5 Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity

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Whether it’s your mom complimenting how you handled your two-year-old’s latest meltdown or a friend who notices how much weight you’ve lost, we all appreciate the occasional recognition of our efforts. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to pat you on the back on your journey to weight loss. There are times when comments hurt instead of help (whether intentionally or not), and how you react to criticism is key in maintaining your healthy life choices. Instead of burying your face in a pint of ice cream or letting those moments sap your motivation, embrace these five positive ways to handle negativity without missing a step.

Take charge of your reaction. It is hard to avoid blaming others when their negativity affects you. However, if the actions of others have an impact on how you are feeling or what you are doing, it’s likely because you are letting it. While you can’t control what someone else says, you can control your reaction. Negative comments can arise for a number of reasons--perhaps they are having problems in their own life and inadvertently took it out on you, they thought the comment would be helpful instead of hurtful or you simply took it in a way they did not intend. Even if the comment was mean-spirited, use the moment as a chance to refocus and commit to proving your critics wrong. Deep down, you know you can be successful and do anything you set your mind to.

Appreciate that this person has concern for you. Rather than immediately being offended, consider the intent of the comment. For example, a friend asks why you haven’t been exercising lately. Your first reaction might be to assume he or she thinks you are lazy, but perhaps he or she is asking out of concern for your health or your stress level and just wants to be sure you are okay. Take a deep breath and think before responding too quickly.

For every negative comment, make an effort to spread positivity. No one enjoys hearing something critical, so turn it around. Use moments of negativity as an opportunity to make someone else happy. If a co-worker criticizes your weight, make a point to tell another co-worker how nice they look today. Positive energy not only helps you feel better and allows you to brush off the negativity, but it might also make someone else’s day a little brighter.

Become a source of support for a negative person. Resist the urge to judge others and instead, ask if he or she is feeling okay or if anything is bothering them. If something is going on in their life and talking about the problem helps, you might play a part in stopping their cycle of negativity. Asking how a person is doing also helps you gain a better understanding of where he or she is coming from and why negative thoughts are a problem.

Reflect on what you are getting out of this negative relationship. If someone is constantly criticizing how you look, what you do or what you say, talk about how their words are affecting your life. If nothing changes, it might be time to walk away. At the very least, temporarily distancing yourself from this person will give you time to decide if the relationship is worth continuing. Walking away doesn’t mean you hate them, but rather that you care enough about your own well-being to put your needs first.     
 
It’s tough to keep a sunny disposition when you are surrounded by negativity. Keep in mind that you control your attitude and your outlook on life. Make the necessary changes in your life to create a more positive environment, and learn to take criticism lightly. At the end of the day, you will be happier, healthier and better off for the positive choices you are making.
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Member Comments

definitely easier said than done Report
Great advice! Thanks! Report
Tough to deal w/ negative people whom you can't get away from like coworkers or relatives. I do agree you can let them know you don't appreciate their comments or attitude. Report
It's best for my wellbeing to avoid and or leave toxic relationships. Report
Sometimes it can be difficult to get things back on track when interactions are routine. Just as we recognize a "baby step" approach to dieting and healthy lifestyle, that approach may also be viable in bringing toxic communication back to to the middle line. Start small, if and only if, the person is actually worth the effort. Also, an offensive approach is better than any defense. The objective is not to be liked. The objective is to be respected!
Just my opinion. Report
negative people always seem to need an audience Report
Good reminder thank you for sharing! Report
I had to walk away from a weight loss support group because it was toxic. There were several people there who trouble makers and the leadership was tolerating it. Felt like I was back in middle school. Glad I left. Report
I liked this article. It's a reminder to not give negative people control over how we feel about ourselves. Report
Great advice! Report
Negative people do not give constructive criticism. It's not in their skill set. Just walk away. Cut them out of your circle. Report
Great advice. I got out of a toxic work environment because I got tired of trying to elevate it. It was way too draining and I was tired and grumpy all the time. Sometimes you have to walk away. The job I have now is wonderful. Report
Thanks for this information. It is helpful. Report


 

About The Author

Jen Mueller
Jen Mueller
Jen received her master's degree in health promotion and education from the University of Cincinnati. A mom and avid runner, she is an ACE-certified personal trainer, health coach and medical exercise specialist, with additional certifications in behavior change, functional training and senior fitness. She is also a RRCA-certified running coach. See all of Jen's articles.