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Are You Always Trying to do Everything for Everyone?

By , SparkPeople Blogger
I like to write blogs based on subjects I can relate to because I think what I’ve written ends up being more interesting.   If that’s the case, this should be the most interesting thing I’ve ever talked about because I felt like the results of this study were speaking directly to me.  And I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Being a mom is a very rewarding job.  But if I’m honest, I’ll admit that it’s also very hard and sometimes very stressful.  I don’t make it easy on myself, because I feel like I have to do everything for everyone, all the time.  My husband has always been more than willing to help out in any way that I ask.  But he works long hours and his paycheck makes it possible for me to work part-time and be home with our kids a lot.  So I feel like the home is my responsibility.  When he is home, I want him to be able to spend time with the kids instead of cooking dinner, folding laundry, cleaning, etc.  That’s just part of the reason I try to do everything.  I know I’m making myself sound like I’m a very traditional housewife, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  But it’s funny that I don’t consider myself to be traditional at all. 
This mentality I can’t seem to get rid of has put a lot of pressure on me.  I feel guilty going out and doing things alone because I know how hard it can be to manage three little ones at home on your own.  At the same time, I start to feel burnout when I don’t get much free time to myself.  I’ve always felt like I’m the crazy mom who can’t seem to find balance, while everyone else has it all figured out.  That is, until I read a recent survey conducted by Real Simple magazine and the Families and Work Institute
The survey, published in the April 2012 issue of Real Simple, asked over 3,000 women questions about how they manage their time, specifically free time.  The majority of the women surveyed say they do most of the housework and chores themselves.  One in three said they don’t delegate tasks to their spouse/partner because they feel like it won’t get done to their standards.   Oh boy, this is me.  My husband is willing to take on regular chores around the house.  But he never gets them done fast enough or exactly the way I’d prefer, so in the end I decide it’s easier for me to do it myself.
According to the survey, “61% of women overall feel guilty when they choose to spend time on themselves.”  Oh boy, that’s me too.  It’s funny how I went from doing things for myself all the time before kids, to doing almost nothing for myself now.   It’s not because others don’t encourage me to, it’s because I’m stubborn and not easily convinced to change.
“When asked which chore they would like to get off their plates the most, women overwhelmingly said “cleaning.” Yet surprisingly, the second-place response was “nothing,” which implies that women may actually enjoy their daily tasks—or are so used to doing them, they can no longer distinguish work time from leisure time in their minds.”    Leisure time?  Can you tell me again what that is, exactly?  Just kidding.
Can you relate?  Even if you don’t have children or your kids are grown, do you tend to shoulder most of the household responsibilities?  Are you able to make time for yourself?  How do you do it?