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How to Feed a Vegetarian

Meeting the Needs of Meatless Eaters

-- By Stepfanie Romine, Staff Writer
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It’s 6 o’clock. Your guests should be arriving in less than an hour. Then your friend calls. Guess who’s coming to dinner? Her new boyfriend, who's a vegetarian.

One night at the dinner table, your teenage daughter announces that she’s vegetarian and will no longer be eating meat, fish, dairy, or eggs.

Gulp.

That throws a wrench in your plans, doesn’t it? What do vegetarians eat? Is he going to start spouting off about animal rights as your husband carves the Christmas ham? Is she going to expect an entirely separate meal?

You can relax, even if you don’t know much about vegetarian cooking.  Have no fear. Cooking for a vegetarian is easy, and by the time you read our guide to feeding a vegetarian, you’ll be all set.

You probably have quite a few vegetarian meals in your repertoire and likely have at least a couple of vegetables and meatless foods on the menu or in the fridge.

As the name implies, vegetarians eat vegetables, but vegetarian cuisine is vast and exciting. With a few simple tips, any meal can accommodate a vegetarian, whether you have five minutes’ or a week’s notice.

First up, let’s figure out what “vegetarian” actually means. Some people call themselves “vegetarians” but eat fish or chicken, and others are much stricter about what they’ll eat.

Glossary
  • Pescetarian: Someone who doesn’t eat meat but eats fish or seafood.
  • Flexitarian: A hip and trendy word for what some people call a semi-vegetarian. Someone who isn’t a vegetarian but eats several vegetarian meals a week and might be selective about what types of meat she does eat (such as organic chicken only) and how often.
  • Vegetarian: Someone who doesn’t eat any meat, including poultry, game, fish, and seafood, or any meat by-products, such as broth, gravy, or fat, or foods cooked with meat. A vegetarian may or may not eat other animals products like eggs or dairy (ovo-vegetarians do eat eggs, lacto-vegetarians still eat dairy products, and ovo-lacto vegetarians eats both eggs and dairy).
  • Vegan: A strict vegetarian (see above) who doesn’t eat anything that comes from an animal—no meat, dairy products, eggs, honey or other animal by-products.
Here is some helpful (and humorous) advice about feeding a vegetarian and anyone else with dietary restrictions. We’ve called upon experts, SparkPeople members, and personal experience to offer tips to help everyone break bread in peace.

How to Feed a Vegetarian: The Do’s and Don’ts
  • DO be honest. Please don’t try to sneak meat, broth, or seafood into a vegetarian's food. If you put bacon in the broccoli salad, chicken broth in the risotto, or lard in the pie crust, tell your guests.
  • DO invite them. I would have invited you, but I didn’t think you’d...feel comfortable, eat anything I served, enjoy yourself, etc. Even a serious lack of veggie-friendly food isn’t going to stop the fun if the people and atmosphere are warm and inviting.
  • DON'T apologize. You eat meat. Some people don’t. You don’t have to apologize for eating meat in front of a vegetarian.
  • DON'T make a big deal about it. Vegetarians have various reasons for not eating meat, but some of those reasons might not be ideal dinner table or cocktail party discussions. Perhaps save the discussion for another time.
  • DON'T be afraid to ask questions. Ask what foods your guest eats and likes. Perhaps you’ll find a new family favorite or elevate a vegetable from side dish to entrée status.
  • DO ask your guest to bring a dish. Most vegetarians have experience cooking for themselves. Let them bring food to share, if they wish. Many will do it without being asked.
  • DON'T be offended if he brings food. Many vegetarians don’t want to complicate your duties as host. They will often bring something they know they can eat and share with others, so don't take it personally.
  • DO cook enough food. Make sure there is enough of the vegetarian dish for everyone to try (because they will) and for the vegetarians to take seconds.
Beyond Broccoli: Tips on What to Cook

Consider a DIY meal. Put all the toppings or sides in separate dishes so everyone can accommodate their own lactose intolerance, aversion to spice, or vegan diet. How about a burrito bar? (Make some soy crumbles or sauté onions, peppers, and mushrooms for everyone.) What about a pasta buffet? (Serve pasta, sautéed vegetables, sausage or grilled chicken for the meat eaters, Alfredo and marinara sauces, and cheese, then let everyone build a bowl.) Or what about a pizza party? (Buy or make pizza dough, then let everyone make their own pizzas. Kids love this!)

Separate the meat and vegetables. Cook and serve meat in one dish, vegetables in another. If you had planned to roast yams with the ham, use two dishes. Making pasta? Cook sauce and set some aside before adding sausage or meat. Serve gravy on the side, and if you’re adding bacon to your baked potatoes, serve it separately. When grilling, clean part of the grill thoroughly or use foil to cook vegetables or veggie patties.

Use separate serving dishes, utensils and cutlery. That’s actually just a good kitchen tip in general: Never put cooked food on a plate or in a bowl that held raw meat, and use separate cutting boards and knives for vegetables, meat, and poultry.
 
More Ideas for Those who Have a Vegetarian at Home
  • Learn where meat hides. Sometimes meat sneaks in to foods that you wouldn’t suspect. Some common foods that contain meat or seafood: Caesar dressing (anchovies), Thai curry and many Asian dishes (fish sauce), and canned “vegetable” soups (beef or chicken broth).
     
  • Salads are great. Serve a large green salad before or with the meal, which ensures a healthful option for all. With a couple of hard-boiled eggs or a handful of nuts, that salad can be elevated to a vegetarian entrée.
     
  • Where’s the beef? Try to offer a balanced meal. Vegetarians sometimes have to be creative to get adequate protein, calcium, and nutrients. Help them out by serving a balanced meal where plant-based proteins (chickpeas, black beans, or lentils) fill in the place where meat might have been. This boosts the protein content, filling power, and helps round out a meal. Beans and legumes are a cheap and easy way to add vegetarian-friendly foods to a meal. Open, rinse, heat, and eat.
     
  • Egg them on. Eggs are super easy and fast to cook. Scrambled, hard-boiled, poached, or fried, you can whip up a vegetarian entrée in no time. Try a veggie packed frittata or quiche.
     
  • Go flexitarian. Once a week or more, try something new, such as tofu, seitan (wheat gluten), or tempeh (a fermented soy food). Plenty of familiar foods can be both delicious and vegetarian: Lasagna, almost any pasta, chili, stir-fries, and soups (use veggie broth) can all be made without meat.
This has been a public serving announcement from your friendly neighborhood vegetarians, most of whom would never expect you to go out of your way to accommodate them. But your vegetarian friends and loved ones will appreciate your consideration, and chances are, you’ll become a more experienced (and healthful) host in the process.
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About The Author

Stepfanie Romine Stepfanie Romine
A former newspaper reporter, Stepfanie now writes about nutrition, health, fitness and cooking. She is a certified Ashtanga yoga teacher who enjoys running, international travel and all kinds of vegetables. See all of Stepfanie's articles.

Member Comments

  • BAMAJAM
    Just recently Burger King is offering "Veggie Burgers".... new on the menu! - 4/12/2013 12:02:16 PM
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  • JWAYNE90
    I'm a vegan (2 years, vegetarian 6 years before that) and I'm not going to read the comments here because I dont care to be insulted by strangers on the internet making assumptions about my dietary choices.
    Anywho
    I just have to say that I'd disagree with the salad tip because I have to say that my biggest pet peeve is people assuming that because Im a vegan I love salad.
    Just remember that vegans are people too. We have favorite foods and preferences and we're more than happy to settle for the occasional salad when nothing else is available.
    Always feel free to ask questions about preferences. I usually just bring my own food with me to parties
    A recent bbq I went to I was the only non-meat eater. I brought myself a veggie burger (since everyone else would have their own burgers) and I brought homemade cupcakes so when it came time for dessert i wouldnt be left out. Everyone loved my cupcakes and couldnt beleive they didnt have egg or dairy. - 11/8/2012 10:14:41 PM
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  • MELBBART
    Please don't just serve cheese either. I'm a vegetarian and I've been served several meals where the meat is replaced with cheese (think cheese wellington...gros
    s). I like cheese and all, but not that much! I am always happy with salads and sides, no need to cook something extra in my opinion. If I know there won't be a ton of options I usually don't go to someone's house super hungry. - 11/8/2012 9:56:20 PM
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  • SNOWCROW
    I've been a vegetarian due to a developed meat allergy since 2009. I have a couple of things to say here. First, I can't only speak for myself but I actually will tell people not to accommodate me food wise when I come visit. Well my sister-in-law took that as a challenge and started learning how to cook vegetarian food and my brother learned too. Now I can proudly say that my big brother makes the best portabello burger on the planet! LOL The point is that I never expect anyone to accommodate and will go out of my way to make certain that my host or hostess doesn't feel awkward or uncomfortable. Honestly, I have always worried that if I should up with a dish that my host or hostess would feel insulted so I haven't. But from now on I will offer to do so! Great idea!

    I also wanted to say one thing about fixing a meal for a vegetarian. Not all of us are fans of salads simply because we are vegetarian. Over these last few years I have come to dread the word "salad". Going out to eat is the worst sometimes because I've had most waitstaff persons roll there eyes, sigh and say "Well we can always make you a salad and just take the meat off". Or when I do go to someone's house for a meal they say "Well a salad would be fine with you then huh?". To be honest, I don't like cold salads for the most part. I also have come to find it almost (not quite but almost) insulting to have people assume that just because I don't eat meat all I eat is salads. I usually keep my cool, smile, and explain that there are far more options than a salad that is typically drenched in some high calorie dressings. I know this makes me sound like a ...well an unkind person. I'm not. But just because someone isn't a vegetarian doesn't mean I'm going to assume they would love to have shark steak cooked on the grill when they come to my house for dinner. The stereotype attached to vegetarians is just narrow-minded. Not to mention boring.

    I am grateful to those of my friends who get excited about learning a new recipe that's vegetarian and consid... - 11/8/2012 2:07:06 PM
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  • CREDERE
    Well I'm glad to see that Spark is spreading how to deal with a vegetarian guest gracefully, even if the comments show that it's not going to be taken into affect by most of the viewers. I can't believe the comments I'm seeing.. making your child eat meat even if they don't want to, just because you want it to come from a dead animal? Expecting a vegetarian to cook a meal that has meat is a little silly, I think. That's doing something they are against. You are not against eating vegetables, so you can handle our food just fine. I'm also sure you could bring your own meat filled dish to one of their dinner parties and eat away. I'm pollopescatarian, I eat chicken/turkey and fish. I don't eat any red meat or pork. It makes me literally ill. The smell of it cooking, the smell of it after... all I can smell is a dead animal. That's not a choice. I use to eat it all and it was fine, then one day my body just went "nope". But, I've been the all across the spectrum after it started, vegan and vegetarian. But that doesn't make me wrong, and it certainly doesn't make having me over as a guest impossible. I live in BBQ territory, Usually any one I get invited to there are no vegetarian options. I just don't eat, but I still have quite a great time talking with my neighbors or friends. My fiance' and our son both eat all meat, but neither like fish. We still eat together just fine as a family. Sometimes we have different entree's but we still eat together and enjoy each other's company. If trying to work with someone different than yourself becomes such a negative thing, then something tells me that most vegetarians/vegan
    s wouldn't want to be at one of your dinner parties anyway. We're all different on this planet, and if we can't work together, with a bit of decorum when it comes to something as simple as food.. well that doesn't give me much hope for anything else. - 11/8/2012 1:58:35 PM
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  • STARLIGHTSHADOW
    I'm a flexi/pescatarian
    . Always have been, even as a child I wasn't too fond of the taste of meat but you could never keep me away from the seafood dishes.I was a strict vegan (including no honey) for almost a year in college, then ovo-lacto vegetarian for another two. Ended up with B vitamin deficiencies because the supplements didn't work and have come full circle since. Still don't really like the taste of meat but sometimes my body just tells me it NEEDS something like a steak now or it'll go on strike again, and I tend to listen.

    Re: Invitations. If I know in advance that there's going to be vegan guests, I'll make sure they have a meal accommodating their preferences. Last-minute vegans are SOL, though- I always have at least one, more likely two ovo-lacto vegetarian friendly dishes on the menu but vegan takes a lot of effort in a friend-to-mostly-
    omnivores' kitchen and I need to plan to be able to make everything from scratch for them. I see it like having a recovering alcoholic as a guest- if I know beforehand I can substitute for the alcohol going into most sauces. If I don't, I cook the way I've learned from childhood and will hopefully have something for them.

    I love cooking for my friends, but I need to know the meal will be tasty, and just slapping something together for the sake of it being in alignment with whatever philosophy isn't worth the effort to me.

    Food allergies are an entirely different thing, though- I'll religiously accommodate honest, needs-an-epi-pen ones. Blood-type diet things... not so much. If someone comes to dinner and expects me to follow something as ridiculous as a warning that a combination of cucumbers and anchovies or whatever will cause them to gain weight... well, don't come to dinner is all I'll say on that. Funnily enough, all resistance disappears after a taste of the dish more often than not. - 11/8/2012 12:58:02 PM
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  • TOOCREATIVES
    I agree with BARBARASCH when she mentions that vegans or vegetarians tend to impose their preferences and expect others to follow it, when if the we go to their house we don't get the same treatment. I believe that when it's something that can cause an allergic reaction, then it must be eliminated. Medical reasons should be attended to but not personal preferences. Because, when it comes to preferences, well, if I was going to accommodate all my friends preferences for dinner, I'd be cooking about 3 or 4 different meals!
    And I don't think TIMOTHYNOHE was wrong. If it's a last minute thing, then I'm sorry he'll have to settle with the food I've made. If I'm told in advance, then I'll cook a dish that everyone will eat. I refuse to have to spend more money just because of someone's choice. - 11/8/2012 11:03:02 AM
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  • KRISTEN_SAYS
    I'm a vegetarian, and I've found that most people are accommodating when it comes to including something that I can eat. Biggest pet peeve though - when someone presents a dish with some meat in it, for example - a salad, and says to me, "there's not a lot of meat in here, you can pick around it." Noooo thank you. I went to a wedding a few months ago, and there was no vegetarian entree. I had a baked potato because that was the only vegetarian-friend
    ly item. Most of the time I eat something beforehand because I never know how much I'll be able to eat. - 11/8/2012 11:00:35 AM
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  • TIEDYED69PEACE
    Ninja-
    I am a flexitarian, and I guess it depends on the the person, but it isn't easy for me.... I wouldn't call myself NORMAL. I make a point to eat meat at max once a week. Often times I can go a month without eating meat. It is definitely a lifestyle change, and one that I feel much better on. I have turned down many delicious looking meat dishes for my new lifestyle, and it isn't easy to explain to people how I prefer not to eat meat, that I don't keep meat products in the house etc. I am flexitarian for the health and environmental benefits: why be so negative? If you are vegetarian/vegan, then you should be proud of flexitarians one step closer to the lifestyle you chose for whatever reasons, and if you are not but also don't keep an open mind to vegetarians of all types, then why are you reading this article? - 11/8/2012 10:52:51 AM
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  • MICNJ43
    Fortunatley, I have never encounter this at my house. When I was at the railroad one of my employees was vegas. This was in the early middle 1990s. There were also some reports of parents that were raising children vegan and they got very sick and died. I just cuationed my emplyee to keep all options open. I do know she moved on to another position and got married and began to have a family;children. - 11/8/2012 10:08:26 AM
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  • ZUZUBEAT
    Good article- as a vegan, I have to emphasize the "DON'T LIE" rule. Ingesting even a tiny bit of dairy makes me sick for DAYS. - 11/8/2012 8:56:14 AM
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  • BARBARASCH
    @FROMNEBRASKA: I don't think that TIMOTHYNOHE's comment is bluntly ignorant. You might not have made this experience, but almost all the vegetarians around me expect a "clean" meal when I invite them over to dinner. I cannot even serve the broccoli with the same spoon as my fish. But they would never ever think about going through the fuss to prepare a meal according to my PREFERENCES (so, including meat, because I like to eat it). Being vegetarian is a preference. Something you and other people decided, just like I did not to be one. E.g. I am highly allergic when it comes to seafood. Definetly not a preference since I love prawns. It is a NECESSITY for me not to eat that.
    I know there are different mentalities out there when it comes to being a vegetarian, but somehow I only met the ones on a mission, which is totally annoying. Result? We don't have dinner or any other meal anymore together. - 10/22/2012 10:05:14 AM
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  • KDRIS73
    Going to have to agree with TIMOTHYNOHE up to a point. If it's a last second bomb being dropped that "hey, I'm a vegan", well they may have to make do with just a salad. Obviously if it's planned there's time to make a few extras as long as it isn't a militant vegan who wants to push their choices on me (sorry had a run in or two with the PETA crowd).

    Another thought: If my daughter came home and told me that she was now a vegetarian... I think I'd tell her to finish her venison before she left the table, she can try that meat is murder nonsense once she lives on her own. Nothing against vegans, I've eaten plenty of greens in my lifetime... but I prefer my protein to come in the form of a nice juicy chunk of dead animal.
    - 8/14/2012 10:06:04 AM
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  • DESERTJULZ
    Excellent article. Suggested future articles: "how to feed a vegan," "how to feed a raw-foods vegan." (grinning) - 6/30/2012 1:21:12 PM
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  • MAGGIE101857
    As with any lifestyle, there are those that are easy to accommodate and those that make their choices "the only way" to eat or live. I have a mixed household - true meat lovers, true vegetarians, and me (caught in the middle)! My goal is to adopt more of a vegetarian lifestyle, simply because I believe it is better for me; my meat lover does his best to derail my efforts. I need to put my foot down and take responsibility for me! As for my vegetarian daughter, she can be difficult and doesn't plan well when she comes to visit. Again, I need to put my foot down and get her to help out when she is in our home!

    Bottom line is we should all be able to live and eat together without anyone feeling that their way is best! We can all learn from each other and make our own choices! Happy eating everyone!! - 6/9/2012 7:29:34 AM
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