Tame the Emotional Eating Beast for Good

3 Ways to Get Back on Track

-- By Dean Anderson, Behavioral Psychology Expert

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When weight loss professionals discuss emotional eating, you hear a lot of talk about stimulus control, stress management techniques, and cognitive reframing. This is all well and good (and you’ll be hearing some of that here), but it doesn’t quite capture the actual experience of being caught up in an episode of emotional eating. In a recent post here on the Message Boards, a SparkPeople member got much closer to capturing the experience when she described it as “waking up the Slumbering Beast” we have inside us.

This really is what it feels like, at least in my experience. You’re doing OK, cruising along, when suddenly something happens that stirs up a bunch of feelings, and all of a sudden the Beast is awake and eating everything it can get its hands on. Or maybe it isn’t always that dramatic—maybe you just get bored, or start feeling a little anxious because there is nothing going on to distract you from that vague sense of impending doom that always seems to be lurking just under the surface. Even that little bit of free-floating anxiety can be enough to wake the Beast up and set it on the prowl for something to eat. Or it might be as simple as getting home from work or school, or finding yourself alone for a little while, after a hard day. Whatever the trigger might be, the Beast isn’t about to go back to sleep without doing some serious eating first. Or so the story normally goes.

There are two basic and complimentary approaches you can use to tame the Beast before it trashes your food plan, and you’ll need both for long-term success. The difference between them is the same as the difference between emergency medicine and preventive medicine. The main focus here will be on coping with the immediate emergency. You’ll find more information about the preventive approach, aimed at putting an end to the problem for good, in the links at the end of this article.

When the Beast is Loose: Getting It Back in Its Cage
The bad news here is that will power has little effect on controlling emotional eating. From a psychological perspective, the shift into emotional eating mode is usually a “state-dependent” event, which is a fancy way of saying that it involves shifting into a different state of consciousness (or persona) with its own independent set of emotions and related thinking patterns. For a little while, you literally aren’t your normal self, and the normal tricks you use to manage your behavior and thinking may not work.

The good news is that your Emotional Eating Beast is a pretty dim-witted critter, and you can trick it into going back where it came from without too much effort, if you know how to do it. Here are some tricks that usually work:

Play the Stalling Game. Your Beast has a very short attention span, and if you can manage to stall it for just a few minutes on its way to the kitchen, it will often forget why it woke up in the first place, and happily go back where it came from. So, instead of trying to fight it and tell it that it can’t have what it wants, just tell it to hang on for five minutes and wait until you’re done doing what you’re doing. If necessary, you can usually get away with stalling like this 2-3 times before things start to get ugly, and most of the time, that 10-15 minutes will be plenty long enough for your Beast to forget the whole business and go back to sleep.
Play the Distraction/Substitution Game. If your Beast doesn’t fall for the Stalling Game, you can still use your superior mental capacities to keep the upper hand. The key here is to keep in mind that what your Beast really wants isn’t food, but emotional comfort. If you can find ways to comfort yourself that don’t involve food, the need to eat will go away very quickly. Find something you enjoy doing that’s simple and easy to do right away. Listen to soothing or inspirational music, take a hot bath or a nice walk around the block, logon to SparkPeople, grab the phone and chat with a friend, or do some inspirational reading—you get the idea. Think of the Beast as a young child who just woke up from a nightmare, and of yourself as the parent looking for a way to help your child calm down and realize that it was all just a bad dream.
Play the Good Beast/ Bad Beast Game. Even though the Beast may seem powerful and overwhelming, it is just as afraid of you as you are of it. It knows full well that you can and, someday, probably will just tell it to go take a hike, and that will be the end of the game. To postpone this unhappy day for as along as possible, the Beast is always willing to negotiate with you if you can muster up enough nerve to stare it in the eye and demand some sort of compromise you can live with. If you keep your kitchen stocked with healthy snacks that won’t kill your diet and your self-respect, and you let the Beast get its hands on them, then you can both stay relatively happy—until that day when you’re ready to finally toss the Beast out and change the locks.

Once you have the immediate situation under control, you can start working on ways to prevent this problem from happening in the first place, by learning how to handle stress and powerful feelings without relying on food. There are lots of articles in the Resource Center on stress management and handling negative thinking. In addition, you’ll find some helpful ideas in these articles:

1 Step Back, 2 Steps Forward
What Is Normal Eating - Part 3
An Exercise in Self-Esteem

This article is Step 4 in SparkPeople's Mind Over Body series, a 10-step program to ending emotional eating and creating a permanent healthy lifestyle. View the full series here or continue to the next step.

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About The Author

Dean Anderson
Dean Anderson has master's degrees in human services (behavioral psychology/stress management) and liberal studies. His interest in healthy living began at the age of 50 when he confronted his own morbid obesity and health issues. He joined SparkPeople and lost 150 pounds and regained his health. Dean has earned a personal training certification from ACE and received training as a lifestyle and weight management consultant. See all of Dean's articles.

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Member Comments

LINDAGALLI

That Beast lives within me as well, My way of keeping it caged, and / or happy is to stay away from as many simple carbs as possable, They seem to trigger that Beast. I have been keeping my Carbs as low as I can keeping any that do end up on my plate, as complex as possable. That after Dinner snack is also a trigger, so I make sure it is only Protein. Once I get the carbs under control, (takes about 5 days of really working hard at self control) I do fine, The Beast has its comments close to bed time every night, but it is just a light whisper, not a full blown RAWR. - 4/23/2013 6:10:48 PM
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GEEKYPRINCESS

I've always heard the "you need self control" plan to stop the cravings, but that doesn't work for me. This is the first thing I've read that admits that it's more than just that. Great! - 2/20/2013 4:00:12 PM
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MCLARKBLAINE

I think this may be the approach I need. Since I ignore the beast when I am at school all day, she demands my attention as soon as I get home. Now I will think of just disciplining the beast instead of feeding her. Wow! I think this will work!!! - 12/31/2012 6:21:50 AM
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THINSTEAD

For me, "distraction" didn't work. I had to FEEL the feelings that were causing my emotional eating and then RELEASE them. I was an emotional eater for much of my adult life. When I wasn't actively dieting, I was constantly craving pasta, cheese, or anything crunchy. I wasn't so much a sweets gal. But I would come home at night after work and make several helpings of spaghetti or fettuccine alfredo and plop down in front of the TV. I finally figured out that I was eating to reduce subconscious tension, anxiety and a general unhappiness with my life. Then I decided to take a look at my life in great detail, and use emotional freedom techniques to rid myself of my emotional eating. I methodically examined all my memories from childhood to present and released any negative emotions I was harboring. The end result is I'm emotionally free for the first time in my life, and I'm very happy. I've lost 30 lbs and am still losing. I no longer crave high carb foods and look forward to eating salads and fresh fruits and veggies for my meals. I would encourage anyone struggling with emotional eating or food addiction to investigate EFT. It was a miracle in my life. I've also shared my journey, as well as all the exact techniques and exercises I used to get over my emotional eating in my book, ThinStead. If my story resonates with you, and you want to get over your emotional eating too, ThinStead is available on Amazon. If you can beat your emotional eating, you won't have to diet anymore, because you'll automatically be making healthier food choices every day. Doing the emotional work seriously gave me back my life. I feel so much freer and happier now than I ever have, that I wanted to share my story with others. But whatever you do, God bless you in your journey to health and fitness! - 8/16/2012 1:49:35 PM
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TBOGENER

Dean is very insightful and he writes in a voice that is understandable but not baby talk or preaching. Right On Keep up the Great Articles - 6/27/2012 8:03:06 PM
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SPARKLEGIRL78

This was a great article and I'm glad I read it. The beast was definately banging down my door today - luckily I refused to answer - and I know it will come knocking again and again until I learn to cope with my emotional eating in a healthy, less self destructive way. I really like the suggestions the article provides, and will try and use them when I want to turn to food for comfort. - 1/27/2012 10:51:51 PM
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STEP2IT

This is a fantastic article. I always thought that there was no way to deal with my emotional eating but the tools that this article gave me are exactly what I needed. Thank you! I have saved this to my favorites and plan on using the ideas in this article on a regular basis.
- 1/27/2012 9:40:05 PM
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STEP2IT

This is a fantastic article. I always thought that there was no way to deal with my emotional eating but the tools that this article gave me are exactly what I needed. Thank you! I have saved this to my favorites and plan on using the ideas in this article on a regular basis.
- 1/27/2012 9:36:51 PM
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LZY0108

Loving these ideas! Ive been having such trouble with my "beast".. GREAT article and much needed on my end! - 1/27/2012 2:30:52 PM
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KJOHANEK1

Excellent article - I have such a bad habit of eating just because I am bored. It leads to mindless munching on the couch. My resolution is to only eat at the table! Thanks - 1/27/2012 1:07:53 PM
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AMYSAL1

Fantastic article! Thank you. I think we've all heard those steps in managing emotional eating, but I've never heard it described as having its own entity and treating it as such. I'm thinking that seeing it that way, it may be easier for me to try some of the steps to avoid putting food into my mouth. I wish I'd had this article yesterday! The beast reared its ugly head last night. : ( - 1/27/2012 11:33:31 AM
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SARAOMG13

Great article. I think it will be helpful to give the emotions a "physical" entity, such as the beast. Thanks! - 1/27/2012 11:18:48 AM
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JANI-LOU

Thank you so much, Dean! You have just put into perspective what I have been struggling to understand for the past several months. I do "feel" like a different person when I am eating emotionally! The past few months have been so stressful -- had to start working ninety hours a week to pay back a debt from a failed farming venture, serious troubles with a teenage son and a health scare. I've gained back 15 pounds of the 80 I lost. I am determined NOT to go back there, so I am taking one step forward, again, today and plan to try out your suggestions on the "beast" immediately. - 1/27/2012 10:45:36 AM
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MISSLISA1973

Until recently, I did not believe that I was an emotional eater. I have begun to see that there are indeed times that I eat emotionally. It is great to have information like this to help put this type of eating in my past! - 9/24/2011 12:09:52 PM
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DDESERTDDAWN

What a kind and simple way to view this 'NEEEDY' part of myself that really just wants to make everything better, but keeps making things worse in the meantime. Great tactics and good every day analogies for things like stimulous response and such.

Thanks!
dD - 8/14/2011 11:52:48 AM
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