Motivation Articles

Government Adjusts Weight System to Help Country Lose Pounds

A Quick-Fix Solution for the Obesity Epidemic

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WASHINGTON DC, APRIL 1--
Alarmed by a growing obesity rate across the country over the last decade, the United States Government has instituted sweeping changes in its system of measurements and weights.

The most significant change involves increasing the value of the pound. One current pound will be valued as 1.1 pounds under the new system. What does this mean? Fewer pounds per person. For example, a person who previously weighed 167 pounds would now weigh just 152 pounds.

"We think these changes will help the country solve its obesity problem," said April Wahn, Community Director of the US Department of Agriculture (USDA). "When eating right and exercising don’t work, these new standards can help people reach a healthier weight. It’s not the only answer, but it’s a start."

To underscore this point, Wahn estimates that this change alone would bring the number of overweight Americans down dramatically, from 63% to 49%.

To help people adjust, the US Office of Weights and Standards will make available scale calibration kits that can be used to bring any scale in line with the new standards. You can call 1-800-000-0401 to receive your free kit.

Consumer groups are responding to this change with enthusiasm. One local news editorial claimed, "It’s about time the government stepped in and did something about the country’s weight problem. It needs to be fixed – and quick." 10,000 scale calibration kits have already been distributed. But the biggest challenges in retail packaging, fishing regulations, and newborn weighing still remain.

"This isn’t going to be something we can incorporate overnight," continued Wahn. "It could take years and millions and millions of dollars. But in the face of unhealthy weight levels, we’re running out of options."

Wahn refused to comment on the growing opinion that numbers on the scale are becoming increasingly unimportant in the creation of a healthy lifestyle.

In related news, Happy April Fool's Day from SparkPeople!
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About The Author

Mike Kramer Mike Kramer
As a writer and artist, Mike has witnessed countless motivational stories and techniques. See all of Mike's articles.

Member Comments

  • Hope this was an April Fools Joke!!!! Cause that would not solve anything!! - 4/4/2013 8:47:44 AM
  • Hope this was an April Fools Joke!!!! Cause that would not solve anything!! - 4/4/2013 8:47:44 AM
  • I was reading this, and thinking to myself that it won't solve the problem, just mask it. Then I started thinking this has to be a joke. Then when I saw the end I realized it was April 1st!!!!!! DUH!!!
    Too funny
    - 4/1/2013 12:11:37 PM
  • Yikes, I did not know this was a joke! Please disregard my previous comment. That will teach me to "skim" and not read to the end from now on! :))
    - 4/2/2012 11:17:37 PM
  • This makes no sense to me whatsoever! I'm not going to conform or calibrate my scale. It has taken me 3 months to lose 21 pounds by hard work and determination and with the help of SparkPeople.com. Right now I weigh exactly what the example was, so at 167 pounds, I can, in the blink of an eye, now weight 152 pounds. That's just ridiculous! More hard work and determination will get me to 152 pounds! - 4/2/2012 11:11:39 PM
  • Well, the opposite happened in the late '90s when they lowered what it was to be in the "Healthy BMI Range" ... at first I saw the plausibility of this ... maybe a mistake WAS made! (also that it would more harmonize with the meters-kilograms-
    second system of unit measurement used by MOST OF THE REST OF THE WORLD ... lol)

    Then I laughed.

    The mirror does not lie, and it does not distort, either; but statistics jugglers have to earn a living ... - 4/2/2012 2:13:23 PM
  • Wow, I have to be honest and say that I was one of those who actually took this serious at first. Happy April's fool indeed - 4/2/2012 12:52:36 AM
  • Oh Thank GOD I read to the end!! I wouldn't put it past the government one little bit to do something just this foolish!! - 4/2/2012 12:07:09 AM
  • OTERO222
    Nice! I couldn't help reading this and wondering how they could do this or how they thought it really would help! haha... I told my husband mid-way though how I couldn't believe they could do this and that it wouldn't change anything in real terms... he just laughed at me ... then when I told him the bottom said it was April Fools he just laughed harder at me! HAHA! I'm glad it's NOT true! Goes to show don't believe everything you read on the internet! =p - 4/1/2012 11:38:44 PM
  • EMMYLOU010409
    While reading this article, all I could think of was in terms of DAYLIGHT SAVINGS
    -------
    When told the reason for daylight savings time the Old Indian said, "Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket."
    -------
    - 4/1/2012 11:08:49 PM
  • got me too. I thought what in the world. Happy April 1st! - 4/1/2012 11:07:37 PM
  • This was hilarious! I agree with Happy-Destiny. It would not have suprised me in the least if our government actually tried this.

    Thanks for the laugh. It helped my day. :) - 4/1/2012 10:49:58 PM
  • I was so confused...hahaha - 4/1/2012 10:47:39 PM
  • This sure can help me more quickly reach goal! Oh, yuh, this works for ME !!! lol - 4/1/2012 10:30:40 PM
  • It took me a minute :) I read it a couple of times and thought I must be missing something. . . . definitely was. Thanks for the humor! - 4/1/2012 10:29:18 PM

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