8 Ways to Be a Happier Mom

While our greatest hope is for our children to turn into happy adults, most of us moms grit our teeth a fair amount on the road there. After we hustle our kids off to soccer practice, shop for dinner and hunt down the perfect kindergarten, we are left with little inspiration to model the one thing we most wish for our children: happiness. It’s not that we don’t want to be happy. It’s more a question of how to fit it into our schedule. Read on for some practical tips from parenting experts on how to move "be happy" to the top of your to-do list.

1. Be Yourself
Much of our stress and irritation as parents comes from trying to live up to impossible standards. “Mothers universally feel that they ‘are never good enough,’” says Meg Meeker, MD, author of The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity. A lot of these feelings of inadequacy come from comparing ourselves with other moms and competing in ways both small (bringing an elaborate dish to the potluck) and large (pushing our kids to achieve on the playing field). “It's tempting to look around us to see if we measure up with other moms,” says Meagan Francis, author of The Happiest Mom: 10 Secrets to Enjoying Motherhood, “but when we're comparing our private lives to somebody else's public game face, we're not getting a very accurate picture.” Francis adds that the best way to be a happy mom—and a good mom—is to be yourself. “Don't try to be anyone else's version of what a good mother should be,” Francis says. “Be the best version of who you are, and your children will recognize that and learn from it." Think about your own strengths and work them into your everyday life as a mom. Maybe sewing costumes isn't your thing, but you love to bake. This Halloween, buy costumes even though all the other moms are making theirs, and instead bake a batch of cookies to munch on while you all get ready to go trick-or-treating. When you play up your strengths as a parent, you are bound to have more fun and be happier.

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Healthy Food Awards: Best Frozen Treats

The healthiest desserts from your grocery store's freezer, tasted and approved by editors and nutritionists.
 
Haagen-Dazs Milk Chocolate Five
Listen up, chocoholics: This rich, creamy ice cream is your dream come true. Calories per 1/2 cup: 220

Ciao Bella Raspberry Sorbet
"It's bursting with flavor!" one staffer proclaimed. Others called it refreshing, with just the right amount of sweetness. Calories per 1/2 cup: 120

Blue Bunny White Chocolate Raspberry All Natural Frozen Yogurt
"This tastes like real ice cream," one tester told us. The dark chocolate chunks, found in every spoonful, were a crowd favorite. Calories per 1/2 cup: 120
 
See other top contenders here!

Posted 7/21/2011  6:00:00 AM By:   : 33 comments   16,224 views

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How to Complain Effectively in Any Situation

Life may give you plenty of opportunities to gripe, but knowing the right way to complain and get a positive result in return can be tricky in most everyday situations. Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness, says that you can strike a balance between passively keeping your complaints to yourself and screaming about cold coffee by being assertive when an issue arises. Ask yourself if the aggravating situation will matter in a week or a month, suggests life coach Valorie Burton, founder of the Coaching & Positive Psychology Institute and author of Where Will You Go from Here? If the answer is yes, then learn how to complain effectively by following this situation-based advice.


Your neighbor’s dog does number two in your yard…again.

If you're tired of finding surprises left by Fido, before approaching your neighbors for the first time, give them the benefit of the doubt in order to avoid a huge confrontation. Try saying, “You guys are probably unaware of this, but your dog has been doing his business all over our yard. Any ideas on how we can keep him out?” Guy Winch, PhD, author of The Squeaky Wheel, says they are more likely to comply if they don’t feel that they are to blame. However, if they insist that it can’t be their dog but you are certain because you saw him commit the deed, you should let them know. “If the idea of a confrontation is intimidating, you can tell them in writing," suggests Dr. Winch. Drop off a simple note stating: “I just wanted to clarify that I saw Rover ‘fertilize’ my yard several times. I’m letting you know because I assumed you were unaware of what he was doing and I would like to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

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Shape Up Your Golf Swing

As golfers gear up for the new season, many will be struck by how rusty their swings feel. 

In order to get back into a golfing rhythm while helping prevent an injury on the driving range or course, here are five core principles of the golf swing. Each tip is accompanied by an exercise that helps one physically master it.

Grip
Bill McInerney Sr., a former professional golfer who's the founder of McGolf, Ltd. in Dedham, Mass., said the key to a good grip is to hold the club with the same tension as you would throwing a baseball or football.

McInerney often notices golfers who hold the club in their palm, rather than their fingers, the latter of which allows for greater control of the club on the backswing.

Try an inverted row to build finger strength, said Anthony Connors, the Director of Sports Performance at the golf fitness club Drive 495 in New York City. Accomplish the horizontal pulling motion by lying underneath a barbell and pulling your chest up to it.

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Balancing Family, Friends and Finances

They say that friends and money don’t mix—and for good reason. Finances can turn relationships sour on a dime because “there are power and etiquette issues involved,” says Laura Rowley, personal finance expert with Yahoo! Finance. “The way that you handle money can trigger a lot of emotions in terms of how you see yourself in the world.” Because of how tightly feelings are intertwined with finances, people often don’t speak up because they don't want to be seen as cheap or ungrateful, which can lead to resentment and possibly ruin the relationship. But you don't have to suffer in silence anymore! Whether your friend is a notoriously bad tipper or you aren’t sure how to ask your colleagues to contribute to a charitable cause, below are 10 common cash clashes with etiquette advice on how to settle them.
 

Your brother wants to borrow money, but he never paid you back the last time you lent him cash.

“If you’re going to give money to a family member, you have to think of it as a gift, and accept that you may never see it again,” says Rowley. “Loans that are never paid back can destroy relationships.” Not ready to part with your cash forever? In that case, Rowley recommends handling the loan in a more professional manner by using a service like LoanBack.com, which helps you create a legally binding loan agreement, or LendingKarma.com, which lets you document and track your loan. However, if you’re simply not comfortable lending money to a relative, your best bet is to just be honest. “Rather than just saying 'no' and risking resentment, give him a concrete reason that you can't help him out. Say that you’re saving for your kids’ college fund or are earmarking the cash for groceries.”

And if the deal has already transpired? Rowley recommends picking a time when money will change hands—like while you’re getting coffee together or are out to dinner—to remind him about the loan. When the check arrives, consider saying something like, “Since I lent you $20 last month, why don’t you pick up dinner? Then we’ll be even.” When larger amounts of money are at stake, consider writing an email so he can save face in case he forgot about the loan or isn’t able to pay you back right away.

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'I Lost 70 Pounds': Sweet Revenge*

Name: Janet Shelton
Age: 35
Height: 5'7"
Her Weight Before: 220
Her Weight After: 150
Pounds Lost: 70
At Current Weight: 18 months

During her 20s, Janet Shelton experienced love, marriage...and sugar binges. "It got so bad that I'd wake up in the middle of the night craving a Little Debbie snack cake," says the waitress from Altavista, Virginia. Daylong, out-of-control snacking pushed her weight to 220 pounds.

Hungry for Love
That zippy teenage metabolism is a fleeting thing. Growing up, Janet ate stick-to-your-ribs (and thighs) food like pot roast, corn bread, and mashed potatoes. But even though she was inactive, her weight stayed at around 150 pounds through high school and college. She began gaining after she met her husband-to-be. "We ate out every night," she says. "A typical date was Chinese food, followed by popcorn at the movies, and then dessert on the way home." The junk-food habit stuck -- long after her wedding and the birth of her two children. By 31, Janet tipped the scale at 220 pounds. "I was so unhappy," she remembers. "But I wasn't ready to give up my favorite foods."

Kids Say the Darndest Things
Then one day the Twix bar didn't taste so sweet. Out of the blue, Janet's 6-year-old daughter looked at her and asked, "Mommy, how long are you going to live?" "It blew me away," Janet says. "I realized I had been putting my short-term pleasure ahead of my health." Right then, she started replacing fried foods and sugary desserts with fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Instead of walking to the kitchen, she walked outside for 30 minutes three times a week. The result? Off came 20 pounds in two months. Janet bumped up the walking to running, added weight training, and shed 50 more pounds over the next eight months.
Today Janet has several triathlons and marathons under her much smaller belt. "Now that my life no longer revolves around food, I can handle any challenge." Take that, Little Debbie!

Next:  Janet's Weight-Loss Plan

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Conquer Summer Health Conditions

Keep this chart handy to help prevent and treat poison ivy, Lyme disease and other seasonal ailments. From heat exhaustion and poisonous plants to Lyme disease and West Nile Virus, our friends at Woman's Day have all the details you need.

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Stay Active to Prevent Back Pain

The remedy for back pain used to be rest and more rest. But recent guidelines say that the key to beating back pain is in staying active. Here, how to treat and prevent an aching back.

How to Treat Back Pain

There's nothing like all-consuming back pain to make you want to become one with the couch. If you've been there, you know what we mean. If not, consider yourself lucky: It's pretty easy to push your back's intricately entwined bones, muscles, tendons, and ligaments out of their comfort zone. "We see a lot of women in their 20s and 30s coming in with back pain because they've returned to a sport out of condition or suddenly upped their exercise intensity," says Daveed Frazier, MD, an assistant clinical professor of orthopedic surgery at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York City. "Our bodies just aren't designed to absorb the abuse we give them."

When pain strikes, your initial response might be to rest. "But even just a few days of lying idle can lead to deconditioning and further harm," says Roger Chou, MD, director of clinical guidelines development for the American Pain Society (APS). "Staying active helps keep the muscles and tendons loose and strong." In fact, the thinking about back pain has shifted so much that the APS and the American College of Physicians recently released new treatment guidelines. Read on for the latest in pain prevention.

Your First Defense Against Back Pain

Rule out red flags. In rare incidences, back pain is caused by an ailment such as a kidney infection or even cancer. If you suspect your ache might be a side effect of a medical issue, if you have a fever, or if you've been in an accident, call your doctor ASAP.

Apply heat. A well-placed pack of frozen peas might reduce swelling or ease pain, but heat is a sure thing. Whether from a warm bath or a heating pad, it loosens strained muscles.

Get up. "Staying in bed, given the accompanying muscle weakness and stiffness, does more harm than walking ever could," says Dr. Chou. As soon as you can, resume regular activities and light workouts, but keep strenuous exercise on hold. (That means no Spinning class, Miss I-Must-Not-Skip-the-Gym.) If movement is too painful (more than 5 on a scale of 0 to 10), lie on your back with a pillow under your knees for a few hours before trying again.

Walk this way. Shuffling like the Tin Man may help you get from point A to point B faster, but those movements stiffen your already sore muscles. Instead, try walking with a long, slow, fluid gait, which releases muscle tension and lubricates joints.

Get relief. While pain meds won't speed your healing, they may get you back on your feet faster. The first bottle to open is acetaminophen, says Dr. Chou. (It's virtually free of side effects.) If you don't have an ulcer and you think your ache is muscle-based, you can try an over-the-counter anti-inflammatory such as ibuprofen. For blinding pain, ask your doctor for something stronger, like a muscle relaxant.

Wait it out. "Most people show significant improvement over the first seven days," says Dr. Chou. (By six weeks, back pain disappears for 90 percent of people.) If you're not even starting to feel better within a few weeks and treatments just aren't working, consider seeing a back specialist, such as an orthopedist, who can determine if you have the usual "nonspecific back pain" or something more complicated.

Next: Get More Strength and Flexibility to Help Your Back Pain

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3 Common Beach Myths—Debunked

Before you jump into the pool less than an hour after eating, you may want to read this. Below, the experts weigh in on whether it’s OK to go straight from noshing to swimming, plus two other popular beachtime beliefs.

“Jellyfish sting? Pee on it!”

False. The notion behind this old wives’ tale—that you need something to neutralize the painful jellyfish toxin—is correct, but urine doesn’t work. The best remedy, according to the Red Cross, is to soak the wound in vinegar, rubbing alcohol or a combination of baking soda and seawater (don’t use drinking water, which can activate the toxins and increase the pain). Don’t rub the wound, either (that will spread the toxin). Call 911 if you have a history of allergic reactions or if you start to have trouble breathing.

“Getting a base tan before vacation will protect you from a sunburn.”

False. Any tan is a sign of sun damage. Plus, “having a base tan is barely the equivalent of wearing SPF 4,” so it won’t do much to prevent a burn, says D’Anne Kleinsmith, MD, spokes woman for the American Academy of Dermatology. The best way to avoid turning lobster-red? Lather on a sunscreen with SPF 30 or higher and reapply at least every two hours.

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Kara Goucher's 6 Tips for Beginning Runners

Even if you've never run before, or have taken a long break, you can get into a routine without injury or agony. Olympic distance runner Kara Goucher shares 6 posture tips that will help you run more smoothly and efficiently. From Kara Goucher’s Running for Women: From First Steps to Marathons.

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9 Things Your Pharmacist Wants to Tell You

Prescription drug use in the U.S. has steadily been on the rise, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. In 2007-2008, the number of Americans who had recently taken prescription drugs rose to 48 percent, a jump from 44 percent 10 years earlier. If you are part of this growing trend of prescription drug takers, it's important to learn as much as you can about your medication, like why you are taking it and what the potential side effects are—and pharmacists can help provide this vital information. Woman's Day spoke with three pharmacists to find out what patients need to keep in mind when it comes to prescription medication. From protecting your family from drug abuse to opting for generic brands, here are nine things your pharmacist wants you to know.
 
1. Pharmacists are medical experts.
While you may think pharmacists are more like technicians, they're actually far more qualified than that. "A lot of people think the level of competence ends at making sure you get the right drug in the right bottle," says Wendy Duncan, Pharm.D, dean of pharmacy at the St. Louis College of Pharmacy. "That's an important part of what a pharmacist does, but they're also the most highly educated health professional in the area of medication. They know more than physicians about medications and doses, their side effects, the kind of forms they're in…everything." And this should be reassuring, adds Keith Hodges, Pharm.D, owner of Gloucester Pharmacy in Gloucester, Virginia, because your pharmacist is the last line of defense between you and your medication.

2. You're not asking enough questions.
Being educated about your medication and its possible side effects is crucial to keeping yourself safe. And unfortunately not enough people take the extra steps to educate themselves. "A lot of people feel embarrassed to ask questions, but health literacy is a really, really big problem in the United States," Dr. Duncan says. Dr. Hodges strongly agrees. "I can't tell you how many people come in and don't know what their medication is for. People need to know what they're taking. They should know all the medications they're taking, what they're used for, and their possible complications," he says. "Knowledge makes a healthier patient."

3. Follow your dosage instructions!
Admit it: You've been guilty of skipping one of your pills and just taking two the next time, or even stopping altogether once you're feeling better. Not only can this be dangerous to your health, but it's actually dangerous to us all. "Once people feel better, they stop taking the medication. But what ends up happening is they have a little antibiotic left around, and they might use it when they feel sick again. But antibiotics are very directed, so if it's for a specific bacterium it may not work. So you can develop resistance," says Dr. Duncan. "And over time, it means an antibiotic becomes ineffective so we have to find new entities and that takes a long time. Like MRSA [methicillin-resistant staph infection] right now; people die from that. And it's something people are shocked about because we've only had antibiotics around for a half a century. So if we're not careful, we may lose antibiotics and we'll end up in the same situation our great, great grandparents were in." If you have stopped taking your medications, or continually miss doses, be sure to contact your pharmacist or physician immediately to find out how to proceed.

What else does your pharmacist want to tell you?

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Finding Freedom from Numbers

by Whitney Fretham (FIT-WHIT)

When I first sat down to consider what I should write about for this blog, I opened blank document and set out a plan. As I was cramping the end of my second page, I stopped, reread my windy thoughts, sat back and thought, "Who wrote this?" I had gotten myself wrapped up into this "persona" of what I thought a health-blog-writer should write like and think like and say. My writing became just another way for me to try to conform into a preconceived notion of who I should be.

I think this happens to us all along our journeys to a healthy life. It's especially easy to get caught up in what we *think* we should do, who we should be, and how the "perfect" end result will equate that proves we are a success: If the numbers don't all add up, somehow we feel we're not really "there," or have failed in some way.

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Win the Battle of the 'Menopause Belly' Bulge

Editor's Note: Cathy Cram, M.S., is the resident maternal fitness expert on our sister site, BabyFit.com. She writes a monthly series on menopause health and fitness.

By Cathy Cram, M.S.

One of the first changes many postmenopausal women notice is a subtle shift in how fat is distributed on their bodies. Women who never had much belly fat see the beginnings of a pad of fat the front and sides of their abdomens, and women who have always had a bit of a tummy notice it's much more pronounced. This change in body fat storage after menopause is referred to as the "menopause belly."

My own experience with menopause belly started with tummy jiggle whenever I drove over a bumpy road as well as finding that my favorite jeans suddenly were harder to zip up. My abdomen wasn't the area where I normally stored fat (my arms provide that reservoir) so it was a perplexing new problem. I was curious about whether other postmenopausal women experienced the same situation, so I questioned my 50ish friends to see if they'd noticed any changes in the size of their waist. Nearly all of the women I asked lamented about the appearance of their "menopause belly." We all laughed about this new and unwelcome addition, but in reality our expanding waistlines became less funny when entire wardrobes no longer fit.

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All-Natural Ways to Fight Bloating

By Amanda Greene of WomansDay.com

Most of us are familiar with bloating—that uncomfortable, swollen feeling in your belly. Whether the bloating is caused by water retention, gas or constipation, you don't necessarily need to head to the pharmacy right away to find relief. The edibles below may be able to help, thanks to their natural anti-bloating properties. But before you chow down, check with your physician to make sure your symptoms aren't indicative of a more serious issue.

Papaya

"The enzyme papain, which is found in papaya, is very similar to some of the digestive enzymes secreted by the pancreas to help break down proteins in food," says Timothy Harlan, MD, medical director at the Tulane University School of Medicine and author of "Just Tell Me What to Eat." Data, including a 2009 study in the Journal of Medicinal Food, has suggested the tropical fruit may help with many aspects of digestion, which can help ease bloating related to constipation or gas. To reap the maximum benefits of the enzyme, eat papaya whole or blend it into a smoothie—fruit juices are often devoid of essential vitamins and nutrients. And that goes for vitamins, too. "Taking papaya extract (papain) in supplement form would not be as beneficial as obtaining it from the whole papaya because the vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals and enzymes in whole foods interact to impart health benefits greater than an isolated nutrient or compound," says Kari Kooi, RD, corporate wellness dietician at The Methodist Hospital in Houston.

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Will Power: Find Your Inner Cause

By Beth Donovan (~INDYGIRL)

I honestly have very little will power and I’ll be the first to admit it. So, how did I lose 150 pounds and counting? How did I make it through a whole year of a plateau after losing 100 pounds? How do I get myself to the gym when I want to lie in bed under a heating pad and take medicine? I really had to dig to answer these questions.

My ah-ha moment was when I wanted some motivation. I was lying in bed on my lap top and looking for a picture of someone so fat they couldn't walk. Then it dawned on me that I was that person. My BFF was also getting out, shopping and going places and I was just lying in my room waiting to die. I wanted a life again. I wanted to shop with her, get mani-pedis, have a job again and feel like part of the world around me. It was definitely enough to get me started on my journey. I don’t know if this alone would have carried me through as far as I’ve come, however.

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