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LUCYSUNFLOWER's Photo LUCYSUNFLOWER Posts: 9,829
2/19/11 1:20 P

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Just read Geneen's newsletter and read this:

"But when you eat with distractions, you neither pay attention nor take time nor prolong the pleasure of that which you say you love: food. And you set yourself up for just the kind of mindless eating you're trying to stop. When that food you love is gone and you look down at your empty plate, you feel cheated. You say, "Hey, wait a second! I didn't taste it! I want more!" And then, of course, you have more. And more." (News from Geneen Roth, Vol 4, Issue 2)

There is way more but what I suddenly realized is how totally distracted I am when I eat!! I tackle eating like something I have to cross off my To Do list!! And I think the reason for some of my evening grazing is because I never took the time to enjoy or even be aware of what I ate for dinner. If I don't have any sensory awareness or appreciation of my dinner then it makes sense I would continue to graze for that feeling - but still with equal parts of distraction continuing the problem!

I have so much yet to learn about myself...

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Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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LUCYSUNFLOWER's Photo LUCYSUNFLOWER Posts: 9,829
2/8/11 9:12 P

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Today I got home after six and a half straight hours at a client's office and I knew I was totally FAMISHED! I had only eaten a mini breakfast cookie and a protein bar while I was there, so I ate a whole Trader Joe's Reuben Pastrami wrap and THEN looked at the calories and fat... oops. Now I'm going to monitor how I really feel and see if there's any hunger left. I am not going to hang on to the details... :)

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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JULIAJEAN2's Photo JULIAJEAN2 Posts: 2,894
2/7/11 1:05 P

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I think I am in the rebound phase of my eating and eating and eating...

Whenever I start working with children who are having behavioral problems as a result of trauma, I always remind the parents that it gets worse before it gets better. I believe I have been going through the "worse" phase since I started reading this book. I set it aside for awhile because I felt so out of control and powerless to stop it. I gained back half of the 20 pound I had lost and physically feel worse.

I have decided to combine my readings of "Women, Food and God" along with Marci Shimoff's book "Love for No Reason: Seven steps to creating a life of unconditional love." The 7 steps center around the 7 chakra points of our body so cover all of our body's center, like heart, solar plexis, throat, etc.

I feel that I cannot truly heal myself from an eating problem unless I get to the core of my problem and that is not loving my self in an unconditional manner.

Just my thoughts on this...I sure wish I could figure out my own problems as I can for others. Oh, maybe I just did. Now the hard part is the work that goes along with it. One thing I like about Marci's book is that she gives you exercises (not physical) to help a person work through their issues. I just keep reminding myself that I am a work in progress...maybe I need to stamp it on my forehead.

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LUCYSUNFLOWER's Photo LUCYSUNFLOWER Posts: 9,829
2/7/11 11:59 A

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Julia, that does make sense. I've never smoked but in a way there seems to be some similarity in breaking habitual eating. There's some kind of emotional unrest inside and the mind or body wants something very badly. I have realized recently that it really IS thirst sometimes, and I'm trying to keep water always within reach.

And now suddenly I'm wondering if some of experience all different kinds of unnecessary eating behaviors - sometimes compulsive, somes addictive, sometimes habitual, and sometimes purely recreational! Maybe that's why it's so hard to pin down drivers and motives. Maybe Geneen uses the word compulsive to cover ALL the options...

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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JULIAJEAN2's Photo JULIAJEAN2 Posts: 2,894
2/6/11 4:55 P

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I have begun to notice about myself is that I tend to start eating when I become bored or even tired. Instead of resting when I am tired I feel the need to start eating. I have learned to try water first and listen to my body.

Sometimes it feels like it is too much of an effort not to eat. If that makes any sense. It seems that my body demands certain foods and when I refuse to eat, those physical demands get louder and more intense. When that happens, I find myself pacing and checking cupboards without even being fully aware of what I am doing.

My goal for this year is to remain present in the moment and not run on autopilot anymore which will lead to overeating.

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2/6/11 3:37 P

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I don't remember reading that, INNERBEWTY, and I would have disagreed in my case! I think I tend to overeat when I am trying to suppress the noise in my head from external drama. I seek out peace and quiet and even happy drama can wear me out. I have a hard time getting my head back to a peaceful quiet place after having fun. It's really hard for me to gear my brain down to match my body when I'm tired!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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2/4/11 11:09 P

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"when you eat when not hungry, something is occuring that needs your kindness and attention"


I realize I want to eat anytime too much emotional stuff is going on. But I wonder why it is I eat when I'm bored. Or I've even read posts on here where people eat when they are happy. Any thoughts anyone? I forget the exact words, but Geneen said something about a connection with drama and overeating. something to the words that those of us who overeat tend to admire drama... or something to that effect.

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LUCYSUNFLOWER's Photo LUCYSUNFLOWER Posts: 9,829
1/31/11 7:32 P

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Thanks for the link, Deb! Wow. That was interesting and encouraging to read. "we may need to rethink the whole concept of emotional eating, which may not be just about using eating to deal with uncomfortable feelings" - I have always said that I do not fit the typical pattern of emotional eating! I have tried to make it fit over the years and I can't. This sort of confirms for me that there is another level.

Yes, INNERBEWTY, I think habits can evolve into compulsions if we rely on them too heavily. I think I fit Geneen's description of compulsive eating (any eating that is not inspired by genuine hunger), but I am not convinced that "compulsive" is the right word for it. Sometimes it's mindless eating, sometimes it's emotional, and sometimes it really is compulsive.

I do fine during the day but right before bedtime I get the urge to graze. I feel big and puffy right now, and am sort of discouraged. However, I do know that if I clamp down on my eating and start 'dieting' I will fail. I know that there is some mental/emotional component to this that is key! I am going to try drinking more water to see if that makes a difference - just out of curiosity!



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Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/31/11 12:26 A

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Can habits become compulsive?

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1/29/11 11:08 P

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http://www.dailyspark.com/blog.asp?post=ca
n_people_really_be_addicted_to_food

Here is the link to the article that showed up in Spark People.

I am into chapter 7 of WF&G





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LUCYSUNFLOWER's Photo LUCYSUNFLOWER Posts: 9,829
1/28/11 8:10 P

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I think habit definitely applies! I do not wake up hungry and sometimes don't feel like I need food until just before noon! I don't get weak, tired, or fuzzy-headed without it like I would later in the day, so sometimes I just skip it. That's supposed to be bad so more often than not I eat breakfast because I am "supposed to" and not because I want it or my body feels like I need it. Maybe if I got up and went to a job and was there all day that would be different. I dunno. But I do think you're right - sometimes eating is just a habit or a clock-related reflex.

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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JULIAJEAN2's Photo JULIAJEAN2 Posts: 2,894
1/27/11 10:39 P

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I had a thought today about the difference between addiction and compulsion and that those two words still not be right. What about habit?

Last night I needed to start fasting for my blood work this morning. This morning when I got up I wasn't really hungry but was tempted to eat because research indicates it is best to eat a breakfast. So, I have been trying to train myself to eat a breakfast, even though I am not hungry then.

This morning it was starting to bother me that I couldn't eat my breakfast...but still I wasn't really hungry. After my blood test I finally got a bit to eat around 11:00 and it tasted really good and I was content with a sandwich.

How many times do we eat or graze out of habit or even boredom?

After I thought about this for awhile, I got to thinking that I don't remember what true hunger is. I don't remember the last time my stomach growled.

My chiropractor said he is doing adjustments on a minister who is on a 40 day fast. My god, I went for 3 days when I was hospitalized for diverticulitis and I thought I felt extremely deprived then. I could not even imagine going that long without food. I guess he does have water with lemon juice (fresh) with some organic and pure maple syrup to keep his blood sugars under control. But that is it.



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1/26/11 9:55 P

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IOWADEB, I saw a reference to that article but couldn't remember where I saw it! If you have the link will you post it?

The last couple of days I have been very busy and noticed a difference in my evening grazing. I am not sure if it's better because I was exceptionally busy all day or if it was just because I was tired with an increased sense of satisfaction in the day's work. I think it was because of the satisfaction with my accomplishments for the day - feeling satisfied without feeling churned up by chaos is not something I am used to feeling! LOL I liked it...!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/25/11 11:05 P

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re: diet plans and weight loss systems

Sometimes I think that there those only out to make a buck. last I heard was that weight loss was a multi billion dollar industry. Funny, because OA doesn't require any monetary compensation.

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1/25/11 10:14 P

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Did you women see the blog/article here at Spark about the new research that says food can be addictive OA knew what they were talking about before the research came out
I have to go to bed.
Adios





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JULIAJEAN2's Photo JULIAJEAN2 Posts: 2,894
1/25/11 9:30 P

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I agree with you, Leslie. When I get a craving it is almost like a whole biological life an death thing behind it. It is almost to the point of being painful. I don't have as many of these cravings since I started taking Metformin for my pre-diabetes state. I really believe once scientists and people stop seeing overweight people as lazy and weak individuals with no will power, they will start to make progress on the cravings and how to stop them.

Just saying "NO" didn't work when Nancy Regan suggested that as a way to stop drug addiction and it doesn't always work with individual's food cravings. There is something we are missing in understanding over-eating and binging.

I've lived through some pretty tough stuff, but give me a craving and I crumble like a cookie...there are days where I would give up secret information (not that I have any) just for a bite of chocolate. Thank god, I am not into drugs as well.

I knew this young woman who was hooked on meth and she actually gained weight because she smoked pot and got the munchies so she ate most of the time when she was not high on meth.

Don't know where I was going with all of that, but I just wanted to say that I agree with you Leslie. More REAL studies need to be conducted on food cravings and biological functioning. In the mean time we have each other for support. YEAH!!!!!!

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LUCYSUNFLOWER's Photo LUCYSUNFLOWER Posts: 9,829
1/25/11 8:21 P

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There really is way more to emotional eating than just distracting yourself when the urge to graze hits. I think most diet plans and weight loss symptoms stop too short of a real solution.

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/24/11 6:18 P

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Okay ladies, I am continuing to take notes on WF&G-- I am really liking the ideas of this book. Glad we can discuss it here. emoticon

Yes, I want to study it like a manual. But there is no test, for which I am very grateful.





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1/24/11 5:05 P

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Julia, back when my workplace was dysfunctional in a family kind of way they started calling me Lucy. Don't even remember why. My family doesn't do nicknames! Most of my friends call me Les, or believe it or not, the son of the friend who owns the pizza restaurant calls me L-Dawg! My exhusband called me Ellie, which evolved from my initials (L.E. - maiden name). Sometimes it was just El! I've used Lucysunflower as email names for many years - it just sort stuck with me even though it's not really tied to anyone I know now. Come to think of it, maybe the Lucy came from my exhusband...

Yes, it's always good to have nicknames that don't make you want to dive under furniture when you hear them bellowed out!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/24/11 12:05 A

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sunshine/sunflower... what are you talking about? I thought they were the same thing??!

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1/23/11 11:41 P

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LUCYSUNFLOWER, you remind me of a dear friend who's nick name is LucyLou. Some of your expressions and you ability to make me laugh reminds me of her and sometimes I have written Lucy in my reply to you. So just be prepared...if I refer to you as LucyLou it is only in terms of endearment.

Just curious, do you go by that nickname at home with your friends as well?

I have a nickname from years ago (at least 25 years) when I first started tending bar. My kids were all little and the people who stopped in the the small town bar where I worked watched over the years as my children grew up and went on to middle and high school, etc. Over the years the guys started calling me "SuperMom" because of raising my children alone and the likes. They also nicknamed me "Ol'Rhode Island Red" or just "Red" because my sister made a mistake in coloring my hair one time. She grabbed the wrong color (ash blond color) with my normal color and it came out carrot orange. She tried to fix it but we could not get rid of the bright red tones in my hair for a long time. After that I chose to remain a red-head, and the nick name stuck as well. Some of those old friends, even these years later, will yell out "Hi Super Mom" when ever they see me. Only one still calls me "Red."

It is kind of endearing to me and I am extremely grateful that my nick names are words that I'm not embarrassed to have yelled to me out in public.

Edited by: JULIAJEAN2 at: 1/23/2011 (23:45)
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1/23/11 6:19 P

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You both made me laugh!! That's a good thing...

IOWADEB, I answer to anything! LOL

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Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/23/11 4:40 P

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ooops.. meaning I posted a comment in the wrong thread. And this thing won't let you delete your post, the only option is to edit.

(lol) sorry for confusion!

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1/23/11 3:39 P

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I know, I called LucySunflower, Lucy Sunshine emoticon

Sunshine/Sunflower what is the difference LOL





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1/23/11 3:13 P

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oooops..

Edited by: INNERBEWTY at: 1/23/2011 (15:28)
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1/15/11 9:34 P

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I agree LucySunshine. Good luck this week.





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1/15/11 8:51 P

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I am getting impatient with myself and want to quit this free-range eating!! I think I'm gaining but I am NOT NOT NOT getting on a scale. Need to move to the next phase of growth before my jeans get too tight!!!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/14/11 10:27 P

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LUCYSUNFLOWER, it makes perfect sense. I am so happy for you, on gaining those insights. For me, it was step towards healing. Awesome!

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1/13/11 9:59 P

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YES, I understand what you talked about. I am into the 4th week with this book, (now taking notes) and I really like/identify with what she is talking about. emoticon I will feel the fear and do it anyway. Now for the application.... emoticon

Edited by: IOWADEB at: 1/13/2011 (22:00)




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1/11/11 11:42 P

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I think reading about restricting or permitting (can't remember Geneen's exact wording) really made an impression on me. I've punished myself by withholding food and actually telling myself that I didn't deserve to eat. Then I've also berated myself for those times when I wasn't "strong" enough to be able to withhold it.

I want to get away from all those mind games! If I log my food I want to do it because it is nutritional education. I am learning what food values look like, feel like, and taste like. I am learning what sustains me and, conversely, what compulsive eating looks like! I flinched at Geneen's definition of compulsive eating ("eating for any reason other than hunger" - OUCH!) but I have to admit there's some truth to it.

So now I guess I am not restricting. I am not eating to hit a particular caloric range - I want to find out what I need in food and nutrition to be healthy and maintain life (presumably that would also include weight loss!). I think my free-range eating is because I am learning something new and have no external boundaries... It's not pretty but it's pretty progressive!!! LMAO Okay, that just totally cracked me up!

I'm tired, but did any of that make sense??

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Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/10/11 8:50 P

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Yeah, way to go skip the weighing. emoticon emoticon emoticon





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1/10/11 8:37 P

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gaining weight (at first) is a normal response, says oprah. but I don't remember the reasoning behind that. could be because of revisiting uncomfortable feelings, etc.

i don't remember what happened when i first read her books. i don't remember whether i gained weight or not. i told myself to stop weighing on the scale after reading (lol)

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1/10/11 7:28 P

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I don't want to blame it on the book but......... Glad others have felt the urge to eat a wide variety of foods.
I have to ask myself what does my body want to eat? Tonight it will be hot tea and broccoli?
But sometimes its been "junk Food" I would rather not talk about.





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1/10/11 5:13 P

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I know what you mean Leslie. I am almost afraid to start the book again because I don't want to feel that out of control with my eating again.

I went out and bought some healthy snacks today because I get such cravings for sweets later in the day.

I picked up some "Fiber One 90 Calorie Chewy Bars." The are really pretty good. I like the oatmeal and chocolate, and the peanut butter and chocolate. I could easily eat two bars at a time. But, what I am trying to do is to have one bar then drink like 2 cups of water and wait to see if that stops my cravings.

I ran out yesterday so by last night I had two oranges which did not even put a dent in my cravings. I decided that I would save calories and eat a bowl of "Fiver One Frosted Shredded Wheat" with a banana for a bedtime snack if I need it. Well, I figure at least it is better than four cookies or a brownie or pie.

I am determined to do this yet. I guess we all are still a beautiful work in progress. Leslie, if you have any luck figuring this out, let me know and I'll do the same.

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1/10/11 2:38 P

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I am feeling like an eating machine!! I do NOT want to gain weight in the process of learning about my issues, so I need to get a handle on it quick. I am going to try to focus on feelings and my reasons for turning to food. I suspect it is because I get flooded with emotions and was never given a safe place to sort them out as a child. I don't know how to sort them out now. They flood in and confuse me! I also think that I use food to unconsciously magnify the good feelings... Still working on it!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/9/11 11:41 P

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I still haven't gotten very far into the book but I have been paying attention to cravings and when they happen. I have noticed several times now where I have gotten upset and the first thing I do is to start to head to the kitchen and frig.

I have been able to stop myself most of the time and check out my feelings. It never would have dawned on me to question myself before this. Like the rest of you, I sure appreciate the baby steps.

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1/5/11 7:23 P

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Ever since I read the book I have not focused on what I am eating but on why I am eating. I have been eating WAY too much since then, but in a strange way it feels like part of the growth process.

If I take the restrictions off, then I am left to use my own natural judgment (which is not necessarily bad!), and I can see now, without the external guidelines, that my body seems to want less food early in the day and likely all day. However, the eating-for-the-wrong-reasons kicks in at dinner time. That is when I can clearly see that I eat compulsively - as Geneen describes it.

Wow. And very interesting to me!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/2/11 11:28 P

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Great to hear about the workbook pages at Oprah's web site.





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1/2/11 6:30 P

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You are so right, INNERBEWTY, it IS confusing because of the flood of information out there. I think you have a gift for recapping and summarizing the noise in my head! LOL There is a great deal of un-doing to be done in order for me to learn to live better.

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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1/2/11 2:37 A

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Geneen talks about how everyone is different, what works for some may not work for another, or that what may work today may not work tomorrow. Like you, LUCYSUNFLOWER, I'm so glad I picked up and re-read her books. There's so much information and programs out there it gets confusing. Somehow her theories make all the sense in the world to me.

This is difficult work, she mentions how we are working *against* a lifetime of not being friends with ourselves. And to make something effortless requires effort. About how it's up to us to become our own heroine... and that no book, no teacher, etc. can do this for you. She mentions how we need to feed this part of us, so it will grow (like a tree needs care to grow). - When you eat at the refrigerator, G. Roth

I emoticon this team.

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1/1/11 7:04 P

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Discovered that on Oprah's website there is a section of workpages for Geneen's book. You have to be a member of Oprah's site (painless signup if you use a fake name!) and then you can print out pdf's of the workbook pages for each chapter.

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/31/10 5:14 P

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I am thinking about re-reading both of Geneen's books that I currently have. I just realized that I wanted to highlight and note sections all the way through both books, but I am so afraid that someone will come along and open the books and see what I've flagged and take advantage of my vulnerability!! Wow. I have no problem marking up my textbooks, but Geneen's books, which give words to some of my most scary places inside, are clean and like new!

I really think that dieting is not the solution for me, but finding and addressing the emotional issues that have me hiding underneath fat is critical. There's also a book by Marianne Williamson that I want to read too. I am SO curious about other peoples' perspectives that I could spend way too much money on books, but on the other hand, I really need to learn who I am and what needs to change in order to make me the healthiest Me I can be.

I guess learning that deprivation and control only made things worse is part of my process, but this all seems to get more complicated before it can get simpler! And I'm not sure I ever expect it to get easy...

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/24/10 4:07 P

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IOWADEB:

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12/23/10 10:15 P

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Glad you're reading too, IOWADEB. I had to adapt to her writing style a bit, but I really like how honest she is.

From "Appetites":

"I'd spent my life believing that if I showed my vulnerability, if I showed anyone they had the power to hurt me, I would be destroyed."

"But I still held a core belief that it was better to hide, that it was in fact, necessary to hide parts of myself. This belief was attached to an image of myself as a cowering child who learned that who she was, her barest truth, was wrong and shameful, and that revealing herself gave people more ammunition with which to hurt her."

That really sums up something I learned very, very well as a child. I can hide underneath weight and food.

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/23/10 5:11 P

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I went to the library yesterday and got this book. I read thru a lot of your postings, ladies and I want to read fast............. emoticon

I read some of her writing a long time ago, but I found her too "new age ee" (if that is even a word) This time, in the first 30 pages I am thinking --- OMG --- I like these Ideas When the student is ready the teacher appears?





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12/18/10 9:08 P

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Well, INNERBEWTY, I get it intellectually but not at a deeper level. I don't see the connection between food and love/possibility. I could go all analytical and reason my way there, but something's missing for me here!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/17/10 8:51 P

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...you have to be willing to go all the way. To understand that food is a stand in for love and possibility, and whatever you call true nature or God. Otherwise you will keep losing and gaining weight for the rest of your life.

-page 178

(I don't get it) emoticon

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12/17/10 7:07 P

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I think I just added all of her previous books to my Amazon wishlist! LOL

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/16/10 2:11 P

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emoticon

I choose peace instead of this.

In 2013, I am Claiming abundant health, abundant wealth, and abundant energy.


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12/16/10 1:40 P

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Thanks you guys. I have two weeks ahead of me away from classes so I suddenly am craving recreation and relaxation. I will probably stack up too many books to read but I'll save them for the next break in Spring!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/16/10 11:22 A

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I enjoy Feeding the Hungry Heart and When Food is Love....but they are honestly all pretty darn great! ENJOY!! emoticon

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In 2013, I am Claiming abundant health, abundant wealth, and abundant energy.


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12/16/10 12:52 A

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These are all older books:

Feeding the Hungry Heart
When you eat at the refrigerator, pull up a chair

there are a ton of books out there on the subject of overeating. I hope you find the ones that pique an interest, or find something you can truly relate to.

I also enjoyed, "taming of the chew" denise lamothe (old book)

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12/15/10 7:49 P

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INNERBEWTY, what other of Geneen's books would you recommend? I want to get a couple more.

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/13/10 12:39 A

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WOW, flashcards, wouldn't that be cool.

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12/12/10 11:48 P

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I busted out laughing at "lookin' fer love in all the wrong places" (that's with the country drawl)!! I have a lot to learn about my body's needs for food. Sometimes I just do not get hungry all day. I could skip meals and that's not supposed to be a good thing. Sometimes my blood sugar drops and I get shaky, and other times I get really chilled and cold but my face flushes. I have no clue what it all means, but food is not necessarily the answer. I think it might be type of food that changes my blood sugar response. More experimenting needed...

I think when I eat a quick meal my mind does not have a chance to process the meal. I would have wanted a Starbucks or something else after a quick breakfast too. Last night I nibbled on bits of everything never quite feeling finished. And I had no luck at figuring out what else was going on in my head or belly! I think I need gigantic flashcards...

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/11/10 9:50 P

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I guess it's when you eat when you are not hungry. Geneen refers to this as using food as a drug. Or if you are eating past full. She also talks about getting acquainted with the different levels of hunger; aligning our eating with relaxation. Or that food has become synonymous with love, or that we confuse spiritual hunger with physical hunger.

this morning I was running late, i grabbed a quick breakfast. I just finished eating. I was no longer hungry. But i wanted one of my favorite gourmet coffees (of 300 calories). I wasn't hungry anymore, but I wanted a coffee. And man was it tough to keep myself from heading over to the starbucks. But something was bothering me that morning. Without getting into details, I was really feeling extremely down and my mind was just full of sadness and god knows what. and I do tend to eat when I'm not feeling too happy. chances are I was hoping the starbucks would make the pain go away. I was looking for love in all the wrong places :)

Edited by: INNERBEWTY at: 12/11/2010 (21:53)
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12/11/10 3:21 P

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I feel chilled to the bone right now, and I'm also tired after a dog walk. I want to go stuff my face but after reading what you posted I realize that I just want to warm up from the inside! I'm going to go get in a hot shower and then re-evaluate my hunger.

I think I need to develop more understanding of how I feel when I'm cold, thirsty, tired, or genuinely hungry. I think yesterday I worked out so hard that I wasn't hungry after I ate, but I was still undernourished, if that makes sense. I really have no flippin' idea how much food I need!!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/10/10 6:08 P

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"awareness and compulsion cannot coexist, since the latter depends on the depends on the obliteration of the former. with the awareness to desire to stuff yourself without stuffing yourself, you've stepped out of the immersion in your past and begun arriving in the present"

this was one of the aha moments I had when I had read geneen's older books in the past. I was able to do this, but I was in a healthier environment, more positive circumstances. This is really difficult to do otherwise :(. But this was key to me, being able to recognize that i wanted to have one of those overeating episodes, but didn't act upon it. This was another good reminder.

and, thinking back to those episodes, my mind was in the past, the hurt and pain etc. I wasn't aware of my belly getting bigger or my body expanding, or the senses of my toes. I really was somewhere else, away from the present, the present that knew that all that food was deteriorating my health.

Edited by: INNERBEWTY at: 12/10/2010 (18:18)
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12/8/10 2:40 P

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I've read Martha Beck's book "Finding Your Own North Star" and I really like her style. I get her daily quotes via email.

I think we're all headed in the right direction - our paths vary slightly because different circumstances put us here, but we are all putting in the work to heal those parts of us that need healing. I definitely know I am NOT dieting. I am using the food tracker but just as an educational device. I want to track how I feel when I eat, how I feel after I eat, and what drives the urge to eat. One meal, one bite at a time...

emoticon

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/8/10 12:38 P

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As a small side note- I think therapy along with this work is essential- especially because soooo mnay things come up with our obsession with food- that we often need "healthy things" to replace them with...rather than other unhealthy habits or defenses. I know I discuss the book with my therapist and it makes a world of difference!I have someone who will ASK the other DEEPER TOUGHER questions and link them together wen my defenses rise up- or I just DO NOT WANT TOO (inner child)

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12/8/10 10:37 A

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Boy, I understand the sense of "emptiness." I am currently up to the early 60's (pages) in the book. It makes sense...I am also starting realize how I bolt from facing these issues. I have been over-eating a lot lately as this is bringing up old stuff for me.

I guess this is an appropriate time to be reading the book and like you said, LUCUSUNFLOWER, get to the bottom of this once and for all. I would love to have the money to go to one of her retreats. It is a help for me to have this place to discuss it, though.

Thanks INNERBEWTY for the quotes from the book...they seem to coincide with what I am needing to hear. Well, back to the book and becoming my own therapist. emoticon

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12/8/10 9:33 A

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I can identify- with the "I don't feel normal" either.

I am slowly understanding that it came about during various poibnts of trauma and poor modeling- there was a sense of emptiness- of filling myself---Geneen and other theorists like Martha Beck (combines CBT- cognitive behavioral with food changes) speak about making the innate change and shift in our thinking before we mindlessly eat.

Being in the moment is difficult but I hope we all can keep trying.... the madness is just our own illusion. We are PHENOMENAL FEROCIOUS FIERCE WOMEN! emoticon

I choose peace instead of this.

In 2013, I am Claiming abundant health, abundant wealth, and abundant energy.


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12/8/10 1:37 A

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RE: disconnect from our bodies

"the second reason that living a short distance from the body is maladaptive is that since the body is the only place in which to experience hunger and fullness, any attempts at ending compulsive eating are doomed to fail"

geneen talks about the way we escape our bodies, or that we want to learn to have different bodies and not occupy the ones we have now.

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12/8/10 12:01 A

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I've been turning to food to comfort myself for close to 20 years now. I still do it. So, logic told me that I was going to continue overeating (even after reading geneen's older books). that this process was going to take sometime. But that i would rather do it this way, and find a permanent solution. Thinking back, I didn't care how long it was going to take me to 'figure' all of this out. hitting almost 200 pounds, and yo yo ing forever, i wanted to get to the root of the problem, that was my primary goal.

Edited by: INNERBEWTY at: 12/8/2010 (00:02)
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12/7/10 11:09 P

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Julia, I'm with you! I was raised with SO many confusing, damaging mixed messages that sometimes I'm just tired and bored with trying to sort them out. I've tried to do Geneen's belly meditation but I think all I feel is gas... emoticon

I want to sort this all out and live healthier, but I am still overeating and still turn to food as a solution.

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/7/10 8:36 P

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I love those quotes INNERBEWTY...but sometimes I feel so damaged inside. Like I can never be normal, like other people.

I am starting hypnosis sessions on Thursday to help me get to the bottom of self-sabotaging. I know I am running to different types of help, but I am hoping that I can use all of this to quit running from myself and face myself once and for all.

Maybe that will help me de-compartmentalize my being. This is so confusing at the moment...

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12/5/10 2:56 P

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"You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won't understand this until you learn to stop banging your head against the wall..."

"If you wait to respect yourself until [you reach your desired weight], you will never respect yourself [because the message you are giving to yourself] is that you are damaged and cannot trust your own impulses, your essence.. etc. at any weight"

page 84

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12/5/10 12:58 P

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The beauty with meditation and Geneen's (and others perspectives) of eating mindful is the JOURNEY (DEEP SIGH) not the perfection or sole accomplishment of it.

I agree there is this weird idea I got somewhere (ummm maybe media) that it is all about WILLPOWER and crap if it was how lost and hopeless I'd be! I do think it is about accepting where we are now- loving our bodies as they are now- YET facilitating small lasting change gradually and accepting what we know to be true- balance and moderation in alllll things. emoticon

I can really relate in terms of Geneen's wisdom - because I've said it before to my therapists and nutritionists- that I feel like I have most of my goals and dreams HAPPENING like I am "successful" in others eyes- but in mine there is this HUGE THING (whether my thighs, or hips, etc-) MY WEIGHT and my lack of follow-through on that- and it never feels enough I KEEP NEEDING TO FILL IT! I am passionate so I say I LOVE FOOD I DON'T WANT TO LIVE A BLAND EXISTENCE...and I don't need too- but I need to find passion and zest in other areas of my existence and be mindful of my binges- cause that's what they are!

being a helper/healer/holding hope for others- I HAVE TO hold some for myself. Or I will keep unconsciously fragmenting my body and emotions and unconsciously die slowly.... no I won't let myself do this!

Anyway like Geneen says "It's not about the food, but it is about the food!"

That's my 8 cents emoticon

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In 2013, I am Claiming abundant health, abundant wealth, and abundant energy.


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12/5/10 12:14 P

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INNERBEWTY, I have been thinking about the disconnect between my emotions and my body. I think it's bigger than I think it is! I think my mind and my body are more connected - rational awareness of physical issues. But the impact of my emotions is going into my eating!! It's making me nuts.

I have tried her meditation but feel like I need a guided meditation in a headset or something. Or I might just be thinking like an overachiever again. I haven't done it exactly like she said, but last night while sitting in my recliner I tried to focus on my belly. It seemed to be very silent and comfortable to me, but then I got uncomfortable with the whole thing. I'm going to re-read that section and try it again today.

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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12/4/10 9:51 P

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geneen talks about this checking out of our bodies... she says 'we have bodies, we're not living in them', or that 'people want to learn how to have different bodies, not occupy the ones we have now'. she compares this to suicide... "the ultimate body removal technique.

Has anyone tried the 'belly meditation'? pg. 114, 115 I haven't done the meditation exactly as instructed, but I try to concentrate on that area. and it's odd how focusing on my belly makes me so uncomfortable. geneen talks about how the belly's location is the center of our body, and the center of our grounding.



Edited by: INNERBEWTY at: 12/4/2010 (21:51)
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12/3/10 9:06 P

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I think I have some of that same anxiety, Julia, but it shows more in its absence after I get groceries! I never thought about that until now.

Geneen talks about having enough and the belief that you have to grab it all now because there won't be more. That is one of my mom's core beliefs! She passed in on to me to some degree, so I am sure that is one of the reasons I overeat.

And like you I have NO clue what my body really needs or wants. I've quit logging all my food because I want to see what happens. A friend and I went out for Mexican food at lunch time, and while I ate too much, I didn't eat it all and left some on the plate. I also ordered smallish. We were talking at high speed and I was not aware of my body at all, but that wouldn't be unusual for me in those circumstances.

And now it's dinner time and I am debating food. Am I hungry? Should I eat a small dinner so I'm not hungry at bedtime? If I skip dinner is that bad for me? I know what's in there for leftovers and I know it's too heavy. At least my body is telling me that much!

I feel like I have so much to unlearn and relearn.

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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JULIAJEAN2's Photo JULIAJEAN2 Posts: 2,894
12/3/10 10:28 A

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thank you INNERBEWTY for posting that...got to love those little AH HA or reminder moments.

It brought up for me how out of touch I was with my body until I started college to become a massage therapist. It was so hard to learn to trust healthy and healing touch.

During the abuse I survived, I learned how to check out of my body and just sit in my mind. It took me forever to figure out how not to check out of my body if I was touched unexpectedly. I can see where I learned how to do that and it saved me from endless pain and suffering, but it had allowed me to start gaining weight and not caring.

I have no idea how much food my body needs, I know I have been "stuffing" food into it to keep me still. As I child I was punished by having to sit in my room. When I was married I was literally held prisoner in our apartment and was not allowed to leave without him or his mother. He had complete control over the foods we had in the house, the clothes I wore, but, somehow I managed to keep my "soul/spirit."

I just got a thought...I get all crazy and anxious if I do not have food in the freezer, refrigerator, cupboards or wherever. Even today I was feeling anxious about the snow storm that is moving into our area today. I am completely broke for the next two weeks so I cannot go out and buy the "staples" to help me feel safe. [That is really interesting to me.]

My adventure today will be to stay with my body, its anxiousness, and getting back in touch with the powerless young woman who remains frozen in my time.

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12/3/10 10:01 A

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[begin]
You will stop turning to food when you start understanding in your body, not just your mind, that there is something better than turning to food...
When you stop struggling, stop suffering, stop pushing, and pulling yourself around food and your body, when you stop manipulating and controlling... you learn to trust something more powerful than a set of rules that someone else made up: your own being
[end]
-page 81

I remember the many diets in the past and the horrible words I called myself (fat, loser, etc.). Before obesity became an epidemic, I was a point in my life where I knew if didn't change my eating habits. I could easily hit 300 pounds (and I am petit, that would probably mean death for me). I was lucky enough come across tools, such as geeneen's and other books on subjects of overeating. Something clicked. I came to a point where I surrendered. I didn't weigh myself, I stopped thinking about weight loss, my goal was letting things happen naturally, to not be obsessive about this thing we call weight loss. Somehow I shed 30 pounds that year. [BTW, I don't think this works for everyone, I was at a certain 'mindset' at the time. SP Coach dean says to think back to a time when we were successful at what we did, and do those things again. This was a reminder for me.


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12/2/10 8:05 P

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I agree :) There is a Geneen Roth Team about this book and discussion questions we do together and share if we like for ecah chapter...GREAT TEAM! We can of course also do that here!
I too struggle with NOT DIETING! I think I would just binge to death by 5pm DAILY! AKKK!

LET US TALK ON! emoticon

I choose peace instead of this.

In 2013, I am Claiming abundant health, abundant wealth, and abundant energy.


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12/2/10 9:05 A

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p.7 -8) I love how Geneen talks about our "hurtness" as "frozen places in ourselves--undigested pockets of pain--that need to be recognized and welcomed, so that we can contact that which has never been hurt or wounded or hungry."

I remember the first moment I can truly say I had developed an eating disorder. I was about 8 years old and mad and I was rummaging through the kitchen, mad because there was no junk food to consume. My mom just gave me her disgusted look (boy, she was really good at that look back then) and went back to her crossword puzzle. She was so "emotionally vacant" for me.

My god, if I were to see a child(my child, grandchild, any CHILD)acting that way today I would scoop him or her up in my arms and hold that child until the feelings of being unlovable went away.

I got back in touch with those feelings for myself when I learned (about 9 years ago) that I was love-able...to love and be loved. Words mean nothing in this sense of the word love-able; it is the sense you have in your whole being. I understand the spirituality aspect of it now because when we truly understand that we are love-able we connect with the "God-spark" or the "Divine" in ourselves. I guess it took me all of that time to even think that I deserved to "connect" with the "Divine Source."

It is so sad that any child could grow up believing he or she is not worthy of such a beautiful and divine gift. It hurts in my heart for my child self and for hurt children everywhere. I know this is the reason why I am working with children today. Every child has the RIGHT to grow up believing that he or she is loved and love-able.

Well, I can see this is going to be an interesting journey through this book. Are we prepared to do our own therapy sessions? Okay, am I prepared to do my own therapy sessions as I go back and subject myself to those past pains and heartaches? Yes, I believe I am ready to do this now.

Recently, I have been sifting through my beliefs abut life; who taught me what I know about the world and how I learned those beliefs. In other words, I have learned many powerful lessons in life, and most of the information I have is fantastic...however, my teachers were not gentle and kind and loving. So, separating the lessons (which are great) from the way I was taught (which sucked) becomes more of learning to appreciate "the teacher" of those lessons without judging the teacher.

An example of this came up when I was reading about your past work experience, LUCYSUNFLOWER. When I was going through a similar work related experience years ago I had an AH HA! experience. During one meeting with the jerk I was able to identify the five ways he was trying to control/manipulate me during that meeting. I was smiling emoticon so inside because my ex-husband had already taught me those lessons. (Believe me, through my marriage I learned all about power/control and abuse of those two.) This man could not control me because of the "lessons I had learned" about life and how to deal with abusive men. Does that make sense?

Okay, so if my ex taught me all of these wonderful skills, why should I hate him or judge him as evil or whatever. I can place him as that; he was merely a teacher for me at that time of my life. I can take the lessons I have learned and use them to help myself and others...to become a gentle and caring teacher for others (and myself).

emoticon Well, that's where I am so far. How about you guys?

Edited by: JULIAJEAN2 at: 12/2/2010 (09:08)
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12/1/10 11:50 P

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Julia, I never thought of myself as an emotional eater, but she refers to compulsive eating as consuming for any reason OTHER than hunger. Wow. I eat because the clock says I should, because I think my blood sugar will drop before I get near food, etc. And once in a while I eat for emotional reasons! Comfort, release, distraction, and ever so much more. Just not all the time.

Can't wait to hear what you say about the book!

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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JULIAJEAN2's Photo JULIAJEAN2 Posts: 2,894
11/30/10 6:43 P

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I am glad you started this topic. I know I could use some help with this as I am an emotional eater. Food became my comforter, my friend and my emotional substitute for real-life sense of being loved for myself. (Not sure that made sense).

Now I need to get in gear and start reading the book. Actually, I have started and I am into the first 10 pages. This will give me the push to get going with it and start the recovery from my emotional affair with food.

Thanks, I look forward to discussing this. Julia

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11/30/10 6:27 P

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I have finished reading the book now and am still a little boggled by how simple, and yet how complex, are the concepts and ideas she presented. What struck me was how little I have listened to my body even after Sparking for so long. I have learned a lot about nutrition and health. I know the value of exercise and physical activity. But I have NO idea how much food I really need to stay healthy and I have NO idea what my body is really wanting.

I think sometimes I eat for emotional reasons, but I also eat because the clock and my Spark food tracker says I should. INNERBEWTY referred to it as "instinctive eating" and that is essentially what Geneen Roth says is healthy eating - consuming what our bodies want because it is good for us. That seems so simple! And yet I think I have already eaten too much today!!

I'm hoping a discussion with you guys will help me learn faster (now that in itself is probably a problem! LOL) and increase my understanding...

emoticon

Leslie

"Normal is not something to aspire to - it's something to get away from." -- Jodie Foster

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." --Albert Einstein


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