   9:16:16 PM
    Bless you, bless you, bless you, and thanks a million. - 2/15/2012   4:01:04 PM
  • 46
    Thank you for sharing. This has been motivational to a lot of people. No matter where they are in their journey. - 2/15/2012   2:52:20 PM
  • 45
    I have not been listening to music during my workouts, but this blog might inspire me to start. A very insightful person. Thnak you. - 2/15/2012   12:15:24 PM
  • 44
    Right on target Jerome! I am so glad to have you for my SparkLeader!! - 2/14/2012   11:13:42 PM
  • 43
    This is a great blog. I cried while I was reading it, because I've been through all these emotions. Letting go of the old me, saying goodbye to the guilt about being a fat girlfriend, bride, and mom. It's always good to know you're not the only one feeling these things as you're going through this journey. Thank you! - 2/14/2012   5:52:31 PM
    Thank you for your inspirational blog. It really hit home for me. Saying "goodbye" does not have to be painful when I think of the "healthy me" I have to gain. - 2/14/2012   4:15:43 PM
  • 41
    Mine is that negative voice....I keep fighting her on a daily basis. Thanks for the encouragement in this blog. - 2/14/2012   3:11:28 PM
  • 40
    Guilt is a big one for me! I'm willing to say "good-bye" to guilt! - 2/14/2012   2:22:20 PM
  • JULIA1154
    This is a keeper. Thank you!! - 2/14/2012   2:11:39 PM
  • 38
    Awesome blog. Thanks for writing about your thoughts so eloquently! - 2/14/2012   1:00:23 PM
  • 37
    FANTASTIC BLOG Jerome!!! Way to go - and I really did need to read this last night! Very encouraging and a wonderful reminder. - 2/14/2012   12:58:43 PM
  • 36
    I'm loving all these comments that ya'll reall 'needed' this today. That's awesome. - 2/14/2012   12:37:54 PM
  • 35
    Wow, powerful stuff. I've been struggling with past guilt a lot lately, and I think this is just what I needed!! - 2/14/2012   12:31:48 PM
    For the first time I feel that i've made a life change rather than just wanting to lose weight for the summer. I can't imagine me ever stopping all that i'm doing now. - 2/14/2012   12:19:23 PM
  • 33
    Great timing on your blog. It's something that I needed to hear right now. That song will be the next thing I download.
    Thank you for sharing. May your journey bring you ever forward!! - 2/14/2012   12:14:40 PM
  • 32
    Great blog Jerome! Some real deep thinking there. I needed that one! Thanks - 2/14/2012   12:14:12 PM
  • 31
    Great song! So glad I read this blog! - 2/14/2012   12:02:26 PM
  • 30
    I feel the same way about many of the lyrics in Matchbox 20's, "Let's see how far we've come". - 2/14/2012   11:44:57 AM
  • 29
    Fantastic, Thank you Jerome. - 2/14/2012   10:52:29 AM
  • 28
    Thanks for the article. I fight with that little voice all the time and don't get me started on the guilt thing! - 2/14/2012   10:18:15 AM
  • 27
    You certainly have a way with words.....thanks for the inspiration!!
    You have made a difference in my life today. - 2/14/2012   9:56:54 AM
  • 26
    Totally RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME!! :) I say good bye to analysis paralysis!! And just go do what I need to do! - 2/14/2012   9:33:23 AM
    Say good-bye to creamy pastas that don't provide comfort. - 2/14/2012   9:16:29 AM
  • 24
    Very insightful blog! Bless you for sharing. - 2/14/2012   8:55:02 AM
  • 23
    Looking the song up now. Thanks. - 2/14/2012   8:46:42 AM
  • 22
    Wow did I need to read that, Thank you JMAN this has hit home
    - 2/14/2012   7:56:14 AM
  • 21
    Wow! I am printing those lyrics today. - 2/14/2012   7:51:55 AM
  • 20
    Wow Jerome - this is a powerful blog. I will be sharing this one for sure.
    Judi - 2/14/2012   7:35:27 AM
  • NAYNAY69
    Wonderful timing and true to the core...thank you. It's words we all know but need to hear again and sometimes again...

    NayNay - 2/14/2012   7:29:48 AM
    Wow, you must have read my mind. I had one of those nights where I was discouraged about my lack of change, feeling really guilty, and literally on the verge of tears about my disappointment in my weight loss journey. Today, I'm choosing to brush off the dust from yesterday's failures and marching on. Incredible article and incredible timing! Thanks. - 2/14/2012   6:36:00 AM
  • 17
    The words hit home. I will say goodbye :) - 2/14/2012   6:31:14 AM
  • 16
    I love Mandisa anyway but haven't listened to this song...awesome! - 2/14/2012   6:27:23 AM
    Thank you! This was awesome & inspiring. Have a great week! - 2/14/2012   6:26:09 AM
  • 14
    I will Definitely listen to it today. Excellent. thank you! - 2/14/2012   5:42:19 AM
  • 123ELAINE456
    Awesome Blog. Very inspiring God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. Thank You Very Much. - 2/14/2012   5:32:28 AM
  • 12
    Thanks for sharing! The words hit home for me. - 2/14/2012   4:49:29 AM

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