Health & Wellness Articles

Boost Your Body Image

Self-Love and Acceptance at Any Size

On a recent trip to California, I went on a hike in Runyon Canyon, a park near my daughter’s apartment.  During my climb, I overheard two women chatting behind me.  One was expressing concern regarding comments her teenage daughter had recently been making.  It seemed that she was miserable about her body, feeling ''fat'' and ''ugly'' compared with her other friends.  According to this woman, her daughter's weight was well within the healthy range, and she had ''quite a lovely figure.''
I hiked on and began thinking about body image.  Why is it that so many people in America suffer from such poor body image?  I have watched too many of my daughter’s friends struggle, have met way too many women my own age who still express body dissatisfaction, and have even come across it with male clients over the years.  These days, you can never be thin enough, muscular or toned enough, or beautiful enough.  The effort and energy many are exerting to look better is not only exhausting, but also severely decreasing their happiness and life-satisfaction.
Humans have been concerned with appearance and physical attractiveness throughout history. However, in these modern times, it seems as if normal concerns have turned into obsession for far too many.  In today's media, thin and attractive individuals are portrayed as being wealthier, happier, and more successful and carefree than those who are not thin. The way that we perceive our bodies is largely influenced by our perception of how we stack up against those media ideals, as well as against our peers. Poor body image not only decreases general life satisfaction and happiness, but it can also be potentially deadly if it spurs severe eating disorders or steroid use. Making a targeted effort to improve body image for ourselves and loved ones would be a smart, even life altering, thing to do.  But how?
The answer to this question goes way deeper than just working to improve your body to be the best it can be.  There’s nothing wrong with working to improve your body, especially when weight is compromising your health. These changes in lifestyle habits can be quite helpful, but only if accompanied by a mind-shift as well.
Let’s take a look at some ideas on how to boost body image, both for the short term and the long term.
Tips to boost your body image each day:
  • Find one thing to compliment yourself on every day.   Often, when people are asked to come up with something they like about themselves, they focus on physical attributes. However, try to think beyond your appearance, to your uniqueness as an individual.  Take pride in things such as being a dependable employee, a great mom, or a reliable and caring friend.
  • Wear clothing that fits well and makes you feel great. If you’re bothered by the size on the label, cut it out!  Dressing in baggy apparel in an attempt to hide your body will end up making you feel frumpy.  Wear whatever makes you feel pleased with your appearance when you look in the mirror.
  • Exercise.  Studies show when individuals begin an exercise plan, they report increases in confidence, self-esteem and a decrease in negative body image even when overweight or obese.
  • Nourish your body with foods that will keep it functioning well so that you can do the things you love to do.  Think healthy, not skinny!
  • Thank your body with some pampering for the great job it does carrying you through the myriad of tasks you do on a daily basis. Massages, scented body lotions, and warm baths will have your body and your mind feeling great. 
  • Every time you receive a compliment, write it down in a journal.  If you’re having a rough day, take your journal out and relive that warm, fuzzy feeling you got when you first received that compliment.
  • Don’t join in the complaint brigade.  When your friends start bemoaning their bodies (and you’ll surely hear it at some point) don’t commiserate and join in with mutual complaints and put-downs.  Find something about their personality to compliment, and genuinely share what you find best in them.
  • Stop negative self-talk immediately.  When you catch yourself slipping into negative self-talk (e.g. my thighs are so big, I hate my stomach, my nose is crooked and ugly, etc.) stop immediately.  Counter balance that thought with a loving one. Would you say such critical things to your best friend? Of course not! It’s time to become your own best friend and treat yourself with kindness and respect.
Tips to continue boosting your body image over time:
  • Experiment with mind-body exercises. Many people report that activities such as yoga, Tai Chi and dance make them feel more connected and loving toward their bodies. Try out some classes at your local gym or studio and find something that resonates with you.
  • Ask your friends and loved ones what they enjoy most about you.  I bet no one will mention anything related to your body-- just your personality and nature. How we behave and interact with others is what makes us who we are, not the shape of our bodies.  
  • Explore and appreciate your personal strengths.  We each have our own strengths and talents.  When we share them, we impact the lives of others and make the world a better place.  People don’t care what shape your body is in; they just appreciate the gifts you share. 
  • Take stock and marvel at what your body is capable of doing, no matter what size it is.  Write down all the things your body can do that bring you joy.  Your legs carry you from place to place and up and down stairs.  Your arms allow you to hug your loved ones or lift your child.  Your stomach digests the food you eat, and your eyes allow you to see the world around you. Cherish these things as often as you can and remind yourself how lucky you are to be alive. 
  • Who do you look up to, admire, or seek as role models?  Make a list of what it is about them you value.  I guarantee it’s what inside, not what you see on the outside.
  • Become media savvy.  Understand that the pictures of models seen in magazines and on billboards are extremely enhanced.  If you compare yourself to those images, you will always end up feeling bad.  Stop looking at fashion magazines if they bring up bad feelings and strive to only surround yourself with positive, realistic images.
  • Consider throwing the scale away.  If you find yourself stepping on and off the scale numerous times a day and letting it affect your mood, throw it out!  The number on the scale is fickle and can change drastically depending on your most recent meal, hydration, menstruation, and even the weather.  When making lifestyle changes to lose weight, measure your progress by the way your clothing fits, tape measurements, or most importantly, how you feel.  If you do step on the scale, do so only once a week, at the same time of day each time, dressed in the same clothing.  The scale is simply an educational tool that lets you know if your habits are helping you reach your goals or if they need to be adjusted.

The road to a healthy body image can be a long one, especially if you have been struggling with poor body image for years. However, by taking deliberate steps to stop the toxic negative self-talk, it is entirely possible to be content—even happy!—with the way you look, at any size. By surrounding yourself with positive thoughts, friends, and images, you'll be one step closer on the road to body bliss.
The Australian Psychological Society.  ''The Man Behind the Mask: Male Body Image Dissatisfaction,''  accessed April 2012.

Cash, Ph.D. Thomas, and Linda Smolak, Ph.D. 2011. Body Image: A Handbook of Science, Practice and Prevention. New York: The Guilford Press.

Mayo Clinic. ''Body Dysmorphic Disorder,'' accessed April 2012.

ScienceDaily. ''Negative Body Image Related To Depression, Anxiety And Suicidality,'' accessed April 2012.

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Member Comments

  • The scale can be your enemy as well as your friend. BE mindful, SparkFriends and love yourself first. God made you beautiful just the way that you are.
    Thanks for a great article! :)
  • I will not throw the scale away. I weigh myself daily, some days it goes up one pound and makes me aware to keep eating properly that day & get my exercise in. I have never relied on any motivation from other people and have never got it. Some people make a comment after I have lost some weight, but discourage me while I am on a weight loss plan & put me down saying I can not do it. I have lost 45 pounds on my own. If I do not weigh myself daily I gain 5 pounds in a week. The only person I count on is myself. I also compete with myself in many ways to do better. I do not compare myself to others. I do this in everything in life.
  • Many good nuggets of advice on the article.
  • Good Lord - throw the scale away??
    Where in the name of all that is Holy do you FIND the people who write this dreck??
    Be sensible and weigh yourself once a week.

    I fell for that "body acceptance" crap and stopped weighing myself, and I ended up a fat, miserable, out of shape size 22. You have to hold yourself accountable; if you don't accept your failures and shortcomings, you'll never be able to change and you will always be unhealthy.

  • I can't imagine any of this making any difference. I'm fully aware of my strengths and very appreciative of what my body can do. That doesn't change the fact that I'm embarrassed by my size.
    Terrific article! As a fat woman with her fair share of body issues, it always astounds me when I overhear women who are fit, attractive and super healthy engage in self-loathing body talk. It is as if it is a social crime these days to feel comfortable in your own skin. My internal dialogue when overhearing these conversations is "Man, if this amazingly fit woman hates herself so much, she must recoil in terror when she sees me." Even here on Spark I have read a fair share of deliberate body shaming statements whenever someone who is less than perfect has the audacity to like herself. I have yet to come across anyone who has been shamed into perfection whether the shame is internal or external.
  • Very good article! When you compliment someone and they say, "oh it's nothing or some other negative statement," my answer to them is just say "thank you." Better to be positive than to give an excuse why you don't feel worthy. Same thing when you do a favor for someone & they start with excuses -- "Thank YOU" will make us both feel good!
    I have just printed the article out -- I have a motivation folder -- Reading it & reminding myself to incorporate many of these great ideas into my daily life.
  • I need to read this everyday! Its a great article. Very motivational!
  • Eating enough and relaxing enough are my pitfalls - I don't do either and I know I should

    I ought to keep reminding myself that my body is this amazing machine that I'm blessed with, and it performs everything without my having to tell it what to do! Not even the world's most advanced computer can do that!

    And it's the only one I'll ever have, so I guess I should start nurturing it more and torturing it less.

    Thanks for the wake up call SP!
  • JMB369
    This is a wonderful article, and I will print it out to remind me of all the things I can continue doing to feel good about myself.

    BUT! A word of caution. In the 1980's I implemented many of these ideas on my own. I accepted myself all the way from 170# to a whopping 230# in 2002. Then I suddenly woke up to the fact that although my weight did not change who I was, it was unhealthy and unattractive. At the age of 62, I decided to lose 50#. In actuality, I lost 75# over the next 4 years, finally reaching a BMI of 24.9 in November 2008. Right now I weigh 177. I regained 5#/year and woke up this year flirting with 180.

    I want to add that In 1990, for my 50th birthday, I hiked the High Sierras in Yosemite proving to myself and others that being overweight did not preclude physical well being. From 1996 to 2006 I taught yoga, proving that being obese did not preclude participating in a practice that is often associated with skinny models and dancers.

    My point is that it is important to accept our bodies as they are, but it is equally important to live a healthy lifestyle and embrace the changes required to accomplish this..
    I'm printing this article off to carry with me through out the day.

    The Journal for compliments is an excellent idea; there's nothing so soul crushing as those times when I'm too exhausted to conjure up positivity and keep a proper perspective on how I really am doing taking care of myself. Being able to have something on hand will be a big benefit.

    I used to print off SparkFriends comments of encouragement and compliments and keep them in my bedside table to refresh that positivity as well. I think I will be returning to that practice.

    Thank you.
    Great read and it made me feel better. I think the jornal of complents is a great idea and I want to start making one.

    All my role models are people around me who live a health life style and their body image. - Your artical made me relize this is wrong role models such be for other things besides image but truth i dont know if that will ever change for me.

    thansk for posting
  • You can't read a thing with all the commercials popping up one on top of the other. You try to dodge them and read but there are so many commercials that they take the enjoyment out of reading your great articles. I am not reading most of your articles because of the extreme proliferation of ads that track down even where you live so that they can promote their stuff.

About The Author

Ellen Goldman Ellen Goldman
Ellen founded EllenG Coaching, LLC to help individuals struggling with health issues that can be impacted by positive lifestyle change, such as weight loss, stress management, exercise, and life/work balance. As a certified professional wellness coach and certified personal trainer, Ellen holds a BS and Masters in Physical Education and is certified by ACSM, AFAA, and Wellcoaches Corporation. Visit her at Get her complimentary report, 52 Tips, Tools & Tricks to Permanent Weight Loss Without Going on a Diet, at