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SQUINN2208's Photo SQUINN2208 SparkPoints: (1,628)
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3/15/16 3:41 P

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Aside from the health benefits of a plant based diet I am also vegan for the animals. My husband is a carnivore but very supportive. Our agreement is no animals or animal byproducts in the house but if we go out to eat he can order a meat dish. This has worked out for us. We have recently moved to the Caribbean and that came with a financial hit so we rarely go out to eat. The upside is that my husband has lost close to 35 pounds in 6 months and is feeling fantastic :) Also, when we do go out to eat, we choose places that have options for besides a salad or a plain baked potato. I am not going out to eat to pay $15 for a salad.

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JAXNLIL's Photo JAXNLIL SparkPoints: (14,799)
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12/29/15 11:23 A

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One thing that I have done for my husband is cook the meat in the slow cooker. I then make the rest of the meal things I can eat. He can have his meat ( leftovers too for the next day) and I don't feel like I am preparing two separate meals. I hear your plight it is a challenge.

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GILLYGALOO's Photo GILLYGALOO Posts: 1,168
8/21/15 1:53 P

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Sorry I didn't see this thread sooner! Like you, Nancy, I won't cook meat either and my hubby is a Carnivore. But I was too, when we got married. I'm trying to get him to go vegetarian, but it hasn't worked very well so far. I need to learn to cook better! emoticon

Gail - in Indiana


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LCERTUCHE's Photo LCERTUCHE SparkPoints: (39,319)
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7/31/15 8:58 P

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Well NANCYSGARDENS you can lead them to kale but you can't make them eat. Your husband ultimately decides for himself what to eat. Some people get very stubborn when they feel pressured. I know my husband use to be this way. Good luck and just try to be an example in deed and not words. I began by cooking separate meals but they would always end up eating half my food taking a bite or ten.

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NANCYSGARDENS's Photo NANCYSGARDENS Posts: 1,308
7/20/15 8:49 A

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I don't cook meat. My husband makes his I own and refuses to eat anything I cook. Of course, he has developed diabetes and high bloid pressure, which he refuses to admit I s because of hus diet, even though nearly all research connects the things he eats to diabetes and heart disease.

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LCERTUCHE's Photo LCERTUCHE SparkPoints: (39,319)
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7/13/15 8:38 P

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I use to try and make a meat course for the husband and kids but I felt so guilty for feeding them this. I finally told them (each separately) why I chose the vegan diet and told them that they can choose to eat meat if they want too but I wouldn't be cooking it. My husband decided to go ahead and eat what I make but when he goes to a restaurant he gets whatever he wants. I still encourage them to take bites of whatever I'm having when eating out (they end up eating half of it, LOL). The only one who really gripes is my 13 year old son but I really don't take him seriously when he complains but ate 5 bean burritos or 2 veggie burgers, or 3 veggie dogs.

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GRETCHENFINALLY's Photo GRETCHENFINALLY Posts: 79
7/13/15 7:16 P

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my husband believes its not truely a meal without meat but since he does the cooking and cleanup i cant really say anything. I am moving into a raw food lifestyle so hopefully this will work out!

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610PEACH's Photo 610PEACH SparkPoints: (7,377)
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5/7/15 9:23 P

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Consider cooking plant-based dishes like stir fries and pastas you can put meat into separately for him. You could also consider telling him he can cook his own meat. Just depends on how "hard core" you want to be with him. Good luck!

Hoping for health and happiness for us all ~Peach


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HEATHERLYN22's Photo HEATHERLYN22 Posts: 59
5/6/15 10:29 P

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I think the thing that bothers me most is that my significant other can eat whatever he wants when he is on a "diet" or new lifestyle kick and he cheats, but he still drops the pounds. It kills me. If I even eat a morsel of naughtiness my ability to lose is halted....meat or no meat.

"You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." Glinda, Wizard of Oz

"I'm not giving up, I'm just starting over!"

Heatherlyn


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5/5/15 11:14 P

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Hi Donna,
I too, have a die hard carnivore boyfriend. Although I can't stand it and it makes me question our relationship sometimes, I have one rule: I don't cook anything with eyes in it in my house. Since he mostly comes over here, it's not an issue. But, we have talked about moving in together and since he won't give up that lifestyle and says he WILL cook meat if we share a house together, I refuse to move in with him. Hardcore? You bet but that's how deeply I love animals and refuse to have their dead flesh cooked in my home.

Edited by: DJTPHN1 at: 5/5/2015 (23:15)
Debbye Jean

Too many people are thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, when they ought to just water the grass they are standing on.

– Amar Dave

The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.

– Heraclitus





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CCEMTGIRL's Photo CCEMTGIRL Posts: 19
4/25/15 3:14 A

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We are the same way too. I have my "veggie" version and he has his "meat" version.

Arriving at one goal is a starting point to another!


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BSCHWARTZ's Photo BSCHWARTZ Posts: 1,209
4/1/15 7:13 P

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happy to see this. ive been a vegetarian married to a carnivore for 22y.
ive worked it so that i usually have one hot vegetarian side like a soup using veggie broth and one cold side....vegetarian like a salad or veggie plate. my main has always been different
but i like lentils, beans ttofu and i always have extra veggie type burgers as emergency rations
in my freezer. i bbq steak, cook batches of chicken which I freeze into single portions for other meals. It is doable, yeah there are two different mains i never tasted his food. i asked about
flavour and adjusted.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius,power and magic in it. Begin it now!
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REAMOM Posts: 30
3/31/15 1:37 P

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Me...carnivore husband and kids. They all pretty much hate everything vegetable related. I'm only a month into being vegetarian and I will admit that I still taste for seasoning depending on what I am cooking for them. (Because if I'm going to cook it, I'd rather it taste right and not get thrown out, you know?) Eventually I will probably train my kids to be my 'tasters'. :D That said, I'm finding it fairly easy to cook both, as long as I plan my meal ahead to either have a pre-made salad of some type in the refrigerator, something that goes together easily, or something where I can pull out my part before adding meat (like a stir-fry).
There are a few veg dishes my husband will eat, like black bean and sweet potato burritos, or a good veggie lasagna.

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AUNA_VISTA's Photo AUNA_VISTA Posts: 3,857
3/24/15 8:54 P

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I'm not married, and I wouldn't consider marrying anyone that ate meat unless they were willing to cook it and clean up the dishes from it afterwards. I would consider it his hobby, his grotesque hobby. If he got sick and could no longer do all the prep-work, cooking and cleaning, then he can be a vegetarian while he's at home and just eat meat at restaurants and other people's houses. Eating meat should be HIS choice, eating it and all that goes with it. Okay, now I want a pre-nup!

"When people ask me what the most important thing is in life, I answer, 'Just Breathe.' "
_Yoko Ono
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SEWBLESSED5's Photo SEWBLESSED5 Posts: 79
2/24/15 1:17 P

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It is tough, but doable. We have been married 27 years and I have been a vegetarian for 30, so we knew what we were getting into. It used to bother me more handling and cooking meat, but not so much now. He grows a lot of stuff in the garden for me that he doesn't like. We have 5 children, all were brought up vegetarian and as they got older, in their teens, started eating meat, it was their choice and I am fine with it. We live on a farm and they have seen animals butchered so they know what is involved. Thirty years ago it was so tough to be vegetarian! It seemed everything had animal products in it, breads and crackers had lard in them, amazing to think of now.

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VEG_GIRL04's Photo VEG_GIRL04 Posts: 2,655
2/24/15 9:48 A

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My husband and I live easily side by side as vegetarian and carnivore. I'm usually the one who does the meal planning and shopping - so I make sure to have some meals that are all vegetarian and some that incorporate meat. He's completely open to that.

Most nights we cook side by side. I may have tempeh in my tacos and he may have ground beef in his. Or on a quick night of canned soup and sandwiches - we may do grilled cheese (mine with whole wheat bread and 2% cheese) and his soup with meat and white bread, butter and full fat American Cheese. One night he's got Chicken and I have Quorn's Chik' n in my Pad Thai.

When we go out to dinner we typically like to find a place that meets both our needs. Buffalo Wild Wings let's him get his greasy chicken wing fix in while I eat a mediteranean salad with hummus, feta and tons of veggies. When we go to expensive steak houses - I ask the chef for a personal meal - and they are usually wonderful.

I'm happy to be open to his lifestyle and he's happy to be open to mine. We live happily not judging one another.

"Number one, like yourself. Number two, you have to eat healthy. And number three, you've got to squeeze your buns. That's my formula."
-Richard Simmons

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VCZK2TJ71's Photo VCZK2TJ71 Posts: 1,296
2/24/15 9:23 A

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I guess my husband is in the minority of those described here. He loves meat, poultry, and pork. However, he is also more than willing to try vegetarian meals. We don't eat beef, poultry, and pork all week. We make many stir fries with veggies, beans, and brown rice. He is happy to try something new.
If he was really opposed to the vegetarian meals, he can cook his own dinner. We both have that agreement.

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THINKFLOWERS's Photo THINKFLOWERS Posts: 51
2/20/15 3:46 P

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I agree with MAUL7436, It takes time. My husband, who only lately has sworn off most meats. (still eats fish, cheese and milk products) He was impressed when he saw that his weight drop 5 pounds and some of his kidney numbers changed dramatically for the positive.

I like to try new cookbooks like anything from Chloe Coscarelli or Isa Chandra Moskowitz or a new one by Roberto Martin. It's called Vegan Cooking for Carnivores. These new chefs are tops in their field of vegan cooking and many of the meals I have prepared from their recipes had my husband saying that, "he couldn't believe that they had no meat" in them.

At first when I was trying to introduce vegan cooking to my husband, I ordered many books from Amazon. I found there were only a few recipes that we would like and actually use in our meal rotation weekly/ monthly. You don't have to buy these cookbooks to get an idea of whether they might work for you. You can usually get them at the library. If you like them, then you can purchase the book. We have nearly every book from the authors above and found them to be very helpful with vegan cooking.

After you get used to cooking in this new style, you will begin to whip up recipes of your own or veganize recipes that you might have made as favorites in the past.

Good luck and be patient.

Edited by: THINKFLOWERS at: 2/20/2015 (15:47)
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CHEEKS_OHMAI's Photo CHEEKS_OHMAI SparkPoints: (38)
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2/12/15 11:18 A

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My fiancé is a meat eater. Not to mention, junk and processed foods, candy and bad sweets. I love him so much, and i try my best to incorporate healthy foods, less junk in his meals, but it always seems when we go to the store, his first stop is on the candy isle. I can't fault him for it all though, when we first met.. I was the same way. It's only been in the last few months that I have done a complete overhaul of my eating, way of life. I get frustrated at times, and wonder... how this might affect our relationship, or ultimately end it, if he refuses to make some changes. It's hard enough with society constantly pushing junk in your face. I'm pretty much on my own, and exercising, walks and a healthy lifestyle, is something I want for us both.

Has a boyfriends/husbands/significant others refusal to make any changes, affected anyone else relationships?

MAUL7436's Photo MAUL7436 SparkPoints: (2,904)
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2/4/15 9:35 A

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My husband is a meat and potato man, I cook for both of us. My husband has supported me over the years with all my food allergies and he wants me to be healthy. that support meant no going out to dinner no fast food no proceed foods, this was a big life style change for him.
I never ate meat as a kid because it grossed me out, I did grow up on fish, later in life when they told me I had food allergies doctors did not consider a vegetarian or a vegan a choice so I learned to eat meat for the iron and protein. Years later I have become sensitive to all animal product, so I am a Vegetarian/Vegan and I feel hundred % better and I love animals and I feel inspired that I can be healthy without heating an animal :)
So if he is going to eat meet I buy free range and high quality, I don't push the way eat on him but over the years he eats smaller portions of the meat and more veggies and potato. I do feel that people need to find there way of eating that works for them. But I have to say we do talk about the treatment of animals and he has meat that he will never eat. So I do feel that I am rubbing off on him, it just takes time.

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AJ0708's Photo AJ0708 SparkPoints: (36,320)
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2/4/15 9:20 A

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I totally sympathize with your plight! My live-in boyfriend loves meat. At first it was very difficult! Here are my suggestions:

-The cookbook Vegan Cooking for Carnivores is really good. My boyfriend LOVES the southern fried "chicken." It takes a little effort to make but it's very yummy. There are probably other cookbooks like that too.

-I get complaints if I don't add a "protein" to most meals (beans don't count). I cannot convince my boyfriend that vegetables have all the protein we need. Gardein meat substitutes are great. Other hits are Gimme Lean "sausage," Morningstar Farms products, Boca crumbles, Nate's meatballs, and smart strips. Some carnivores are grossed out by tofu/tempeh, but they don't mind more familiar-seeming products.

-If you don't like so much processed food, like me, you can make a big batch of seitan at the beginning of the week and freeze in small batches.

-Ethnic foods and restaurants! Many Asian, middle eastern, and Mexican dishes are naturally meat-free!

-Breakfast for dinner. Omelets and frittatas are healthy and easy. Our favorite is tofurkey chorizo with monterey jack cheese.

-Even if a restaurant doesn't have any veggie dishes on the menu, you can generally ask them to adapt meat dishes. Even better, if you know you are going to a certain steak house, I actually call ahead and say that I'm coming at a certain time and would the chef prepare a vegetarian meal. I got the best pasta primavera ever one time when I did that!

-Don't go overboard! Unless your partner is very open minded, they may get freaked out if you try to substitute too many things all at once. For instance, if you are making veggie "meatballs," don't also use an alternative kind of pasta. Unless you're vegan, use actual dairy products when possible so he has something familiar on his plate. Later on you can try to use less dairy if you want.

-Don't cook meat! If you do most of the cooking, as I do, it's important not to cave in and cook meat because you will end up having to cook it all the time. Just tell him that if he wants meat, he's welcome to buy it and prepare it to add to your meal. He most likely will wind up just eating what you make because it is convenient.

-Keep a diary of all the meals you cook and put a star next to the ones he says he likes. This is helpful because you can detect themes, like if he loves all the Mexican dishes you make, you could buy a Mexican vegetarian cookbook.

Allie, New England

"Same song a million times in different ways, in different ways/ It's divine, it's asinine, it's depressing/ And it's almost entirely window dressing/ But it'll do"


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UUCEEJAY's Photo UUCEEJAY Posts: 1,688
2/4/15 7:39 A

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I also have a husband who eats a lot of meat. Most of the time it doesn't bother me because he cooks for himself, but I hate cleaning up the pans after he cooks. The smell of sausage and bacon bother me too. I have been trying to make some really tasty recipes and he has been enjoying some of them. He says he may try to eat more of what I eat. I really like the Engine 2 Diet recipes.

�The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.�
- Theodore Rubin


�Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.�
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GOTALOTAPETS's Photo GOTALOTAPETS Posts: 639
1/25/15 1:35 P

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I too have a carnivore husband. Its a struggle. I hate cooking meat. I would prefer it not even be in the house. But with my husbands hours I need to cook dinner for him. Then we fight because its not cooked properly as I don't taste it to see what it needs. I try to buy the most humane clean meat I can find for him but it still makes me ill.
He thinks humans are suppose to eat meat and my diet is lame.
we have been married for 20 years, I have been veg for 10 at least.
*sigh*

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SEAOFCARNAGE's Photo SEAOFCARNAGE SparkPoints: (87,476)
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1/17/15 12:53 P

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My partner absolutely will not give up sausage. He is after all from Germany. I have found a good compromise, I make the main dish without meat and then add in his sausage or my tempeh after the fact. I also have worked very hard to convince him that not buying it from a standard grocer but from a butcher is better. If I cannot completely eliminate it, the least I can do is go for a more sustainable way to get it. As far as restaurants I have found that many places will actually sauté up veggie to put over a baked potato for me, but this is not something I have happen at chain restaurants. Maybe instead of a steakhouse he would settle for a European or Mediterranean restaurant. There are far more options outside of American culture for vegetarian dishes. I am sure that you will get the occasional butter slipped into your dish, but sometimes that little compromise is worth the overall results.


"UNLESS, unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not" ~The LORAX

Be the change you wish to see in the World~ Gandhi www.seaofcarnage.wordpress.com


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BONIDALE's Photo BONIDALE SparkPoints: (0)
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1/10/15 12:27 P

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I had the same problem. I made a lot of meals that could be cooked both ways. Add veggie balls or kashi to my spagetti meal, meatballs or hamburger to his. Add tofu to mine, chicken to his, meatloaf for him, veggie loaf for me. At a steakhouse - I'd do what you do - eat off the salad bar. Most restaurants will accomodate your vegan diet if you phone ahead.

Boni
Co-Leader Vegan Fitness and Nutrition

"There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going." Anon
"Finishing is winning."
"Treat everone you meet as if they have a sign around their neck, "Make me feel important."


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KLAASSENVL's Photo KLAASSENVL SparkPoints: (148)
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1/10/15 12:02 P

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Yes, you can figure out ways to work around this. I wish I can help you, but I am not good at this myself. Good luck and wish you all the best. God bless.

Valerie Klaassen

Valerie Klaassen
K80DALY's Photo K80DALY Posts: 439
1/10/15 11:52 A

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I am married to a carnivore, as well. But I do the cooking, and I have no idea how to cook meat, so what I make is what's for dinner. If no one else in the house likes it, they can make their own food - and bonus! I have lunch for work the next day.

What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.


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CATERPILLAR54's Photo CATERPILLAR54 SparkPoints: (20,421)
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1/10/15 11:35 A

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Does anyone else out there have a die hard carnivore husband? I do, and its one of my many challenges while trying to eat a plant based diet! He will eat some of the things I eat, but is really resistant to most. The biggest challenge is going to eat out! He always wants to go to a steak house... I end up with a plate of the side order, and the garnish! And even then.. I am sure there is some butter snuck in there somewhere!!
I would really appreciate feedback from others experiencing this issue and how you deal with it!

Donna

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