Of course, by acting differently than I normally would have, I had already let her win. She wanted to make me feel bad, and she succeeded. I should've said something. I should've drank my soda and told her I'd pay for another. I should've asked to speak with her supervisor. Something. But I didn't do any of that. I just let her walk all over me.
You might think that was the moment I turned my life around, but no. The next couple of days came and went. I felt miserable about myself and stuffed my face with cookies, which made me feel even more miserable. I knew I needed to get control of the situation, but I had no idea how. My whole family is obese and I have been for most of my life. I didn't grow up eating well-balanced meals at home. We ordered out all of the time, sometimes more than once a day. Nutrition labels meant nothing to me. The only ways I thought of trying to lose weight were drastic. I had briefly tried Medifast, but I was so calorically deprived that I felt weak all of the time and was extremely moody. I had tried restricting what I ate on my own, but experienced similar results. In both cases, my diet would last a couple of weeks and end by bingeing when I just couldn't take it anymore. I hated myself for it. I figured that losing weight was something I was just never going to be able to achieve. I was always going to be fat—someone to be made fun of at restaurants.
''I Thought I'd Always Be Fat''
One Member Shares What a Difference a Year Makes
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