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I've been watching the Food Channel all day and I haven't seen one good recipe for socks!

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

I had my plumber install new pipes. I got tired of fretting about my cholesterol! My favorite vegetable is pudding. I didn't know it was a vegetable until I saw it on a salad bar. I'd like a garden salad, some fresh fruit and a slice of tofu carefully arranged to look like a cheeseburger, shake and fries. I'm having trouble finding a good exercise partner. Tom Selleck, Brat Pitt and George Clooney all have unlisted phone numbers! Swimming isn't enough. Our veterinarian says we also have to pump iron three times a week!
I love crawling, but like most forms of cardio, it's murder on the knees! Don't worry about burning the calories-- that's already been done! Your thighs are so thin! What's your secret? Yoga? Pilates? Cardio? Liposuction? Eat less, exercise more, and alter your genetic code with the DNA of thin parents. Are you trying to auction your brussels sprouts again?
Unfortunately, I have one pair of running shoes and sixteen pairs of eating shoes! If you consider the wind-chill factor, adjust for inflation, and score on a curve, I only weigh 98 pounds!

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