Confession: This is How Much I Weigh

By , SparkPeople Blogger
What I’m about to share is something that many women (and men) feel ashamed, embarrassed and downright scared of exposing to others. I’m about to tell everyone exactly how much I weigh.

I haven’t weighed myself in years, but I always have some idea of what the number is. As a kid and teen, I was a hardcore athlete, training year-round for four different sports and practicing for hours a day. I started lifting weights at age 14, and have never feared muscle—I’ve always wanted to be strong. I’m taller than average (at 5’8”) and I’ve always weighed more than my friends, but even then I never saw myself as fat and never “dieted” even though all my teenage friends (who were already skinny) did. To me, muscle made me a better athlete and food gave me the fuel I needed, so I wasn’t going to skimp on either.

I recently explained how I don’t weigh myself, and that’s true. As a fitness professional, I know that weight is simply a number on the scale. It doesn’t tell you how fit you are, how much muscle you have, how much fat you have, or even if you’re truly overweight (or not). Yet we give so much credence to the scale, allowing it to influence how we feel about our bodies, how high our self-esteem will be that day, and whether we need to change our bodies. I’m not immune to that myself. Part of the reason I don’t weigh myself is because, even though my weight is healthy for my height, even though I’m fit and strong, and even though I feel somewhat confident about how my body looks, I feel bad about myself as soon as I see the number on the scale. So, I just avoid it! I pay attention to how I look and how my clothes fit, and if those things change for the worse, then I know I should make changes. This is what works for me and helps me to focus on what matters (and away from what doesn’t).

So how much do I weigh? Between 150 and 155 pounds (152 according to my weigh-in last week).

What do I think about it? Well, I’ve always weighed a lot—in high school, I was a svelte 148-pound athlete, when my teammates weighed about 120 pounds. I like to think I weigh more than expected because I’ve always lifted weights. Or maybe it’s because I’m taller. Or really, who knows. When I do (rarely) weigh myself, I instantly feel bad and wish I weighed less (hence the reason for the rare weigh-ins). But why? I don’t think I need to lose weight until I actually weigh myself. Unrealistic or not, I think every woman has “that number” in her head, for how much she’d like to weigh to really be happy. But I choose to ignore my head (after all, our minds can make us crazy sometimes!) and focus on what I do know to be true: That I won’t let society’s standards of beauty tell me that I should change my body, feel inadequate or look like someone I’m not.

I think it’s common for people to think they should be near the bottom of the healthy weight range for their height—I feel that way sometimes, too. But keep in mind that there’s no reason that you shouldn’t be at the top of your range, like I am. Just because there’s a range does not mean that you should be at the bottom of it. Many people try to diet or exercise their way to the bottom, even if it’s unhealthy or unrealistic in some cases.

I’m not exactly ashamed of my weight, but I think we can agree that people judge others for things like this, and the last thing I’d want is to be judged as less informed or less knowledgeable about exercise, fitness or weight control—the fields in which I work. I didn’t make this post to get any kind of reassurance or compliments from others. Rather, I decided to make this post because I want women to stop being ashamed of how much they weigh. I think we should all stop feeling inadequate, or like we need to be a certain size or weight to be happy, liked, attractive or good enough. And we should stop giving the scale more power than it really has—after all, weight is a number like age. It is what it is, but only means so much.

What do you think? Do you feel confident enough to tell others how much you weigh, how you honestly feel about your weight, and what you wish the scale would say? Does the scale make you feel bad about yourself?

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Thank you! It makes me feel better to know that even the athlete can have issues with the scale. I am also trying to keep in mind that the scale is only a piece of the picture not the whole story. Report
I have an issue with the scale. I need to try and stay off of it. I get stuck on a number. I give myself a 5lb window. However, it is so easy for me to weigh myself everyday as I walk by a scale daily. I stand in front of the door where it is daily. I know that I should just gauge by how my clothing fits. Report
This is actually something I'm researching right now... I just had my 50th birthday, and I am a part of a Spark Team (Fit by Fifty). So my question is: What does "fit" at 50 look like for me???
My BMI is "healthy". But when calipers are used, my body fat is still 1-2% pts higher than "fitness" indicates. In otherwords, I've been told that 24% is my top limit, and I read 25-26%. That indicates I need to drop 5 more FAT lbs (not lean muscle, tissue, water, etc.).

I've never been strong per se, so the typical fitness tests (push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, etc are not really good tests for me--back issues & a bulging disk mess w/ sit-ups & stretch/reach).
I can walk 10 miles at a reasonable rate (min. 15 min mile), but I have been advised NOT to run.

I have included ST as part of my fitness routine (1-3 days per wk) for the past 15 months, so I am stronger than I used to be. And I work at HIIT w/ my cardio exercise 4-5 days per week (30+ min each).

My question remains: Am I fit??
I'm not "fat", but I would like to drop the last 10 "extra" pounds. I have NOT gained weight in the past year & a half, and I consider that to be a good thing!
...I will continue to work at health & fitness in a way that benefits me for the long run! Report
Thank you for your blog. I soooo relate to it! Even when people tell me I look lean and fit and I'm wearing size 8 jeans I feel my weight is too much. I'm 5' 8", right in the middle of the healthy BMI range... and at a scale weight that sounds "too much". Fortunately, I am learning not to listen to all the voices in my brain. Your blog helped. Report
For your height, your weight is probably fine! I am 5'10" and currently weigh 196...down from 233 (and I think that at one point I may have been as high as 245) My goal weight is 165, which I have not weighed for MANY years, and when I get there I will see how I feel, if I can maintain or feel like going lower. But I know how you HS I was one of only a few tall girls and felt like I weighed so much more than my friends. Report
I am 5'9". In highschool and college I weighed 150. During that time, I always thought I was fat because all my friends were far more petite than I was. Now, after quitting smoking 17 years ago and having two children, I weigh 215 (down 12 lbs from start of my journey). When I reflect on what I weighed when I was younger, I have to say "What was I thinking?" There is no way I was fat, quite the opposite to be sure!

These days, my goal is to weigh 155. That may change as the weight comes off as I am working out (which I never did when I was thin), so I may need to adjust that number. I am trying to be more in tune with how I feel and look rather than what I weigh.

Thanks for sharing! Report
I never look at the body mass idex...its garbage and out dated.
A 200lb 5'8" women that has 12% body fat and traines daily for a body building compition is NOT overweight or unhealthy..and a 145lb 5'8" women that has 20% body fat and is a couch potato who cant even climb 4 flights of stairs is NOT healthy or ideal weight.
I focus my energy on the way my body feels and my clothes fit rather than on the number on the scale. When working out I always seem to put on a few pounds (muscle) which has in the past led to self sabatoge. Now I don't mind what the number is if I can easily fit into my "man I look good in these" jeans! Report
My life used to ruled by the number on the more. Now it's just a number. I do weigh everyday, it helps me to be accountable to myself. I have no problem telling people what I weigh now (144) or used to weigh (261.5). When I weighed 261 I would never tell anyone and on one asked. I am surprised how many people now ask my weight and size and think nothing of it....... Report
I've lost just shy of 100 pounds over the last year. I am 5'7" and now wear a size 4 or 6 (depending on the brand). When I started, a size 20 was very tight. The few people I have told what I actually weigh now (162) -- and what I weighed when I started (260) -- are stunned.

Now, looking above at the other comments it just doesn't seem possible that I can fit into a size 4 skirt (Brooks Brothers) and an XS top (Banana Republic) and weigh 162, but that's precisely what I'm wearing right now as I type this, and both are maybe even a little loose. (A size 6 Anne Taylor suit I just bought in June was a little large when I wore it to a client meeting last week.) I do lift weights, but that doesn't seem to quite cover it. Can't explain it, but it has certainly made me re-think my goal weight -- which I had thought would be about 140 (around the middle of my BMI range). But now that I see what 162 looks like, I think losing 22 pounds from here would probably be way too much. However, I'm still about 3 pounds into the "overweight" BMI range! My doctors (I am enrolled in a medically supervised obesity management program) have alerady told me that to ignore the BMI (it is just a rule of thumb), and that no further weight loss is needed for my health at this point -- although it's fine if I want to lose a few more pounds for my own reasons. (They are actively discouraging me from trying to go all the way to my original "goal" of 140 -- which was really a number we picked out of the air when I started.) What I've done is sort of a compromise -- I've stopped the agressive weight loss program, but am still doing very mild calorie restriction (enough to lose 2-3 pounds a month), and keeping up with the increased exercise. It's not so different from what I'll have to do for maintenance, so it's good practice, and I hope it will be easier to figure out what I can live with. I suspect it will not go too much lower before I decide I am getting too thin (scale number not withstanding).

Anyway, your post really resonated with me because it really is hard for me to "let go" of the idea of having a low scale number. Not sure why, since no one really knows what it is unless I tell them! But my doctors tell me that this is pretty common for those with big weight losses -- particularly those who took care to preserve their lean tissue by getting enough protein and strength training. Don't know why it's so hard to convince myself that all that lean tissue is a good thing, and I should consider myself lucky that I can be "small" and have still a lot of lean muscle and bone mass! Report
I understand. I am not even 5'2" and weigh 160 right now. I don't look bad. My goal is about 135-140. I was very slim at that weight. When I was younger, every time someone put me on one of those scales with the balance weights, they always set them too low and expressed shock at what I weighed. Didn't bother me, I kind of thought it was cool, because I knew I wasn't fat at all. Report
I totally agree! I am unable to tell anyone what I weigh because I don't look the weight I do carry. I'm afraid to burst the illusion that I am less than what I am. Report
I find that I am more willing to tell people how much I weigh as I am losing weight. It's not so bad to admit that I used to be 190 lbs now that I am down to 168. I am able to focus on my progress and just enjoy when people say "You were really 190 lbs? I never would've guessed that". And I'm sure as I start meeting my goal weights, I will be even more willing to tell people. Report
It kind of bugs me when people say "I am 200 lbs" or "I am 125 lbs"... You are not that number! That number just measures something about your body. Do not let that number define you. Report
Nicole, you are awesome! Thank you so much for posting this. Report
I use to have A physical trainer who would look at my weight but looked more carefuly at my measurements. Sometimes I would lose inches but my weight was moving really slow. He explained muscle weighs more than fat so that can slow down your weight loss but you are still slimming down. Report
According to the chart I am at the highest weight for my height. I do think it is too much. Do I freely share my weight? Not in public, but in SparkPeople I feel comfortable confiding in friends. Report
I am not up front with anyone about my exact weight. only my dr knows what it is. Report
I'm honest about my weight with anyone who asks. I know the weight at which I begin to feel unhealthy and that is what I call my "uh oh" weight. My weight is below that because I've worked to make healthy habits and gain strength. Report
Thank you for addressing the issue of healthy weight for height, and body frame! I have struggled with the notion that being just under 4'11 meant I needed to weigh 100 lbs. The fact is I have a large frame and am very muscular, so my ideal weight is very different. A few years back, at my healthiest, I went for a fitness test that included using electrode testing of body fat percentage. Even though I weighed 133 lbs, my body fat was within the healthy range and I was wearing a size 4. Everyone's body is different and won't always fit the mold of the typical "Ideal!" Now I'm at 150 and want to get back to 130 again, working hard towards that goal. Report
I don't give out my weight for a different reason than shame. I realize that we all have different goals, heights, weights, etc... My current weight (at 5'1" needing to lose 25-30 lbs to get to a healthy BMI) may actually be someone's goal weight! I think it's better to focus on our similar GOALS and not a number on a scale. So regardless of if you are trying to lose 30 pounds to get to a healthy BMI like me or if your goal is to lose 30 pounds to get under 300 for the first time since high school - we are all fighting this battle together! :) Report
This was really helpful. I used both measurement methods to determine my frame size. My original goal weight is toward the top of the range for someone of my height with a small frame. I was actually thinking about moving my goal of 130 down to 125, but I'm going to leave it alone and see how I look and feel as I approach 130. Report
According to that chart, I need to be a lot taller. Report
Thank you for writing this! For me, ďthe numberĒ problem has led to yo-yo dieting.

I weigh myself like crazy when I'm losing weight. I'm happy when the pounds are down and bummed out when they don't seem to be budging.

Then, after I hit "that number" I stop eating healthy food and I stop working out. At that point, I use the scale in reverse. If my clothes are a little tighter, I get in the scale and think "oh, it's only a pound (or two).Ē Unfortunately, that pound (or two) isn't the real reflection of what's going on. Because muscle weighs more than fat, I have a false sense of security that my old ways (fast food and less activity) aren't affecting me anymore.

Then it happens . . . the inevitable . . . suddenly I can't fit it to most of my clothes. My weight is back. And, I keep thinking "Scale: why didn't you warn me sooner?"

I need to stop feeling bad when the scale says a number I don't want it to say (on the way down) and I need to stop using it as confirmation that my unhealthy ways arenít affecting me (on the way back up).

After reading your blog, Iím going celebrate the days that the scale goes down and, if it doesnít, Iím going to measure myself. Once I get back into my favorite clothes, Iím going to use them as my guide instead of the scale.

Thank you!
Thank you so much for writing this!

I'm 5'7" and when I am healthiest and slimmest I weigh 150-160 Ibs. When I was 14 years old, that number convinced me that I was fat, because all my friends were 120 or 130, even though I proportionally looked about the same as them. It took me years to recognize that this wasn't the case, and I have been trying to explain it to others for the longest time - that some people are just heavier or lighter than others and it doesn't necessarily reflect "fatness."

So thank you! Finally I feel validated, and I have a fitness professional and an article to point people towards to back me up! Report
i weigh more than i should to be healthy but people are always surprised when i tell them just how much i weigh. at 5' 2.5" and 151-153 pounds, i hide it pretty well. because of this i don't like telling my weight only because i don't FEEL like i weigh that. that doesn't mean i'm going to stop losing weight, i know where i need to be for health but i'm not going to strive to reach the bottom of my weight range, which is 118. i know what clothes i want to fit back into and i know what i want my body to look like. i will still use to scale for now but this article has helped me understand that i should put less stock in the number on a scale. thank you coach nicole!!!! Report
As a man, my weight isn't as big a deal as it seems to be for most women.
Having been in Sparkpeople for more than a year, I have met and exceeded my goals. To me my weight is an indicator of my health and fitness. Report
Nicole - I just have to say this - you ROCK!

You offer an amazing perspective to the idea of what is healthy, beautiful, and fit. I see you as a great example of all three of those but your confession about how you struggle with the 'numbers', with bathing suits, and with other body image issues, is really helping me to learn to love myself - all 224 pounds of me.

After a 'chubby' adolescence, I weighed 130 in my early 20s and felt huge. I am tall and will always have large hips, a big chest and broad shoulders so compared to my skinny friends, I WAS an Amazon. Looking a pictures from that era, I looked sickly and underweight. Mentally, I'm in a much better place than I was then . . . now, I'm ready to be HEALTHY and FIT and to love myself during the process.

Thanks for your courage and inspiration.

I love this topic. Well, not exactly love. I am 5'9 and have always been very self conscious about the number on the scale. When you are taller and athletic, the number is bound to be bigger. Such a relief to see that I am not the only one who doesn't like those bigger numbers. I weigh 185 # AND WEAR A SIZE 14. Wasn't Venus de Milo a perfect size 14, or was that Marilyn Monroe? Anyway, I love to exercise and have always been pretty fit. I tore my ACL in January and have had to deal with a limited range of motion. I joined spark and WW around mid Feb because I was afraid with my lack of activity, my potential to go over 200 pounds was very real. Since then I have stopped the evening wine and started counting points. Love these pages of encouragement. I have always been very comfortable in a bathing suit (a 2 piece), but it's hard to wrap my head around the number. My goal is to be at the top of my weight range, which is 169, and have a BMI less than 25. The scale doesn't lie, but I am also learning that it is not the only indicator. It's just a number, just like my age, which really snuck up on me, as I just turned 50. Slow metabolism, hypothroid, and a bum knee. Just started adding biking now that I can get the leg to move better, but have consistently lifted weights thru out my injury. Don't forget about the waist hip ratio either. There are many indicators beside the scale. now I just need to not focus so much on that number that drives me nuts. Report
I weigh 260 pounds at the current moment and I'm only 5'5" tall. So I am morbidly obese and although it definitely doesn't make me happy to see that number I can honestly say that I don't feel bad about. I made the choices that got me here so I'm just going to have to deal with the fatty consequences. I would like to be between 125 to 135 pounds. A healthy weight for my height so that I can keep up with the kids and show them that even when things seem stacked against you, you can still over come the odds if you just try hard enough. Report
The only time I had issues with talking about weight was once I hit the 300 lbs mark then I had a problem. I have a best friend and she has always weighed more then me so my ego was okay. I hit 346 and she had been dieting and we weighed about the same want to talk about the tears that night. I am 5'10" and now I am at 310 she is still smaller but I am catching up. I just wish I could see her more often so we could work out together. We gained weight together it would be great to lose it together also. Report
I currently weigh 135. It doesn't bother me to say those words. I don't often reveal personal information where it is not necessary. The only numbers/info I don't feel comfortable speaking in public is my phone number and email address. I am actually more protective of my email address that the phone number. Report
I was about 160 to 170 in high school...was fairly athletic...though wasn't in sports...I was 146 when I got pregnant at 18....I was homeless so not much to eat back then....and lotsa walking...After I had my daughter I went back to 175 then met my husband and over the last 5 years I just let myself go and got all the way to 222...but I'm sure I weighed more, just never looked....I'm 5'8" as well and big boned..I have a friend from HS who is 5'11" and she wants to weigh about 130!! She is 150 now....I can't imagine being back to 146...I looked an anorexic.....My goal is 160, but I am so close now that I am thinking 150 to 155...anything under 200 I am greatful for though.....

I was never afraid of telling others how much I weigh...or weighed....and now I am just short of running down the street shouting "I'VE LOST 48 POUNDS!! WOO HOO!!!" lol...I might be crazy, but I'm not that am just so proud of myself for overcoming soooooo much drama in my life and being able to lose this weight and making a healthy me again! Report
I've never been ashamed of telling anyone how much I weigh (195.6) or my age (51). Both are facts: one I can change (and I am) the other one I can't. The one I am changing will make the other one a lot more pleasureable for me and everyone that knows me. Report
I do feel bad about my weight and cannot tell people about it. I have lost 30 pounds with more to go. I exercise 4-5 times a week so this is a big positive. Someday I may want to say my weight, but when I'm slimmer. Report
I really liked this article. I am a recovering anorexic, and it just reminds me that 1.) I don't need to be at the bottom of my weight range to be healthy or fit, and 2.) You can still look great in the middle or the top of your weight range. I am 5' 6" and I slipped down to 90 pounds. I am now in recovery and currently weigh about 125. Things are tough, but when I see or hear about people who look great and they're near the top of their weight range, it definitely helps me out. :) Report
193 Sunday, got ready to do my Wii Fit, and weighed in at 191.3..much to my surprise. I am trying, and even this small weight loss has given me a pat on the back, to just keep going...1 little accomplishment at a time (even if it's 1.7lbs...but that was in one day) keep motivated! Report
I used to think that at 5'9" I was "fat" at 165 lbs, the upper end of my BMI. Now I weigh 100 lbs more than that- I wish I hadn't wasted all that time and energy when I was younger feeling "fat". To top it off, I have lost about an inch in height due to degenerative disc disease. If I can get down to under 200 lbs, I will feel that I've accomplished something. Report
I usually don't announce my weight anyone but my DH and my daughter. I weigh weekly to keep from getting discouraged by small daily blips. I can also tell by how my clothes fit if I'm making progress. Report
I read all the comments about weight charts and BMI. At 5'3" and 202 pounds I want to lose weight for me. I want to feel better both physically and especially emotionally. I won't let people take pictures of me and I won't (unless absolutely necessary) go out to public functions. I want to be able to travel and meet people without feeling like crawling into a hole. By the way, I also am addicted to Coke, but I limit myself to 2 per day and always with lunch. I'm looking forward to that. Report
I weigh 235.2lbs. Guess what. I'm not ashamed to tell it, because I'm taking the steps I need to in order to change that. For myself there is no point in taking the time to say how did I get here? Why did I let this happen? Point blank, I did let it happen and the question I now ask myself everyday is this:What changes am I willing to make today in order to get the results that I need for MY better tomorrow? Report
Im only 5'4 and would love to be 150-155 lbs. Report
I have just started with SparkPeople after many years of up and down weight and a 3 time offender with a popular weight loss system. I have always weighed more than all my friends, except when I was watching every morsel that went into my mouth, walking every day, and generally paying more attention to the scale than to a happy lifestyle. I was a size 12 then, now I'm a 20. I'm not comfortable now, but then again, I wasn't really comfortable at a 12. I'm comfortable when I can sit on the floor and play with my grandchildren, bend over and tie my shoes, and walk more than around in the house. SO-here goes-I've never done this just to be healthly. Always only to loose weight, so this is a new experience! Report
Welp, I am 21 years old (22 in March) and around this time my senior year in high school, (I am not a senior in college) I was 123 lbs and had weighed that much for years. After I went off to college...I stayed 123, no freshman 15....until sophmore year when my parents divorced...I am now 175 lbs and NOT happy about it. However, looking back at pictures I realized that I looked SICKLY and this has been beneficial because I have decided that my goal weight is 135-140lbs. I never want to be that tiny again and in all honesty, as long as I'm healthy, I cannot complain. Report
I have lost 170 pounds! For years I tormented myself by weighing in and then let the number on the scale dictate how I would feel about myself. I literally wasted years fixated on the number on the scale...proof that I was a failure. In 1998 I began my journey to taking control of my life and my health. I went to a group that weighed you weekly. Going from daily to weekly helped me with my number fixation. I have since made health a priority, I know that if I am doing what I know is good for my mental, physical and spiritual health that I will reap the benefits. I don't need a scale to tell me that I am on track with my personal plan. The best thing I did was to love myself unconditionally and to realize no matter what I weighed that I am here on earth to make a difference. I am a person of value regardless of what I weigh!! Report
I sometimes wish the scale would give me the number I need. I haven't told anyone about my weight and would feel a little uncomfortable doing so. I'm not comfortable about my weight, but dealing with it. Report
I hate the scale. It makes me wanna cry every week that I have to step on it. Report
I'm 5'9 189. In HS (11 yrs ago) I weighed 179. After college I was able to get down to 156 (19%bf). I worked in the fitness field as well at that time. The weight ranges for my height have varied and I know i will never be at the low end of that range b/c I just don't feel the need to be that little. At 156 i was a size 8 and at 179 I was a 12/14. And I'm fine with that. Report
In HS i weighed 120...Now after 10 years and one child, I weigh 226. I am more motivated now than i ever have been! My goal is to get down to 140 for me :) Good Luck to everyone on their journey! Report
Great blog - thank you. My mental/emotional state is ridiculously tied to the scale. Yes, I have some weight to lose, scale or no scale, and regardless of the fact that I am within the "healthy range", but I don't need to let the scale get me down every day. It stops me from having a positive focus to getting healthier. Report
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