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Shortly after we moved into our house my father's doctor informed him that his health was improving. With the stress of the move and my father's illness out of the way, John and I started trying to get pregnant again. We read everything we could about getting pregnant. We charted my periods; we bought ovulation kits?everything we could possibly do. I wanted to be pregnant as quickly as possible. Each month when I got my period I cried because I was not pregnant yet. John was very supportive, very loving each month and tried to help me from being discouraged. Unfortunately, despite this encouragement I became very depressed. I blamed myself because the pregnancy had been ectopic. I started coping with my depression by focusing my energy on watching everything I ate and working out three to four times a week. I also became a control freak. If I didn't eat between certain times, if there were changes to my routine, or if I was disrupted for any reason I would get angry. Through all this, I had no idea that I was losing a lot of weight. I thought I looked fat. By August 2003, I could not take the depression any longer that I was not pregnant. John and I decided to make an appointment with the nurse practioner to see what suggestions she had to help improve our chances of getting pregnant. The appointment was set for September 8. I mentioned earlier that John and I charted my periods. We were very faithful about doing this every month. For some reason, the month of August, we did not write down the start and end date of my period. I am a teacher and every year when the school year begins, I am always very tired. The beginning of this school year was no different. As September 8, approached, one of my co-workers said to me, "I think you're pregnant." I thought she was crazy for saying that; however, as John and I met with the nurse we realized that we had no idea when my last period was. By the end of that week, my co-worker convinced me to buy a pregnancy test. I was so worried that it would be negative, I was afraid to take the test. On September 11, I stopped and bought a test. I took the test right away and it did come out negative. As I read the directions for the test, it said there could be a possibly of "false negatives" and suggested I do the test early in the morning. Two days later, I did take the test again. It was positive! I screamed so loud that I woke John up. We both cried with excitement and anticipation. Again, we already had names picked out for a girl or boy. If it was a girl, she would be named after our aunts. If it was a boy, he would be named after his grandfathers, like my father had suggested the previous Christmas Eve. Continued › |
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