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NJFAMILYOF5's Photo NJFAMILYOF5 Posts: 5,646
2/16/18 1:56 P

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If we had a rampant epidemic of self-love then our health care costs would go down dramatically”
- Dr. Northrup
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One of the biggest challenges most people face is learning how to care for themselves. It requires a delicate balance between what often feels like polar opposites. I’ve spent a lifetime studying self-care. And I’ve come to the conclusion that good self-care is the single most important aspect of our health, period. The programming of self-sacrifice leads ultimately to health-destroying sentiments, such as guilt, resentment, anger, and other emotions linked to high levels of stress hormones. Self-sacrifice feels wrong to us on a soul level—our spirit gravitates naturally to joy and happiness. That’s why self-sacrifice ultimately makes us sick and keeps us stuck in dead-end situations.

How well we care for ourselves as adults is often determined in part by how well our mothers cared for us (and themselves). Ultimately, however, it’s our responsibility to learn how to optimally care for ourselves regardless of what happened (or didn’t) with our mothers. We refine this process throughout our entire lives.

The key is knowing in your heart that the best way you can care for others is by caring for yourself. I know this requires a paradigm shift for many of you! Despite what you’ve been brought up to believe, caring for oneself is not an example of a zero sum model—where your gain is someone else’s loss. Everyone benefits from someone who knows how to care for him or herself. Self-care sustains and enhances the health of all those around you. The flight attendants are right when they say: You have to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

​Seven Simple Steps For Enhancing Your Health Through Self-Care

Step 1 - Tap into the stream of healing energy regularly.

Your body is connected to a healing stream of energy (also known as chi, prana, light, Source, and God) that you can absorb at will. All you need to do is be aware of it and be open to receive it! This is the basis for the healing power of prayer. A particularly powerful way to absorb this healing energy simply involves sitting with your limbs uncrossed while listening to classical music and receiving a healing stream of energy. The practice, which is available to everyone, is associated with many well-documented physical and emotional healings from all over the world that cannot be explained by conventional medicine.

Step 2 - Know that you are your own best mother.

Treat yourself like an ideal mother would by talking to yourself in a wonderful, nurturing way and providing for yourself that which you wish you had received from your own mother. For example, say to yourself, “Darling, I see that you’re tired. Why don’t you lie down and take a nice nap. When you get up, we’ll have a nice cup of hot tea” or “I see that you need a break. How about a nice hot bath and a good book.” You get the picture.

Step 3 - Do something pleasurable each and every day.

Taking time for pleasure and fun decreases the stress hormones cortisol and adrenalin, which, over time, are responsible for heart disease, cancer, and most chronic diseases such as arthritis and high blood pressure. Plus when you take time for enjoyment, you’ll be able to approach arduous tasks with more energy and a better outlook.

Step 4 - Breathe deeply and fully on a regular basis.

Breathing in fully through your nose instantly engages the rest and restore parasympathetic nervous system and helps the body metabolize stress hormones. Put Post-it notes on your phone, your computer, and your bathroom mirror. Write BREATHE in beautiful letters that uplift and remind you to breathe fully.

Step 5 - Get support for self-care.

Find a self-care buddy and agree that each of you will hold the other accountable for taking care of herself. Start with my suggestions and add your own ideas. Brag to each other about how well you’re doing and especially how well you are caring for yourself. Plan to call your friend whenever you start to slip into over-care of others.

Step 6 - Use the incredible power of no.

When someone asks you to do something you don't really want to do, say NO! This is especially important if saying "no" makes you feel guilty or unworthy. In most cases this means you’re letting the needs of others overshadow your own. Only you know how much you can handle without over-committing. Over time, you’ll strengthen your “no” muscle and also attract friends who support your need to set healthy boundaries. Remember, saying “no” to someone else usually means saying “yes” to yourself!

Step 7 - Don’t wait for permission to start taking care of yourself.

Believe me, no one is going to give it to you, although I know how much you desperately want someone to do so! How well I remember being on call in the hospital watching the nurses give each other breaks. I yearned for one of my colleagues to give me permission to take a break after being up all night. But no one did because the culture of medicine (particularly a surgical specialty) is so macho. Far too many women get sick because it’s the only socially acceptable way to get the self-care they require. I think we can do better, don’t you? Prepare to be called “selfish” when you start taking better care of yourself. And when someone calls you that, celebrate! After all, taking care of yourself is prevention at the most fundamental level.
-Dr. Christine Northrup


There's nothing to fear, you're as good as the best,
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test;
For there's no one just like you.
There's only one you in the world today;
So nobody else, you see,
Can do your work in as fine a way:
You're the only you there'll be
DEEA2Z's Photo DEEA2Z SparkPoints: (101,242)
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7/7/16 2:04 P

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Wow, what a great post! Thank you for sharing!!

Diane (from PA)
Eastern Time Zone

Champions in the Kitchen/Since 2015

Champions in the Kitchen/2015 Summer Challenge EL(Goal Reached)

Champions in the Kitchen/2015 Spring Challenge (GOAL reached!)

When you have self-determination, you are owning your personal power and freedom of choice.

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."
-Robert Collier

Sweat is fat crying.


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NJFAMILYOF5's Photo NJFAMILYOF5 Posts: 5,646
7/3/16 12:31 P

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There's nothing to fear, you're as good as the best,
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test;
For there's no one just like you.
There's only one you in the world today;
So nobody else, you see,
Can do your work in as fine a way:
You're the only you there'll be
JBOOKSING's Photo JBOOKSING SparkPoints: (4,494)
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4/22/16 9:07 A

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I really need to hear that today. It's been a rough week. I can't wait for Saturday so I can SLEEP! =)

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NJFAMILYOF5's Photo NJFAMILYOF5 Posts: 5,646
4/8/16 9:42 A

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You can't go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand new ending. ~


There's nothing to fear, you're as good as the best,
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test;
For there's no one just like you.
There's only one you in the world today;
So nobody else, you see,
Can do your work in as fine a way:
You're the only you there'll be
KERRY4614's Photo KERRY4614 SparkPoints: (74,106)
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3/27/16 10:10 P

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What a wonderful post!! Thank you

My life tomorrow will be the result of my attitudes and the choices I make today.




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NJFAMILYOF5's Photo NJFAMILYOF5 Posts: 5,646
3/27/16 12:02 P

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Let me ask you this…

If you brought a puppy home from the shelter that has been traumatized and brutalized by his previous owner – so much so he cowers and whimpers at the slightest sound or movement – would you berate, ignore, or neglect him? No, of course you wouldn’t! I am guessing you would give him space, talk sweetly, be patient, and protect him. You would do everything you could to make sure that he felt safe and sound. You’d be eager to help ensure his little personality and spirit could shine again. And you would commit to doing this for as long as it took, his entire lifetime if need be.

If you are suffering with Fibromyalgia, you are traumatized, just like that little puppy. For one reason or another, your system has become overwhelmed. And now you are trapped in a “fight, flight or freeze” mode. You cannot relax. Your body is fearful and overreacts to everything – scents, sounds, chemicals, touch, emotions and thoughts. You are miserable as your body hardens against the world, creating intense pain and a feeling of suffocation. And just like that abused puppy, you desperately need your love and support.

As you know, feeding your puppy a balanced diet and walking him daily won’t be enough to heal him from his trauma. He’ll need as much love and devotion as you can muster for that to happen. The same is true with Fibromyalgia. But you already know this because you are doing everything you can with respect to diet and exercise. And still, you don’t seem to be able to bounce back. I know you are frustrated. But, the good news is there is more that you can do that will help you heal and enrich your life to no end. Here’s a good place to start:

FORGIVE YOURSELF
You did not do this to yourself! And you are not responsible for what it has done to you, your family, and your life. This is not in your head. By forgiving yourself, you can lift a load of weight from your heart and free up that energy to focus on healing. How do you forgive yourself? You stop imagining all the reasons you deserve to suffer. I know you do that! And, you tell yourself, over and over and over again: “I am amazing”. Eventually, you will understand that this is the Truth. That belief in yourself will change everything.

NURTURE YOURSELF
You are entitled to do the things that you enjoy. Being sick does not mean that you are not worthy of engaging in the things that feed your soul; that make your eyes burn bright and bring a grin to your lips. In fact, you need to find joy where you can, if you ever want to recover. If you have a moment when you feel well, even if it is for five minutes a day, spend that time doing what you love. For me, that is writing or relaxing with some hot milk and cookies (yes, dairy and gluten free, of course). You know what makes you happy; do it.

PROTECT YOURSELF
We are literally connected to everyone and everything on this planet, and beyond, through energy. A person with Fibromyalgia knows this better than anyone; we’re like sponges, soaking in the stress, emotions and pain of others. You have to learn to surround yourself in a love bubble. How? Imagine a ball of white light deep inside your tummy, and then imagine it expanding until it fills your entire body and the space around you. Picture yourself as a little yolk (with a cute smiley face) inside a big bright glistening egg. State an intention like, “I accept love, light, beauty, peace, happiness into my love bubble. I send everything else back to its source, with love.” Do this constantly until your love bubble is a permanent fixture in your life. And sparkle on!

TRUST YOURSELF
Stop telling yourself what you should do and do what feels right. It is an immensely liberating and kind act of self-love to take a ‘should vacation’. Just try it. Anytime you think you should do something, do not do it. Start small, like with the supper dishes one night. See what happens. I bet the sky stays intact. Now, this only works if you also refrain from the guilt you impose on yourself for having not done something. Keep reminding yourself it is okay to change your priorities and to slough off the excessive self-imposed ‘shoulds’ – think of the peace of mind and time you will gain. I have a little ditty I sing to myself to help me decipher what aspects of my life I could without. And it goes like this: “If it cuts you down to size. If it eats you up inside. Let it go, go, go. Let it go!” Make up your own tune and use it if you wish. It works wonders.

EMBRACE YOURSELF
There is a gift in your sensitivity, your soft heart, and gentle spirit. We need you in this world, to balance it out. Right now, while you are suffering, it is hard to imagine what you can offer to anyone. But, trust me, your special brand of insight and wisdom serves a greater purpose. The people around you and the whole world are lifted because of the love inside you. Let your body know that it is okay to soften again; you are letting go of the ‘couldabeens’ and ‘shouldabeens’. You are stepping away from whomever and whatever does not serve you, and following your heart into a new life. Tell yourself, I am healed. Tell yourself, I am strong. Tell yourself, I am well with the world. And you are. The attributes you possess did not make you sick. Embrace your sweetness and do not relinquish it. It will make you whole gain. You don’t need to be like everyone else. Be you. Be love. You’ll see. Things are changing.


PACE YOURSELF
What is your rush? I know! I know! Whenever we get an ounce of energy we are in a spin, trying to make up for the lost time of our down days. But that approach gets us back where we started, too miserable to do anything, am I right? The only way I know to slow down is to try and notice how my body is reacting in the moment. If I am holding my breath, clenching my butt, or gritting my teeth, I know I am headed for trouble. Don’t tell me you don’t do this too! Start to enjoy those times when you feel well, fill them with whatever makes your heart sing. Stop using that precious time trying to prove your worth or tame your guilt. Your loved ones just want you to be happy. They don’t need you tending to them.

Just remember…

Whenever you get that urge to blame or doubt yourself, think of those big puppy dog eyes looking up at you and give yourself a big hug and a good scratch behind the ear. You are far more precious than you know. You can do this.

https://shinysoulproject.com/2013/03/25/
244/


There's nothing to fear, you're as good as the best,
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test;
For there's no one just like you.
There's only one you in the world today;
So nobody else, you see,
Can do your work in as fine a way:
You're the only you there'll be
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