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MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
12/13/19 9:08 P

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I completed Day 92 today, but it was insanely long, so I left it over on my blog. My page is set to private. I'm pretty sure I've added everyone who reads this as a friend, but if I missed you, please message me, and I'll add you.

Hope everyone is doing well! What do you want to read in 2020?

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
12/12/19 5:10 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 91: Obesity is a Condition

Today's lesson can be kind of a downer. The main point is, there is no finish line. We're never going to be "done." Even after we lose weight, even after we reach goal and we take all the fun comparison pictures... We will ALWAYS be susceptible to gaining the weight back. It doesn't just go away. We will always have to be vigilant. It is a condition, and we will always be at risk of this condition flaring up again.

That can be a really depressing thought, and it's one that I have struggled with for years. I've been dieting since junior high, and I've always had difficulty with changing my lifestyle. I'm only *just now* starting to be able to do those "lifestyle changes" things. I'm only on my second week of working out with any sort of regularity, and I almost feel like six minutes on a recumbent bike doesn't count, except that I can feel the difference it has made... I am just now getting comfortable with throwing away excess food at a restaurant. In the past week, I've thrown away french fries and left mashed potatoes on my plate. Six months ago, that was unthinkable for me.

In order to change your life, you have to... change your life.

The thing that I really like about today's lesson is that it de-personalizes it. It's better for my self-talk to think, "I have obesity" versus "I am obese." We don't personalize and "own" that many diseases and conditions. We do it with obesity and diabetes. "I am obese, I am diabetic." "Arthritic" is a word, but we say, "I have arthritis" and not "I am arthritic." Interestingly, we do "own" mental illnesses... "I am depressed, I am bipolar, I am schizophrenic." (Hmm. This is very interesting...) But my point is, we don't have to describe ourselves this way. We don't HAVE to "own" obesity (or mental illness, for that matter) any more than we own any other disorder.

I am not my illness, I am not my disorder. I am Mermaid, and I am everything that I said I was on Day 89. I have obesity, and I'm controlling it well. My numbers are improving every month.

Say THAT at your next doctor's appointment.

*mic drop*

MERMAID OUT.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
12/12/19 4:46 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 90: Live "As If"

I demand a refund. This day has absolutely nothing to do with the 1990's cinema classic, "Clueless."

Today's lesson uses our list from Day 89. When we're having an off-day, look back at that list, pick one of those great things about ourselves, and then live "as if" we actually felt like that way... I've had ample opportunity to practice this the past couple days. In typical Mermaid fashion, I'll have a couple outstanding days, and then I'll have a couple lousy days... I no longer beat myself up about this. I no longer hate myself for it. For whatever reasons, this is just how I am, so I try to just ride out the lousy days. It has been helpful to remind myself that just because I don't want to, that doesn't meant that I don't care... And it's useful to remember that some days, I really do have my act together!

My self-talk has transformed into something like, "Okay, it's gonna be one of THOSE days... It's alright. We're going to ride this out. Now, what would you be doing if you were feeling better? Can we do that today, even if we don't want to?" And sometimes, yes, I can! I've had a pretty decent track-record of getting on my exercise bike in the morning, and I can actually notice the difference.

Last night, I was bored. My fiance is still working overnight, so I feel like an awful lot of my time is spent just waiting for him to wake up... Normally, I would have spent the afternoon and evening on the couch, barely moving. But I asked myself, what would you do if you were really feeling on top of it...? So I got up, tried out a new workout DVD (hated it!) and then played a little bit of Wii Sports for the first time in like, seven years. Altogether, I got in an hour of activity yesterday! So yes, I'm calling this lesson very successful!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
12/8/19 8:44 P

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GRETCHEN! So great to hear from you! Please feel free to say a few words, no matter what day you're on. Just jump right in!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
12/8/19 8:43 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 87: Old Habits

This is a lesson that I have struggled with, and I know I will continue to struggle with it... But I'm trying to just think about it and move on to the next days because I don't want to get too hung up on it.

Today's lesson is about those times that we eat out of habit. Some of the solutions suggested in the book are really quite simple. If you know you eat as soon as you get home from work, even something as simple as entering your driveway from the other direction can throw off that routine in a good way.

My biggest, most harmful eating habit is that any time I'm with my mom, I eat, and usually overeat. I combated this during the holiday baking thing by wearing my best jeans. I was going to wear a set of Christmas cookie pajamas, but then I decided jeans were my best bet. I'm not sure how to handle this for every future visit though. I was also thinking about taking a selfie whenever my mom and I hang out, just something to small to show that we spent quality time together without having to eat. The problem is, it's just automatic to plan a food around whatever we're doing! This one is going to take years of practice, so I consider today's lesson complete... I have thought about it, I tried one technique, and I will definitely try more.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
4_MY_GIRLZ_N_ME's Photo 4_MY_GIRLZ_N_ME Posts: 1,332
12/8/19 5:15 P

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I'm continuing to work my way through 100 days. Today, I read day 78 which was about using positive language with ourselves. SO IMPORTANT!

~Gretchen

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Phil.4:13

EST





 current weight: 321.0 
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314
304.5
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MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
12/5/19 6:37 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 86: Minimize the Damage

So appropriate for the holiday season!

I just spoke with a SparkFriend about this recently, too. Being a recovering binge eater, food addict, whatever you want to call it... Sometimes, I do feel the need to binge, and I try to counteract that with a controlled binge. I'll try to binge on something that won't make things worse. Like my big pot of vegetable soup, a bag of baby carrots, or choosing two bowls of pumpkin spice Cheerios over a pint of ice cream. Binge-eating is, of course, a harmful behavior. But this is a long journey, and we don't have to strive for perfection right away. "Better" is always an admirable goal. As we learn more and continue to prove, we can change "better." Since thinking about it this way, I've really felt a lot of relief. I just try to be "better." There are a lot of things I used to do that I don't anymore, and I celebrate that progress. I am thankful for how much I've learned and how much I've changed.

Ways to minimize the damage... Binge on more nutritious foods. When confronted with treats at holiday parties or cookies at the office, only allow the ones you really want. (No store-bought cookies for me.) If you take a bite of something and realize it's not what you wanted, throw it away. (Should have done this today with a cookie at work!) Try to balance your choices. If you're craving a soda terribly bad, maybe allow one can and one glass of water. (I used to do this when I had a burger in a restaurant. I'd order a Coke and a water, and I never let them refill my Coke.)

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
12/5/19 6:36 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 85: Let It Go

Unfortunately, today's lesson is not about Disney movies...

It's another lesson about handling your emotions. The idea is to write down what is bothering you on a small piece of paper, determine how long you're going to hold on to this annoyance, and then for that time, focus all of your negative energy on that problem, on that piece of paper. When the time is up, you throw the paper away, you let it go, and you move on.

I can see where this might work for small things. Someone who cut you off in traffic, a moment of social anxiety that haunts you, a schedule change, an annoying customer at work. But a lot of my stress and anxiety comes from big things, things that I can't let go of in five minutes... Then again, if I could learn to let go of the little things, it might make it easier to deal with the bigger things. One of the things I like about this activity is that it makes you ask yourself, how much of my time is this annoyance actually worth? Just thinking about it in that way is helpful!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
11/27/19 5:31 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 84: The Expectation Square

I have been thinking about this little technique for about a week now... The Expectation Square is about dealing with rigid viewpoints and expectations. For a control-freak perfectionist like me, this hits close to home. In our marriage counseling quiz, I scored low in "flexibility" and "open to change." This was not a surprise to me. I have a hard time accepting change and managing too-high expectations, and I have for as long as I can remember. (Which is hard on me, because I feel like my expectations and standards are terribly low. So it's even more disappointing when I, or others, fail to meet them.) This is a really great lesson for the holiday season, when our expectations and desires are so easily influenced by commercials, movies, memories, etc.

So what Spangle suggests is, visualize a small square fitting around the expectations of whatever situation. And then widen that square and ask yourself, "Could it be like this and still be okay?" I feel like this question serves two purposes. One, it helps you stretch your viewpoint and allow for things like reality... And two, it helps you figure out what is really NOT okay.

It's similar to one of the earliest lessons about the narrow path versus the wider path, but I feel like this can be applied to LIFE and not just food or dieting. I have been asking myself, "Could it be like this and still be okay?" frequently the past couple weeks, and I'm sure I'll continue using it. I'm planning a wedding, after all!

It's really hard for me to let go of perfectionism. I actually worked myself up into a good bit of beating myself up yesterday over some burned pies. I was convinced that I was an absolute failure, that I am literally not good at a single thing, and that I was just generally a waste of space. Over pies. PIES. Like, this was not life and death... This was maybe $7 of pie ingredients... I was still a little bummed about it this morning, and I told my dad not to expect anything great for dinner tonight... He said, "It's just like working on cars. We'll cut off the bad parts and slap some filler in it. It'll be fine." And he's totally right.

Small square: Perfect pies. Dutch apple and pumpkin. Cover of Martha Stewart magazine. Beautiful, epic homemade pies.
Large square: Pies with the burned parts cut off and covered with homemade whipped cream. Could it be like that, and still be okay? YES. Yes, it can.

Small square: I need to be perfect. I need to achieve all my goals. These are easy goals, and I should be able to accomplish them.
Large square: I manage to accomplish maybe 3 out of 10 goals. I berate myself and make myself feel awful. Can I be like this and still be okay? YES, because I am a work in progress. No, it is not okay to talk to myself poorly. But yes, I can be like this and still be okay because "progress not perfection" needs to be my new battle cry!

Wishing all of you a very happy Thanksgiving! Widen your expectation square. You miss out on a lot of great things when you're stuck in the blinders of perfectionism.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
11/17/19 5:50 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 83: No More Deprivation

I kinda like how Spangle titles these days because there's sometimes a twist on words that you don't always expect... Today is NOT about moderation or the "horrors" of deprivation. Today is about choosing your hard, choosing your deprivation, really choosing what you want from life. It's about accepting that deprivation and choices are part of life.

The timing of this lesson is again, pretty good for me... I think my recent struggles are strongly related to that feeling of deprivation and wanting to eat "what everybody else does." The exercises for today are to write a list of the ways your eating plan deprives you and then to write a list of what your weight deprives you of, and to compare those lists... I don't really want to do this activity because I don't want to dwell on the negative too much, but I do see the value of this lesson, so I will make short lists. Enough to do it, but not so much that I depress myself.

Things I'm deprived of because of my dieting efforts...
- Food, obviously. Cakes, cookies, chips, pies. Seasonal foods. Cocoa, apple cider. Greasy fast food. Pizza.
- Convenience. I dislike having a limited number of restaurants to choose from, and it's annoying that I have to make something special for things like book club. (We used to just order pizza or Chinese, and now, I have to either make the whole meal myself, or bring my own food, and watch everyone else eat something that I'd rather be having.)

Things I'm deprived of because of my weight...
- So. Much. I don't want to make a huge list because it will start to feel overwhelming.
- Any event in a stadium, arena, or auditorium. Concerts, sporting events, plays, ballets, etc. I miss that kinda stuff so much. Like, me at a hockey game or Nine Inch Nails concert is my truest self, and I haven't been in over ten years!
- Better employment. I love my job, and I'm really grateful for it. But I am missing out on things like financial freedom (mo' hours, mo' money), benefits, etc. I'm just not healthy enough and I don't have the physical endurance to work more hours.

Yeah... When I compare the lists, it's a no-brainer. No cupcake is worth my bigger overall life. But I do appreciate just writing out and acknowledging that yes, sometimes dieting sucks. There are things that you miss out on. It's okay to be annoyed about being deprived of something. That's a totally legitimate feeling. But you have to keep the big picture in mind, and you have to choose what you really want to be deprived of, ultimately.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CELTLADYMN's Photo CELTLADYMN SparkPoints: (8,852)
Fitness Minutes: (360)
Posts: 258
11/14/19 3:39 P

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Jumping back in where I left off!

Day 16 Nurturing power of food
~As you know, the first two bites of any food have the most impact on your taste buds.
But they’re also the only ones that have any emotional power! Once you finish those first
bites, you’ll have received whatever benefits the food can do for you. Eating more of it
simply won’t bring you additional satisfaction or make you feel any better.

Today
• Intentionally eat something that will help you feel better. Eliminate any thoughts
of guilt or remorse as you eat this food. Write down what you ate and why you
chose it.
---I chose leftover ham/cheese/hashbrown casserole.

• After two bites, stop! Remind yourself that your needs have been met and eating
more of the food won’t increase your healing level. Then give away or toss
whatever food is left. Describe what you did with this part of the food.
--Knowing I wanted to do this exercise, I packed a VERY small serving of the leftovers & brought it to work with me. It felt good to savor the flavors of the food (salty, comforting, creamy)

• Write about how you felt doing this exercise. Also, notice what level of
satisfaction you experienced as you ate the first two bites of the food.
--I really wanted to bring a BIG container of the leftovers, but packed that up for hubby instead. I brought a small (2-bite) serving and a HUGE salad for my lunch.

I felt IN CONTROL, which is a very empowering feeling for me. I have spent so much of my adult life being controlled BY food...not using it as fuel, but as an attempted CURE for whatever might be ailing me. I'm ridiculously proud of myself when I actually use food to power my body, instead of as a drug. Today, the salad tasted great...very filling. The 2-bites of the casserole left me sated with the comfort food & feeling like I can manage my food intake by planning better.


2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
11/11/19 9:36 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 82: Last-Straw Eating

This is another one of those lessons that feels like a repeat of the day before. But in church, our pastor says that when the same story or phrase gets repeated, it usually means to pay attention, so that's probably what's going on here... And I avoided doing this lesson because for the past few days, I've struggled, but I didn't hit that "last-straw" level. I struggled with making too many planned exceptions. (Too many special things, too many treats. I want to allow these things in my life, but I probably had too many, and the specialness of some things could be debated...) Anyway, last night, I did hit that "last straw" feeling, and while it wasn't a binge, it was pretty damn close.


So, let's CSI this crime scene...

I went over to my mother's. Let's be honest here. My mother's house is a massive food trigger for me. She keeps snacks, drinks, all sorts of stuff. Sigh. And sometimes, it's "legal" food, but oftentimes, it isn't. So, there was definitely opportunity. Ample opportunity.

I should have eaten before I went over there. I had eaten a couple hours before, so I wasn't really hungry enough to have a meal before I went, but after being there for awhile... Yeah, I was hungry. Aha! Motive!

But what else? What else drove me to eat the way I did?

Well... A few other less-than-great choices made in the days prior. It's always easier to stay on track when you're in that groove.

I was cranky when I went over.

I really hate my fiance's job.

I'm stressed about wedding planning and a suddenly expanding guest list.

So... This again, all points to stress management and time management. Nothing new here, really... But it feels good to blog it out. I guess that's all I'm really looking for with today's lesson. I need to try to identify these frustrations before they multiply, and I need to handle stress in productive ways. And for me, blogging is one of the best ways to do that, so I just need to type out my feelings, no matter how whiny and annoying I may sound! Ha!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
11/6/19 3:45 P

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emoticon nods, I agree, a profoundly helpful skill ~ at any point we can break the chain and make a choice and head towards a different outcome! Well done :)



MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
10/31/19 1:16 P

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*Another really long one. Sorry!

100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 81: Unhook the Chains

Today's lesson is about figuring out what really causes our over-eating by looking at all steps of the behavioral chain. It helps us to examine what *really* set us off. It's a more beneficial way of figuring out what we could have done better.

This is good timing... I was making some Halloween treats last night for our church's cake walk tonight, and I wound up eating a lot more candy than I had originally planned to allow. It wasn't a full binge, but it was more than I wanted. Examining the chain of events, I can identify several things that caused me to allow more candy than I intended, and I can see things I could have done better. I really like this process. It's a form of constructive criticism and not just beating yourself up for not doing better.

Going to work backwards and try to type this in a way that makes sense...

Eating too much candy.
^
Buying too much candy AND being hungry
^
Baking fail caused stress.
^
Already a little stressed because sink full of dishes from making a more complicated meal this evening.
^
Fiance spending too much time on computer/phone.

Okay, there's my chain. Now I'm going to copy/paste it and add ways I could have improved the situation...

Eating too much candy. (Fixing anything in this chain would have helped me to eat less candy. The desirable candy wouldn't have even been in my house! And if I had managed my stress better and eaten more at dinner, I wouldn't have been as hungry or agitated. I could have stayed better hydrated, too!)
^
Buying too much candy AND being hungry (After the fail, I sent Fiance to the store to pick up more ingredients to try to fix it. They didn't work either, and then there was additional candy in my house, desirable seasonable candy.) (I didn't eat enough at dinner. I should have eaten just a little more.) (Made Ina Garten's roasted chicken last night, but I didn't plan enough vegetables. A salad would have worked.)
^
Baking fail caused stress. (Don't. Trust. Pinterest.) (But seriously. Plan something simpler, read all the packages and directions, and when in doubt: do something easy from my repertoire of tried and true recipes. It's a Halloween cake walk. Kids don't care about new and different. I could have easily done cake mix cookies or a couple 8x8 pans of cake from a box. They would not have cared. And it would have been cheaper!) (Could have taken a short walk, gotten on exercise bike, or meditated for a few minutes to manage stress.)
^
Already a little stressed because sink full of dishes from making a more complicated meal this evening. (Could have planned an easier meal! Would have been a great night to go out or pick up something easy from the grocery store.)
^
Fiance spending too much time on computer/phone. (This is something we're trying to handle better. I don't need to monopolize his every waking hour. He should be allowed his own free time. My free time happens to be when he his either asleep or at work. I shouldn't feel resentful when I'm doing chores and he's on the computer. That's just how our schedules work. We can fix this by managing our time better. We can make our together time more meaningful and plan his free time better, so that I don't feel ignored or resentful. A little more structure would help.)

Okay. I hope that wasn't too difficult to decipher; it really did help me figure everything out! Like, I just now realized that I don't handle my stress on an as-needed basis. I handle stress by letting it pile up until I HAVE to handle it. But I don't do anything to handle daily stress.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
10/25/19 5:25 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 80: Get a New Title

Ohhhhhh, snap, y'all! Today is a good one. I've been thinking about this all week, and I finally feel like today is a good day to tackle it. In today's lesson, we... give ourselves a new title! We no longer use the words we used to use to describe ourselves; we eliminate that old, negative job description that we used to have.

The tasks for today are: give yourself a new "name tag" and then to also pick a word to describe yourself that can be like a goal... So you can use it to help yourself stay on track, like, "How would a 'healthy' Mermaid handle this situation?" It's suggested to create a list of several positive words to describe yourself, and then just pick one or two that you'll be comfortable using long-term.

Name Tag: Mermaid, A Strong Woman.
I chose "A Strong Woman" because in encompasses so much that I want to be. Yes, I want to be physically strong and capable, but I also want to be emotionally strong and resilient. I want to be strong in my faith, my values, and I want to be a steadfast wife, daughter and friend. I want people to hear my name and think, "oh, yeah, Mermaid can handle it!"

Goal Word: Healthy.
I chose "healthy" because that, too, encompasses a lot of areas for me, and it's my ultimate goal. I want to handle my emotions and problems in healthy ways. I want to eat healthy foods. I want to have healthy attitudes towards myself and my life.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
10/23/19 4:50 P

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That is AWESOME, Laura! emoticon emoticon

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CELTLADYMN's Photo CELTLADYMN SparkPoints: (8,852)
Fitness Minutes: (360)
Posts: 258
10/23/19 2:16 P

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100 Days...Day 15 First two bites



~With any food that you love, eat the first two bites very slowly, noticing details such as the cinnamon in the apple pie or the soft caramel swirl in the cheesecake. Allow yourself to completely absorb the texture and flavor of the food. After you finish those two bites, decide if you truly need more. In most cases, you don’t.



Today

• Choose one of your favorite foods such as carrot cake, and then focus on all the details and tastes of the first two bites. Let yourself appreciate the flavors. Write down the food you choose for this exercise.

• After the first two bites, stop eating and get rid of the rest of the food. In the space below, describe your response to this experience.

• With each food you eat today, pay close attention to the first two bites. Notice how they taste in comparison to the rest of the food. Write a few notes below



It's been a long time since I've worked my days, but I'm glad to be back.



The timing on this one was great.  I'm off work today, but had to run into the office for a few minutes.

I drove thru McD's and got a cheeseburger & small fries.  The fries smelled awesome.  Luckily, I read this daily thought before I started eating.  I had TWO BITES of fries...the salty, greasy yummy.  But, I know if I eat the whole things (even a small one), my tummy will rebel.  So, I savored the yummy decadence & threw the rest of it in the trash.



VICTORY!

2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
10/18/19 4:47 P

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emoticon very thoughtful heartfelt dreams! wonderful :)

the 1st one on food was particularly important epiphany for me as well... food for nourishment and not to solve non-food reasons... it is taking way more practice to develop that than I ever anticipated... and I think Spangle's thought is important... what is normal anyways? I like the idea of healthful... my life/needs are entirely different than the few people who I perceive to have a normal eating approach/relationship to food... we could be from different planets... so along the way, decided, I just need to start where I am, go from there towards better/good for me... and as I keep practicing, this evolves with progress...

emoticon Mermaid, methinks you are also evolving with progress... and appreciate the thoughts you share... gives me a chance to (re)visit the ideas again, and so often find myself nodding along, sometimes with new little epiphanies of my own ;)

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10/16/19 1:33 P

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This got really long when I blogged about it, so I'll try to trim this down a little...

100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 79: Live as a "Healthy" Person

So today is basically about learning the difference between "normal" and "healthy." I know I have struggled often with, "WHY can't I just be able to eat like a NORMAL PERSON?!" And Spangle points out... In today's society, where soooo many people are obese and diabetes is the norm... We don't really want to aim for "normal." Like, there really IS no NORMAL. Whatever idea we have of what "normal" is either doesn't exist anymore, or never really has. Our concept of "normal" isn't very informed. The alternative is HEALTHY, and we need to personalize that!

The exercise for today is to draw a stick figure of yourself and brainstorm/write out all of the things that look like a HEALTHY life for YOU. I took this seriously, and I really spent some time on it. (I even drew a stick figure version of my dog and my fiance, lol.) Around this simple stick figure depiction of my family, I have headings for several categories. Here are some highlights from each.

FOOD: I eat when I'm hungry, and I never ask food to do the job of anything else. Food is not my therapist, friend, or entertainment. I cook delicious, nutritious meals of vegetables, healthy fats, and healthy proteins.
STRESS MANAGEMENT: My first choice coping mechanisms are fitness, meditation/prayer, and creativity.
FITNESS: I can walk, explore, hike, and enjoy nature. I can learn to ride a bicycle and walk a 5k. I am not intimidated by stairs or full parking lots. My body is strong and capable.
WORK: I continue learning and working more hours, with a goal of finding suitable full time employment sometime in 2022.
FINANCIAL: We (because this is a marriage thing, too) continue budgeting and continue our financial education. After meeting our emergency savings goal, we strive to pay off credit card debt sometime in 2022.
PARENTS: Provide useful support and help to them, while maintaining proper boundaries. Don't get overwhelmed, and prioritize the friendship and enjoyment of the relationship with them.
SOCIAL: Work at maintaining current friendships by not being a flake! Go to more church events to expand social network.
HOME: Spend my energy to create an inviting, calming home. Organize, declutter, don't buy useless or disposable crap. Make home purchases with quality and longevity in mind. Make the most of what you've got.
MARRIAGE: Continue practicing effective communication! Make marriage a priority. Better health/fitness means more things to do, which equals a better quality of life for both of us!

I have had a quote on my bulletin board for months that goes well with today's lesson:

"Look closely at the present you are constructing. It should look like the future you are dreaming." - Alice Walker

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
10/13/19 9:27 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 78: Ditch the Critic

Today's lesson is about using a particular phrase to silence your inner critic and stop negative self talk.

"I don't care what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person."

This is a good one for me today... Even though I planned to eat off my program, I am still feeling guilty for going beyond my pre-determined limits... I also know that I tend to binge eat AS a form of self-harm, so I particularly like the front part of this saying. No matter what I say to myself, no matter what I force myself to eat in order to hurt myself... I am STILL a worthwhile person. And this is still a worthwhile cause. I AM getting better.

In the book, Spangle says that when we put ourselves down, the brain attempts to make whatever we're saying true. I don't know if that's backed by any neurology or psychology, but it feels about right... It would be wonderful if I could rewire my brain through positive self-talk! It doesn't feel as unnatural to me as it used to. On most days, I can find nice things to say myself. It's not always the case, but it happens more often than it used to.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
10/9/19 8:21 P

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emoticon these last 2 days/lessons were helpful for me, especially first couple times I pondered them... as women, we often spend so much time caring for others, putting job 1st, needs of others... that it kind of actually felt guilty to make time for myself & self-care; to destress, to sit and enjoy a moment, 2 or more...

emoticon love the idea of sparkling water with furbaby outside! my shep used to blow bubbles in his waterbowl and loved to play in waves... it is easy to enjoy/laugh/smile at those times ~ and it helps to actually choose to make those moments as part of our daily self-care/routines ~ even teeth/face washing :)

I remember on airplanes - lemon scented warm washcloths... nothing quite like it!

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10/9/19 2:26 P

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emoticon
100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 77: The Healing Power of Rituals

Let's go ahead and knock out one more day, since it's a similar topic...

I love rituals as part of self-care, I just have a hard time sticking to them consistently. One of the things I've been doing lately is hand-washing my dishes at night, and then watching an episode of The Golden Girls. My dishwasher is kaput, and I'm actually not in a hurry to replace it! There's only two of us, so it doesn't get too bad, and I find that I enjoy the peace of it. I usually listen to some soft jazz, easy listening, or old vocal standards. I put my dishes on the draining rack, and then I turn on some Golden Girls before going to bed.

I also have the same basic routine for going to bed and getting up in the morning. Brush hair, brush teeth, wash face. The skin care routine changes up for AM and PM, but the basics apply. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I'm brushing my teeth more regularly than I ever have in my life... But this little ritual is serving me well. During periods of depression, hygeine is the first thing to go for me, and I feel like keeping this up has helped keep me from slipping. Like, for me, just going to bed without washing my face can encourage a slip into depression, and the more little things I don't do for myself like that, the worse it gets. One day it's not washing my face, then it's not brushing my teeth, then it's not being able to get out of bed and go to work... It's a slippery slope, and little rituals help me.

One of my favorite rituals, I've blogged about before: I love getting home in the afternoon, grabbing a can of sparkling water, and sitting in my yard with my dog. He's such a good boy.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
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10/9/19 2:26 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 76: Emotional Safety

Sometimes, I come across a day in this book that either trips me up or doesn't speak to me, and instead of just trying to knock it out, I put it off for a week... Which is exactly what happened with Day 76...

Today is about creating an emotionally safe place in your environment, somewhere you can go when things get icky. It doesn't have to be anything big. It can be a room, a corner, or something even as small as a special coffee cup, or a certain CD to listen to in the car. I think I struggled with this day because it's something I already do so much of! From having migraines so often, I've tailored a lot of things in my life for comfort and safety. I have blackout curtains on every single window, I use aromatherapy, I listen to soothing music. Most recently, and inspired my Marie Kondo, my bedside area is designed to bring me comfort and spark joy. I have a few special knick-knacks, a Himalayan salt lamp, a special dish for my engagement ring, and my current books. I have a special Snoopy cup. I try my best to make my home a safe haven. Now, if I could just keep it clean and de-cluttered...

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
9/27/19 5:18 P

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emoticon like that song Mermaid

emoticon Laura, I hear that... my thoughts/mind turns often to food ~ whenever I am mad, sad, bad, glad.... things like this study help us work on it! even if we go slowly with it...

emoticon several events this week triggered stress and strong emotions for me, and that is when self-care and food choices get wonky and I struggle. so this weekend, I am focused on r&r (rest & recovery) including limiting real world news and adding miles of smiles



I have found that my mood often follows and intensifies where my thoughts dwell, so I am working on actively re-directing my thoughts to happy and positive. once, when I was listening to a Dr Laura broadcast, a caller mentioned she was hyper-focused on something (for example a particular food)…

dr Laura said... hey! look! see the pink elephant over there?

bet you looked? right? she went on to say that your mind switches to the pink elephant and can't stay dwelled on the fixation... and although I find my brain reverts to the negative thing... very actively... I sometimes have to get up and totally change what I am doing... after the negative news, I was trying to concentrate on something I was watching and my thoughts kept going to the negative news... so I got up and did something totally else/active to focus on... in this case it was go talk about it with someone... which helped because I expressed my emotions... but I noticed at dinner that I wanted to dive into the food. same with inbetween dinner and snack and inbetween snack and bedtime... and that wonky URGE and strong emotion has stayed with me, but is easing, like waves of the ocean on an outgoing tide...



so, this weekend, more re-directing my thoughts to something/anything that will help me laff!



Hope you all have a good weekend, I will be playing with pink elephants :)



Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 9/27/2019 (17:25)
CELTLADYMN's Photo CELTLADYMN SparkPoints: (8,852)
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9/23/19 12:48 P

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I can't believe it's been more than a month since I've done a "DAY". In the past, I know I would have given up & beaten myself up for once again quitting on something I committed to following.

Instead, I read all your posts in between & am ready to pick up where I left off.

PLEASE know that your posts are very helpful to me & I often find myself nodding along with things you've written. Even though we are all walking this path for ourselves, it is always great to realize that someone else out there gets it. I don't think any of us got to be this size by practicing self-care & kindness to ourselves. I have a lot of self-hatred and shame bubbling under the surface & ready to pop out at the slightest provocation!

Day 14~~Morning affects evening

If you eat breakfast every day, you’ll eventually retrain your stomach to manage food
better in the mornings. It may take time for your body to adjust, but after a week on your
new schedule, your all-day hunger will disappear. You also may need to evaluate the
timing of your fuel stops and begin eating more often.

This isn't really an issue for me. I generally wake up hungry & 99% of the days, I start with a healthy breakfast. The rest of the day...not so much! I rarely feel actual physical hunger, but my mind messes with me that I "need" food, when I don't actually.

An easy "DAY" to get my head back in the game!

2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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9/20/19 5:29 P

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emoticon empowering :)



MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
9/19/19 7:50 P

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www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh1ZJ8OYpLQ

This song helped me get through a particularly bad depression. I listened to it every single day on my way to work. I have a hard time listening to it now because it just belongs in 2014 for me... But I am extremely grateful for it.

Edited by: MERMAIDLIFE at: 9/19/2019 (19:55)
2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
9/18/19 4:00 P

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emoticon I have found this to be life-changing and profoundly helpful...

when I 1st tried, I felt silly/childish... I bought some pretty sparkly stickers & colored pens to keep track of days I exercised, if I tracked (at all) and if I accomplished other little things like not eating between meals - which was a process/practice that helped me release bingeing... (and realized when I was struggling - like middle of the night or with strong negative emotions or when I did paperwork/paid bills/etc...) at 1st, it was like 1 sticker is cool... eventually, thought, i'd like to see more days than not this week and ok if not... it gave me permission to goof up but also helped me realize I was beating myself up with wet noodles for anythings I perceived as bad... instead of recognizing that I do way more right than wrong... 1 tears down self-esteem... the other restores and strengthens it and self-confidence.... 1 sends us to a hole to weep, the other to meet & greet the day and get on with life... it is something we claim when we say hey! I done did good! I am a good person. I have the right to live, breathe, smile and be happy! Let's get on with it!

I hope you find it helps too Mermaid!

back when biggest loser started, there was that song by Heather Small ~ what have you done today to make yourself proud? (London version) Not in a selfish/vain/obnoxious way... but how have you helped yourself today... it is truly a different perspective in how we view ourselves... do we take up criticisms where others leave off or do we become our own helper!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEoxGJ79PMs



emoticon I also like Hero

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntuqTuc6HxM



Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 9/18/2019 (16:08)
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
9/18/19 2:56 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 75: Small Wins

Today's lesson is about taking the previous one (about finding rainbows) and making it personal. We're supposed to be looking for "small wins." It can include all the positive things we do to stay on track in our diets and healthy lifestyles, and it can also include all the nice things we do that just make the world a better place. The point of the lesson is to give ourselves credit for the efforts we make, while also helping us balance out those crappy things in our day. Basically... Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative...

The little task for today is to keep a list of these small wins and let them accumulate. At the end of the day, read the list before bed, and declare yourself to be a great success! It's kinda like a self-gratitude journal. I have never kept a gratitude journal, not for any significant period of time, but it might be a good idea to start one... I can at least give it a week. My hope in keeping a self-gratitude journal would be to view myself less critically. My self-talk has greatly improved, but there is still work to be done. This lesson feels like a good next step in the process.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
9/17/19 7:32 P

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emoticon & emoticon has helped me acknowledge the rain/thorns and see past to the petals & sunshine



this also has been difficult ~ to accept the ick... and be thankful it's not worse! I also adore having a washing machine in the home.... having too much food to eat (compared to starving with a distended belly) ~ to have people to share life with... including here, doing things like these readings, together with you :)

emoticon hope you're feeling better soonest Mermaid! emoticon

MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
9/14/19 6:04 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 74: Watch for Rainbows

Today's lesson is really about gratitude and appreciating the small moments of joy and happiness in our lives. When we are attuned to noticing these things, we're less likely to reach for food when those rough days strike.

For me, today has been another rough day... It has seemed like it has been weeks upon weeks that I have felt lousy. I checked my blogs. It has only been a full two weeks! I was sick with another migraine yesterday, and I woke up cranky again this morning. I was snappy with my fiance, and eventually, I just had a full-on breakdown, a big ol' cry. Then we ate lunch, watched some TV, and I made a list of things I needed to get done, and started checking them off... I feel outstandingly better.

My rainbows today... My fiance, obviously. That man is exceedingly kind and patient. Also, my front yard. I don't take care of it well enough, and it's not pretty. But it is shaded in the afternoon, and I have a bird feeder. I like to "crack open a cold one with my best bud" in the afternoons. That means: I like to enjoy a can of sparkling water when I take my dog outside... He sniffs around, I watch the sparrows at my bird feeder, and usually read the Bible or play a game on my phone. I am also grateful for my washer and dryer, right inside my home. I love being able to do laundry without leaving the house, and I love having my laundry area right inside. I'll be putting fresh sheets on my bed tonight, and I'm looking forward to that!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
9/14/19 4:38 P

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emoticon day 72 sneak eating... nods... looking back, I can see how & when... usually in response to "restriction" imposed on me... so it is liberating to "reassure" myself that "I" (me, myself & I) can and will choose how, when, what, where & why to eat... I don't have to explain, defend or justify to any other person... it has helped to look my eating in the eye and be direct about the choices... the process helped me recognize some times/places/ways that were very/hard to break...

which leads me to

emoticon day 73, all - or nothing...

I rarely can do perfection... so I would whisper to myself... more practice! forget about the goofups, try more... and think of a person learning a complex dive or gymnastic skill... try. goof up. talk to coach about what happened and what to try next.. don't beat myself up... and go try again.

it helped... and... taking on this approach, helps me also recognize when sometimes it's like the wide/narrow road... different approaches at different times/needs :)

emoticon I do wish... what I know in my head would mean I conquered all these issues and no more problems or utter collapses and failures... I had a monumental struggle & collapse this year... is what it is... I tried, I struggled, I felt horrible, but... just means I need more practice! so I'm here... looking forward & trying more :)



emoticon emoticon emoticon next year, come January, I want to read Spangles next book 100 more days of weight loss... 3 chapters a week... that would go January though March. Would love to talk about it here :)



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9/12/19 1:08 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 73: All-or-Nothing

Today's lesson is about perfectionism! *cackles madly* Oh, this one hits close to home... It is definitely something I am working on this week! I am still struggling with my program, and it's super-aggravating. I just want the magic that I had a few weeks ago back. In the past, I would get more and more frustrated, blame it on the program, go completely off track for a few weeks, and then find a new program to try...

I am not doing that this time. I am choosing to do as Spangle suggests in the book: strive for excellence, not perfection. So while yes, I am struggling, and I'm not eating all of the correct things, I'm still eating about 90% of the correct things. I am drinking the correct amount of water about 5 out of 7 days of the week. I am participating in my Spark Teams. I am blogging. I am still doing most of the work of weight loss.

This gray area is kinda new to me. I don't really want to be here for long because I'm not losing weight, but it's not a terrible place to be. It's kinda like a clean gas station bathroom on a roadtrip... It's not where I want to spend all of my time, but it's pleasant enough...

The activities suggested for today's lesson are things like, "hang a picture crooked all day and see how it makes you feel." Lololololololol. Look, I can't do that, okay?! But I am learning to live with some imperfection. I am going with the ebb and flow, allowing myself some breathing room, and when I'm ready to kick it into high gear and take it the next level, I'll be ready. And I won't be undoing any damage! I'm avoiding the perfectionist guilt spiral that leads to bingeing, so I'm not causing myself any great harm. That's a big step for me!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
9/11/19 4:31 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 72: Sneak Eating

I definitely used to be guilty of "sneak eating." I made a rule awhile ago that I do not go through a drive-thru by myself. In fact, on the rare occasions that I go through a drive-thru at all anymore, I usually text my fiance about it. I text him what I'm going to order, and that gives me some accountability. Even though he's at work and he doesn't see what I'm actually ordering, I don't want to lie about it, so that does help keep me honest.

Eating in a restaurant usually keeps me on good behavior. I have some anxiety about eating in public, so I'll never go out to eat by myself, and I usually feel self-conscious about what I order and how I eat. I think this is good anxiety though. It's not so bad that it keeps me from going out, and it does help me make better choices.

I am most likely to want to sneak eat if it's a binge. I never full-out binge in front of anyone else. Oh, I'll overeat in front of my family, especially for holidays or the Super Bowl... But bingeing is a totally secret, totally self-punishing thing. In the book, Spangle mentions that sometimes, we can sneak eat as a way of getting back at someone else. But no, if I sneak eat, it's a binge, and the only person I'm intending to punish when I binge is me... A lot of times, that starts as self-soothing, but eventually, when I get disappointed in myself, it will turn into self-harm.

I do not generally sneak eat out of avoidance. Like, I don't sneak out to get away from the "diet police." I am lucky that I don't deal with that a lot. My fiance does a very good job of keeping me on program without being a jerk about it. He won't give in to my constant naggings about wanting fast food, and when I feel really awful, he has no problem cooking or suggesting a healthier alternative.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
9/9/19 2:40 P

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emoticon We can do hard! emoticon emoticon emoticon

life can be HARD. and way different than we thought it should be... live and learn, look forward, go live life!

emoticon 1 of the hardest things I managed to do was give up sickerettes, overcome the addiction. had to truly release it because it was hurting me... started in 1981... managed to quit, New Years Eve, 2005... so my quit date is 1/1/2006.... I am working on releasing the overeating with food. it is harder. can't go cold turkey with food... we have to eat enough... not too little... and it has been a learning process to figure out how to help myself with this... Spangle has helped me ponder various ideas... I have read and reread several times since 2008 and when I look back, I can see how my thinking has evolved as I try various ideas... and practice...

some things are no longer an issue... others remain tough.... 1 of the toughest is strong negative emotions/life events because I turn to food, out of habit... if I eat too many carbs, I re-ignite the appetite, and when that happens, stopping gets rough... like getting an alcoholic or drug addict to stop...

emoticon had an urge after a recent picture... day 6 trying again...

I wish I felt confident I wouldn't collapse/crash again... but I'm not going to fret the future, and am focused on today, this week... for now, want to treat it like a college tri-mester… see how my diabetes is in 12 weeks... if I can move better, then... It is hard to see, in a day or few but improves a bit every 5 or 10 lbs we lose... those are results... so will reassess in 12 weeks... and focus on daily/weekly activities, actions I can take and weekly results/markers until the 12 weeks ends (thinking it's about Thanksgiving time... which will be a good time for a Holiday plan/approach! Yum!!! LOL ;)

Onward...

Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 9/9/2019 (14:42)
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/30/19 10:08 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 71: It's Too Hard!

Today's lesson acknowledges that yes, it's hard to lose weight, but it reassures us: we've done hard things before, and we can do them now!

Write down: I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

Describe some hard things you've done: Was a caregiver for my dad after his first major surgery, and for every hospitalization since. Got my GED. Applied to college, got in, went! Knew when to come home. Got divorced. Lost a couple jobs. Been through some personal health things. Learning a new, male-dominated trade. Have completed like, five Whole30s!

Tell yourself you can do hard things: Absolutely, I can! Very little in my life has been easy. Of all the hard things I've done, this one is relatively easy. I can stick to my plan, and I know I can stick to an exercise plan, when I'm ready. Will it be tough? Yes. But I am tougher! And I'm worth the effort.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/30/19 9:17 P

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Sometimes when I go back and re-read old blogs, I just cringe... I repeat myself *constantly.* But I try to remind myself: I'm not here to entertain anyone. And neither are you! We are not Netflix, lol. We are here to talk it out and work on our issues, and if we repeat ourselves and go around in circles... Well, that's just a lesson we need to keep learning!

I do feel like I have made some progress though. I have lost nearly forty pounds this year, and I'm starting to feel like I did the last time I lost forty pounds... And I am absolutely determined to not gain it back again! I have learned more from 100 Days of Weight Loss than I have ANY other diet book or program. I'm very happy to be reading this book alongside SparkFriends like YOU!

emoticon

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
8/28/19 4:55 P

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emoticon agree with your thoughts Mermaid ~ I don't like characterizing any foods as bad/evil which implies I am too for eating them... and truth is, our bodies physically only need so much so it stores extra as fat... so I have eaten extra and am wearing too much food! but that does not make me a bad person, the food bad, and it does not mean that I am less worthy than any one else on the planet. just means I ate too much. I think Spangle helped me ponder these issues and arrive to this thinking... how I fell into my happy making guideline to "eat enough, not too much, not too little" and along with that, darn, choose foods that I like... preferably foods that help/nourish my body :)

I know when I post, I sound like a broken record.... and I don't mean to... but all things lead back to this for me... too much hurts me.... I tend to eat too much.... so back to basics for me... eat enough, not too much and choose foods I like that help my body :)

emoticon if we look past all the suggestions as hard and fast rules, we can ponder what the ideas really mean and if they will help us. I skip the rest... maybe later, maybe not... but I have found some essential truths in the pondering and I"m glad we're talking about them :)

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8/24/19 4:04 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 70: "No Good or Bad"

I think one of the hardest parts about changing our diet vocabulary is that words like "good, bad, cheat" are so prevalent, regarding food choices. It's really hard to make this vocab switch permanent (see me, constantly saying "cheat" last week), but I do feel like it's worth the effort.

I like this section from the book: "By changing your language, you take back your power around food. You also acknowledge that you are personally responsible for your decisions about what you eat."

Like I said yesterday, this whole idea of being able to take responsibility without making it personal is a whole new idea for me. Empowered responsibility. It's some really powerful stuff.

I went to a church lady crafting thing last night with my mom. She has a renewed commitment to her weight loss journey (I'm cautiously optimistic). There was a lot of food there, but we both did pretty well. I did notice how many times she used good/bad though. I know it's something she struggles with, too.

Part of today's lesson is to describe your food choices without good/bad, so... I chose to my follow my plan last night, for the most part. I did choose to indulge in one thing. I had one mini pecan pie muffin. I chose to eat it because it was a special food made by a special person. It was a very small portion, but it was very sweet! I don't regret my choice, but I do wish I had eaten it slower and savored it. Anything worth eating is worth enjoying.

This section of the book could not have come at a better time for me. I'm learning a lot, and I'm making some really great mindset changes.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/23/19 4:23 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 69: "No Cheating Allowed"

Today's Spangle lesson is about the word "cheat." And this is one of those things (like most weight loss things...) where I know better, but I don't necessarily DO better. I don't typically like using the word "cheat" in regards to dieting, but I have been using it a lot lately because... well, everyone knows what you mean when you say "cheat day." And since I had an "extended pause" with my eating plan last week, I've been saying "cheat" quite frequently! Well, I will take this suggestion from Spangle today and stop. I prefer using "pause" or variations of "choice/choose."

The other part of today's lesson is to talk to someone about your diet plan while making a conscious effort to use the word "choice." So, I'll write about it here, as if I were talking to someone about it for the first time...

The diet plan I am currently choosing to follow is a variation of keto. There is a lot that I really love about keto, but one of my favorite things about it is that you can really personalize it and experiment and make it your own. I really enjoy my food choices on keto, and I love that I have so many options to choose from in my town, in regards to dining out. Right now, I am choosing to abstain from grains and sugar, mostly. It's pretty simple when you think of it like that. Sometimes, I choose to eat something with artificial sweeteners, like Rebel ice cream, but I try to keep that to a minimum, since sweet stuff triggers my sugar cravings. Overall, I am happy that I chose this diet plan, and it's something that I feel like I can stick to for quite awhile. I could see myself eventually choosing to make this diet plan more of a long-term lifestyle change.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Spangle is right: using "choice/choose" is very empowering. A couple other lines from the book that really spoke to me...

"The truth is, you can't 'cheat' with food! It's impossible. The word 'cheat' refers to something illegal or immoral, and food is neither of these. You do not have some kind of moral or character defect just because you ate a cookie."

"You're in charge of your own choices. Take responsibility for the decisions you make around food, and then when you talk about your actions, describe them in ways that maintain your personal power."

The concept of taking responsibility for something, but having that NOT reflect on your personal character is kinda foreign to me... I take everything personally! So this is new territory, but I feel like it is something that can help me in all areas of life.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/22/19 10:35 P

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100 DWL, Day 68: I Had a "Pause"

Another excellent lesson about recovering from a slip-up or binge. Spangle encourages us to use the word "pause" when describing these incidents. It's non-judgemental, and it has nothing to do with your character or willpower. Label it as a pause, take some time to figure out what really happened, and then make a plan to move forward.

She also suggests a visualization technique: Imagine a dry-erase board, and then write down whatever happened. Mermaid suggestion: avoid using emotionally charged words and phrases; stick to the facts. "I ate ten cookies" and not, "I gorged on ten cookies." Write down whatever happened, and then imagine yourself wiping those words away and erasing the board, until you have a clean slate.

I really love the "pause" idea. That's all it is. It's just a brief period where you took a break. You don't have to "slip" up, "fall" off the wagon, or any of those other things that, now that I think about it, are all kinda violent verbs. You can just pause. I also like this word because it conveys control. If you hit the pause button, then you can also hit the play button. That remote control is in YOUR hands!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/21/19 2:41 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 67: Never Say "I Blew It"

Y'know... today's lesson would have been really helpful last week... Further proof that this book is really useful if you actually USE it...

Today is all about containment and damage control. Of course, Spangle doesn't use those words... But she's talking about EXACTLY what I did last week with my ill-fated cheat day. You have to learn to minimize these things so that they don't blow up and derail your entire program for several days. The phrase I so often hear is, "If you had one flat tire, would you slash the other three?" And the problem is, when I'm in the self-loathing throes of a binge, YES, I would slash the other three! I'd pour gasoline all over that car and torch the mother! So that phrase isn't very helpful to me. None of the well-meaning little quips are, typically. My psychology just doesn't work that way.

Spangle doesn't offer slogans. She encourages us to minimize the damage, keep a minor mistake from becoming a crisis. Her phrases are things like, "Well, that was interesting. I wonder what that was all about." "That was minor, so I need to keep it that way." I will try these types of phrases in the future. Generally, what happens, is I get very anxious about whatever the slip-up was and then I start getting panicky, and then the self-loathing kicks in, and then... I dunno, I have a really hard time digging myself out. I'm proud of myself that I always manage it, and I feel like these episodes are happening less often, and with a shorter duration... But it is still REALLY hard.

I like this section from the book: "When you think you've 'blown it,' you may decide you should punish yourself by eating even more. Although you feel bloated and miserable, you make yourself pay by pushing in more food, which makes you feel even worse."

THIS. Oh, man. Of all the diet and weight loss books I've read, this is the only one that makes me feel understood.

With this knowledge, looking back at my cheat day mishap...

First off, I could have planned it better. Pros and cons of having a cheat day in the first place aside... I thought I planned it well, and I could have planned it better. When I felt it getting away from me, I could have used any sort of distraction technique. That would have been a good time to do something nurturing like an at-home spa day. And I needed to remind myself that it wasn't my fault. The entire diet industry wants us to believe that we are fat because of some character flaw. But food products nowadays are created in labs where they are scientifically engineered to be hyper-palatable and incredibly addictive. Food companies aren't trying to feed and nourish you; they're trying to get you hooked and make money. It was not my fault that my planned meal caused me to experience very bad cravings. The shame spiral that happened after? Yeah, I could have shown more control over that. But I can still learn from it. Shame, guilt and self-loathing... It's like throwing gasoline on a fire when you're going through bad cravings. So the best thing we can do is love ourselves, know our worth, and try to minimize our exposure to foods that hurt us.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/15/19 1:38 P

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Laura, with all of the emerging research on intermittent fasting, I am skeptical of Day 13... I think it is yet another one of those weight loss things where every individual is different. A lot of folks do well with regularly timed small meals. At the same time, I think it's pretty counter-productive to eat if you're not hungry. I do well with IF, so I try to keep up with it. I know from personal experience that I can easily handle a 24 hour fast if I'm busy, so I don't let it worry me. I have found that keto and IF combined help me to better understand my eating cues, so that I can more easily recognize true hunger versus boredom, loneliness, thirst, etc. Experiment and see what works best for YOU.

...I am trying to get acclimated again after a cheat day that magically transformed into TWO cheat days... I'm sure I'm not the only one who has done that, ha!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CELTLADYMN's Photo CELTLADYMN SparkPoints: (8,852)
Fitness Minutes: (360)
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8/15/19 10:18 A

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Day 13 Oops, I forgot to eat!

~~Whenever you go long periods without fuel, your body protects itself by hoarding some
of the calories for later use. You also risk getting a late-day energy slump, which leads
to even more eating struggles.
~~Make it a habit to tell yourself, “I have no choice.” By convincing yourself that skipping
meals is not an option, you’ll work a lot harder to routinely take care of your fuel needs.
________________________________________
_______________________________

In the past, this would have been a day where I would have just scoffed!  Me...?  FORGET to eat??!?!



This time through, it is actually happening some days.  As I try to get more in tune with what my body is needing, I find a lot of things don't sound good anymore.



I was out of town last weekend, so our usual grocery pattern was disrupted.  We're also getting ready for a 2-week vacation, so don't want to buy a bunch of food that will go bad while we're gone.  So, "Mother Hubbard's" cupboard is looking pretty bare.  This has resulted in me skipping some meals.



The hard part is that I know I need to keep "fueling" my body with good energy, but I also feel like I can live "off the fat of the land" (A phrase my Dad used to say to us as teenagers!) for a while without doing any damage.



In the warm MN summers, it is more important that I keep well-hydrated than making sure I don't miss a single meal once in a while.



In the past, missing 2 weeks of the book, as I did this time, would have resulted in lots of berating myself and stopping all together.  This thread is helping me realize I have to take my time & let these "daily" lessons sink in as needed.  If I can really learn some lasting lessons about myself & my emotional food issues, I no longer care how long it takes.



2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
8/12/19 12:44 P

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Mermaid... sometimes... a thought/phrase that helps me to remind myself...

emoticon i am worth MORE THAN any bite(s) of that freakin' cookie! (or pizza, chips or whatevs….) there are times when I do make the choice to set aside overeating... and this can be helpful then.

i would agree this is not the stop technique in the throes of a binge... and other times, in struggles, i find an emotional compromise binge vs add an extra snack or double portions, or extra veggies or whatev helps...

so for me, this is not always or never but sometimes helpful... and sometimes... in situations like we were out for pizza and movie after... we could eat the leftovers or leave on plate... it would spoil in the hot summer car heat... in that case, I decided I was worth more than the $$ in the doggie bag... I was worth more than eating the last 2 slices... which would have put me to sleep during the movie I wanted to watch... :)

emoticon way to work through your thinking... and, I agree, it's not about being punitive... it's about looking for the positive reasons not to overeat the foods we don't physically need... and/or for our other positive reasons :)



Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 8/12/2019 (12:47)
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/11/19 8:04 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 66: Don't Even Start!

I'm not marking this day down as complete yet. I've struggled with it! I read it, and then it was like I totally forgot about it, when I had multiple opportunities to practice it. The idea of this lesson is to use a phrase to prevent you from even starting on very high-risk foods. Some foods, you can manage with the two-bite rule or other thinking, but we've all got at least a couple foods that are Don't Even Start foods. I'm just trying to think of a more positive phrase. In the book, Spangle suggests:
- Don't even start!
- Don't even go there!
- Stay on top of your plan.
- Hold your goals up high.
- Live above the crowd.

I haven't found one yet that is firm yet positive and resonates with me... Other SparkFriends have used things like "Just say no" and "not my food." I've even used the Eisenhower-inspired, "I do not have to do what that poor fellow is doing." All of these are useful, but I'm looking for something more affirming...

And it's reminding me of all those chip slogans advertising the addictive qualities of their product... "Once you pop, you can't stop!" "Bet you can't eat just one!" Well. You can never accuse them of false advertising. They're flat-out telling us that their product is addictive, and then blaming us for not being able to practice "will power." Pfft.

Anyway. I digress. What I'm trying to come up with is a catchy, upbeat slogan to use for this exercise. So far, I've got:
- Gurrrrrrrrrrrl. (LOL. Not much of a slogan, but you know the facial expression that goes with this!)
- You know better.
- Protect your program. (Day 6!)
- You're worth more.
- You deserve better.

Oooh. What about... "You know better, and you deserve better." Oh, I like that! It's strong, but affirming and not scolding. It's giving myself credit for knowing how to make a better choice while reminding me of my goals. YES.

I love it when I can blog something out and come up with a solution!


2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/7/19 12:08 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 65: Stimulus Narrowing

So the gist of today's lesson is about telling yourself "no" and then immediately moving on to something else... When confronted with a food trigger, decide firmly not to eat it, and then deal with it and move forward.

I've been doing pretty well with that lately. Instead of thinking and dwelling on a food craving, I remind myself of how much progress I've made in the past three weeks, how much better I am feeling, and than I think about what I CAN eat. I'm not always super successful, but I'm doing okay with it.

Last night was date night with my fiance. We went to a movie, and the theater was popping fresh popcorn. It smelled amazing! But I reminded myself that even though it smelled great, popcorn always makes me sick anyway, and it wouldn't be worth it. It was easy to just get my bottle of water and walk away.

We had dinner at Denny's because they have lots of low-carb options. The waitress made me feel funny about asking for bacon instead of a side of hashbrowns with my omelet... Obviously, I researched my options ahead of time, and it shouldn't have been a deal, but she was all, "Oh, gosh, I don't know if we can do that, I'll have to ask my manager..." Like, really? And she repeated my order back to me like, three times... "Ultimate omelet, no hashbrowns, no bread." I am really self-conscious about ordering anything special. I just felt like I had a neon sign over my head flashing, "FAT LADY ON A DIET!" Ugh. It didn't help that my omelet was lousy, and my fiance ordered an absolutely beautiful burger... Oh, I lusted after that burger. But I reminded myself that while, yes, I could make a better omelet at home, I could also make myself a burger plate at home, and in fact, I have all the ingredients... And if trying to swap out a side confused that waitress, then I can't imagine how confused she would have been if I had tried ordering a burger without a bun! I am not proud that I pouted a little after the incident, and I almost allowed it to ruin my night... But it could have been worse, and I learned a lot from the experience. Mainly, that an unwich at Jimmy John's is a much more satisfying and cheaper option...

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/4/19 2:09 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 64: Instant Tools for Triggers

I have struggled with this lesson all week because it seemed too similar to other recent lessons. I couldn't really figure out what I was supposed to do... And then I got two migraines this weekend! Think of "instant tools" as a panic button. In the book, Spangle uses brushing your teeth as an excellent tool that can halt a binge in its tracks. I've used that before, definitely! Throw in flossing and mouthwash, and you've got a great strategy. The strategy that I used was simple: I just went to bed! It's not always an option, but for migraine cravings, it's almost always the best... Any time I am sick, but especially during a migraine, I have terrible cravings for McDonald's and Coke. I usually justify it by saying that the caffeine helps the headache. And yeah, that's true, but there are other sources for caffeine... Taking a nap and drinking some iced tea worked just as well, probably better!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
8/2/19 3:58 P

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Woo-hoo, Laura, keep it up! You're doing great!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CELTLADYMN's Photo CELTLADYMN SparkPoints: (8,852)
Fitness Minutes: (360)
Posts: 258
8/1/19 1:24 P

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Day # 12

Fuel or filler
~Take a close look at the foods you eat most.
~Are you getting adequate amounts of fuel?
~Or do you keep adding lots of filler to your tank?

Filler usually harms your energy as well
as your weight-loss efforts. When you reach for snacks or desserts that you know are
filler, limit yourself to small amounts. Focus on appreciating the tastes of these foods
rather than using them as your main fuel source for the day.
________________________________________
________________________

This has been getting easier for me lately. When I get out of the habit of fast food/junk, it quickly starts to sound GROSS to me. I actually start to crave fruits & veggies more.

I've been allowing myself one sweet "filler" every night. Been doing sugar free Klondike Bars are fudgecicles. It addresses my sweet tooth without doing too much damage to my overall calorie intake.

Otherwise, working on filling up with veggies and lean protein.

On a side note, I'm starting August at the lowest weight in 5+ years. Happy with my progress.


2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
7/28/19 5:22 P

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Usually, when I blog about 100 Days of Weight Loss, I read the next day right away, and since I've practiced this a lot and have very strong feelings about it, I'm going to go ahead and knock out another day!

emoticon
100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 63: Buffers

"Whenever possible, put some distance or “buffers” between you and your high-risk,
problem foods. Instead of trying so hard to improve your willpower, simply don’t allow
yourself to be tempted in the first place." (from the free journal, found at weightlossjoy.com)

YES.

This type of thinking is why I feel like stricter diets work better for me. "NO" is easier than "maybe a little." Of course, I understand that this strategy looks different for different people. I've heard lots of variations. I've heard people say, "I can't keep ice cream in the house. If I want ice cream, I force myself to actually get out of the house to get it." I've also heard, "No premade cookies! If I want cookies, I force myself to make them from scratch." It's also just as simple as not buying and keeping certain things in your home. "Say NO once at the grocery store, or say no a hundred times at home!" Flat-out abstinence is sometimes much easier than moderation.

What happens when you can abuse just about every food? What happens when you can binge on nearly anything?

I think that describes ME, and why I can do something like Whole30 or Keto, but I cannot do WW or calorie counting to (literally) save my life.

I'm taking my keto journey an extra step by trying to rule out artificial sweeteners. I know (and envy) a lot of people who can use them, but they are not for me. First, there are physical side effects. They tend to give me headaches (aspartame and sucralose) and digestive issues (erythritol). And then there's the psychological aspect. Sweet makes me crave more sweet, regardless of how much sugar is actually present. So then, there's over-consumption, and then the dreaded side effects, and... Ugh. It's just not worth it. I can manage it in small amounts. I just purchased a sugar-free barbecue sauce that is decent, not great, and that's not something I'm in danger of over-consuming, just because of the funky aftertaste... (Real barbecue sauce, I will practically drink... I love sauces.) But I recently tried a pint of Rebel ice cream, and it was really good, but not really worth the sugar cravings and tummy troubles. Same story with any kind of low-carb treat, like the candies from Atkins. They just really aggravate my sweet tooth, so I'm better off abstaining from that kinda stuff pretty much entirely.

emoticon
I've seen recipes for keto mousse, where you just make sugar-free Jell-O pudding with heavy whipping cream... And I want to try it sooooo bad, but I also know it would make me feel like craaaaaaaaap.... *whiiiiiiiiiiiiines*

emoticon
(Sorry I got so wordy there!)

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
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7/28/19 4:48 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 62: Non-food Triggers

Day 62 is about looking out for and paying attention to non-food triggers that drive us to eat. I spent a couple days on this exercise since I could tell that my cravings were changing. My triggers are still pretty much the same though. Boredom is a big one, and so is stress. One of my new triggers is being thirsty! I guess it's not really new; most experts agree that thirst can be mistaken for hunger. But I REALLY notice it now. I absolutely have to get in at least 12 cups of water per day. I will feel very snacky if I don't.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
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7/26/19 11:31 P

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I haven't been reading my book for almost two weeks, but I'm ready to get back to it.

I worked on savoring today. I had a piece of Ghirardelli dark chocolate. It was really good and I was fine with just one piece. I need to remember this when I indulge in certain foods. Savor a small amount.

 current weight: 297.0 
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7/24/19 1:30 P

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Food: any nourishing substance that is eaten, drunk, or otherwise taken into the body to sustain life, provide energy, promote growth.

emoticon and I would add... that we like and enjoy... I don't eat food I don't like anymore... I do explore new2me nourishing foods... and after a fair shot, I add them to my regular foods if I like them... so both parts are important to me... nourishes me physically & emotionally :)

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7/23/19 4:25 P

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Laura, I have found the actual textbook definition of food to be very helpful this past week.

Food: any nourishing substance that is eaten, drunk, or otherwise taken into the body to sustain life, provide energy, promote growth.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CELTLADYMN's Photo CELTLADYMN SparkPoints: (8,852)
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7/22/19 2:29 P

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Day 11...Two purposes of food

From now on, plan that you will eat for only two reasons:
1) to fuel your body
2) to appreciate flavors

Measure all of your food intake against these guidelines. Plan for a minimum of three
fuel stops a day, then add a couple of mini-stops in between. You may want to space
out your fuel intake by eating five or six small meals each day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is such a change in my normal food thinking, that I want to really take the time to absorb it. I've spent my entire adult life looking at food as a way to deal with every possible emotion I feel. Sad, happy, angry, stressed I'm not sure when this behavior started, but it is so deeply ingrained.

I'm working hard to view food as fuel. What a concept! Also actually tasting my food. I'm such a volume eater. I can eat a whole package of something & not actually "taste" any of it. I may as well be eating cardboard.

I'm going to spend the next few days working on keeping FUEL and FLAVOR in mind.

I'm embarrassed to admit this is probably as far as I've made in in the 100 Days book in the past. I'd rather take my time & actually try to learn about myself than quit, so I'm planning to pace myself.

Hope you are all doing well!


2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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7/21/19 11:23 A

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 61: Food Triggers

Today, Spangle wants us to focus specifically on sights, smells, etc. that directly trigger food cravings.

I think the biggest one for me is advertising. Seeing a commercial on TV has sent me straight to the drive-thru on more than one occasion. Or, it will create that kind of craving where I can't think of anything else until I Get. That. FOOD! Yesterday, I was tracking my nutrition here on Spark, and there was a sneaky McDonald's ad right there at the bottom. Like, I know they need the money, and I know I could just pay for premium, but still. Just irks me.

I have a funny trigger, too... Y'all know I live in Texas, and you're probably aware that Texans love their barbecue. There is a barbecue joint near one of my usual grocery stores, and the air around that place smells AMAZING. You can just be minding your own business, walking into the store with your grocery list full of veggies, and BAM! Brisket! This happens a lot... I used to deal with this just taking my dog out, too. The Walmart near my house used to have a Burger King, and you could open the front door and get smacked in the face with the smell of Whoppers. They've closed recently, but there are still other fast food joints near my home. They don't smell as strong as Burger King though.

Those are really my two strongest triggers. Sometimes, I'll get a bad craving for popcorn when I go to the movie theater, but popcorn always irritates my stomach, so that one's easy to get over.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
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7/18/19 6:46 P

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Laura, I just wanted to say that you are doing AWESOME. And thank you for continuing to post!

I have a very hard time during the "emotional eating" sections of this book. I really like that Spangle breaks it up into sections, so you're not having to do a massive amount of work in this area... I hit a wall on Day 60. It's about creating a list and a "stop sign" for bingeing, but since I was in the middle of a binge cycle, I really wasn't even able to think about it at all. I have tried several times to just sit down and DO IT, and it was torture, every time. Thankfully, my binge cycle is done, and I can look at this with fresh eyes and attempt it again...

Day 60, Create a Stop Sign
emoticon

Okay, so the goal is to create an emergency plan when you feel a binge coming on. Spangle suggests you create two lists, one for Heart Hunger and one for Head Hunger.

emoticon
Heart Hunger Action Plan
-- Take a long shower.
-- Lotion up. Use a face mask.
-- Make a cuppa tea OR a big glass of ice water, and watch something soothing or listen to some jazz and read.

The goal of my Heart Hunger Action Plan is to create a cozy, comfy, nourishing, and nurturing feeling without food.

emoticon
Head Hunger Action Plan
-- Clean something. Start with dishes or laundry.
-- Blog it out!
-- Do a short workout video or dance to terrible pop music.

The goal of my Head Hunger Action Plan is to vent frustration! Since my messy house is usually a source of that frustration, taking steps to fix it (instead of procrastinating!) is a great place to start.

After weeks of struggling with this lesson, these lists came together right away today! I'm really glad to be moving forward again!



2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
CELTLADYMN's Photo CELTLADYMN SparkPoints: (8,852)
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7/18/19 12:55 P

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Day # 10

Appreciate good support

Whenever someone offers you a genuine comment about your progress, try to respond
warmly to the person who pays you the compliment. Use your response to affirm and
appreciate the other person by saying something such as, “You can’t imagine how much
it means to hear you say that. Thank you!”

This is an area that I could improve on in all parts of my life.

I don't take compliments very graciously. I tend to be quick to qualify any compliments with a "Thanks, but..." response. If someone says something nice about my clothes, I always want to minimize it..."Oh, it was on sale" or "This old thing?". I'm trying to be more aware of simply saying "Thanks".

As I've mentioned before, even though I'm almost -40#s total in the last 18 months, no one has noticed a thing. I haven't even really changed much in clothing, other than things fitting more comfortably & looser. I got rid of a couple pairs of my largest jeans/pants, because they started looking really sloppy, but haven't been able to fit into much in my closet that is smaller yet.

So, overall, this Day's project is something I want to continue to work on in all aspects of my life. A good reminder.

2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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7/15/19 12:58 P

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Day # 9...Here's what I want...

This exercise was a good way to open up a conversation with my hubby.  We've been together for 20+ yrs, so he's seen me through many weight changes & lots of struggles.

There wasn't anything surprising for me in my answers, as I don't like my food choices/efforts to be critiqued by anyone.  It has a very negative impact on my results.  I think this stems from my Dad being very vocal about any weight changes when I was a teenager.  I have older cousins who were always very large and that was the constant "threat" of ...You don't want to get as big as "X".

Now, as an adult, I react very poorly to anyone mentioning my food choices and my stupid, stubborn "Don't tell me what to eat!" kicks in.  The best response is to ignore it.

The only thing I would like acknowledged is positive things in private.  As I've talked about before, I have announced my plans to lose weight so many times in the past & failed that I really don't talk about it anymore, except to hubby and a couple close friends.  

It would mean a lot to lose enough for the general public of friends and acquaintances to notice it for real...not only because they know I'm working on it. With my starting size and my clothes being looser, it will be a while before anyone really notices enough to say something. I look forward to the genuine, sincere compliments...when they come.

That's what I want!

Edited by: CELTLADYMN at: 7/18/2019 (12:49)
2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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7/12/19 9:36 A

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Day 8 Help me, please...

To get support instead of criticism from the people you love, you may have to train them. Set up agreements with your support people by saying, “It will help me if…” followed by what you want them to do. Be sure you also let people know the things you don’t want them to do or say.

Today ~

--In the space below, write a list of things that people are always welcome to say or do in regard to your weight-loss efforts. Examples might include offer you compliments, protect you from dessert, or clear the table after meals.  

--Positive comments on my clothes fitting better

--Recognition of being more active

--Encouragement in private



--Create another list of things you don’t ever want people to do such as snatch your plate away, give you lectures, or admonish, “You’re not supposed to be eating that.”

--ANYTHING negative

--ANYTHING said in a larger group



This one was interesting for me to think about.  With my pattern of trying to get healthier & then quitting, I've really stopped telling most people about my current efforts.



Because of how big I am, it will still be quite a while before most people even notice a difference.  Since my hubby and a couple close friends are the only people (in real life) who know about my current attempt to lose weight & get healthier, I've asked them to comment anything positive to me only in private.  I look forward to the day when the general public (work people, casual friends, other family) actually can see a difference & I'll deal with those comments when the time comes.

2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
7/10/19 3:53 P

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so, how's it going?


Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 7/10/2019 (15:53)
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7/8/19 5:01 P

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emoticon I also wish they would take junk/fast food ads off the tv, just like they removed sickerette ads... tv ads are 1 of my biggest evening triggers too!

emoticon when I 1st read Spangle, and the easy mantra sayings... I started using the Little Engine that could...

Icandoit icandoit icandoit… over and over and over... it helped....

Icandoit icandoit icandoit
Icandoit icandoit icandoit
Icandoit icandoit icandoit

Choo! Choo!

not chew chew!!!

Here's to doing it! emoticon

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7/8/19 10:52 A

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WE CAN DO IT!!


Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


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7/8/19 10:44 A

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Day 62:Non-food triggers
Habits & Emotions

I can be totally on track and finished eating everything I need for the day and then I fall victim to the late night snack. Unfortunately it usually is not a healthy bowl of strawberries I reach for.


I also am an emotional eater emoticon . I am an emotional person overall. I am happy and love big or I can cry or be sad big.

Non-food cues:
emoticon emoticon Extreme heat makes me crave popsicles.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Holidays are a huge food trigger!
emoticon I don't watch much T.V. or many movies, but when I do I want something to nibble on.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Happy or sad, emotionally I can eat either way. I am worse about eating through storms then rainbows.

I would like to think I am getting stronger about not eating through my emotions or just out of bad habits.
emoticon emoticon emoticon Sticking to a schedule and a plan, logging all my food, exercising, connecting with my Spark friends all help to keep me going and trying.



www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_j
our
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=5887464


Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 7/8/2019 (10:46)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


 Pounds lost: 42.3 
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7/8/19 10:43 A

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Today is a reminder of how good it feels to stick with it...even if I miss LOTS of days in between journaling. In the past, I would have quit, but allowing myself to go at my own pace is very affirming.


Day 7 I can do it!

Practice saying the words “I can do it!” over and over. Write them on sticky notes, and
then post them on your mirror, your computer screen, and your car dash.
Read them many times a day, maybe even 100 times. Push them deep into your mind
and use them as a powerful affirmation that you will succeed with your plan.

I have found affirmations to be very helpful when I was working on changing behaviors/building new habits many years ago.. So, of course...I STOPPED doing it. That seems to be a pattern in my life, Once something starts to have a positive impact for me, a small voice inside always tells me "You've got this & no longer need these tools".

This is something I'm trying to be hyper-aware of on this leg of my journey.

The weird thing is that I'm very stubborn & competitive, which are things you would think I could put to good use in redirecting toward my weight loss efforts. It's really a matter of recommitting to ME every single day.

I must get back to work, but wanted to jump back into 100 Days & get it rolling again.

I CAN DO THIS!!


2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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7/7/19 11:25 A

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Days 61-70 TRIGGERS AND WORD PLAY

Day 61: Food triggers

Sights, smells, and tastes
I don't venture out into the big world often emoticon . I make on average of 1 trip a month to Corinth a simi big town.

This is the only time that I am faced with the temptations of fast food. This week we went to Cracker Barrel. I had grilled chicken tenders, green beans, and baby carrots. I was with in my calorie range, I ordered healthy options, then I had one biscuit with apple butter. Hard to resist when they are on the table in front of me.


My husband is triggered by every commercial on T.V. He can go on and on about wanting something he sees. I am usually good about blocking out what ever he is rattling on about but he doesn't make it easy to ignore him.


Food triggers food for me. It is hard to not crave a huge cinnamon roll with a bowl of chili. Growing up in rural Kansas this was actually a favorite school lunch.

emoticon I think my best strategy against food triggers is just putting up the stop sign and concentrating on mindful eating.


I Choose Me!!

Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 7/7/2019 (11:34)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


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7/4/19 10:51 A

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Day 60: Create a stop sign

Three things to do besides eating:
1.) Breathe

I am taking a weekly Tai Chi class. We find our center by holding an imaginary ball in front of us and inflating and deflating it as you breathe in and out. It does kind of bring things into balance. I can also stop and do it anywhere.

2.) Rocking chair on the porch

I actually have rocking chairs on the front porch where I can look down the drive way and out on my back deck where I can watch cows! Removing myself from stress or frustration or just to find a little relaxation and meditation is helpful.

3.) Hydrate, drink water!

Sometimes just drinking a glass of water helps me stop from eating.

I do have to take responsibility for stocking my pantry and refrigerator with good healthy food.

It is hard to binge on junk food if junk food is not available.I


Link to Linda Spangle's day 60 blog.
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_j
our
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=5877365



Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 7/4/2019 (11:02)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


 Pounds lost: 42.3 
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7/3/19 5:27 P

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ok, had to share this blog... You're not a dog. it struck me as effective & easy helpful trick ;)

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=6602083


Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 7/3/2019 (17:28)
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emoticon nods & emoticon

I remember the 1st time I saw the doc wrote 'morbidly obese' in my chart at 180... I was horrified, mortified, deeply ashamed...

when I tried to tell docs that this was beyond dieting... beyond just swapping or skipping mayo on a sandwich, they would tell me to use portion sizes, pat me on the knee/arm and tell me I would be just fine...

and I wasn't... gaining 5-10 lbs a year, despite several/many serious efforts to "diet" ~ usually very low calorie/fad/crash diets...

emoticon in my youth, I was active and in a normal weight range... but considered too fat in society... Twiggy was all the rage... and people were always trying to fix me/get me skinny, suggest I should lose weight.

emoticon I think this incessant bombardment that we are too fat gets internalized that we are not ok, not lovable, don't deserve what other people have... until we lose weight. at least it did with me...

emoticon there have been a few "essential eipiphany turning points" in my journey ~ when I claimed for myself that I am ok, just as I am, everyone else be danged... I have as much right to live, love, laugh and be happy as the stranger on the street, the friend/acquaintance wherever I go.... within my own family... and from that decision, I began to choose me and things that help me... and it is emotional, painful and full of bumps along the way, especially when we still have to deal with people who dump their crap on us... and that is why I am so glad we're yakking here.



emoticon for depression... back in maybe 2006, I was watching a show on public tv by a Dr. Amien? Amen? Change your brain, change your life... who said that studies had shown that if you take a moment and list the things you are truly grateful for... that it helps with depression - they were surprised, within weeks, in big ways. I started doing that, because it is easy for our attention to be on the hard/tough/rotten/unfairness of life things and these can cause great unhappiness, eh? Sometimes my list was very basic. I am alive. I have too much food to eat. I have a place to sleep. I am glad I am not starving in a 3rd world country, naked with an distended bloated belly where flies land! And when I ponder that, it is easier to see how lucky I am to live here, even when it sucks sometimes...



thank you for being part of my emoticon

emoticon Happy 4th of July my friends



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7/3/19 2:13 P

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Day 58: Heart hunger/Day 59: Heart hunger "insteads"

Empty emotions and depression is something I do struggle with EVERDAY!! I thought this Jim Carrey post summed it all up rather well.

I can eat an entire box of ice cream and while it may soothe me for a little while it always has consequences. The sugar high is followed by a crash. I have a lactose sensitivity that means dairy products are going to put me into gastric distress. It is CrAzy to eat something that will cause physical pain because of abdominal cramping not to mention the diarrhea. Maybe it is more mental for me. Soothing with pain???

emoticon I took anti depression medication for years. My problems never went away. I still lost a baby. My first partner still got another woman pregnant while going through fertility treatment with me. My husband still got sick. The fat little girl who is hearing impaired and wears pop bottle glasses still lives in me.I don't want to be numb to the world and that is what the pills do to me. I do think some people do need medication it is just not for me. I choose a more natural holistic approach. Treating mind, body and spirit.


I am going to choose:
emoticon Sunshine
emoticon Healthy food
emoticon Friendship and support
emoticon Exercise
emoticon Peace and positivity

I choose Me!





Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


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7/3/19 1:24 P

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Day 57: Head hunger "instead"
Crunch away frustrations...

Sometimes I am worse than a pig rooting for truffles. I have found that one of my best strategies is to substitute the crunch for a healthy alternative.
emoticon carrots and emoticon apples are my "go to crunch" . I am better on track and in better control as long as I have them to grab instead of chips, cookies, crackers etc.

I would like to say that "instead" of eating when frustrated:
*I will ride my recumbent bike.
*blog
*read
*sat on front porch in rocking chair
* play with dog

The list is great and fine to remind myself that I can't eat away frustrations. There are other alternatives. Reality is there are going to be times that I do turn to food so I need a plan to control the damages. Crunchy through a bag of carrots can sometimes get me through a binge and keeps me in calorie intake range at the same time.

Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 7/3/2019 (14:25)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


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7/3/19 12:35 P

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I feel very blessed to have found my Dr. I had some horrible experiences with prior Dr's who were awful, judging & very disrespectful.

About 5 years back, I hadn't been to a Dr in YEARS. I was dizzy all the time & felt like crap. No idea what my blood pressure was & generally very head-in-the-sand about my overall health. I was deeply in the throes of care-giving, as my Mom's & sister's health were my main priority.

I finally worked up the nerve to go in & lucked out with my Dr. Since then, as she's gotten to know how stubborn and stupid I can be, she has given me a little tough love, but mostly compassionate care.

This last appointment, she was so proud of my weight loss & bloodwork that we both ended up crying. I told her I would likely be DEAD if I hadn't been lucky enough to find someone who didn't make me feel even worse about myself when I needed help. We're tweaking blood pressure meds & still working on cholesterol, but overall the improvement has been great,

After yesterday's busy message board activity on here, I told my hubby how grateful I felt to have found all of you...this community where thoughts & fears don't have to be censored & people nod along with loving care!

Hugs to you, dear teammates!

2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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7/2/19 10:24 P

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My doctor was over the moon emoticon with my bloodwork. I have RA and the weight does cause added problems less weight = less stress. My doctor treats me with a reasonable amount of respect and always tells me that she knows I know what to do. She skips lectures and standard charts. I also live in a little bitty town, she knows my family history and the day to day stress I live with. My life my journey when I am ready then I will loose more. She is all about slow and steady and making small life adjustment that are maintainable. First doctor I have had who took the "embrace the plateau" attitude.

Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 7/3/2019 (14:24)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


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7/2/19 9:56 P

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emoticon emoticon emoticon
I love this group! It helps to be able to talk to so many other ladies who really "get" it. I have such a hard time using any other support group because it's full of people who don't understand that 300 can be an accomplishment. They just see it as "rock bottom." And yeah, I get that, but... I'm trying so terribly hard to get down to 399 now. I need people who understand that.

I'm also sooo glad that y'all have such supportive doctors! I've heard so many horror stories from people losing 50 pounds and then their doctor just says, "That's great, lose 70 more." I love that you've got doctors who are proud of your weight loss and encouraging you to maintain. Out of curiosity, did your doctors tell you any specific time to aim for maintenance? Like, hang out at 300 lbs for six months before trying to lose more? I think it's a really important part of the process, and I think more people should think of their plateau as "mini maintenance."

I loved all of your pictures! I was 320 in high school, so it's a little different for me, but I still wish desperately to be "that fat" again. I didn't look nearly as bad as I thought I did.

Lots of hugs tonight, girls. Y'all really make me feel seen and understood and supported.

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
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7/2/19 6:44 P

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Lori, You did look good and healthy at 230 emoticon . I think finding a weight that we fell good at is more important than trying to confirm to society standards. My doctor like Laura's was very pleased with my weight loss and told me that maintaining even at 300 was an accomplishment. Slow weight loss with healthier habits is better than burning quickly than crashing. I have decades of quick losses followed by quicker and even greater gains. That is how I ended up so big.
emoticon


Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


 Pounds lost: 42.3 
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7/2/19 6:05 P

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When I was in high school, I weighed 128 pounds, and the guy I was dating said I had fat thighs and needed to lose weight. I was (and still am) 5'8". Here is a picture of me when I was in a play in high school.



Here I am with a little Ben a little more than 10 years ago at a 5K race at O'Hare airport. I'm somewhere around 230lbs. I really enjoyed 5K races. I'm looking forward to doing them again. I was so embarrassed in this picture because I was SO FAT. Now I look back at that picture and think I look athletic. Not like a professional athlete, but I like how I looked then. Sigh.



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7/2/19 4:10 P

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Laura,
I think maintaining at 300 is a victory. I have been up emoticon down emoticon all around 300 (306 today) for the last 8 months. Yes, I would love to loose more but I am very proud of myself that I am not back at 360. So many folks want to be "normal" but I think we have to be "realistic". I also think that having a plateau is a way that gives our bodies a time to adjust. My blood work is great my A1C was actually on the low end.

I have a friend who is 220. To me she looks fantastic. She has woman curves and she looks healthy. I am only 5'3", so the charts say I should weigh 120-130 pounds. That seems unrealistic. A goal of loosing 80 pounds is BIG but 180 pounds seems daunting and unachievable. If I can't do it why even try? Negative thinking takes over. I have to celebrate and be happy where I am at in order to continue to maintain or have anymore progress. Not sure if this makes sense???


High School 1986 -180# and I thought I was morbidly obese. I wonder how different life would have been if anyone would have told me that I was perfectly fine and at a healthy weight?

Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 7/3/2019 (14:22)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


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7/2/19 3:55 P

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Laura emoticon

this all can be so emotional!!!

I love the idea of holding the loss for a bit... and also seem to hit a wall after a bit... I have no answers on how to get through that wall and keep going.... instead of crashing... sometimes I think... if I could just not fret it... get out of my head... breath, whisper it...

Christi - love that breathe/exhale!!!

emoticon ok.... i'll just say again... don't really have people in the real world who can talk about these things, who "get it" ~ so love that we're talking here... and honestly, it helps... YOU may not realize how much YOU help others by sharing here... but... I like to think it's mutual... and I'm glad we're back yakking again...



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7/2/19 3:21 P

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LIFECHANGZ,

You clearly struck a cord with me, since I'm sitting here at my desk, nodding along & tearing up reading your post. Ahhhh...someone who GETS IT!

I had a physical last month & talked a lot with my Dr about a healthy weight for me at this point in my life (58 yrs old)...after all these years at increasingly heavier size. She said she would love to see me get under 300#s and stay there for a while. She is well aware of my yo-yo-ing and my "All or Nothing" way of thinking. She said it would be a major victory for me to maintain a loss for a while, rather than always thinking it's not enough.

Obviously, any "normal" sized person would be appalled to be 300#s!! But, it's a number I haven't seen in 25+ years and still seems like a pipe dream to me. Even now, as I approach 40# loss from my highest weight (for the millionth time!), I can feel the panic of self-sabotage setting in. Life long patterns are tough to break. We're all getting SOMETHING from our behaviors and I need to find things to replace whatever warped SOMETHING I get from this craziness.

I'm aware that every person out their has their ISSUES that they're dealing with every day. I just wish mine weren't out front & center for the whole world to see!


2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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7/2/19 3:03 P

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emoticon regarding binges (& food addiction) ~ emerging information shows it can be progressive... more & more quantity/frequency = less satisfaction... the food does not fix the trigger... and if the body is in a "state of voracious appetite/brain chemicals similar to drugs/alcohol addictions" ~ then more & more food reaches a point where you can be physically stuffed and still crawling the wall for more...

I never had the language/words to explain that weird physical thing going on - physically agitated crawl the wall thing even though I had eaten plenty... until I stumbled across the information for binge eating (disorder at the extreme) and physical food addiction (like an alcohol bender at the extreme)… that both can be progressive and hard to stop/change/improve/fix...

and recognized... ah ha... my eating patterns have a name.... nothing quite described me... and realized it is a complex snarl of multiple things that combine to whammy me... attitudes like I love food and holiday foods and junk foods and all foods... especially pie... did I say I love food? to beliefs about food for social/cultural reasons... to habits of eating this & that, now and then... always... to emotional dependence and reliance on foods when I'm mad, sad, bad, glad... for every reason... then add in the physical dependence and response in the body when too much food has ignited a physical response/addiction...

and blammo… it can feel impossible to fix... I imagine much like an alcoholic or drug addict who are on a bender and can't get stopped either... we might not have the same withdrawals like the extreme shaking, but we still have physical withdrawals

and we still have to unwind/unravel all those non-food ways/reasons we eat and relearn how to live life without using food for all those reasons... and at times, that feels impossible to me...

emoticon as I look back... I can see how and when binge/sneaking food became part of my eating... how I craved it ~ in response to all the sweets & treats we ate... I wanted more and when they told me no... well, I found a way instead... and that strengthened and grew more and more a part of my eating... and decades later... we're supposed to all of a sudden stop, just change the way we eat, lose all our weight and keep it off forever???

emoticon that kinds of "expectation" is something I have always failed...

emoticon I wonder if it is possible... and honestly, I can't even imagine... the last time I was a normal weight in childhood and relatively athletic/energetic in my youth was slowly lost as I got older, fatter and sicker...

I don't know how life would be as an adult as a normal weight...

I don't know if it is reasonable or possible to get to a normal weight... I have have hundreds of pounds to lose and the thought of never eating sweets/treats or anything good again sends me into a binge...



so, I don't have any answers, other than... I am sick, and it's worth trying... to get better... to start where I am... make choices each day that help me, instead of hurt me... and I'm glad we have a place to talk about these things...

we are all worth saving... we all matter... and I'm glad we're working on these things together :)



Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 7/2/2019 (15:06)
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7/2/19 2:56 P

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Day 6 Protect your program:

Instead of depending on others to help you be successful with your diet, make a
commitment that you will protect your program at all costs!

Anytime you feel pressured to eat something, sidestep the food pusher by saying,
“Not just yet; I’m going to wait a little while.”

I tried to think of the last time I would have felt "pressured" to eat something. To be honest, I can't really remember an instance of this. Most people in my life are very supportive of my efforts to get healthier. Even when my hubby makes poor choices, he doesn't push me to do the same.

When I think of protecting my plan at all cost....it is ME I have to protect it from! My own sabotage of my plan is my biggest threat. That's why it is so important that I work daily on the head-game part of weight loss. As so many of you have posted about, too...it's the emotional eating that is causing me the most trouble and always has.

LIFECHANGZ,
That's happened to me before, too...must be a system glitch with posts not showing up until I post my own.

My overall plan is working, as I've had a couple weeks of decent losses in a row. Right now, I'm at my lowest weight in 4+ years, which is a big victory. The challenge is to keep it up. This is the stage in the game where I think "I've got this!" & start getting sloppy.

Probably enough rambling from me for today. Just as an FYI...I'm copying these posts into an online journal I'm doing at penzu.com, which is interesting to reread once in a while.


2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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7/2/19 2:44 P

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emoticon very weird... until I posted my day 3 just now... I could not see any of the posts after Laura's on 6/25. I will have to doubleback, read & catch up... and here I thought y'all had stopped yakking again!

emoticon

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7/2/19 2:39 P

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emoticon wonderful plan Laura! how's it going?

emoticon Happy 4th of July week everyone! we have 1/2 a year ahead to rock it!



I was thinking about Day 3 ~ Do it Anyway (interested or committed)

thinking about the back slides, getting worse/fatter/sicker cycle, stopping the backwards slide and starting the climb back up the hill and forward to better health...

have you ever noticed the less you do and stop, the worse you feel... and weirdly, the opposite... as you do more, you start to feel better, stronger and more optimistic? It's a weird thing... blogged it, so won't repeat it all here except to say that I think the day 3 "just do it anyway" is a helpful lesson ~ it triggers rebellion in me if I think of it as "don't tell me what to do..." but it helps me if I embrace the idea that doing something, anything that helps me will help my body and lift my spirit and help me feel like doing more... so, the nuts & bolts of this for me, are to "do things today to help me ~ it will help my body & strengthen my mind & soul :)



Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 7/2/2019 (14:42)
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7/2/19 11:47 A

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Christi,
I read an article that really stuck with me.

It talked about how if you resist buying something in the store, you only have a say "NO" once, but if you bring it into your house, you have to say "NO" many times to avoid eating it.

I'm the same way once I start eating something...big package or little, no difference. I don't even remember actually putting it in my mouth, but when I look down...it's gone!

I like your C.R.A.P. & will borrow it as I work on meal planning and shopping. I've found Walmart grocery pickup to be a game changer for me. Using the online shopping cart as I look at recipes has been really helpful. When I don't have to walk the store aisles, I can avoid so many of the impulse buys.

2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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7/2/19 8:47 A

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Day 56: Head hunger

Hmmm....frustrated and depressed and might as well add impulse (taking because it is there). I am dealing with a combination of feelings and frustrations ALL THE TIME.


I like crunchy and chewy. I can mindlessly eat my way through a bag of chips, sleeve of Ritz crackers, package of cookies. I am better if it is keep out of the house. Problem is I live with two other human beings. One who is extremely demanding. I also have no "mind" for portion control.

A 4 pack of nutter butter or a family pack it does not matter if it is opened, I will eat until gone.

I am really trying to avoid all C.R.A.P. - I live way out in the country. Nothing is easily accessible. When I am emotionally strong and avoid buying and bringing it in the house then I do better with keeping on track.

Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 7/3/2019 (14:20)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


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7/1/19 7:05 P

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The Magic Notebook: It is worth another look. When I actually tried it, I did find it helpful, because I could write down the craving, and then shut the book, and it was like it was over. I could write it down, and then if I still wanted it a few days later on a "cheat day," I could have it. It also functions as a pause. Sitting down to WRITE in a notebook forces you to stop, and that might help you to stop the binge. Of course, everyone is different, and I'm not trying to push it on you... I just wanted to share that it has been beneficial for me, and I am one of those people who gets triggered hard just by seeing a TV commercial. In fact, I think I am going to apply this again and see if it helps... I've had several binges lately.

Speaking of binges, and a little off-topic... But has anyone else had the experience of an old binge just not "working" anymore? Like, most of us have go-to binge foods or meals... Have you had the experience that one of your usual binges just isn't "enough" anymore? This happened to me yesterday, and it honestly scared me a little bit. I have a particular fast-food binge order, and... it just keeps getting bigger...

Christi: What are your plans for when Jake leaves for college? Are you able to leave your husband alone for a couple hours at a time? Is there any other family that can give you a break, or are you able to hire someone? I'd love for you to be able to do something that was just for you, just for a couple hours every week...

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
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7/1/19 3:05 P

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Christi,
I **LOVE** the "Inhale Confidence, Exhale Doubt"! I've never seen that quote before & just printed it out to tape on my bathroom mirror.

I used to be such a confident kid & young person. I wish I had bottled some of it for this point in my life. My divorce from my 1st husband certainly did a number on my confidence & the weight gain that followed didn't do me any favors, either. So many things that were out of my control and I didn't recognize the things I COULD do to take better care of myself.

I'm hoping that it's never too late (at 58 yrs old) to learn and make changes in my life. I keep thinking that time will pass one way or another & it would be nice to feel better physically for the time I have left.

Hugs to you all!


2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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7/1/19 2:21 P

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I absolutely love reading each other's thoughts. Day 5 or day 58, I can see how everything relates to me. Just do it!! I am also totally a heart eatter!
emoticon I crave smooth and creamy. Peanut butter is also a problem for me. Mashed potatoes, ice cream etc.

Day 55: Food is the consolation prize
Eating to escape reality...

I was an overweight child with glasses that magnified ONE eye, who also had a speech impairment because of hearing problems. I don't think anyone would choose to have been me. Eating to escape reality was my reality!!! It never fixed me or made life easier. I can remember an aunt telling a story about when she babysit me as a young child and I keep asking for something and she couldn't understand what I was trying to say. I was frustrated and she was frustrated. Turns out I wanted cereal. She tried to feed me everything in her refrigerator and pantry before figuring out what I wanted. I was taught to solve problems through binging at a very young age. Temporary gratification with food has always compounded my problems.

I do still have emotional eating binges that is why I think it is important to explore the cognitive aspect of losing weight.

Emotional binges of the week have included chips (frustrated) and sherbet (heart). Neither binge solved anything in my life. My husband is still disabled, I still have anxiety.

Just say "No"! Pull up my big girl panties. Choose me. Food is not the answer.





Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 7/3/2019 (14:19)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

-Christi


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7/1/19 11:17 A

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Day # 5:
Day 5 Magic notebook
Create a special notebook or journal section for recording your favorite foods. When a
food thought crosses your mind, remind yourself that you don’t have to act on it. Instead,
write down the name or even a description of the food, and then anticipate the pleasure
of eating it sometime in the future.

Gotta admit, this day doesn't really work for me! Unfortunately, with my tendency to binge, it's better for me NOT to focus on foods that "cross my mind". While I get the thought behind it, I also need to be honest enough with myself. At this point, there are certain foods that I CAN'T eat and may very well not be able to eat in the future. When I struggle with the salt/grease cravings, the idea of giving those foods even a moment's time to camp out in my head just causes me trouble.

This reminds me of the last time I was doing Weight Watchers. There was a whole discussion at a meeting on "trigger foods", where people were talking about what foods triggered them to overeat. When I left the meeting, I wanted to shove all the junk food in my face!

I must be more "out of sight.,.out of mind" than a lot of people!

Feeling good about taking my time & tracking the "Days" as I can rather than falling behind (as I have in the past) and quitting the 100 Days all together.

Hope you are all doing well!


Edited by: CELTLADYMN at: 7/1/2019 (14:55)
2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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6/30/19 12:57 A

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Day 15: June 29, 2019
Describe the first two bites of a favorite food compared to the rest of the food.

I was skeptical, but the first two bites of a chocolate-chip pancake were the best. I did eat the part with the most chocolate chips first, so that could have been partly why. I wish I would have thought to try it out with pizza when I had it. I will next time I have pizza. I suppose that’s why having squares of dark chocolate are so satisfying. They are only about 2-3 bites.


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6/29/19 1:15 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 59: Heart Hunger "Insteads"

Similar to Day 57 when we made a list of "insteads" for frustrated "head" hunger, today we are making a list of insteads for hurt "heart" hunger. Heart hunger insteads should be focused on soothing and comforting.

-- Make a cup of tea.
-- Watch something cozy like a Christmas movie or a Hallmark movie.
-- Watch a tearjerker, if you need to cry!
-- Take a nap.
-- Lay down in bed and read. Light some candles and get cozy.
-- At home spa day. Take a shower, use good conditioner, shave your legs, do a sheet mask.
-- Go sit by the river and watch the water.

That's it for today! I don't want to spend too much time on the computer right now, but I wanted to pick up that momentum again. Hope you're all having a great Saturday!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
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Fitness Minutes: (360)
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6/27/19 12:21 P

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Day # 4

Day 4 Boundaries, not diets

When I think about this idea, it really hits me on my all-or-nothing patterns of the past. My classic reaction to anything outside the "narrow" road was to tell myself that I blew it & may as well restart next day/week/month! This kind of thinking has lead to years and years of yo-yo-ing weight, frustration and decreased self-esteem.

Finding the boundaries of "flexibility" which will allow me to establish life-long healthier behavior has been a struggle. I tend to set unrealistic expectations for myself and my eating/exercise. This has set me up for failure over and over again.

This time, my daily goals are to improve behavior and work on really LEARNING things about myself that will help me be successful, rather than just going through the motions of "diet".

Wider road focuses on improving:
--water consumption
--eating more REAL food and less processed foods
--watch sodium, since I tend to retain fluids
--move my body more often during the day, even if it doesn't mean structured exercise until I get some more of this weight off.

My goal (this time around) is to work on really thinking about these daily lessons, rather than just checking off each day & not really processing it.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to the rest of you, but it is helping me expand my tools for health.

2019 is my year to work on ME!

~Laura

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 339)
10/27: 351.6
11/03: 348.8
11/10: 347.6
11/17: 348.2
11/24: 346.6
12/01:
12/08:
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:
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6/25/19 5:38 P

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100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 58: Heart Hunger

Heart hunger is exactly what it sounds like. When your feelings are hurt in some way (feeling empty, depressed, sad, lonely, bored), you tend to seek out soft, smooth, creamy, or comforting foods. Spangle also mentions that when we want to eat, but we can't decide exactly what we want, it's most likely heart hunger we're dealing with.

I realized awhile ago that my problem with peanut butter is related to my grandmother. (Through a couple Whole30s, I learned that I have a problem digesting legumes, but peanut butter was extremely hard to give up.) My grandma loved peanut butter, and she'd slip a tablespoonful into a lot of her baking. There was peanut butter pie for Thanksgiving, chocolate oat no-bake cookies during the summer, a homemade Reese's cup style thing she only made once that I STILL remember, peanut butter on pancakes or French toast, peanut butter and jelly sammiches, and my favorite snack: peanut butter on graham crackers with a big glass of ice cold milk. Sigh. And I was often lonely as a child. So it's no surprise that peanut butter became my very favorite coping mechanism. When I get really depressed, it is still I want most in the world.

As an adult, the times that I feel like this are usually centered around loneliness. I need to do more to get myself out of the house, or at least stay active inside the home. Wallowing is not helpful!

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
MERMAIDLIFE's Photo MERMAIDLIFE Posts: 1,083
6/25/19 5:08 P

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I think "Do it Anyway" is a hard lesson for all of us, and it's one that is sooo easy to forget! I forget on pretty much a daily basis...

2019 End of Year Challenge! (Goal: 389)
10/27: 401
11/03: 397
11/10: 397
11/17: 396
11/24: 394
12/01: 399 (Post-Thanksgiving weigh-in!)
12/08: 394
12/15:
12/22:
12/29:


 current weight: 394.0 
450
434.75
419.5
404.25
389
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