Just remember what your mama always told you: If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.
That's the consensus of expectant mothers surveyed recently on BabyFit.com about the comments they've endured during their pregnancy.
"Do not tell a pregnant woman that she looks like h*ll. Do not tell a pregnant woman that you loved being pregnant, that you were never sick, or that it didn't hurt... Do not tell a pregnant woman that there must be something wrong with her baby because she hasn't gained as much weight as her co-workers who are also pregnant," says BabyFit member LauraIP, due in mid-May.
Most of all, she adds, "Do not tell a pregnant woman that because she hates being pregnant, she must therefore hate her baby."
Other moms-to-be agree.
"You already feel so unattractive-- your legs are fat and swollen, and you feel so roly-poly. Your organs are squished together. The last thing you need to hear is some rude remark that makes you feel worse," according to Tami, a Cincinnati mom in her ninth month of pregnancy.
Tami, already a mom to two daughters and a son, was amazed at some of the remarks made to her this time around.
"Things like 'Man, you're getting huge!' or 'Boy, your belly's getting fat.' I wanted to yell-- 'I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!'"
Most surprising to her was the fact that many of the rudest remarks come from women who themselves have given birth-- women she expected to be sympathetic to her condition-- some of whom attend her church.
"I always think it's nice because when other women have been through it, they're nicer to you. I think we women have to stick together. But some of the things some women have said to me--! I honestly think most people mean well, but some of them are downright vicious."
BabyFit member TMallett has had similar experiences: "I was about 5 months pregnant with my first when I frequented a farmer's market. The gal selling me a tomato plant was a size 2 or something outrageous like that. She was informed of my pregnancy, and gasped and said, 'My god, are you sure you aren't having quintuplets?' I gazed at her long and hard and said 'I'm sure!' She quizzically looked at me and said, 'Wow! Were you fat before you were pregnant?' Immediately I handed her back her plant and told her thank you for the lovely comments and I hope the next time she stuck her finger down her throat to stay skinny, she thought about how ugly she was on the inside.
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