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I've been watching the Food Channel all day and I haven't seen one good recipe for socks!

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Everyone knows food is bad for you, but I don't know what else to eat! I must be eating right. I'm narrow at the top and wide at the bottom, just like the Food Pyramid! Potato chips aren't rubbery and blubbery like fat. They're crispy and crunchy like lettuce. That proves they're diet food! Diet Myth #173: Eating the candles on your birthday cake helps you burn calories. Thanks for the check-up, Doc! Can I get my SparkPoints now?
If you ask me, dieting is a piece of cake, but exercise is no walk in the park. Maybe that's why I'm not losing weight! If more than 50% of the population is obese, then I'm not overweight, I'm average! I tried all the fitness fads, but my doctor was right all along-- walking is still the best exercise. We have an excellent employee health plan: we built our parking garage 2 miles away from the office! They revised the Food Pyramind again.
Today at work, I received 650 E-mails from! Was that you? I need a big belly. You can't fit this much charm and personality into a small package!

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