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MOMIN09's Photo MOMIN09 Posts: 26,838
2/12/15 3:11 P

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Any update?

-Nicole

CAMO Crew BLC32

1st Half Marathon Complete! 2:58:57
2nd Half Marathon Complete! 2:52:42
3rd Half Marathon Complete! 3:00:54
4th Half Marathon Complete! 3:31:24
5th Half Marathon Complete! 3:20:33

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ARTISTCAT's Photo ARTISTCAT Posts: 371
10/17/14 11:50 A

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Hey CJGODESS101, how are you doing now? Have you been able to talk to DH?

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Chris


AMPROSKE1's Photo AMPROSKE1 SparkPoints: (65,348)
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10/3/14 8:02 P

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How does your husband feel about those two things? I wonder if it might encourage him to go ahead and start trying?
I think it is definitely responsible that he wants to pay down debt. Having a child can definitely change things financially, but it's one of those things I think you learn how to do because you have to.

Angela


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CJGODESS101's Photo CJGODESS101 SparkPoints: (30,781)
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10/3/14 3:31 P

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In a surprise twist to my saga 2 things have happened. First, I found out my sister has been trying for a while and has had a hard time conceiving. Second, my SIL is pregnant, she is my DH's younger brother's wife. I'm not sure how these 2 scenario's will play out in our struggle to find that balance.

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BERRYNINJA's Photo BERRYNINJA Posts: 244
9/26/14 10:38 A

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CJ,

With a new job and anxiety in the mix, that could be a definite factor in why he's not ready right now. It might not be that he has changed into not wanting kids, but more so the thinking that he can't handle it right now. It's good that you asked him to talk about it at his next appointment.

As far as the BC, check a few other stores or online for the size and get more from anywhere that you can. If you use the last 2 before you get more and are also feeling frisky, think about making out like teenagers, but not further than third base?

Bea
QTLADY's Photo QTLADY SparkPoints: (99,043)
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9/26/14 10:29 A

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Hi CJ,

I'm really sorry you are dealing with all of these emotions and frustrations. I agree with Artistcat. Maybe just give him some time to get used to the idea? I would say that at least you aren't in an extreme hurry due to age, but I also understand you would like to start your family after being married for 6 years. Perhaps if he can talk about it in his appointment, it will help him to be more aware of why he feels the way he does and maybe talk himself back into ttc.

I wish you the best during this time and maybe some other ladies have some wise words for you or maybe have gone through something similar.

Hugs!

Gwenn


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CJGODESS101's Photo CJGODESS101 SparkPoints: (30,781)
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9/26/14 9:40 A

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Thanks Artistcat. He turns 30 in November and I'm 28, we've been married for 6 years. I know some of his worries are BFP on the first try, another is our living situation. We currently have a 3 bedroom house, however it is on the other side of the city than we work, so we are moving in the spring to hopefully a rental townhome for a few years to build up some savings. He has quite a bit of student loan debt he wants to pay off.

Its weird because I really don't see it as a huge problem if we have children or not right now. I'm more of a go with the flow type of girl.

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ARTISTCAT's Photo ARTISTCAT Posts: 371
9/26/14 4:33 A

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Dear CJ, sorry to hear about your situation! I think it is good that you asked him to bring it up during his next appointment with his therapist.

Does your husband not want to have children anymore or does he just want to postpone it for a bit? If the latter, than I don't think you should worry too much about it. Give him some time to get used to the idea. From my own experience, I was dying to start TTC for quite some time (we couldn't because of our living situation). But when we finally started, I felt a sudden panic and kept thinking "maybe it's better if it doesn't happen the first month, I'm not ready!" I felt just starting TTC was a major change in my life.

How old are you? Are you in a hurry? If not, than maybe a few extra months for him to get used to the idea of actually really starting TTC is not a bad idea? It's not the end of the world (although it may seem like that).

And if it takes too long, maybe you can suggest going to the therapist together for one of the appointments? Just to talk things through.

I hope you can work things out!!

**********
Chris


CJGODESS101's Photo CJGODESS101 SparkPoints: (30,781)
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9/25/14 4:09 P

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OK so I was hoping to start TTC in June, then July, and finally got the go ahead from my doctor in August to start trying. Problem is, my hubby started a new job in August and doesn't want to start TTC yet.

We sat down the other other night to talk about this, now he isn't sure if he wants kids. He used to tell me he wanted kids and if I wasn't onboard maybe we shouldn't be together, this was about 3 years ago. The other thing that has been driving me crazy is now that I'm off BC, I'm more frisky then I used to be, and he is less frisky for some reason. I asked him if it had anything to do with the possibility of children and he thinks that may be part of it. Now these last 2 months its been even less. We are currently using barrier methods and the size he wears have been out of stock so we only have a couple left.

I'm not sure how to proceed with him at this point. I'm fine with just seeing what happens and going with nothing once these last 2 are used, but he seems to be hanging back. Does anyone have any thoughts on some options for us or how I should approach him on this? He is currently seeing someone for his anxiety disorder, and I asked he discuss a little of this at his next appointment, but I'm afraid I won't make it until his next appointment.

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