3 Ways to Stop Negative Thinking

Don't Let Negative Thoughts Sabotage Your Efforts

-- By Dean Anderson, Behavioral Psychology Expert

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For example, what would have to be true in order for going over your calorie limit to mean that you've “blown” your diet? Wouldn’t it have to be true that your diet is a one-day event that requires a perfect performance on your part? You know that's not the case.

2. Learn to Argue with Yourself

Once you recognize some of your automatic thoughts, you can inspect them and, if necessary, argue with them. The flaw in the above example is pretty obvious: Permanent weight loss is not a short-term project, and doesn’t require perfection. But sometimes the flaw or assumption won’t be as obvious. If that's the case, then you may need to do some investigating.

Before you jump to conclusions or attack your own character, ask yourself a few basic questions:

If someone I respect did exactly what I did, would I come to the same conclusion about them that I’m coming to about myself?
If someone came to me asking for advice about how to deal with this problem, what would I say to them? Would I tell them it’s a lost cause?
How does my conclusion help solve the problem? Does deciding that I’m a "lazy slug" without willpower empower me or enable me to do better next time? What thoughts would do that?
Is this a problem that lots of people have or am I the only one facing it? What do other people think or do when they run into this problem?
Is this problem a general pattern in my life or am I blowing one incident out of proportion? Are there times when I do well at things that clearly require willpower and self-discipline—like going to work every day and taking care of my family?
Have I put the same amount of time and effort into thinking about solutions as I have into listing the problems?

The more of these questions that you ask yourself, the more easily you’ll be able to spot—and correct—your negative automatic thoughts that are lurking underneath your tendency to assume the worst whenever things don’t go the way you planned.

3. Do What Doesn't Come Naturally

One reason that negative thoughts become so automatic and pervasive in our minds is that they are consistent with our typical feelings. If you find yourself jumping to negative conclusions about yourself, your abilities, and your options and opportunities, it’s probably because that feels “right” and comfortable to you.

This doesn't mean you have to figure out why it feels "right" to feel bad about yourself. Again, you'll simply respond better to doing things differently, rather than spending hours rooting through emotional baggage.
Continued ›

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About The Author

Dean Anderson
Dean Anderson has master's degrees in human services (behavioral psychology/stress management) and liberal studies. His interest in healthy living began at the age of 50 when he confronted his own morbid obesity and health issues. He joined SparkPeople and lost 150 pounds and regained his health. Dean has earned a personal training certification from ACE and received training as a lifestyle and weight management consultant. See all of Dean's articles.

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Member Comments

HYFAX1

Very good article. Our flesh always wants to do what isn't right; more food, more rest, more mindless entertainment. We let our flesh convince us that these things will make us happy. In reality, the opposite is true. We are designed to set goals and achieve them. This is where happiness is found. - 4/14/2013 9:32:56 PM
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SNOWBIRDCAROL

Loved the article, it really hit the nail on the head as that is exactly how I was feeling when I blew it all. I was thinking that I'm destined to be overweight forever & what's the sense it even trying, I may as well sit in front of the tv & pig out every day. This article has been a great help! - 3/14/2013 10:11:22 AM
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EBOUE77

could anyone can tell me the price of Omega3 EPA+DHA〉81
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Thanks. - 1/5/2013 12:57:01 AM
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ROBINRS

Great suggestion -- now to remember them and actually put them to use when I need them. - 11/26/2012 9:28:43 PM
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JAVAMONSTER

A similar technique I was taught to reduce the number of negative thoughts banging around in my head was to say "STOP!" to myself as soon as one of those negative tape loops started. I was warned that once you notice how many times the negative thoughts, they come faster and faster, like the high point of a bell-curve diagram. The frequency will go down, however, but once you begin with this method, you shouldn't stop using it until the number of neg thoughts goes down. It does work. - 11/26/2012 1:36:25 PM
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MISSBUNNY67

needed that so much!,
thanks :) - 11/26/2012 3:45:04 AM
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FOUREYEDFOOL

Very good article! It resonated with me, and I will be sure to use these tips :) - 11/22/2012 9:28:12 AM
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MSMOSTIMPROVED

I love surrounding myself with positive people too. It helps to have others remind you to think positively. - 10/27/2012 9:14:48 PM
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CANDO20K

VERY INTERESTING!
A GREAT WAY TO START THE DAY. - 10/6/2012 3:46:25 PM
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MRSORR44

Wow, you really opened my eyes, loved it. - 10/6/2012 12:20:37 AM
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FLUFFYTOFIT45

This really got to me. I have been trying for 8-9 years and I always give up because I am so hard on myself and expect perfection. Now, I will expect to give into temptation sometimes but I will also expect to get right back up and learn from it. Beating myself up will not solve anything and neither will outrageous expectations. - 9/26/2012 11:25:17 AM
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LAUZII123

Just what i needed to hear, thank you x - 7/22/2012 7:59:01 AM
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JULESJ1OK

Excellent article. I am by nature a very positive and outgoing person but once in a blue moon I have to deal with a situation that can bring me down and then I have to find the positive and pull myself out of the negativity. I will save this article and also pass it on to family and friends. Thank you for sharing this~Jules - 7/8/2012 12:10:25 AM
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SABLENESS

Thank you! I needed this pick-me-up today. Recognized my recent thinking far too clearly. - 7/6/2012 11:33:20 AM
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DENSYLH1964

This article was great. I could identiufy with so much of what was said - now i know what I need to do about it. - 7/3/2012 8:21:06 AM
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