There’s one in every crowd— at the office, in your church group, among your closest friends and family. Sometimes they mean well, sometimes they seem a tad malicious, often they have no idea how they’re sabotaging you. But every time you take a step forward to gain dominion over food, they’re at your elbow-- offering you a brownie, some chips, an extra heaping helping of pasta.|
SparkPeople member Amy S. has been there with boyfriends, co-workers, and friends. "Either they bring in high cal food and offer it around, or they actually tell me it doesn't matter if I eat high cal stuff, and try to persuade me to do it," she says.
What’s going on? Why does it seem that people close to you go out of their way to sabotage you?
Experts sum it up in one word—Change. Getting fit through diet and exercise creates big changes in your life—changes you welcome. But if your friends and family aren't in the same mode of change, they can be oblivious, jealous, and uncomfortable with your changes. Perhaps:
Don’t assume the worst. Unless sabotage is blatantly deliberate, give saboteurs the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their motives. If your mother serves you lasagna—your favorite-- perhaps it’s because she equates food with love, not that she wants you fat. At any rate, it doesn’t pay to get defensive.
Just say no. You wouldn’t expect to have a drink forced on you if you were a recovering alcoholic, and you shouldn’t have to submit to having fattening food foisted on you. Tell the food pusher, "No, thanks," and leave it at that. You don't owe an explanation. Nor do you need to feel guilty if you choose to avoid someone who’s not helpful to your cause.