Live Healthy & Happy
published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine shows that keeping a food diary may double your weight loss efforts.
Register for a free SparkPeople account & make losing weight easier!
Getting Started Guide
Dining Out Guide
Motivation to Move
Strength & Toning
Get Back on Track
Health & Wellness
Health & Wellness Options:
Cold & Flu
High Blood Pressure
Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
Pregnancy & Postpartum
Lifestyle Center Options:
Beauty & Style
The SparkPeople Blog
Fitness & Apparel
Access hundreds of thousands of recipes that are healthy and easy to make. Get full nutrition info for every recipe and track with one click!
Today's Featured Recipe:
Gluten-Free 'Almond Joy' Macaroons
Join Now for Free!
Getting Started Guide
Site Tour Videos
Frequently Asked Questions
Member Comments for the Article:
11 Nice Ways to Say 'No' to Food Pushers
Politely Turn Down Food at Parties and Gatherings
Leave a Comment
Return to Article
If its dessert I sometimes say I am full now but I will take a bit home for later...then I feed it to my skinny husband or I just "forget" to take the food home with me
I always tell them I am full. It's seems to make food pushers feel like they have done their job and stuffed you full.
Boy I'm grateful for my family, friends and acquaintances. I cant think of a single person who has ever tried to guilt/force me to eat anything! To begin with I think they all know Im adult enough to go pick out food I want to eat without them saying "here, try this" and if they do mention they made something Ive never had them say "I made this, you have to try it" (much less watch me to see if I did eat it). Maybe I just have family/friends that dont take things personally or get their feelings hurt easy, esp over someone not eating their food. Just sayin.
These are some great tips. It's sad though that we live in a society that places so much value on eating food (beyond the need for nutrition and life) that we bully each other when someone chooses to abstain from a single bite. I wish we could just say no and other people would respect us enough to leave it at that.
FYI to the person who feels that saying you are allergic encourages idiots not to believe anyone is allergic---So many people have food allergies or foods that impact their bodies. Certain spices have caused my throat to swell shut, which is why I have liquid benedryl in the house and the car. Black and red pepper can aggravate my gut to the point where it will take up to 10-14 days to get it back to normal and could cause a very embarrassing event! Anyone who doesn't accept this, or continues to force foods on you is not worth being polite to. AND I would suggest not ever eating anything in a home where you can't depend on the hostess! Good luck to all of us to only have kind and understanding friends!
My Mom is one the worst offenders. If you don't eat it it means her cooking has slipped. At 94 she is not going to change. So when I was home, before we sat down to eat, I told her I had lost 5 lbs which was very hard work and didn't want to gain it back, which meant I needed half the portion size that she used to give me. She was very understanding. As far as friends or acquaintences, I accept the portion they feel I must have and usually have a very small tsp sized amount right away in front of them, tell them it is indeed wonderful, and leave the rest on the plate. If any one asks, I just say I wish I could eat more, everything is so good, but I am uncomfortably full already. Not a lie and close enough to anyone's truth.
When all else fails I just say "So sorry. I am allergic to that". Works all the time.
Saw that folks who have weight-loss surgery have the hardest time with this--stating from their experiences how common this issue is even with waiters in restaurants (total strangers). Good skill to learn for everyone.
Love this article!
Oh but one other thing... really and truly unless you are the type of personality that CANNOT stop once you start. (i.e. it won't just be the day of the holiday, it's going to be weeks and weeks of binging), then if it is the ACTUAL DAY of the holiday with your family, a lot of times it's just easier to have a splurge day. It IS a feast day after all. Yes, there are too many parties and too much available food now (as somebody pointed out), but you don't have to go to every single one. Or if you are going to a lot of them you can say: "I'm sorry, we were just at another party and I ate a ton there. I just don't have room for more." And then just save your actual splurge for the actual holiday itself.
Not everyone, but a lot of people find one cheat day a week and holidays (like straight up legit holidays that are food oriented: christmas, halloween, new year's, thanksgiving. That's it. Not Flag day or columbus day or etc.) to be a good balance to maintain a long term lifestyle. After all is it realistic to think you are NEVER eating pie again? If not, why not just eat it on holidays and your birthday. Because eventually you will fall off the wagon, and if you do, and these people find out about it, you'll never hear the end of how they saw you eating pie that other time so what's different now?
We can choose our friends but we can't choose our families and sometimes you just have to do whatever you have to do to keep the peace.
okay holy crap guys... what is with all this goodie goodie, "OMG I would NEVER tell a lie!! Why would SparkPeople ever suggest such a thing!?!?!?!"
The bottom line is this: In SOME families, SOME people are REALLY pushy and they are looking for a fight/argument. "No, Thanks" or "I SAID no" is not going to be received by these people. They are going to say "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" and usually if you've noticeably lost weight they KNOW why. So they will start to psychoanalyze you and pressure you more. (And the reason is really very simple. It's not love and well meaning and whatever... it's that they are JEALOUS or feel GUILTY about their own lifestyle choices. YOU make them look bad by making better choices. YOU show them it can be done. And all their comfortable crutches are gone. Something this deeply ingrained in their psyche is not necessarily going to be shut down with honesty.
More likely it's just going to create a fight and a bunch of unnecessary drama. Unlike a lot of people, I don't actually think my business is everybody else's business. So yes, there are times when I lie to people when they are crossing boundaries and what I'm doing or not doing is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS and any other response is going to start a fight and stress.
People who don't WANT to have their entire holiday ruined with fights and contention often DO have to tell "white lies" or use diversion tactics because there is always that person or persons in a family who is spoiling for a fight. And it's not always about food. Sometimes it's about religion or politics. Sometimes you really CAN just be honest about things and it works depending on the situation, but sometimes it's just going to escalate things and make the time you have to spend talking about it take longer, by which point another relative can wander up and get involved in this "fake drama". (Some people LOVE drama and can't seem to live without it. "No" to these people is an invitation to start a bigger drama.)
I haven't encountered this yet since I started in March on my current journey. I have been eating small portions of what someone gives me or compensating the next day or later that same day. will keep these in mind.
I agree with Kitt, I just deflect. It is rare that someone presses beyond that point, unless I secretly want them to.
Leave a comment
to leave a comment.