Has the Technology Wave Gone Too Far?

By , SparkPeople Blogger
Last week I wrote a blog about working balance into my life for 2011. This was not a hasty goal but one I have been reflecting on for many months now. It seems as though the more gadgets I get, everything from my iPhone, to my iTouch, to my iPad, to my laptop, to my GPS, even my Garmin Forerunner for running, the more I am tethered to a source of technology. And in doing so the more isolated I have become. Instead of picking up the phone, I can send a text or email which isn't always met with the response I expect as the written word doesn't always carry the intonation I had intended, but it is convenient.

A few weeks ago my husband and I were having a nice dinner at a family style restaurant when we saw a family of five sitting at a table. I assume it was Mom, Dad and their three kids. The Mom was sitting quietly looking around sipping on her tea, while the Dad spent his time looking at his cell phone, and all the kids were texting or playing games on their cell phones. What I didn't see was a family conversing and experiencing a meal as a family, well at least not the way I envision families spending a meal together.

The technology jab didn't stop there. Last month when I was running the Las Vegas Rock N Roll Half-Marathon/Marathon, I was running by a young lady whom I believed was trying to talk to me. In my silly way I tried to ask her what she was saying, but I never got a response. I kept talking louder and still no response, and that was when I realized she wasn't talking to me, she was talking on her cell phone in the middle of a race.

Even friends who work in offices have told me that it is far easier to send an email or an instant message to their co-workers than it is to get up from their desk to converse about an issue. Once again keeping that isolation going.

I grew up in the pre-cable world of television--in fact our first television was a small black and white, set that sat on a stand that took up less than four feet of space. And get this, for many years we only had one set for the entire family. According to a 2006 study the average household has more televisions than there are family members and the Howards are right with them. For the two of us we have three TVs.

When I was in high school I remember when the Sony Walkman was gadget of the day for those wanting to listen to music in private. They were so big that you had to carry them or wear them on your waistband. Now I have an iPod Nano that is the size of a large postage stamp that allows me to not only to listen to all my favorite tunes, but I can get radio as well.

And let's not begin to talk about our first computer my husband and I owned way back in 1983. That year we became the proud owners of the IBM PC, Jr. Smart phones today can do a million more things than the Jr, but it was just the beginning of things to come in the world of technology. Today we now own two desk-tops, two laptops, an iPad, and one notebook for two of us!

In a few months I will be turning 50 and maybe there is a need for me to look back on my life with a little nostalgia. Times when TV was less important than going outside and playing with your friends. When going to the swimming pool and riding our bikes were activities that we had no clue at the time were actually keeping us healthy and fit, but we considered fun. When we were required to be home for dinner as a family and share our day's happenings. When getting a phone in your room as a teenage meant you were developing true independence, or so you thought.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for technology, after all it allows me to work out of my home and converse via the written word with hundreds of people around the world every day. I love being able to go for a run and listen to my favorite tunes without carrying an extra pound or two of equipment with me. I love knowing that I have a way to get in contact with my husband or the police if something were to happen on my runs. I love knowing that my daughter can contact me anytime she needs something. There is a sense of peace knowing that I am not cut off from the world regardless of whether I am on a run or in the grocery store. But I do wonder how all this technology has changed the way we converse and interact with the world around us.

This is why I have decided that I must set a goal to limit my time on the computer and phone. I am joining a Pilates and strength training class just so that I can have daily interaction with people. I hope to get a group of friends to run/walk with me on Saturday or Sunday mornings. I even plan on doing some volunteer work for my local run club and other charities so that I have that people interaction. After all, isn't that what life is all about-- being and interacting with others. Gadgets can't give love, hugs and affirmations, but people can and do. And for that reason, I am going to use this time to break free of Tweeting, and limit my time Facebooking so if you do not get a response, I am not ignoring you, I am just out living my life.

Do you feel tethered to technology? What are some steps you have taken to break free?

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It's difficult to feel tethered by technology when you can't afford it. I do spend a lot of time on my computer, but then I am home a lot because of my disabililty. I can not afford cable TV and often watch movies and documentaries on YouTube, as long as they are accompanied by decent closed captioning. I recently gave up my cell phone--which was not a Smart phone, because it no longer accommodated my hearing loss and I could not afford to "upgrade". I think technology is isolating in the way that you are viewing it to be so, but I think it is also isolating from a socio-economic viewpoint as well. The "haves" just don't get the hardships and lifestyles of the " have nots" . Report
I don't feel as tethered to tech as some other people my age. I am more tethered to my music which of course does not count as tech. I don't think that I could be okay without music but how do people get around without gps. Report
Technology is improving every year i noticed that...

http://www.advicebreakingup.org Report
I love technology and have reconnected with a lot of my cousins and friends through e-mail and facebook. But i agree we also need to make time to communicate with each other face to face. Whenever we have family dinners and our now grown up children start texting while at the dinner table i usually ask them if they can wait until the meal is finished to text their friends. Report
You have truley hit the nail on the head with this one! Technology is great, but we have allowed it to comsume our lives! I would much rather talk to someone on the phone than to spend time texting back and forth. It is a shame when you have to email someone to set up a meeting instead of speaking with them via phone or in person. Then they wonder why todays generation doesn't have good communication skills when they have to actually interact with someone in person.
There has to be a balance in real life and your Virtual world. Report
I appreciate technology, and probably spend too much time sitting at my computer. However, I have decided that I won't turn on my computer until I have at least had a healthy breakfast, read a little in my Bible and prayed for the day, and walked for 30 minutes or more. Most days that keeps my priorities in order -- although there have been a couple of days when I couldn't get to my compter at all! Report
I spend my spare time either reading or on the PC...whoops! Almost forgot about the ever-present iPod! Nancy, I believe your conclusion is right on; we really have become tethered, rather than connected to one another. When I do get out (yes, I've almost reached "practicing hermit" status!), I find people pretty cold and rude, so I don't feel any desire to join groups of them or meet new people, sadly. There was a day when I had a number of close friends, but no more. All the same, I've lost all but the last 8 pounds of my extra weight, and I'm currently working on those last pesky pounds. Report
I really do have to agree, those commercials that say we need a phone to save us from our phones are so right! There are times my husband and I are at dinner and he will absent mindedly pull out his phone and start looking at it or reading an article and I know I do the same thing sometimes. It's become an appendage that I think makes us lazier as a country as well Report
I agree about technology, people have gone so overboard with it. I found it discouraging to try and call the grandkids and talk to them as they were either texting, answering e-mails at the same time as talking to me. No one would have quality grammy time that way. If they weren't doing that, they might be in the middle of a game or movie. Now mind you, I rarely get to talk to them so it is discouraging to call and have silences to your questions and you have to call their name several times to get their attention.

I really think there should be rules put in place not only for children but adults. Here in our State and the bordering one have laws against cell phone use while driving but many people ignore it and there are many close calls. I hate coming upon someone with an ear bud or cell phone stuck to their ear. Many time their voices are too loud, sharing with everyone their personal conversation as well as acting like they have precedents over the aisles etc., as they are in a hurry etc.

My cell, for emergencies, stays shut off and few have the number for it and it will stay that way. There needs to be more curtesy and manners used when any device is in use. Report
pet peeve: People have lost the ability to walk because they are always face-down in the phone! Report
I LOVE technology. I know where it has its place and it enriches my life. I am MORE connected, not less.
I envision health care becoming more and more about accountability and the ATTAINMENT of health (with the aid and support of others like here on SP) and not just disease prevention and treatment. Thanks to technology, people are more knowledgeable and participatory in health decisions. Itís a wonderful thing.
I could not have said this any better. I get frustrated with people who think it is the end of the world when one of their techno-gadgets is down for any length of time. I think we were better off in the "old days" than we knew. Sometimes I long for those simpler times even though I am more social now because of technology. My insecurities are able to be hidden better when I connect with people online. Sad, but true. I feel the need to cut down on my Facebook time as well, but it is because I waste so much time on the games. I am going to be taking 6 classes this semester so there will not be any time for games. Thanks for bringing this topic to light. Report
53 years old and our techno stuff is amazing have sure a huge change in communication with in my lifetime! Report
We are trying to balance the ( tech games) :the wii , dsixl, computer games and tv, at our house.We all love the wii, ( even Nana) but we have imposed daily and weekly time limits for all screen time.There is no technology allowed during meals and before the homework or chores are done and yes, this includes piano.( basically, its a treat)
The pvr allows us to choose the programming and manage our tv time and viewing in appropriate ways.We watch together.
The wii allows us to play together particularly in the winter but we play board games as well, like Trouble and Dominos and Goblet jr.
The dsixl: The dsi is the XL=extra large screen, because Mommy and Daddy both wear bifocals and sometimes we need to read the directions!Now if they could only make the buttons a bit larger that would be great.
I think you can manage the technology and create a balance but you need to have that awareness in order to do so. Report
My husband (who works in technology) and I talk about this all the time. While we're grateful it provides a comfortable lifestyle for us, we also curse it and resist it as much as possible. We have a cell phone that is pay as you go because I don't need an electronic leash going off every 10 minutes, email is fine and I also don't want the 40 minute phone call about nothing wasting my time which is why no one has the number. We establish boundaries with his work that if he's not on call, he's not reachable. I truly believe this is why our society has become rude, expects instant gratification and has no empathy. It's only going to go downhill from here. Report
I spend way too much time with a laptop on my lap. Usually the TV is on in the background and often my bluetooth in my ear as I talk on the phone. Report
it is so true. Even for those who do not see it. I do use technology, but I am not used by it. I keep a tight control of it in my life. Report
Wow - I had NO idea that ipods could be that small. Wow Report
Wow I couldn't disagree with all of you more! I guess I'm the only one that feels this way but I love it! I think Nancy has made her own problem! Did you actually read the list of all the gadgets she has? I don't have this issue. I embrace technology. For those that are shut-ins it's a doorway to the world! Moderation is the key to EVERYTHING! Report
I often forget to take my cell phone with me. I am not attached at the hip by it like most people. May be that my cell phone is just that, do not have texting or any of the other things, either does my husband or 24 yr.old son. It is my friends who think I am a bit strange because they can't reach me all the time. Even now my phone is in my bedroom at the other end of the house. If is rings, oh well, the person can leave a message and I will get back to them sometime in the 24 hrs. or not. People don't talk to each other anymore. Report
I couldn't agree more! I walked a 5k this weekend and one young woman was talking on her cell phone too! Report
I quit facebook because I found that it was causing me to become very depressed. Games that had no real winner, rushing home to feed the animals that I soon just wanted to shoot. A cafe that drove me crazy too.People are social creatures by nature . Networking in business is one thing but too much is too much. A book could be writting on cause and effect of this problem. I'm glad that more people are waking up to these facts.

I quit f/b cold turkey as something my husband still can't believe. I was so addicted. Report
Since I don't have kids needing to reach me, my cell phone stays turned off unless I need to make a call. There's no danger of me driving with my mind on the phone instead of the road. People in public places don't have to listen to mindless one-sided chatter from me. My thumbs don't have repetitive stress injuries from texting. All around, it's a winning strategy. Unless you really NEED to talk with someone about something--like when you're running late for an appointment--it can probably wait. Silence is a lovely sound and being silent with someone else is even better. Report
Being quite a bit older than you, I can remember NO TV, when you only dialed 4 numbers on the phone, when you had to "pound" on the old manual keyboard, etc. Like most of the world, I too, have more tvs than there are individuals living here...how about 4 for just me?? Why?? While I have attempted to keep up with the technolgy world, I still prefer the one-on-one communication. As you said, with emails, blogs, etc., it's too easy to be misinterpreted or misunderstood. I just rejoined a yoga class rather than do it the techno-way of DVR. It is so much more fun, more rewarding. I walk with a girlfriend, I work on free community dinners through my church. Being with others is so rewarding.

Technology has its "place", but we also need to know where, when and how to "place" it!

Thanks for such a wonderful blog. Report
I completely know what you mean! I'm not much off a tech freak, but I won't go anywhere without my cell phone. If I forget I would rather be late to work, have someone drop it off to me or go back home during my lunch time...now if that's not bad then I don't know what is??? I work at a public library and I need to be more or less up to date on the technology stuff, but I can't keep up. I'm barely learning how to download, up date and so forth on one thing when something else new pops up. How can we escape? Report
Technology is a good servant but a bad master. Then there's the issue of unforeseen consequences. Look how radically the internal combustion engine changed the very face of our country--some good changes but many, many really, really bad ones.

I use my cell phone only when absolutely necessary and especially value it for car emergencies, to let someone know I'll be late, and such. I don't play computer games or hang out in chat rooms or on social sites. I use my computer for work, for research, and for emailing a select group of family and friends. And I'm happy to have such a resource.

Cell phone use especially scares me. I've almost been hit so many times by cars making left turns without the right away as the drivers busily talked on their phones--even though using a cell while driving is illegal in my state. Then there are the pedestrians who walk along jabbering away as they step into the intersection against the light. Fortunately I inherited fast reflexes from my father. Report
I am tethered, although not as tightly as I could be. I don't carry my cell phone with me at work, it goes in my locker and stays there until I go home. We have e-mail at work, but I'll pick up the phone and dial my supervisor's extension before I'll even think of sending an e-mail. Now at home that's another story! I am thethered tightly to my computer; seems like I'm always on here. I know spark is suposed to help me, but I honestly think I spend too much time here, along with all the other "social" web sites. I really need to set a limit on my time online. There are so many other things I could be doing............... Report
I totally agree with you. I see it in the classroom - my children (students) are becoming more and more socially "retarded" pardon the political incorrectness, but they are uncomfortable talking to other people but they text like crazy - and what really gets me is the one who is for all intensive purposes illiterate. He is MR - IQ is low enough for that label, but he said he texts his friends - I'd just love to "read" one. But they can't "speak" comfortably with one another. And - you know if you want to break-up with someone - just text them it's over! The technology is great - as I sit here "listening" to Pandora on my cell phone - but limits need to be set.
I'm happy for the social interactions available on places like FB - but still as my status said yesterday when I spent the entire day by myself - Isolation is highly over-rated! I need my daily quotient of hugs - but that happens less and less these days. Report
yes I hate being a techno geek... a pager /cellphone for work a comp/fax for home for work.... what have we done.... we made a rule in our house- no phone calls are answered, no tv on, no iphones at the table, no iphones texting during our dinner time... the ONLY exception to this rule is when my hubby is on call.... he is an arson investigator and a phone call on his work phone means he has to laeve.... DINNER is our MFT (mandatory family time) no one leaves the table till we are all done - this is when we can talk about our day this is when we have the chance uninterrupted to talk to our children and find out whats going on... of course bedtime is when they always want to talk so we are a work in progress.... it has always been this way at the house even in our PK days ( pre kid days) Report
Great article, Coach Nancy. The technology thing concerns me quite a bit - especially the way I see it isolating people. It is even more apparent in LA where there are so many people, yet so many seem isolated from each other. It is even harder to get my students to be "present" to start their lessons. I request they turn off the technology and make the hour one for themselves. As you mentioned in your other article about balance - as with technology, moderation is the key :-) Report
This is really a great topic. I have also noticed that I am often torn between which piece of technology I need. Between my kindle, my laptop, my blackberry, and my ipod touch I can constantly be in touch with everyone, but at the same time, today is my birthday and all but 3 of my "happy birthday" wishes have been in the form of a text or facebook message. Though that is great because I get a ton more of them from peole that I dont see on a regular basis, its still nice to hear a familar voice! I have also noticed myself spending a lot of time on these gadgets!! I have made a rule that there will be no "gadgets" during meals, and with the joining of a new family challenge on SP I have decided to limit screen time for the whole family! This is so great because when you are "bored" and cant turn on the tv, computer etc, you actually GET UP and do something WITH the people that matter most!! Report
Hooray! I am happy to see this blog from Nancy Howard, and agree with it completely. I have made a conscious choice not to purchase these gadgets, and my cell phone is about as basic as it can be. My friends complain because I don't turn it on very often! I refuse to facebook and twitter because of their isolating nature. In fact, I have coined a new phrase, the "Antisocial Network." My personal belief is that we continue to isolate ourselves as result of these practices. We ask why the world consists of ugliness, cruelty and rudeness. I wonder to what degree life would improve if we curtailed the use of some of these devices and made active choices to engage people in person?
I agree. I personally am so tired of seeing people on their phones, texting all the time and not paying attention to anything around them. I have a step daughter who is almost 13, and she has that stinking phone in her hand constantly. We make her give it up at 8pm, and she can't keep it in her room at night. This way she isn't up all night texting her friends and what not. Also, we have to monitor what she's doing online. God knows who she is talking to. She is also not allowed to text while we're eating at a restaurant. We force her to talk to us :)

I was born in 1976, and I actually miss the days of no cell phones and internet sometimes. Miraculously we survived for so long without them! I'm not saying technology is all bad, but it's a totally different world now, and it's especially hard trying to raise kids and keeping them out of trouble. They have access to so much more (good and bad) that we ever did. Report
I had to laugh at the person talking on her cell during a marathon. During the last one I did, I got many calls from friends to help encourage me along the way. I actually got more calls during that race then I usually do in an entire month! Report
All these comments I've read reflect some conversations I have recently had with a co-worker. Technology has taken a hold and humans have fallen right in line - just like we have been trained to do......we "need" the latest and greatest; we now can't be out of touch at any time for any reason; why talk to someone when you can text 10 others?

I feel that the use of cell phones (blackberries, iphones, etc) has taken a society that was already getting rude and inpatient and turned it into one that expects instant gratification not matter what.

I have a cell phone - I only use it for calling someone. Texting is blocked by my provider at my request and I don't have access to the internet from it. It is just a phone and it does not even take pictures. I like it that way. I will need to replace it sometime and I know I will be bombarded with all the latest and greatest that I don't want. I have seen on another post - technology does not own me. I use it as a tool as much as I want but I can get by without it.

One of the biggest concerns we should have is the kids today - they are so focused on the the "phone" they are not paying attention to what is happening around them. How many times do you see a teenager walking down the sidewalk looking only at the gadget in their hands - that is their world They won't see the creep looking for a target to snatch and molest them. I know it is not happening to every one of them, but is happening often enough. Not being aware of your surroundings makes you more vulnerable to the "bad guys" looking for a target. I don't want to sound paranoid, but it is happening every day out there.
Gadget lovers - Look Up, Look around, Pay attention. You are allowing yourself to be a target otherwise.
And I won't get into the to poor grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. that all this technology has created.......Does today's generation know how to write by hand?
I get criticized for not carrying my cell phone. Tough! I spend the day hooked to the internet, Instant messages, mail, etc.
No Facebook for me, no IM on personal; computers, and the cell phones are used when they are needed. Nobody needs to know what color socks I'm wearing, or what I'm having for lunch, what color the signal light is, etc.
Took my son, a true music buff, to see Bob Dylan recently. Tickets were expensive. A young woman/girl in front of us, with her parents, spent the entire concert texting.. What a waste.
Balance can be tricky - especially finding the technology sweet spot that works best for you! When we got our house, my husband and I decided we wouldn't get cable (our antenna works fine) and until this month, we had dial-up computers (since all our computing can be done on-the-job; both our companies are of the "if your work is done and it's not illegal, we don't care what you do with the internet" school). We finally had to get a broadband modem for home so I could check in here and keep a family schedule centralized - and it's made everything much, much easier for us. We're not forgetting appointments, we know what each of us has to do during a given day, we don't cross-schedule events we both have to attend any more. We never want technology to take over our lives, but sometimes, using a bit more of it *can* help make life better! Report
We can't blame the technology itself. We are the users, we are the ones in control of our mindset toward technology and how we utilize the technology. I think rather than blame technology, we should look inward. For example, it is not a phone's fault, if a driver causes an accident because they were texting.

I only have about 30 Facebook friends, and most of them are family. I deactivated my account because I was tired of it. It took more than a month before anyone noticed because I use it mainly to share pictures with my family. This year my husband and I are getting out there in the world, living life, and forming face to face connections. (Though we may use Facebook to RSVP to events.) Report
I have heard people talking on their phones in the bathroom, in hallways, just about everywhere and heard everything. My favorite was the young lady discussing the restraining order against her boyfriend. I work in a store. People ask what the return policy is. Their phone rings. They discuss with the person where they are and what they bought. It couldn't wait 2 minutes to find out what the return policy is? No brains attached to the technology. Report
Exactly my thoughts!!

Kids nowadays have become so much dull because of the evergrowing technology. I went to a birthday party of a kid one day and I was shocked to find out that I was more excited about birthday games than the kids were. They just have a different view to entertainment now. It's more about sitting infront of the computer or just engrossed with your mobile. Report
I'm a techie and love my gadgets, but I agree - it is far too easy to ignore that face to face contact. Testing, etc., is great, but when i ask if you're okay and you text me back "Yes", I can't look into your eyes or hear your voice that says, "No, not really..." Balance, balance, balance! Use technology for what it is good for, but make time for real connections to people. Report
Has technology gone too far? Too far from what or too far to what? I suspect that all life feels uncomfortable with change. Change is threatening. It would sure be exciting (or maybe depressing?) to see where humans are 100 years from now. Report
Excellent blog! Again, the key is balance. Perhaps we need to rediscover Emily Post and someone needs to write a book/blog/whatever one writes these days on etiquette in the age of technology. Texting or talking on a cell phone while eating out with family or friends should be verboten...just as "reading at the table" used to be considered quite rude. Not that I wasn't tempted to do it -- but it just WASN'T DONE! And I must say, countries like France don't seem to have this problem as much. I was in a lot of restaurants in Paris this last week and did not see this behavior there. Lots of interaction between people... Report
I am totally blind, and came late to the computer world. I'm delighted to have the technology which allows me to use it, but am appalled at the amount of time some of my friends spend on Facebook or other sites, just playing and "friending" people. What makes someone a friend?
To me, a friend is someone who has reached out to you when the chips are down, with hugs and help, and who can also accept them in return. Cyber goodies may make many smile, but when one is grieving the loss of an aging parent or scared about an upcoming medical procedure, the online comments are nice, but the real hugs and the offer of a meal or a ride or just an ear are priceless.
I'm glad I have spark, and a portable audio reading device which allows me to listen to books while doing tedious chors or riding the recumbent bike, but the time with people is what has made me who I am.
We had a rule when the kids were growing up that no TV show would ever interfere with family time. If a kid wouldn't play with a friend or refused to go to dinner with us, the TV was off limits for a time. We still never watch TV while at the table. In fact, we dumped cable, and haven't looked bac! Report
While I use technology very frequently, I feel the benefits far, far outweigh any costs for me.

If you look in old newspapers, you can see the same anti-technology viewpoints when telephones first became widely available. Even books and the printed word were at one point seen as taking away from face to face communication and "real life". Technology is not the problem--it's just a tool. A cell phone and a hammer can both be misused, but there's nothing inherently wrong about either.

(I have to say, I also find it pretty amusing when arguments about the value of technology occur online. Does that seem ironic to anyone else?) Report
I have given up TV for a year now, refuse to use a cell phone except a pay as you go for emergencies. Refuse to be active on Facebook. I can't wear ear buds, they make me deaf, so I am forced to listen to nature not technology :)

Especially since the Blackberry came up, work presses more and more into my private life. So far I try to limit checking it during holidays and weekends to once a day.
Sometimes I wish though I wouldn't have one.... Report
You know what this is so very true. I got to thinking about that when I was reading this and I can completely relate to that. I have done that very thing that the one family you talked about in the restaurant was doing. OMG! What have i been doing all this time and now that I started doing this along with exercise I feel more free about things. Thank you for writing this. Report
While we have 8 tv (4 family members), each has iPhone/BB/iPhone/laptop, we still make time for family dinners & weekend family brunch. We don't text when we eat together and do spend time talking. With that said, I work full time (from home) on a laptop, am on SP & FB regularly as well as my iPhone which I see that I use when I'm bored when I'm out which is not a good thing. I also see that my kids (like most) multi task regulary doing homework with tv on, iChat going & texting all at the same time. I've recently established rules about doing homework without distractions but find myself playing the role of technology police regularly which I don't like, but is necessary. But who polices the police (LOL) as I can be just ast guilty! Kids are definitely communicating differently than we did which is concerning as I worry that we won't know how to talk to one another. I, myself, have begun to pick up the phone to call for work related issues rather than email which I previously felt was more efficient. Verbal & face-to-face are typically far more effective even if they take more time. Learning to slow down rather than always having a sense of urgency all the time... Report
Right now the only thing I am tethered to, is my cell phone. I don't go anywhere without it. I have even turned around on my way to work to back home to get it. Other than that, I have my computer for emails and stuff, and my TV for news watching. I read alot...real books, not Kindle or Nook, that type of thing. Report
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