SparkPeople advertisers help keep the site free! Learn more

Health & Wellness Articles  ›  Healthy Lifestyles

Put Yourself First

Reach Other Goals by Starting With Your Self

-- By Rebecca Pratt, Staff Writer
SparkPeople advertisers help keep the site free! Learn more
You’re a parent, school volunteer, Little League coach, and trusted assistant to your boss. You’ve been up since 6 a.m., made breakfast, packed lunches, cleaned the house, chauffeured the neighborhood kids, helped with homework, read bedtime stories, and finished extra work from the office.It’s 11:30.You’re exhausted.And, in about six-and-a-half hours you’ll begin the whole 24-hour cycle…again.

If you find yourself saying ‘Stop the merry-go-round, I want to get off!’ you’re not alone. Most of us—especially women, but men too (hey, there are reasons that men die younger than women)—have at some time found ourselves at the bottom of the heap when it comes to taking care of our needs.

The problem with that is that if we don’t take care of ourselves, sooner or later we won’t be of much use to anyone else—or to ourselves. Just as the airline attendant tells you to put on your own oxygen mask in an emergency before helping a child with theirs, you must take care of your own basic needs before you can attend to the needs of others. What’s more, being busy is not necessarily the same as being productive with meaningful activity. (Do the workaholics you know really accomplish that much more in proportion to the time they invest?)

If “putting yourself first” (a common admonition) sounds too selfish or too hard, try something simpler: put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and tend to. Do you insist that they get enough sleep? Start making that a priority for yourself too. Do you give them time for fun and socializing with friends? Then you do the same! Remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: human beings must meet their basic needs before they can move on to higher-level goals. Since most of us already know that we should take care of ourselves—but often have trouble figuring out how to do it, here are some guidelines for getting there:
  • Preserve your physical health with adequate sleep, exercise, and nutrition.
  • Value your emotional health as much as the physical, with a support system of friends and a willingness to laugh—especially at yourself.
  • Schedule fun activities on a regular basis—it’s just as important to plan pleasure as it is to plan work.
  • Identify “busy behaviors” (or people) that drain your time and energy but aren’t really important, then dump ‘em, or at least minimize their hold on you.
  • Kill two birds with one stone, combining family time with exercise, for example, which benefits everyone involved.
  • Try to look at the problems in your life with new eyes to find solutions. If you’re a new mom, for instance, see if you can trade childcare with another new mom to get some time for yourself.
  • Learn to say “No!” Your “yes” is valuable and should not be automatic. Instead, reserve it for the things that are most important to you.
  • Don’t try to change every problem area in your life all at once. Start with one or two items, then expand as you get things under control.
Your life should be like a checking account, balancing out on a regular basis so that you always have assets to draw upon. By making even small deposits—taking care of yourself with a 10-minute walk or a nutritious meal—you’ll be amazed at the interest you’ll reap.
Click here to to redeem your SparkPoints
  You will earn 3 SparkPoints
Page 1 of 1   Return to main wellness page »

Related Content


About The Author

Rebecca Pratt Rebecca Pratt
A freelance writer who contributes to various newspapers and magazines, Becky loves covering ordinary people doing extraordinary things.

Member Comments

  • Amen to this!! - 2/24/2013 1:21:04 AM
  • LOVETORIDE3
    This is an important topic for many of us who are responsible for others. It is easy to lose ourselves in our devotion to our family, work and social groups. I wonder if it isn't somehow easier for me to focus on them, than to address my own issues of nutrition and exercise. - 2/20/2013 1:43:32 PM
  • Thank you for my Birthday Wishes and this great article! - 1/18/2013 5:37:29 AM
  • Lovely article - thanks for sharing.
    I especially like your analogy at the end re life and a checking account - that has created some mental pictures and more with me. I'll need to get my head around that and come back stronger - thanks again. - 10/18/2012 4:57:58 PM
  • I really needed to read this. I do sooooo much others and wonder why I am having a hard time losing weight. I should have lost 50 pounds 4 years ago but I haven't. I've been putting everyone else before myself and I'm making an effort to change that. - 10/18/2012 9:01:31 AM
  • i needed this article. as a medical student, there's so much pressure to get all your work done, study constantly, and work hard so that you can one day help others. a noble goal, but lately those expectations are affecting my wellness. i hate that i'm still having to choose between staying caught up on lectures and sleeping/exercisi
    ng/etc. i keep trying to tell myself that if i run myself into the ground now i won't be of any use to anyone later on. - 10/18/2012 7:16:34 AM
  • Good stuff - 10/18/2012 4:45:20 AM
  • This article hit home for me. I always done for others. Somethings are so little, but time cosumming. I always felt I was rushing, putting 24 hours into 10. Yes doing for others and not for myself. I pulled out the stop sign and said somewhere in my day I have to have time for my needs. I have found time since joining sparkpeople. Time to eat right ,time to exercise, which is real time for my socializing. I still do for others,but some times if it doesn't need to be done right than it can wait, my health can not. - 10/2/2012 8:00:16 AM
  • This article hit home for me. I always done for others. Somethings are so little, but time cosumming. I always felt I was rushing, putting 24 hours into 10. Yes doing for others and not for myself. I pulled out the stop sign and said somewhere in my day I have to have time for my needs. I have found time since joining sparkpeople. Time to eat right ,time to exercise, which is real time for my socializing. I still do for others,but some times if it doesn't need to be done right than it can wait, my health can not. - 10/2/2012 7:59:44 AM
  • CHELE958
    Thank you for the birthday wishes. I need all the help I can get.
    - 9/27/2012 12:48:32 PM
  • LADONNAMCCANN1
    Thank you so much for the birthday greetings :) Have a wonderful day everyone! - 9/27/2012 11:44:24 AM
  • BOOGERSWOMAN
    I add my thanks to the others who have left comments! I find that I need the inspiring and motivational encouragement and a fiftieth birthday is a great time for them lol. Sincerely appreciated, Sarah - 9/26/2012 8:02:06 AM
  • AWILLABLE
    Thank You spark people. I appreciate your birthday greeting. This means a whole lot to me Thanks sooo much! - 9/22/2012 8:00:14 PM
  • WAN2GAIN

    thank you, for the "Birthday Wishes" - 9/22/2012 5:07:28 PM
  • Thank you so much for the birthday wishes and the links. Since 2008 I have been a SparkPeople member, both actively and not. You are so much more than just web site here. Your are always inspiring. Thanks again. - 9/9/2012 4:13:22 AM