Motivation Articles

Stop Dieting and Start Living!

Have You Made the Change?

You’ve heard it so many times that you probably say it in your sleep. "Diets don’t work; if you want to lose weight and keep it off, you have to make a lifestyle change."

But what does a lifestyle change look or feel like, and how do you know when you’ve made one? The way some people talk about it, you’d think there’s some sort of mystical wisdom you get when you “make the change” that tells you when and what to eat, and how to stop worrying about the number on the scale. Does this mean you’ll finally stop craving chocolate and start liking tofu?

The basic difference between a diet mentality and a lifestyle mentality is simply a matter of perspective. Having the right perspective may not make tofu taste better than chocolate, but it can make all the difference in the world when it comes to achieving your goals, avoiding unnecessary suffering along the way, and hanging onto your achievements over the long haul.

Trust me on this. I’ve lost well over 350 pounds in my life—I know how to do that. But I also put 200 of those back on again, getting bigger each time. The 150 pounds I lost a few years ago is staying off, because I’ve changed my perspective.

Here are the main ways a diet differs from a lifestyle:
  1. A diet is all about numbers—the number on the scale and the number of calories you eat and burn. Success is defined in terms of how well you stick to your numbers.

    A lifestyle change is all about you. It’s about lining up your eating and physical activity with your real goals and desires. Success is defined in terms of how these changes make you feel about yourself.
  2. The diet mentality assumes that reaching a certain weight is the key to finding happiness and solving other problems. That’s why messing up the numbers on any given day can be so upsetting—it means you’ve messed up on just about everything that really matters.

    The lifestyle approach assumes that being overweight is usually the result of other problems, not the cause. Addressing these problems directly is the best way to solve both the problems themselves and your weight issues. This means focusing on many things, not just the numbers on the scale or the Nutrition Tracker. Numbers only tell a small part of the story, and “bad” numbers often provide good clues into areas that need attention.
  3. Going on a diet involves an external and temporary change in eating technique. You start counting and measuring, and you stop eating some foods and substitute others, based on the rules of whatever diet plan you are using. Maybe you throw in some exercise to burn a few extra calories. You assume that it’s the technique that produces the results, not you. The results of a diet are external; if you’re lucky, you may change on the outside—but not on the inside. Once you reach your goal weight, you don’t need the technique anymore, and things gradually go back to “normal.” So does your weight—and then some. And, of course, all the problems you hoped the weight loss would solve are still there.

    Making a lifestyle change involves an internal and permanent change in your relationship with food, eating, and physical activity. You recognize that the primary problem isn’t what you eat, or even how much you eat, but how and why you eat. Eating mindlessly and impulsively (without intention or awareness) and/or using food to manage your emotions and distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts—this is what really needs to change. Learning to take good care of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually—so that you don’t want to use eating to solve problems it really can’t—is a lifelong learning process that is constantly changing as your needs and circumstances change. Continued ›
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About The Author

Dean Anderson Dean Anderson
Dean Anderson has master's degrees in human services (behavioral psychology/stress management) and liberal studies. His interest in healthy living began at the age of 50 when he confronted his own morbid obesity and health issues. He joined SparkPeople and lost 150 pounds and regained his health. Dean has earned a personal training certification from ACE and received training as a lifestyle and weight management consultant. See all of Dean's articles.

Member Comments

  • Just what I needed to hear too! Thank you! - 1/20/2015 2:04:50 PM
    this is by far the best article that i ever read about weight loss and healthy lifestyle...i never knew the differences between those I know where I went wrong and what I have to correct in my conceptions. thank you for all your articles. they’re a necessary piece to this puzzle (weight loss journey). I really appreciate your dedication and service, and I know others do too! thk :x - 1/11/2015 10:50:52 AM
    One of the most impactful articles I have read in quite a while. Thank you!! - 3/17/2014 6:59:44 AM
  • This is the best article I've read in a long, long time. The title is a bit misleading, but it got my attention, so maybe it's the best title. I am going to save this link, and put a reminder to read it once a month.
    Thank you, Mr. Anderson! - 11/28/2013 5:49:49 PM
  • Great article! Exactly what I needed to hear. - 11/28/2013 7:51:56 AM
  • Loved the article :) is there anyway I can bookmark it so I can find it easily later on when I want to come back to it? - 9/26/2013 1:53:29 PM
  • Loved the article. - 9/7/2013 1:43:27 PM
  • Nice article, definitely helped me change my perspective. NOW I will be shifting my focus from deprivation to loving and nurturing myself with healthy food. I will also be seeking the external factors that are CAUSING me to medicate with food and confront them. Being overweight is not a main root of my unhappiness, it's an effect of those issues I haven't addressed. Lord give me strength!!! * :-S - 9/6/2013 2:08:46 PM
  • Great article! Spot on! Eat to live,not live to eat! - 9/6/2013 1:26:16 PM
  • From the start of this go around with my weight, I always said that this is a lifestyle change. That was my mind set, from the beginning. I had no concept of what it really meant, except I knew that I needed to change my life and what I was doing, before I died!!!

    This article was right on time, explaining the concepts of dieting and lifestyle change. The lifestyle change, hit me right between the eyes, and it was right on target, with what I'm going through.

    Thanks you, for this article!!!

    Be blessed,

    - Nancy Jean - - 8/6/2013 9:35:09 AM
  • I really needed to read this article, it has help me see "diet" in a completely different light and yes, I want to start living not dieting! - 8/2/2013 7:06:36 PM
  • This article was very helpful for me:o) - 7/24/2013 10:10:04 AM
  • ALLECIA1986
    This is a great article, I have been on diets numerous time and lost weight but i always gain it back because these diets where never realistic. I am trying this time to make it a lifestyle change. Thank u for this article.
    - 5/28/2013 2:18:15 PM
  • BREIT67
    This is a great article. Thanks! - 3/1/2013 7:46:03 AM
  • Great Article Dean. Like it very much. God Blessings To Everyone and Have a Wonderful Week. Take Care. - 2/7/2013 5:26:06 AM

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