Motivation Articles

''I Thought I'd Always Be Fat''

One Member Shares What a Difference a Year Makes

One year ago, I went to lunch with a co-worker. When the waitress came over to take our drink order, I ordered a Diet Coke. The woman looked me up and down, snorted, then asked, "Diet?" in a very snotty voice. I just sat very still and said, yes. My co-worker kept his gaze down and pretended it didn't happen. I made a face, but then thought that maybe the slight was in my head. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive. Maybe she wasn't making a comment on my weight. When she came back with my soda and my co-worker's iced tea, she also brought a glass of water. As she placed my soda down onto the table she said, "Now drink your water. There's 'no refills' on soda." Throughout the meal she came by and refilled my co-worker's iced tea and gave me dirty looks. It was completely and totally humiliating. I didn't finish my meal or the soda. I wanted to. I was hungry. I just couldn't let her win.

Of course, by acting differently than I normally would have, I had already let her win. She wanted to make me feel bad, and she succeeded. I should've said something. I should've drank my soda and told her I'd pay for another. I should've asked to speak with her supervisor. Something. But I didn't do any of that. I just let her walk all over me.

You might think that was the moment I turned my life around, but no. The next couple of days came and went. I felt miserable about myself and stuffed my face with cookies, which made me feel even more miserable. I knew I needed to get control of the situation, but I had no idea how. My whole family is obese and I have been for most of my life. I didn't grow up eating well-balanced meals at home. We ordered out all of the time, sometimes more than once a day. Nutrition labels meant nothing to me. The only ways I thought of trying to lose weight were drastic. I had briefly tried Medifast, but I was so calorically deprived that I felt weak all of the time and was extremely moody. I had tried restricting what I ate on my own, but experienced similar results. In both cases, my diet would last a couple of weeks and end by bingeing when I just couldn't take it anymore. I hated myself for it. I figured that losing weight was something I was just never going to be able to achieve. I was always going to be fat—someone to be made fun of at restaurants.
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Member Comments

    Thank you for sharing! It helped me today! - 11/9/2015 5:18:56 PM
  • Thank you - it is so nice to not feel alone in this process - 11/9/2015 9:35:58 AM
  • Thank you Alexa for sharing your story. So motivating, that was just what I needed. - 8/13/2015 1:55:55 PM
  • I read this early this morning, and it's just what I needed to motivate me today. So, thank you for sharing! - 8/6/2015 2:29:01 PM
  • Thank you and congrats. - 8/6/2015 9:00:14 AM
  • Thank you for sharing your story with us you hit the nail right on the head with this one. That's exactly how I feel like im always going to be fat but you have motivated me to stop being lazy & start getting busy no one is going to do this for me but me.

    Thank you so much : ) - 8/5/2015 7:54:49 AM
  • Thank you for sharing! This article gave me the motivation I was looking for today. - 7/21/2015 10:29:21 AM
  • Alexa, I had the same one year SparkPeople progress from 2X and 20 down to 10/12, with only 24 more pounds to reach my maintenance goal. It is all I can think about because even I am in disbelief, and I did the work! - 1/11/2015 12:01:17 AM
  • I enjoyed reading your story. It was very inspiring Alexa!! - 12/5/2014 10:07:01 PM
  • I've been in a rut and I landed upon this article. So moving! Thank you for sharing your story.

    "Don't stress if you ate McDonald's three times yesterday, if you ate a whole pack of Oreos just now or if you just ate your weight in Ben & Jerry's last week. Tomorrow really is a new day. That's not just a saying. Life isn't all or nothing. And neither is the weight loss process. You don't have to give up anything that you don't want to. You don't have to starve yourself. You don't have to hate yourself. You just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on going." Thank you! - 10/20/2014 12:04:16 PM
    I hope 365 days from now I am a healthier me! Such an inspirational story! - 10/15/2014 3:30:05 PM
  • Such a great story! A story of encouragement to others in the same place you were to give hope that others can find success in the weight loss journey and be successful too! Thank you for your blog! - 10/9/2014 7:32:12 AM
    Wow! Such a great article on a day I need it! - 9/30/2014 4:32:49 PM
  • I just joined Sparkpeople a few hours ago and your article was so inspirational, it gives me hope. Thank you so much for sharing your story. - 8/27/2014 5:24:10 AM
    I am so glad I read this article. I have lost 11 pounds in last 3 months, hasnt been easy. But feels like I have just hit a wall. I know I need to keep going. But one failure leads to another and I have let 2 weeks pass by and added the 3 pounds back. I am going to dust off and start again. Thank you! - 8/5/2014 9:06:41 PM

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