How to Feed a Vegetarian

It’s 6 o’clock. Your guests should be arriving in less than an hour. Then your friend calls. Guess who’s coming to dinner? Her new boyfriend, who's a vegetarian.

One night at the dinner table, your teenage daughter announces that she’s vegetarian and will no longer be eating meat, fish, dairy, or eggs.

Gulp.

That throws a wrench in your plans, doesn’t it? What do vegetarians eat? Is he going to start spouting off about animal rights as your husband carves the Christmas ham? Is she going to expect an entirely separate meal?

You can relax, even if you don’t know much about vegetarian cooking.  Have no fear. Cooking for a vegetarian is easy, and by the time you read our guide to feeding a vegetarian, you’ll be all set.

You probably have quite a few vegetarian meals in your repertoire and likely have at least a couple of vegetables and meatless foods on the menu or in the fridge.

As the name implies, vegetarians eat vegetables, but vegetarian cuisine is vast and exciting. With a few simple tips, any meal can accommodate a vegetarian, whether you have five minutes’ or a week’s notice.

First up, let’s figure out what “vegetarian” actually means. Some people call themselves “vegetarians” but eat fish or chicken, and others are much stricter about what they’ll eat.

Glossary
  • Pescetarian: Someone who doesn’t eat meat but eats fish or seafood.
  • Flexitarian: A hip and trendy word for what some people call a semi-vegetarian. Someone who isn’t a vegetarian but eats several vegetarian meals a week and might be selective about what types of meat she does eat (such as organic chicken only) and how often.
  • Vegetarian: Someone who doesn’t eat any meat, including poultry, game, fish, and seafood, or any meat by-products, such as broth, gravy, or fat, or foods cooked with meat. A vegetarian may or may not eat other animals products like eggs or dairy (ovo-vegetarians do eat eggs, lacto-vegetarians still eat dairy products, and ovo-lacto vegetarians eats both eggs and dairy).
  • Vegan: A strict vegetarian (see above) who doesn’t eat anything that comes from an animal—no meat, dairy products, eggs, honey or other animal by-products.
Here is some helpful (and humorous) advice about feeding a vegetarian and anyone else with dietary restrictions. We’ve called upon experts, SparkPeople members, and personal experience to offer tips to help everyone break bread in peace.

How to Feed a Vegetarian: The Do’s and Don’ts
  • DO be honest. Please don’t try to sneak meat, broth, or seafood into a vegetarian's food. If you put bacon in the broccoli salad, chicken broth in the risotto, or lard in the pie crust, tell your guests.
  • DO invite them. I would have invited you, but I didn’t think you’d...feel comfortable, eat anything I served, enjoy yourself, etc. Even a serious lack of veggie-friendly food isn’t going to stop the fun if the people and atmosphere are warm and inviting.
  • DON'T apologize. You eat meat. Some people don’t. You don’t have to apologize for eating meat in front of a vegetarian.
  • DON'T make a big deal about it. Vegetarians have various reasons for not eating meat, but some of those reasons might not be ideal dinner table or cocktail party discussions. Perhaps save the discussion for another time.
  • DON'T be afraid to ask questions. Ask what foods your guest eats and likes. Perhaps you’ll find a new family favorite or elevate a vegetable from side dish to entrée status.
  • DO ask your guest to bring a dish. Most vegetarians have experience cooking for themselves. Let them bring food to share, if they wish. Many will do it without being asked.
  • DON'T be offended if he brings food. Many vegetarians don’t want to complicate your duties as host. They will often bring something they know they can eat and share with others, so don't take it personally.
  • DO cook enough food. Make sure there is enough of the vegetarian dish for everyone to try (because they will) and for the vegetarians to take seconds.
Beyond Broccoli: Tips on What to Cook

Consider a DIY meal. Put all the toppings or sides in separate dishes so everyone can accommodate their own lactose intolerance, aversion to spice, or vegan diet. How about a burrito bar? (Make some soy crumbles or sauté onions, peppers, and mushrooms for everyone.) What about a pasta buffet? (Serve pasta, sautéed vegetables, sausage or grilled chicken for the meat eaters, Alfredo and marinara sauces, and cheese, then let everyone build a bowl.) Or what about a pizza party? (Buy or make pizza dough, then let everyone make their own pizzas. Kids love this!)

Separate the meat and vegetables. Cook and serve meat in one dish, vegetables in another. If you had planned to roast yams with the ham, use two dishes. Making pasta? Cook sauce and set some aside before adding sausage or meat. Serve gravy on the side, and if you’re adding bacon to your baked potatoes, serve it separately. When grilling, clean part of the grill thoroughly or use foil to cook vegetables or veggie patties.

Use separate serving dishes, utensils and cutlery. That’s actually just a good kitchen tip in general: Never put cooked food on a plate or in a bowl that held raw meat, and use separate cutting boards and knives for vegetables, meat, and poultry.
 
More Ideas for Those who Have a Vegetarian at Home

  • Learn where meat hides. Sometimes meat sneaks in to foods that you wouldn’t suspect. Some common foods that contain meat or seafood: Caesar dressing (anchovies), Thai curry and many Asian dishes (fish sauce), and canned “vegetable” soups (beef or chicken broth).
     
  • Salads are great. Serve a large green salad before or with the meal, which ensures a healthful option for all. With a couple of hard-boiled eggs or a handful of nuts, that salad can be elevated to a vegetarian entrée.
     
  • Where’s the beef? Try to offer a balanced meal. Vegetarians sometimes have to be creative to get adequate protein, calcium, and nutrients. Help them out by serving a balanced meal where plant-based proteins (chickpeas, black beans, or lentils) fill in the place where meat might have been. This boosts the protein content, filling power, and helps round out a meal. Beans and legumes are a cheap and easy way to add vegetarian-friendly foods to a meal. Open, rinse, heat, and eat.
     
  • Egg them on. Eggs are super easy and fast to cook. Scrambled, hard-boiled, poached, or fried, you can whip up a vegetarian entrée in no time. Try a veggie packed frittata or quiche.
     
  • Go flexitarian. Once a week or more, try something new, such as tofu, seitan (wheat gluten), or tempeh (a fermented soy food). Plenty of familiar foods can be both delicious and vegetarian: Lasagna, almost any pasta, chili, stir-fries, and soups (use veggie broth) can all be made without meat.
This has been a public serving announcement from your friendly neighborhood vegetarians, most of whom would never expect you to go out of your way to accommodate them. But your vegetarian friends and loved ones will appreciate your consideration, and chances are, you’ll become a more experienced (and healthful) host in the process.
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Member Comments

I went vegetarian before my hubby, so I would fix the meat he wanted, and the sides would all be veg. (since then, we have both gone completely plant based) If we had dinner guests I would have no issue doing the same as I used to do for him. I would happily fix some meat, as I know most people eat it. If you want to bring a dish that is great too. I am not going to be at all offended or think it rude.

We both went plant based due to health reasons, both have chronic illnesses, and high risk factors. We have experimented with different foods and ways of eating; this one just works for us. The lifestyle change was our decision, and realize it seems pretty extreme to most people. If we go somewhere we have no expectations of being catered to, we will happily have a salad, bring something, or just eat before we come over; it isn't a big deal to us either way. We tell everyone not to worry about us, we just want to enjoy catching up and visiting!
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More and more there are so many people that don't eat this or that, I think it is incredibly rude to go to someones house and denounce what they are serving because you have a special problem. I guess because we grew up with eating what was on the table and not wasting food, there was no option to not eat fat, meat, carbs, fish or eggs or what ever is in vogue now. I have long been allergic to pineapple but don't expect someone to cater to me with a special pineapple free meal, I eat what I can from what is available. Eating together is a social occasional not a stress event to cater to 20 different types of eating, if that is what has to happen, going to a restaurant together might be a better option. Report
As someone who is so new to the "vegetarian/vegan
" thing that I've literally still got meat in my freezer! lol My foray into cutting meat and dairy is because I've got some rather large "lumps" on my forehead and my dr.s cannot seem to figure out yet what has caused it...I wont get into the other effects its hit me with, but I will say its very painful. A few weeks ago I cut both meat and dairy and by the end of a week the lumps were reduced by 75 % and my eyes no longer felt like a brillo pad scoured them while I slept...my face was starting to be recognizable again! Then I started adding a tiny bit of meat back, and no bad effects returned. So I cut it out again, and a few days later added some cheeses and yogurt. BAM!!! It all came flooding back!! So obviously I cut it back out again! The thing is, I'm feeling a LOT better going without meat or dairy. Its been only 3 weeks since I first started this and the liver spots on my hands are even almost all gone! I'm not saying its a cure all, but for me its a really good thing. My kids still invite me over for dinner, and I bring my own meal! Its not a big deal! I just want to be around them! I've gotten nothing but positive encouragement from everyone around me, even though all of them eat meat and dairy. I don't expect anyone to cater to my needs, but it would sure be a nice surprise if they tried ;-) Report
How about a vegetarian who is lactose intolerant and gluten free? And has an aversion to doing work? Report
And there are some revolting negative comments on this article... it needs a clean up as does those posters attitudes. Report
Don't forget about gelatine. Another hidden part of a silly amount of food that no vegetarian would eat. Report
If only well meaning vegetarians wouldnt insist that brown rice and beans were better for my diabetes than meat and buttered greens. There are a couple of very rude vegans where I work that have to make their condescending comments about not eating anything with a face. They totally misunderstand about carbs turing to sugar. Report
I had a friend visit me years ago stating that she became a vegetarian. I put my thinking cap on and made her many delicious vegetarian meals. She loved the food, and I expanded my cooking abilities.

I don't require that a vegetarian bring his/ her own meal, but I am delighted if he/ she does.

I do an eggplant casserole as a vegetarian side dish, and always have black bean burgers in the fridge. I like the comment of doing a veggie pasta salad. I put homemade peanut sauce on mine. There are ways to make our vegetarian pals feel welcomed. Report
I do not think they eat eggs. Never thought of lard. I do not know any vegans. Report
ETHELMERZ
I love the vegetarians that you meet at fast food places, stuffing burgers into their mouths quickly, because they just "gotta have some meat", but when you go to their homes, they pretend they are high and mighty..... Report
Not sure vegan is good for you. Report
I used to have a big BBQ twice a year. Had at least 50 people there at a time. I prepared all the food and included the standard BBQ fare, but also some vegetarian dishes. I don't think anyone who came was vegetarian, but I would often prefer those dishes. They would include a veggie pasta salad with lentils, a baked pasta dish, a fruit salad and for those who did eat fish, peel and eat shrimp. I am a bit surprised at some strong comments. It's almost like who's right and who's wrong. Not a lot of tolerance and it's a bit sad. Report
No, please do not "egg them on" without checking! Many vegetarians and all vegans do not eat eggs. The commenter below me refuses to do anything for vegetarians. Okay. There's still things you can avoid - like being rude or intolerant, lying about ingredients etcetera.
Many of us are coming from a place of kindness (to animals) and we appreciate kindness in return (to us.) But hey, if you don't want to have us over, we are probably fine with that.

Great article! Thanks for posting it. Report
I refuse to cook a special meal for -tarians any more. On more than one occasion I've been asked to cook for church functions, and then have several different people ask for social versions...you've got one that wants no onions, one that wants no garlic, one that wants no meat but garlic is OK, and one that garlic is a demon. I've literally had to cook 4 or 5 versions of the same meal for 20 people on occasion. It gets to be impossible. For example, the "absolutely no onion" people cannot eat my spaghetti a sauce, canned spaghetti sauce, ketchup, ranch dressing, any other off the shelf dressing, seasoned salt, any mixed seasoning whatsoever, most store bought broths, etc. I've gently suggested that they bring something they are able to eat, but have been offended that they aren't catered to, and I cannot cook two entirely separate meals. So, they are no longer invited to any functions at our home. My message to any -tarians is this: when you are invited and you aren't willing to eat what The host serves, be honest. Tell the host you'd love to join but that you will bring your own food because you cannot eat (insert your issue here). Don't expect the host to make a separate meal. That is offensive. Then, at the meal, don't insist that what others choose to eat is bad, or cruel or whatever, based on your own beliefs. That will earn you a disinvite from my table for future gatherings pretty quickly (and it has happened on more than one occasion at my home by ungrateful vegans, onion haters and other haters who have been invited to my home). Report
My husband's work had ONE vegan (he has moved for work now). I researched and adapted a vegetarian recipe into a vegan one just for him at a giant Pot-luck Thanksgiving (or maybe Christmas) gathering. I had to do either turkey or ham, and figured nobody else would make anything he could have as a main (Despite about 60 people bringing things!) I was right, and even his choice of sides was limited since butter, cheese or mayonnaise was fairly prevalent. Non-vegetarians loved it too! Report


 

About The Author

Stepfanie Romine
Stepfanie Romine
A former newspaper reporter, Stepfanie now writes about nutrition, health, fitness and cooking. She is a certified Ashtanga yoga teacher who enjoys running, international travel and all kinds of vegetables. See all of Stepfanie's articles.


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