Group photo
Author:
PRIYA_MISHRA's Photo PRIYA_MISHRA Posts: 256
3/30/16 12:36 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you Platinum.

"I came to this earth so that I can
find a way back to my beloved."
~Rumi
PLATINUM755's Photo PLATINUM755 SparkPoints: (628,972)
Fitness Minutes: (393,832)
Posts: 50,682
3/30/16 12:06 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.


 current weight: 138.0 
159
151.25
143.5
135.75
128
PRIYA_MISHRA's Photo PRIYA_MISHRA Posts: 256
3/29/16 3:49 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you so much friends..........how I love all of you.



"I came to this earth so that I can
find a way back to my beloved."
~Rumi
LAURANCE's Photo LAURANCE Posts: 6,142
3/28/16 8:28 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Oh dear...are we really unable to love anybody else unless we love ourselves first? That has not been my experience at all.

Now, I do agree that abusive and exploitive people will take advantage of people who are in need. That happens a lot.

Counseling may or may not be useful. I have not found counseling useful, but there are other people who do.

Speaking for myself, and I know other people may disagree with me, happiness with oneself alone happens because that person also is getting or has gotten hir (gender-neutral pronoun) need for love met. A person who is suffering from severe emotional starvation is not going to be happy in isolation. We cannot demand that a starving person thrive alone somehow and recover alone from the effects of that emotional starvation before adding another person in hir life.

I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt, the mug, the mousepad, the keychain...

 current weight: 126.0 
168
153.5
139
124.5
110
MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 25,959
3/28/16 5:18 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I don't have any wisdom to share, as I've felt unloved most of my life. But I'm thinking of you and sending you comforting virtual hugs.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Miller

"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown


 Pounds lost: 17.0 
0
18.75
37.5
56.25
75
SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (109,198)
Fitness Minutes: (2,698)
Posts: 22,783
3/28/16 4:29 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Priya, Sigmund Freud, regardless of how one may view his theories, said one thing that is true for all people all of the time. There are two things that we all need: Love and work. Love means connection to others and work means something to do that is fulfilling.

I believe that love is at least as much about having place to deposit it as it is about receiving it. Even a pet helps in this regard.

I don't know what a typical day is like for you -- whether you get out much and are among people for conversation. With all of the relationships you say have turned bad, I hope you have learned to choose people more wisely. I believe I wrote this to you before, that sometimes alone is better, but what is best is choosing people wisely.

If you are not a student or working at a job that you enjoy, consider volunteering even one day a week for an organization that you think is doing good work in an area that you think is important.

A pet and volunteer work aren't the ultimate answers, but they can make such a vast difference.

Years ago when I was isolating myself most of the time, I went into the small grocery around the corner from my apartment. While waiting in line to pay for my purchase, a small misunderstanding between two customers caused a little commotion. A man, ahead of me in line, paid, turned and made eye contact with me. The look said that we had the same view of the misunderstanding between the others. I smiled and he put his hand on my shoulder to squeeze it as he passed to leave the store. I nearly cried, realizing that I hadn't been touched in any way in such a long time. I understand how you feel.

LAURIE, NYC

Tra-la-la.


 current weight: 198.0 
311
269.5
228
186.5
145
60SURVIVOR's Photo 60SURVIVOR SparkPoints: (22,300)
Fitness Minutes: (13,245)
Posts: 739
3/28/16 9:45 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

PRIYA_MISHRA's Before you can love anyone else, you first must love yourself. You may be so afraid of losing someone when you are in a relationship with them, that you sacrifice your wants and needs just to keep them. When someone is needy, there are people (abusive people) who can sniff them out and take advantage of them.

Counseling can help you with this. You need to be happy with yourself alone and add someone else to your life because you want them in your life, not because you need them in your life.

What this world needs is a new kind of army � the army of the kind. ~Cleveland Amory


 Pounds lost: 47.0 
0
19.75
39.5
59.25
79
LAURANCE's Photo LAURANCE Posts: 6,142
3/28/16 9:30 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Priya! No! You don't have a "disease" or an "illness". You are not sick or wrong in any way.

Craving for love? That's not wrong or diseased! People need to love and feel loved. It's as necessary as water and air, as necessary as vitamins,. People need love.

You are not diseased and ill. Rather, I'd say you have a deficiency of "Vitamin L". I say this because I was there, too. And I know from experience how much it hurts, how desperate the need is, and how easy it is to get into bad situations when we're starving to death. I've been there, done that, over and over.

Let's keep talking here and see what we can figure out.

For now, please know that this is not your fault. Please think something kind and good about yourself right now.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

 current weight: 126.0 
168
153.5
139
124.5
110
PRIYA_MISHRA's Photo PRIYA_MISHRA Posts: 256
3/28/16 8:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Dear friends, I suffer from a huge problem. You may call it a disease or illness. I crave "Love". I feel this constant need to Love and be Loved. I call this an illness because this craving has got me into countless abusive and /or exploitative relationships. By relationship, I do not indicate conjugal relationship alone. I have been in sister-like, brother-like, father-like, mother-like "relations".......and so on. And all of them eventually turned out to be wither physically (intimately) abusive or exploitative. My friends may remember the debacle I had with my boyfriend, when all of you kind souls advised me to leave him.

I have no biological relative, never had. I was on my own since I remember. May be that is the cause of my illness. My question is how can I just live alone without feeling depressed or without craving for Love. - your friend Priya.

Edited by: PRIYA_MISHRA at: 3/28/2016 (08:39)
"I came to this earth so that I can
find a way back to my beloved."
~Rumi
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Dealing with Depression Problem Solving Posts

Topics:
Last Post:
6/12/2019 8:53:58 AM
4/17/2020 9:07:59 PM
7/11/2020 9:30:47 PM



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=6887x953x63992366

Review our Community Guidelines