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CJYOUCANDOIT's Photo CJYOUCANDOIT SparkPoints: (53,211)
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2/27/13 10:48 A

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Christine,
I hope and pray for you and your husband that things go well for you on this journey. It is not an easy journey but if you stick together you will be stronger for it. I know right now it may feel as if you have no control. That is a very scary thing to think something else is calling the shots. But there are things you can do. I am almost 5 years out from my surgery. Here are some ways to deal with what is happening.

Listen to what the doctors tell you.

Ask questions- I kept a running list of my husband's question and mine so we had them for the appointment.

Do your research. Find out what is going on out there and compare it to what you are being told.

Check in here to this team. There is a wealth of experience and information on this site.

Take it one step at a time. Don't project and worry about worst case scenarios. Stay in the moment and live each day as it comes to you as best you can.

Take advantage of your support people. If someone wants to do something for you and it is something that will help you in any way allow people to help. It is good for them, and good for you. It may take some of the burden of this journey from you.

My husband was great on my journey. He went to every appointment with me until I told him I could handle it myself.

You will work it out as you receive information and think about your needs and feelings. We are here to help you in any way we can. Keep us posted. You are in my prayers.

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Edited by: CJYOUCANDOIT at: 2/27/2013 (10:50)
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." -Socrates


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STANNER3's Photo STANNER3 Posts: 2,459
2/27/13 10:00 A

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It is so overwhelming in the beginning, but it sounds like you truly do have "your wits about you" as best you can, anyway! You are right, this is a really good place to find encouragement, and even a little information from others who have "been there/done that", and yes, we probably do have the T shirt......

I am a little over 5 years out, and have a very close friend who is just starting her chemotherapy today, she had Hodgkins Disease about 24 years ago, which put her at increased risk of breast cancer. But you're never truly ready for that phone call, that's for sure!!

And I agree with Paula, we signed up for life and all it's complications when we agreed to "for better, for worse, for sickness and in health"! My husband had a severe motorcycle accident 19 years ago and has been disabled since. But in some ways, it has been a blessing, not that I ever could have seen that part of it initially. So my diagnosis was another step forward, together. It sounds like your husband is very supportive, and that is so important!!

Just remember we are here for you, to vent, complain and even celebrate! Just take it a day at a time, and you can get through this!!

Big virtual hugs-

Suzanne

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Phil. 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill

"Victory is not found in the ease of our circumstances, nor in the strength of our own resources, but in the presence of the Lord, who is with us" Roy Lessin


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FLUFFYWONKENOBE Posts: 2,030
2/27/13 6:54 A

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Praying for you and your family as you go through this.

My husband was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin Lymphoma last February, and it has been a tough journey for both of us. So I can relate to what your husband is experiencing (btw - he DID sign up for this when he said, "for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health . . ."!!) - I know that even though we don't suffer the effects of the disease or of the treatments, watching the person you love more than any other person on earth suffer through all of it is a heavy, heavy burden.

So I will pray for you, but I will also pray for your husband, that God will strengthen him and walk with him through this.

God bless.

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NILLAPEPSI's Photo NILLAPEPSI SparkPoints: (127,372)
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2/27/13 4:17 A

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Christine, most of us on this team have walked in your shoes. Maybe not exactly the same journey you're about to embark upon, but pretty close. We're here when you need us. We'll be praying for you & cheering you on. It's a hard road, but you can do this.

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Keep smiling!!
Nillapepsi (Sheila) :-)

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. ~Nelson Mandela~


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JOYSGARDEN's Photo JOYSGARDEN SparkPoints: (34,758)
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2/27/13 2:56 A

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Christine, we have all walked the path you are now on. We are willing to mop up tears, offer a shoulder to cry on or lean on, we'll share our experiences and our hints and successess in this journey none of us wanted to go on. Some of us have had hard journeys, others, easier. We'll be here to listen when you want to vent and scream and holler. We've all done it.

It sounds like you are using your head, in getting your plans made ahead with your support teams. Just make sure you let people help you, and do for you. Everyone feels helpless when a loved one learns they have cancer of any type, but women tend to band together when it's breast cancer. It may be hard for you to have a friend or neighbor come in and do your laundry, or run the vacuum for you, or help in any way, but by you accepting their offers, you are letting them show they care, and their love. And if someone says "call me if you need me", it usually means they want to help, but don't know what to do. Call them. I don't know if you have children or not, but let people help you with them.

Be sure you eat healthy. You might not have much of an appetite part of the time, but try. You can't run a marathon, but walk around the house a couple times a day, and as you feel stronger, go outside and enjoy the sunshine.

I'm hoping and praying you have caught this early, and that you have an "easy" time of this. Please keep us posted on how you are doing, both physically and mentally. We care....
and if it helps to know, many of us are long time survivors. It's been 10 years for me, and there are "sisters" on here who have been survivors even longer than that....


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BARIDIRECTS SparkPoints: (2,132)
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2/27/13 12:01 A

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This morning, I found out what I think I've known deep in my heart for the last few days...I have breast cancer. I've been very fragile all day, with tears off and on. At one point, I apologized to my husband of 5 years, knowing that he surely did NOT sign up for this. His response, God bless him, was, "Honey, neither did you." He's right, of course. Frightening though this is, I am grateful that at least I now have a sense of the dragon I will be waging war against, thus ending the last 6 weeks enduring the fear of the unknown.

Now, I have to put my head together a bit, and start building the team that will help me walk this path of fire, both from the medical and emotional aspects. I have a consult with the surgeon on Monday morning, and we'll put together the plans for at least the short term. In the meantime, my family and friends will wrap that blanket of prayer and positive energy around me.

I'm glad I have you all to tap into - it will be a source of comfort and strength I will sorely need over the next weeks and months.

Thanks in advance-
Christine

Another Sweet Adeline, Harmonizing The World!


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