The simple reality is that you can’t control what other people think of you, no matter what you do, how much you weigh, or what you look like. If you want to feel happy in your own skin, it’s your own happiness and your own attitude that you have to focus on — those are the only things you have any control over. And that begins with choosing to lose weight for yourself and on your own terms, not to conform to other people's preferences.
This is easier said than done when you live in a society obsessed with thinness and beauty. Who doesn't have at least some desire to be accepted and admired by their peers? We all want to fit in! Because of this, being overweight means that you may not be as popular as the “beautiful" people. It means you may find it harder to get the job you want. And you might even be excluded from certain activities. Excess weight can, literally, come between people in personal relationships, too. And worst of all, it can interfere with your relationship with yourself.
When your weight causes you come up short when making a first impression (no matter how superficial or unfair you believe this to be), it hurts. And it’s very easy to start hating yourself or your own body for “causing” this problem, even though the real problem is a foolish and mean-spirited cultural stereotype.
So, is it realistic for you to think that losing weight will help you avoid these kinds of problems? Yes — but that is no guarantee. (After all, there are plenty of unhappy, frustrated, and lonely people who will tell you that being thin is no guarantee that things will go the way you want.)
If losing weight is going to change your life, it's not because of how you look, how many pounds you lose, or what others will think of you. Your life, confidence, self-esteem, and attitude will improve when the process of losing weight itself empowers you — to seek what you want, to succeed without limiting yourself, and to believe that who you are doesn't depend on how you look and how others react to your appearance. And that process of empowerment begins with choosing to lose weight the right way, for the right reasons — and for you alone.
So how do you use these principles to set goal weight? This mental exercise will help: