My boyfriend thinks I have the perfect body. He even loves the parts that I consider my "problem areas." He tries to tell me that my own insecurities are meritless and that I have no reason to feel bad about the way I look. Not only that, but he says he has never noticed my cellulite (but trust me, it does exist). Sometimes I think that men are more likely to see the bigger picture when it comes to a woman's body. In my experience, they're less likely to notice the "details" (like a few dimples or stretch marks) and more likely to appreciate a woman's body for its overall shape or size—how it looks as a total package, not piece by piece (the way we often scrutinize ourselves). But women? We notice. We zero-in on the imperfections. We notice the extra layer of fat on the stomach or that lower belly pooch. We compare our bodies to other women's, whether we think theirs are better, worse or the same as ours. Lately, I've been thinking that some of my own body-image insecurities come not from what other men might think of me—but from what women think. All those details that we see. All the mental comparisons we make, sizing each other up. This led me to wonder: Do you think women are more critical of other women's bodies than men are? Personally, I do think women can be more judgmental and harsh about how other women look. We might not always come out and say what we think, but the fact remains that we probably still think it. To be honest, it bothers me that my brain takes notice of such trivial things. I wouldn't say that I judge other women based on their body imperfections (or perfections), but honestly, I do notice them a lot of the time. The parts that I feel most self-conscious about, like my belly or thighs, are what I tend to notice about other women. Raise your hand if you often compare your body to the bodies of other women you see at the pool, in the locker room, at the mall—anywhere really—sizing them up, wondering Is she bigger than me? Is that what my thighs look like? I do it sometimes, too, but it's something I have been trying to do less often. I've discovered that the more I compare my shape, size or weight to others, the worse I feel about myself. Could it be that many women's insecurities or body-image issues stem more from what other women think of us than what men think? I think so. Why else would so many of us feel uncomfortable changing in the locker room where men aren't even present? What do you think? Ladies, do you think women are more critical of other women's bodies than men are? Why or why not? Men, are you more critical of other men's bodies than you are of women's or does it not matter to you?  You will earn 5 SparkPoints
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Mostly what I notice, though, are either the really small women or really big women. I get a little jealous sometimes of the really petite ones (usually because I figure most of them never had to work for it), but I feel for the big women. I feel especially heartbroken when I see one walk out of Starbucks with a salad and a venti frappucino with whipped cream, and I wish I could hand her a card for Sparkpeople and ask her if she really realizes what she's about to put in her body (those salads set me back the equivalent of two meals, and I can't even imagine the frappucino). I feel like I can't do that, though, because how would I have felt if someone walked up to me, told me I was eating the wrong food, and then handed me a diet website? Report
I played a game the other day- looking through a magazine and I asked myself to find a picture of a girl that I would honestly want to look like. Honestly, I really didn't see one. I love the way I look. I want to lose weight- because I have a little too much in the tummy and hips- but you know what? I really do like the way I look. I just want to find the thinner me. Report
so that's one.
and another thing is that women are more socially effected than men. so they tend to compare and judge more. Report
Unfortunately,I do have a friend who can tear down a woman's clothing and looks faster than a wrecking ball can demolish a chicken coop and she does this almost constantly.I don't get it but i guess that's one of the reasons I stopped hanging with her after many years I just can't stand the negativity. Report
I'm also totally happy with my own body shape though - I am not critical of my body, and it doesn't faze me when my dad says my bum has got fatter. Perhaps if I were critical of my own body, I'd also be critical of other people's. But I only care from a health point of view. I don't care what men or women think of my body. It's irrelevant to me. Most women I know are critical of their bodies though, even when their bodies look great. Report
I don't know if women are more critical, or just differently critical. We've probably all overheard straight men claiming that some model or actress is "ugly," even though she's gorgeous and you know they would go out with her in a minute. They don't seem to connect that to the actual women in their lives, though -- even though those women don't fit the beauty ideal nearly as well as the actress they just called ugly. It's a strange thing. Report
Plus, the only reason that we have this stupid "ideal" in our heads is from the media. And I'm sick of buying into it. It means NOTHING. Report
Yes, count on it, women, and especially girls growing up, are more critical of each other.
In those early years, the girls whose bodies are early to develop are teased about it. Girls whose bodies develop later may be jealous or insecure because they're afraid their breasts won't be as generous as they hope. Some girls will be well-behaved, but it will only take one or two in a catty little clique to leave hurtful darts even in the hearts of bystanders. The remarks may confuse early development with too much weight or with bad judgment.
Cruel remarks coming out of adolescent insecurity may even be statements that the some girl has bad morals. Sometimes that will be based on what she is wearing. The judgments may be related to the particular religious beliefs of the unkind and insecure girl. The remarks may or may not have anything to do with actual good or bad judgment about sexual or other behavior that could be related to morality.
Think back to fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth grades. One catty mother's remark repeated by a daughter can hurt a lot of girls if nobody is providing a balanced view of life that says not to worry about how quickly or slowly your body is changing.
Life where sex education and health came from gym and fashion magazines was seriously bad news. I hope that today's girls are getting a better view. Report
I do this with strangers but among people I know, I see the person within first and their physcial being becomes less important to me. I have even had friends tell me they were hurt that I didn't notice their weight loss - but honestly, I didn't. Report
On the other hand, my hubby is very shallow and judgmental. He gives lots of reminders that I need to lose weight and when we're out dining, he will notice other women and point out "See, she's about your height. You should be built like her. And I know you can, honey! You just need to work out more!" To say his attitude is irritating is putting it mildly. :-( Report
I think my husband is pretty shallow actually. I have never been overweight, but before I joined sparkpeople I was at the tip top of my healthy weight range and very out of shape. My husband kept trying to politely encourage me to lose weight. I think being healthy is important, but he has been overweight as long as I've known him even hovering the line to obese. He hates to workout with me, and I was already cooking him healthy meals, so it isn't like my losing weight would benefit him in either of those ways. He is just shallow! I can't really blame him though as all of his friends have thin wives/girlfriends and are just as shallow as him. Hopefully, it is just an stage that all of these young men will grow out of, and I will happily be proven wrong :) Report