Why Do We Beat Ourselves Up?
A Look at Self-Destructive Thoughts
-- By Mike Kramer, Staff Writer
If we had friends that treated us the way that many of us treat ourselves, they wouldn’t be our friends for very long. Imagine a friend who calls up just to complain–about you. Or an alleged buddy who quickly says “I told you so” when you screw up. Or someone who encourages you to give up instead of encouraging you to do your best.
Why do we do this? Why do we treat ourselves in such horrible ways? For some, the negative self-talk is so bad that it would literally be considered verbal abuse if coming from another person. Do any of these sound familiar? “I’m not good enough.” “I knew I’d fail.” “I can’t believe I messed it up again.” “Why can’t I be more like (fill in the blank)?” “I don’t deserve to be happy.” If someone said these things to you, imagine the impact it would have on your confidence.
Negative self-talk can easily turn into a damaging self-fulfilling prophecy where you live down–instead of up–to expectations. It’s a bad habit that could strangle any growth and needs to be dealt with now. This is not “friend” talk. Yet it’s exactly the kind of destructive feedback we give ourselves.
