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PBUSHBY10 Posts: 6,542
1/10/17 12:43 P

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Listen to classical music and practice mindfullness

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SPARKL3SUSAN's Photo SPARKL3SUSAN Posts: 2,093
8/30/16 8:57 P

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The last section of the book, The Hoarder in You.


Appendix B

DR. ROBIN’S LOVE YOUR LIFE LIST

Staring at a heap of clutter, a pile of laundry that never seems to get folded and put away, or a room whose door you leave closed because you just can’t bear to be reminded of the mess you haven’t cleaned up can be incredibly discouraging and overwhelming. It’s easy to get bogged down in strategizing what to do with your stuff and untangling those thought distortions that keep you from living the kind of life you want.

While doing those things is necessary to clear your clutter, my Love Your Life List is designed to give you something exciting to look forward to as a reward for tackling the problem of the clutter in your life or as a mean of substituting one habit that may lead you down the wrong path (such as walking at the mall) with another (like cycling with a friend) that will support your long-term goals.

I’ve included blank spaces at the end of this list so that you can add in your own favorite activities. Be very specific and make sure your pleasurable activities are things you can do without a lot of planning or work, so they’ll be accessible to you when you need them. These are my top 51.

1. Go for a drive in the country
2. Listen to music
3. Spend time with family
4. Go for a walk outside
5. Paint, draw, or do other artwork
6. Play golf
7. Learn a new skill by reading a how-to book
8. Read a great novel
9. Sit own and write your own great novel
10. Write in your journal
11. Watch a movie
12. Go online and connect with friends
13. Go to your local bookstore for a free reading
14. Watch TV
15. Read the newspaper
16. Play cards
17. Complete a crossword puzzle
18. Have coffee with a friend
19. Go to the gym
20. Go for a run outside
21. Bake cookies
22. Open a great bottle of wine
23. Learn to knit or crochet
24. Play with your pet
25. Teach yourself how to make a new recipe
26. Go for a hike
27. Join your church choir
28. Go to the library
29. Make someone a homemade birthday card
30. Attend church
31. Play a musical instrument
32. Stop by a local school and offer to help out in the office or classroom
33. Play chess or checkers with your spouse
34. Donate time at a local soup kitchen
35. Go bowling
36. Plant a vegetable garden
37. Go dancing
38. Buy yourself flowers
39. Visit an elderly neighbor and offer to cut their oawn
40. Get a car wash
41. Meditate
42. Get a massage or back rub
43. Write a letter to an old friend
44. Go on a picnic or have a barbecue
45. Play basketball
46. Take your camera outside and shoot the world around you
47. Get a haircut
48. Go to a museum
49. Go fishing
50. Do yoga
51. Call a good friend

(blank lines)


"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

»Susan


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SPARKL3SUSAN's Photo SPARKL3SUSAN Posts: 2,093
8/30/16 9:13 A

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The Hoarder in You Appendix A

COMPULSIVE HOARDING SAVED ITEMS QUESTIONNAIRE

Note the items that you save, and the level of anxiety that you anticipate you would experience if you had to let them go.

Scale:
0=No Anxiety; 5=Moderate; 10=Potential Meltdown

PAPER PRODUCTS

Newspapers ___
Magazines ___
Books ___
Receipts ___
Schoolwork ___
Mail ___
Lists/Notes ___
Recycling ___
Pictures ___
Office supplies ___
Other paperwork ___


DIGITAL

E-mails ___
Files ___
Other ___


COLLECTIBLES

Stuffed animals ___
Dolls ___
Barbies ___
Model cars ___
Childhood items ___
Other ___


AUTOMOTIVE

Tools ___
Car parts ___
Cleaning products ___


ELECTRONIC

Appliances ___
Clocks ___
Radios/Stereos ___
Computers ___
Telephones ___
Fix-it parts ___
Other ___


HOUSEHOLD

Linens ___
Plastic food-storage containers ___
Pots/Pans ___
Food ___
Spices ___


HEALTH

Medications ___
Facial products ___
Hair products ___
Other ___

ANIMAL

Pets ___
Pet products ___


HOLIDAY ITEMS

Christmas ___
Easter ___
Fourth of July ___
Thanksgiving ___
Other ___


PERSONAL

Clothing ___
Shoes ___
Purses ___
Scarves ___
Other ___


CRAFT SUPPLIES

Beading ___
Scrapbooking ___
Bins ___
Stencils ___
Markers ___
OTHER: ____
OTHER: ____
OTHER: ____
OTHER: ____
OTHER: ____


© 2009 by Dr. Robin Zasio, PsyD, LCSW

Now take a few moments to review your answers here, and notice any patterns. Do you have particular issues with written material, for instance? Are most of the items you have a hard time getting rid of things you acquired when they were on sale, or at a particular store? Are the things that you plan to use for a project that you plan to get to at some future date? Knowing your triggers can give you important insight into why you’re saving what you save, and which distortions in thinking might be leading you to do so. See if you can make some connections here, and refer back to Chapter 6, 7, and 8 to find alternative ways of thinking about your things. All of that will make mindfully letting go of your clutter easier, and enable you to maintain a clean, uncluttered space into the future.


"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

»Susan


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SPARKL3SUSAN's Photo SPARKL3SUSAN Posts: 2,093
8/30/16 8:56 A

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[[from Chapter 9]]


WORK WITHIN A SYSTEM

Think of maintaining your environment as a policy: There are things I simply must do because living in a calm, chaos-free home is important to me. Creating a daily system for yourself saves you from having to agonize over your decisions again and again each day. Your policy might include things like: I will make it a point to sort through the mail before dinnertime; or, “If I haven’t read the newspaper by the time I’m ready for bed, it goes in the recycling bin. Having these kind of simple rules in place prevents you from backsliding into behaviors and bad habits that led you to clutter your home in the first place.

Here are 5 tips that will help keep your system on track.

1. Schedule time every week to complete at least one project around the house. Don’t let anything interfere with that appointment, just as you wouldn’t let anything interfere with a work appointment or a doctor’s appointment.

2. If you are married or live with other family members or even have roommates, consider including those people in your clutter cleanup. Even if it’s not their problem or clutter, you might be surprised how important your family feels when they are asked to help.

3. Be a host: Invite a friend to come over once a week for coffee or offer to host book club meetings at your house. Knowing that others will see your home on a regular basis is good motivation to stay on track.

4. Keep a journal that will allow you to track your progress and accomplishments. It is critical that you acknowledge the positive steps you’re taking, as it will reinforce your new system and keep you on track. Focusing on what you haven’t accomplished is likely to lead you to start cluttering again.

5. Make your reward automatic. In other words, don’t decide that a clean space is reward enough. If you’ve accomplished your goals for the week and stuck to your system, maybe the family gets to enjoy Friday pizza night in your comfortable den, or you all get together and cook dinner in your clean, organized kitchen. Remind yourself of why it’s so enjoyable to have a clutter-free home.


"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

»Susan


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SPARKL3SUSAN's Photo SPARKL3SUSAN Posts: 2,093
8/30/16 8:55 A

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(from The Hoarder in You, Chapter 8)

CLUTTER AND PETS

…If you have a pet or are considering getting one, evaluate the impact on your environment before you commit.

• Pet hair can be time consuming and difficult to clean up. If you do have a shedding pet, investing in a vacuum that is designed for pet hair can help keep it under control.

• Litter boxes require daily maintenance. I recommend linking the act of cleaning it out to something else you do every day without fail, like taking out the garbage. Do it before or after, which will help to reduce the accumulation.

• Pet food and accessories add clutter to a home. Just like any other family member, your pet should have a place for his things: a hook for his leashes, a bin for his toys, and airtight containers stored in a designated place for his food.

• Properly caring for your pets and maintaining the environment they (and you) live in requires a substantial time commitment. If you already have a difficult time maintaining order in your home, this is an important consideration.


"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

»Susan


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SPARKL3SUSAN's Photo SPARKL3SUSAN Posts: 2,093
8/20/16 11:20 A

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ESSENTIAL DOCUMENTS (from The Hoarder in You)

Not sure which documents you need to keep--and for how long? The following guidelines by Dorothy will put your mind at ease about what documents to hold on to and which you can safely get rid of.

1. Official government documents, such as birth or death certificates, divorce and custody agreements, military discharge papers, adoption records, passports, and social security cards: Always keep, and consider storing in a safe-deposit box.

2. Pension plan information from current and former employers: Keep these indefinitely.

3. School transcripts, diplomas, and report cards: Keep transcripts only if you might seek further education, and keep diplomas indefinitely (although any school you attended should have a record of your graduating). Report cards from childhood are considered memorabilia, and there's no practical reason to keep them.

4. Health records: Keep records of children's immunizations and any hospital records indefinitely.

5. Estate materials: Keep wills and trusts indefinitely. Keep a copy and put the original in a safe-deposit box.

6. Tax returns and receipts: Retain for 6 years. The IRS can audit you up to the past 3 years, 6 if they suspect a large reporting discrepancy.

7. Property records, such as mortgage applications, deeds, loan agreements, etc.: As long as you own the property; save proof of loan payoff indefinitely.

8. Home improvement records and major appliance purchases: Keep all receipts and proof of costs, as well as contracts, as long as you own the property or as long as you still have the appliance, plus 6 years if you wrote off any of the improvements on your taxes.

9. All other receipts from purchases: If you're not sure you're keeping the item, clip the receipt to the item immediately so it doesn't get lost. If you need the receipt for your taxes, put it in a current year tax folder; if it's for an appliance under warranty, keep it with the warranty. Otherwise, it can go.

10. Warranties, guarantees, and manuals: Keep as long as you own the item. You can toss manuals for appliances you know how to use.

11. Car or homeowner insurance: Four years after the policy expires or until you get a new one in the mail.

12. Bank statements and credit card records: Only as long as there might be a tax issue (if you need a canceled check to prove a tax write-off, for instance, keep that for 6 years). Keep CDs until they mature. If a bank statement does not contain anything you'll need for your taxes, you can shred it immediately.

13. Bank receipts and deposit slips: Shred after you reconcile your monthly statement.

14. Investment and retirement account statements: Many of these are cumulative, so your year-to-date is reflected on the most recent statement. Unless you want to be able to track the activity of your account, there's no need to keep more than that, especially since you can get records from the investment firm. Keep annual summaries, although even those can be retrieved electronically.

15. Pay stubs: Keep in a folder until you get your W2 or 1099 form from the IRS and can reconcile them.

16. Paid bills: As soon as a bill has been paid, consider shredding it. The only exceptions to this rule are if you need the bill as evidence of a charitable contribution or for some other tax purpose (in this case, save it in your tax folder), or if you used a credit card for a purchase that's under warranty.

17. Medical exam results: Consider saving these if there was an abnormality. Remember, your doctor will have the records, as well.

"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

»Susan


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SPARKL3SUSAN's Photo SPARKL3SUSAN Posts: 2,093
8/16/16 9:09 A

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(Whoops! I just typed out the 5 Ways to Beat Clutter, and I just saw that you had already posted it. I thought it looked familiar!!! And there's no way to delete posts.)

Edited by: SPARKL3SUSAN at: 8/16/2016 (09:11)
"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

»Susan


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SPARKL3SUSAN's Photo SPARKL3SUSAN Posts: 2,093
7/28/16 5:30 P

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I really like that last suggestion. I will often tell myself, "I'll do that (declutter or clean) on Friday." But Friday rolls around and I find something else more fun to do (which includes just about everything -- everything is more fun than decluttering or cleaning!). It's always a vague idea about what I'll do when. I need to put a chore on my daily calendar, the one where I put all my appointments on. Maybe then I'll take it more seriously.

"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

»Susan


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IMLOCOLINDA's Photo IMLOCOLINDA Posts: 33,750
7/28/16 9:46 A

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THE FIVE WAYS TO BEAT CLUTTER
Here are personal organizer Dorothy Breininger's top five ways to limit the stuff pileup.

1. CAP IT BY NUMBER. There's nothing wrong with saving multiples of items you're going to use (such as supermarket bags or rubber bands removed from your daily newspaper). But you don't need an endless supply of these items cluttering up your drawers and cabinets. Set a limit for how many of these items you'll keep on hand at any given time (15 is a good one in this case). Anything over that number should be tossed or recycled.

2. CAP IT BY HEIGHT. If you keep books and magazines on your coffee table, for instance, limit your reading material by height, such as 5 inches' worth. Anything more than that needs to be shelved or recycled.

3. CAP IT BY TIME. If you haven't read your Monday newspaper by Thursday, you're probably not going to - and it should be recycled. Create a limit for how long you'll let periodicals sit around your home. If there's a special issue of a particular publication that you want to save, file it away or keep it on your bookshelf.

4. CAP IT BY BIN SIZE. This is a great trick for storing special but ultimately disposable items, such as your kids' artwork. Place the items in a small bin, perhaps one a foot deep. Once it is filled, you must go through it and toss all but one or two favorite items. This gives you a time-limited guideline and allows you to keep what you want to keep without being overwhelmed by clutter.

5. MARK YOUR PURGE DAYS ON YOUR CALENDAR. Make sure you go through each room in the house at least once a week and address any clutter you didn't have a chance to attend to in the moment, and ensure that all of your organizational systems are functioning as they should. You'll be far more likely to keep up with your clutter if you set aside time to address it. Don't try to do the whole house in a day though. You will get overwhelmed and likely not complete the task.

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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IMLOCOLINDA's Photo IMLOCOLINDA Posts: 33,750
7/13/16 3:24 P

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THE BIGGEST ORGANIZING MISTAKES (AND HOW TO AVOID THEM)
Personal organizer Dorothy Breininger says the following issues are traps for many of her clients.

1. Over-organizing. Putting too many layers on things (a finance hanging folder with subcategories for each type of investment account, sub-organized by year, for example) in an ambitious attempt to be perfectly organized can backfire because it's hard to maintain. Keep it simple.

2. Kidding yourself. If you're the type of person who drapes clothing over chairs, it's doubtful that you're going to maintain an elaborate system in your closet with sections for different seasons and fancy space-saving hangers you'll need to wrestle with. Better to put 10 hooks in your closet and hang things on them - your clothes will be off the floor and off the chairs, and it'll be a system you can maintain.

3. Expecting your system to run itself. You can have a great system set up, but if you fail to maintain it, it's not going to help you. Let's say you have folders on your desk with bills to be opened and paid, coupons to be clipped, and business receipts. The plan was that once you paid the bills, you'd file the bills that were business expenses in with the business receipts, and clip the coupons weekly so you'd have the ones you needed in your wallet. If you simply drop them in the files and don't make a point of going through them each week, they may look tidier, but you still won't have what you need when you need it, which is, of course, part of why you went through the trouble to set up the system.

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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IMLOCOLINDA's Photo IMLOCOLINDA Posts: 33,750
7/13/16 2:34 A

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'WHAT KIND OF ORGANIZER ARE YOU?"
Everyone has a different method for organizing their things. How do you know which system will work best for you? Here is personal organizer Dorothy Breininger's strategy for determining what kind of organizer you are.

1. Locate your junk drawer. Most people have one - that drawer in the kitchen with the random batteries and foreign coins in it, or maybe it's your bedside table or a drawer in your desk.

2. Pull it out and dump the contents on the floor.

3. Do not think about how you sort it. Instead, allow yourself to sort it in a way that naturally makes sense to you.

4. Notice how you've sorted things. Did you put the cold medicine, aspirin, and toiletries together; the napkins and plastic forks together; the paper clips and highlighters together? Then you're someone who organizes like with like. Or maybe you put the paperclips, aspirin and tacks together in one pile of small things and grouped larger item like scissors and staplers in another pile because organizing by size makes the most sense to you. Or you might organize by shape or color or frequency of use. That's fine - as long as it makes sense to you, and you know where to find things.

Knowing what kind of organizer you are will enable you to set up a system that works for you. For instance, if you're the kind of organizer who needs to see things to know you have them, then shelves, (as opposed to drawers) and clear plastic bins are your friends. Stack files in a horizontal inbox or use those graduated file stands, rather than a closed file system in a drawer. If you're more color oriented, putting away kids' toys according to color (red trucks, blocks and balls go together) will make sense to you. You might also want to hang your clothes according to their shades, rather than by category like 'dresses' or 'tops'."

****There is also lots more information that will start on page 163 "to guide the way you declutter your home" and I'll put that in when we get there if it seems like it will add more. You won't need it from me if you've bought or borrowed the book!!

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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IMLOCOLINDA's Photo IMLOCOLINDA Posts: 33,750
7/12/16 6:20 P

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All the Quizzes and Questionnaires come from "The Hoarder in You" book. It helped me to print off a couple things to be able to refer to as I'm going through. Especially helpful is 'does it have a home' and would I give up something else to keep it!

Good for you having so much of yours organized!! I am just amazed I let mine get this bad.

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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IMEMINE1's Photo IMEMINE1 Posts: 8,708
7/12/16 1:13 P

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Thank you for posting all these helpful ideas.
Ion the first one I got 7 yeses 4 nos.
On does your clutter cause conflict
5 yeses 2 nos.
My clutter is books,magazines and papers. My house is straightened and clean there are just areas in my life that I know I have to get rid of stuff. We have a small house.
I did get rid of some pictures but I got a box and the photo albums but never got around to doing the rest. emoticon
But I am going to stick with it and get it all done by the time I have to go back to work.
emoticon I hope!
I like the OHIO rule. emoticon

Edited by: IMEMINE1 at: 7/12/2016 (13:14)
Donna
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IMLOCOLINDA's Photo IMLOCOLINDA Posts: 33,750
7/10/16 2:29 A

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THE OHIO RULE
The OHIO Rule developed by Randy O. Frost, PhD, at Smith College, and his colleagues means: ONLY HANDLE ITEMS ONCE. If you pick up an object, it must go where it belongs, into one of your boxes or into the trash. Don't put it down to decide later. The decision will not get easier by delaying it.
~If it's broken, it goes.
~If it smells, it goes.
~If it's contaminated with bugs, mold or animal droppings, it goes.
~Ask yourself if you have a use for it at a specific point in the future? If not, it goes!
~Are you giving it to someone on a set date in the future? If not, it goes.
~Does it have a home? If not, then it either goes, or something else does to give it a home.

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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SPARKL3SUSAN's Photo SPARKL3SUSAN Posts: 2,093
7/10/16 12:32 A

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Fantastic job, Linda!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon You kept to your plan, kept the Greater Good in mind, and saved a bunch of money to boot!! Excellent!!!

"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

»Susan


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IMLOCOLINDA's Photo IMLOCOLINDA Posts: 33,750
7/9/16 12:50 A

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I totally agree! That's why using "Greater Good" works well when I'm feeling anxious. I had such a good day today. Had to get up early and take my mom and her friend down to the airport to catch their plane for Seattle so they could get on their cruise ship Saturday morning. I had to go to Barnes&Noble and pick up my copy of "The Hoarder in You". I spent over an hour looking through the books, especially the clearance tables and some great gifty items and thinking I should get some stuff for Christmas since it was on sale and all that. But you know what I bought???????????? "The Hoarder in You". That's all!! I had money in my pocket and an idea in my head but I resisted the temptation.
emoticon
We only have WalMart and a local IGA grocery store so I stopped in at the big Smith's Food King to see how much they wanted for fresh fennel. It wasn't marked so I had to ask the produce mgr to find out the price. I love Smith's. They have a great natural/health food section and good prices on vitamins and always lots of things on sale. The fennel was organic so it was $4.29. I figured I could do better across town on my way out of town since Albertson's had it for $2.99 about 3 weeks ago when I bought it while I was down there taking my mom to get her pacemaker installed. So I went through lots and lots of aisles and even thought about getting some star gazer lilies for one of my mom's friends and making her a nice bouquet. Guess what I bought??????? NOTHING!!!

I didn't stop at Big Lots, the Dollar General, Ross, Target (and I wanted to go to Target for this essential oil that they didn't have at Smith's) or any of those other stores but headed right to TJMaxx to return a suitcase I had bought for my mom. It was too big and she didn't want it and I don't need another one. So I returned it. I looked at lots of stuff. I bought some essential oils I was looking for in the health food section of Smith's and they were much cheaper at TJ's. I bought some University of Montana socks to use as Christmas presents because they were the perfect gift for 6 people on my list and I figured they would sell out fast. I didn't buy any cups, dishes, kitchenware, linens, clothes or shoes. Oh, I did buy a big plastic planter/container. It was on clearance for $10 so I was kind of into the 'sales price' but also had been unable to find one in this size and have a plant that really needs to go into it! I saw some really good deals on shoes but I have not even taken the 6-10 pair, seriously, I don't know how many I bought?? out of the trunk of my car so I could NOT get more shoes, no matter how cute or cheap. I broke one of the two salad bowls at my mom's a couple of weeks ago so was looking at those. Thought, "Oh, get a grip! There are plenty of other bowls and I have beautiful brand-new salad plates at my house that I have only washed and put away and never used." "Big picture/Greater Good".
emoticon
It was nearing 3:00 and I still hadn't eaten so I thought I'd stop by and see one of my oldest, dearest friends and see if he wanted me to pick up Chinese or something and bring it over. I don't have a cell phone so couldn't just call. He is handicapped and only in a wheelchair now so going out or having him meet me was not an option. When I pulled into the parking lot at his building he was out sunning himself. Said he had eaten lunch so didn't want food but really wanted to visit. So I went up to his apartment and we talked until 5:30. I still had a 2 hour drive on a 2-lane road on Friday night with all the campers/boaters and big trucks moving harvest equipment. But it was worth it visiting him. Decided to treat myself to Chinese at my favorite place but only order 1 entree. I usually get 4 and then eat the leftovers for a couple of daze. They were closed for remodeling!
emoticon Dodged a bullet and saved myself even more $$$! emoticon
So I went to Albertson's and got my fennel and it was only $1.99!! emoticon
I cruised the aisles to see if there was any other produce I couldn't live without. I also like their variety and selection and prices. But the only thing I got was 4 big cans of dog food, 1 big bag of doggie bones for GeeGee, and 3 little bags of doggie bones for Gus and Grace! That's it!!! No produce to spoil in the frig, no spices I probably already have. I had decided a couple of weeks ago that I couldn't buy any more grocery items until I had gone through all the cupboards and thrown out the dated stuff and stuff I was never going to use. So I kept my promise to myself about that. A couple things I actually had to put back on the shelf but I did not bring them home! I skipped my favorite bakery, favorite pizza place and got a salad and a couple of chicken legs at the deli and headed for home!!

I was so proud of myself. I can't even begin to tell you how good it felt to not just buy stuff because I was there, it was cute, I had the money, I liked it, I wanted it but I resisted! I was reading in "It's All Too Much" last night in the part where he talks about setting the date and getting busy. He said to make a date, plan to eat pizza for dinner and take out so you don't have to stop to fix a meal. I thought that was great advice...but I was thinking that since my mom is gone I could invite over a couple of my friends and fix them a nice dinner and serve it at her house. NO!!~ I need to stay on task and get a bunch of things moved out of the garage and rearrange the rooms and furniture and take a ton of stuff to the garbage and have the Salvation Army pick up a load of furniture and take several bags of stuff to the giveaway house. I was going to pack them in the car and take them down next Saturday when I go pick up my mom but decided to just donate them locally instead.

I am feeling really good about this upcoming week and how much I can accomplish. I am not thinking it is going to be easy AT ALL. I know it will be stressful and I will have to resist the temptation to sleep late or read. When I got home there was a message and the neighbors want me to take care of their cat on Sat&Sun while they take their kids across the state to spend a week or so with the grandparents. I told them no problem. I was taking care of the house and cat over the 4th of July weekend and a huge grass fire started on the property by some idiots with fireworks so I spent most of the night of the 4th of July checking to make sure it was out and did not restart!! Last year hail, this year fire, maybe next year earthquake??

They are hoarders too. When I told Darren that my plan was to be home all week except for my Tuesday afternoon shift at the senior center (and I turned down 4 extra 4 hour shifts even though they begged!!) and having to report for Jury Duty on Thursday morning. He said that was also part of their plan while the kids were gone...to declutter. To resist the outside chores and just get busy inside. I should loan them the books???

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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7/8/16 12:03 A

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I like those Rules for Clutterers, but it would be difficult (but not impossible!) to implement them.

I think it all boils down to being super mindful about everything that comes into your home. I think that hoarding is a response to anxiety, and it's so hard to think when you're feeling anxious.

"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

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7/7/16 6:05 P

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DR. ROBIN'S RULES FOR CLUTTERERS
Rule #1: One in, one out. If you buy a pair of shoes, you must have a pair in mind that you are going to discard or donate to prevent closet overflow.

Rule #2: No homeless items. If you're considering bringing something into your home, you must be able to identify where it will live or what it will replace. "In the hall until I find a place for it' is not an answer you should accept from yourself.

Rule #3: Be able to identify how and when you are going to use the item. In addition to a home, the item needs a plan. 'Oh cool, a tub of modeling clay on sale-what a good deal!' isn't a reason to bring it home. 'Next weekend mt nieces are coming over and they'll enjoy making things out of clay' is a good reason. Note that there is both a date and a specific project in mind for the item.

Rule #4: Do things in the moment. If you purchase a new sweater and you know you need to get rid of one, pick that sweater in the moment as you put the new one in the closet. If you put it off, you're unlikely to ever get around to choosing one to get rid of.

Rule #5: No duplicates. If you already have an item, buying another one just like it is not a good ides, even if it is a good deal. The exception is if you have storage area devoted to such items, like cleaning products in the basement. However, there must still be a clear plan about when or how you are going to use it.

Rule #6: If it needs to be fixed in some way, it doesn't come in. Far more often than not, you won't get around to repairing it. If you're trying to cut back on clutter, nothing broken or in need of refurbishing should cross your threshold.

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/27/16 12:11 A

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IS IT A WASTE??
There are many ways to be wasteful, and sometimes the most obvious way - to throw something away that still has use - is actually less wasteful than the alternatives. If you're debating whether or not parting with the specific object would be wasteful, read through the criteria below.

It is a waste if . . .
*The item sits around your house unused. (A free thing sitting unused is a waste, even though you didn't spend money on it.)
*It takes up valuable space that could be used for something else.
*You devote more than a brief period of time to considering what you will do with it, which is a waste of your time.
*It overwhelms you to see it sitting there, which is a waste of mental energy.
*When you look at the item, you're reminded that you've avoided doing what you meant to do with it - more mental energy wasted and you wind up feeling bad.
*You buy more than you need in order to get bonus of something you don't need - you waste money buying an item that will ultimately be wasted.

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/20/16 6:57 P

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ARE YOU SENTIMENTAL OR STUCK?
Someone who is sentimental is strongly motivated to act by emotion and may hold on to things because of how she feels about them, rather than for practical reasons. There's nothing wrong with this, of course, except if you do it with too many things, which can create a clutter problem. If that happens, you may well be stuck! By that I mean that your emotions may serve as a paralyzing force rather than a motivating one - your feelings about your things take precedence over practical concerns.

Sentimental: You save something because you have a positive memory associated with it.
Stuck: You can't part with the souvenir even if it makes you feel bad (such as saving a mixed tape from the boyfriend you wish you'd never broken up with).

Sentimental: You save a few things that have a positive memory associated with them.
Stuck: You save most everything with positive memories associated with them.

Sentimental: You save a few items that belonged to a person you care or cared about.
Stuck: You can't bear to part with anything that belonged to that person.

Sentimental: You have a special place for your souvenirs.
Stuck: You pile your souvenirs in a drawer or closet that you rarely access.

Sentimental: You're capable of tossing something that has a positive memory if you need the space in which it's stored or you see that it has no use.
Stuck: You can't part with a special object no matter what.

Sentimental: You can get rid of the item after the memory stops being important to you.
Stuck: You save the item because the memory was once important to you.

Sentimental: You take good care of the things you save.
Stuck: The things you save get piled into the back of a closet, hidden under a bed or stored in an attic or basement and possibly damaged by water or dust.

Sentimental: What you save honors an experience you've had or a person you knew.
Stuck: The saved item isn't particular to your own life experience.


The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/19/16 10:16 A

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ARE YOU A SAVER OR A PACK RAT?
Saver: Can visualize a concrete use for something in the immediate future.
Pack Rat: Will save anything that might be useful in the future or could theoretically be useful to someone they know.

Saver: Stops saving when he has enough useful items. (For example, you have enough grocery bags for the next week, at which time you are likely to get more at the supermarket, if needed.)
Pack Rat: Has a hard time knowing when enough is enough and saves more than he can use; he thinks "it couldn't hurt" to save more grocery bags even though every time he opens the cabinet they fall out and need to be picked up.

Saver: Can get rid of something if it's clear she is not going to use it (such as an eyeglass case for glasses that are long since lost), even if it is potentially useful.
Pack Rat: Will save an item that has outlived its utility, "just in case."

Saver: Will get rid of something if it's not used in a reasonable amount of time.
Pack Rat: Loses track of how long he's had something until it becomes a fixture in the house.

Saver: Will discover he has two similar items and will choose the best one rather than saving both.
Pack Rat: Will save multiple versions of the same item because "you never know."

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/17/16 5:47 P

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Collections yes
Stockpiles yes yes yes yes yes

Ohio


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6/17/16 2:33 P

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DO YOU HAVE A COLLECTION OR A STOCKPILE?
Collection: Items adhere to a narrow theme - art deco jewelry, for instance, or Frank Sinatra albums.
Stockpile: The theme is ill defined or very broad (e.g. jewelry in general, old LPs).

Collection: Displayed in a careful manner that encourages viewing.
Stockpile: Untidy; gets in the way or prevents you from using areas of your home for their intended use.

Collection: Easily recognizable to an outsider as a special array of objects.
Stockpile: Just looks like lots of "stuff" to an outsider.

Collection: Is allotted enough room to be stored properly.
Stockpile: Items overflow in bins, drawers, closets or piles.

Collection: Each item is unique and has special meaning.
Stockpile: May contain multiples of the same item.

Collection: Acquisition of items requires a strategy (for example, if you collect vintage coins, you may be saving up or searching to find one unique coin that completes your collection).
Stockpile: Items are purchased simply because you like them.

Collection: Collectors may belong to a community of other people who collect the same objects and are willing to swap and trade (as opposed to just getting and finding more).
Stockpile: Stockpilers gather things on their own and keep them.

Collection: You could give up an item in your collection if you need the money or space for a better item.
Stockpile: You have a hard time parting with anything you've acquired.



The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/14/16 6:18 P

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I'm with Karen...all but number 3 and only because I live with my dogs!

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/14/16 11:55 A

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All but number 3. I live with my 2 dogs.

Ohio


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SPARKL3SUSAN's Photo SPARKL3SUSAN Posts: 2,093
6/14/16 8:30 A

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8 out of 10. Ouch.

"Everything we do, even the slightest thing we do, can have a ripple effect and repercussions that emanate. If you throw a pebble into the water on one side of the ocean, it can create a tidal wave on the other side." ~ Victor Webster

»Susan


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6/13/16 11:41 P

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I am goning to stop at number 1 & plead guilty

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6/13/16 3:42 P

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THE TEN WAYS CLUTTER CAN CAUSE YOU STRESS
1. It's hard to locate the things you need, when you need them.
2. Being unable to locate important papers, like bills, birth certificates, tax documents, passports or driver's licenses, can result in major setbacks and financial penalties.
3. Arguments over mess can strain your relationships with family members. And difficulty finding the things you need can cause your family members to be late for their appointments which leads to more stress.
4. You spend money on things you already own, because you have forgotten you have them or can't find them.
5. Looking at a pile of bills or any mess is a constant reminder of a chore that needs to be done.
6. A cluttered bedroom is difficult to relax in, and can affect the quality of your sleep and your intimate life.
7. Keeping too many reminders from your past can distract you from living in the present.
8., A cluttered room can overstimulate your senses and cause you to feel anxious and unable to relax.
9. Having to move things around to use your space effectively (i.e. to sit at the kitchen table or sleep in your bed) wastes time and creates extra work.
10. Reluctance to invite people into your home because it's not neat can lead to social isolation, which extensive research suggests can negatively impact your health.

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/6/16 11:48 P

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THE TEN MOST HELPFUL THINGS TO SAY TO A CLUTTERER
Below is a list of the most helpful things you can say to facilitate a positive dialogue with the clutterer in your life. It might help to make a copy of this list and place it in a visible area, so when conflicts around clutter arise, you can use this script to better communicate.
1. "I know this is hard for you."
2. "Let me know how I can help."
3. "You don't have to fix this problem overnight."
4. "Let's find ways to simplify the process."
5. "Don't look at the big picture. Take baby steps."
6. "When you get overwhelmed, take a break and remember your goal is to live a healthier life."
7. "We are a team."
8. "Help me understand where you have the most difficulty."
9. "What things are important to your in your home?"
10. "Let me know how I can best support you; you are in charge of how this process of decluttering goes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would love to print off this list and give it to a certain someone in my life...but I know there would be consequences I just don't want to have to deal with!! Linda

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/2/16 7:47 P

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Pretty proud of myself tonight. tired but proud. I spent the day with my sister & her SO at a community garage sale. I walked away from things I use to buy....books & magazines & clothes. I bought some candles, throw rugs, pillows for my dogs & some cheap trivia for the memory care residents. It was good exercise which I really need. So day well spent

Ohio


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6/2/16 2:20 P

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THE 10 LEAST HELPFUL THINGS YOU CAN SAY TO A CLUTTERER
If you live with someone who is messy or keeps common areas cluttered, chances are you have the same arguments weekly - or even daily. While it's important to express your needs, it's also important to facilitate open communication and to keep tempers under control so that you can work toward actually solving the problem. Here's a list of statements that you should look to avoid;each of these will simply cause the person to feel judged, and will decrease the likelihood of sustainable, positive change.
1. "You don't care about yourself or your environment."

2. "You don't care about how your clutter affects me."

3. "You must have a disorganized mind."

4. "It's not important for you to have things organized."

5. "You're a slob."

6. "Your stuff is more important than me!"

7. "Just throw it away. It's no big deal!"

8. "You don't need to keep that."

9. "You're never going to use/wear that."

10. "Just get rid of it. You won't miss it."

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/2/16 2:06 P

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I am just me and the dogs too but I live in a duplex next to my mom and she hates the clutter. I don't ever have people over. I am working on it but sometimes wonder if I'll ever get it done!

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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6/2/16 10:10 A

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It is just me & the dogs but I do have clutter in all rooms. Just a small house! LOL

I hesitate to have people over but i am working on it., specially the front rooms are looking better. I have my machine to shred paper in front room now ready to go... but I am going to a Community Garage Sale. Confession time.

Ohio


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IMLOCOLINDA's Photo IMLOCOLINDA Posts: 33,750
6/1/16 9:39 P

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First quiz from Chapter Three

"DOES YOUR CLUTTER CAUSE CONFLICT?
One person can look at a room and see it as a little disorganized, whereas his spouse can view it as living in chaos. Below are some things to think about if you are the messy one in the house.

1. Do you and your family argue or have passive tension over your mess?

2. Do you feel that your family would like you to be neater or more organized even if they don't say so?

3. Even if you value your family's comfort and happiness in the home, do your actions in inactions convey otherwise?

4. Does your personal stuff often spread into other areas of the house?

5. Do you have trouble finding things because there is no organizational system, and do the consequences of this (lateness, for instance) negatively impact your family members?

6. Do your kids or spouse hesitate to have people over because of the state of the house?

7. Are family members unable to use certain areas of the home because of your stuff?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you and your family are experiencing unnecessary stress due to the clutter in your environment. If you answered yes to more than one, your relationship to your things may well be interfering with your relationships with the people you live with. A proactive stance - calling your family together to let them know that you're aware of the problem and that you're going to begin to chip away at it - will go a long way in improving your relationships. You may even ant to ask for your family's support in helping you get a handle on your clutter."

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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SNOWDOESIT's Photo SNOWDOESIT Posts: 2,359
6/1/16 9:17 A

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DO YOU HAVE HOARDING TENDENCIES?

I answered yes to all except maybe 10. I still have an issue with this, but it has improved quite a bit.

Name: Snow (yup, it's my real name!)
Location: Wisconsin, USA - CST
Black Panther Team - BLC


"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work." – Thomas Edison


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5/30/16 11:40 A

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Most of my things were purchased at a garage sale or thrift store. Good price but too much to use. Books & magazines are my weakness but I can olny read so much. Some are thing from my parents.

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IMLOCOLINDA's Photo IMLOCOLINDA Posts: 33,750
5/29/16 11:28 P

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emoticon You have no idea how grateful I am that so many of you are reading along and commenting!

WHAT DOES YOUR STUFF SYMBOLIZE?
This is an exercise to help you determine what your stuff may mean to you. Simply ask yourself the questions that follow about items that you're not sure why you keep, or things that you have multiple versions of. Knowing why you save things can help you decide if you really want to keep them, or if they could be thrown out or given a more useful home with someone else.

1. What do you feel when you see the item? Does it make you feel good? Or does it bring up negative feelings, such as sadness or regret?

2. How did you acquire the item? Did it belong to someone else? The history of an item, whether it was a gift or belonged to someone important to you, can play into your feelings about it.

3. Why do you think you keep it?

4. What do you think it would mean about you if you got rid of it? Would you feel wasteful, for instance, or like you were giving up something more than the material item, like a part of your history or identity?

5. What do you fear would happen if you let go of the item? Do you fear what others would think if they knew that you got rid of the item? Sometimes people have unconscious fears about what others would think if they got rid of something a friend or family member once gave them.

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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5/29/16 3:30 P

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Very interesting. I answered yes to 8.

A few weeks ago Dr. Phil had a show on hoarding. I am not as far gone as the lady featured. My main reason to beat this monster is the realization that my days are numbered. I don't want my items just bagged out as trash. I think it will be less stressful & a more peaceful environment.

Ohio


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5/29/16 7:37 A

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As an only child, I got everything! My younger daughter is very particular as to what she'll take,

Older daughter will take anything that's free. They can be mea ing ful articles that are family heirlooms. Still, they mean nothing to her. She'll sell them on E-Bay, what else.

So, now anything I give her of value, I give it to her with the idea of keeping it until I pass then I don't care!





"All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord, and are called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28

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5/29/16 3:04 A

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Yes to 1 - 9. I've pretty much got 10 and 11 under control, thank goodness.

Going camping the next two days. I'll try to check in on my reading and decluttering when I get back.



- Karen

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." -- George Bernard Shaw



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5/28/16 9:01 P

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Yes to all!!
Just two weeks ago I cleared some boxed of antique clothing out of the storage rental unit and washed them - clothes from my husband's grandmother that his own mother refused to deal with (her mom's stuff), and both are dead now. These clothes are largely worn out and I hate to throw them in the trash because I "know" some like "vintage" items. Now they are in our living room!! I need to haul these bags to thrift store!! I don't have time or energy to take on some new "project"
emoticon emoticon

She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms.
Proverbs 31:17


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5/28/16 4:10 P

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DO YOU HAVE HOARDING TENDENCIES?
The following are tendencies that are very common in those who struggle with hoarding, and to a lesser extent in non-hoarders. Read the questions below and note how many of these feelings resonate with you?
1. Do you have a hard time parting with items, even if you have never used them or they are broken?

2. Do you have many items around your house that don't have a permanent home?

3. Do you tend to make piles of things, to be dealt with at a future time, and these piles often linger for more than a few days?

4. Are there areas in your home (the dining room table, for instance) that must be cleared off before they can be used for their intended purpose?

5. Do you save things often because you are concerned about how you will feel if you need them in the future and no longer have them?

6. Do you often save things without a clear idea of how you'll use it in the future?

7. Do you still have items that you once bought with the intention of giving them away as gifts?

8. Do you have boxes of possessions that have moved with you from home to home but you've never gone through?

9. Do you often buy multiples of the same item because you've forgotten you have it?

10. Are you helpless when faced with "a good deal", even if it's a good deal on something you don't need?

11. Do you take free things, like shampoos from hotels or packets of crackers, that you never wind up using?

The more of these questions you answered yes to, the stronger your hoarding tendencies, and your environment is likely cluttered accordingly. If you answered yes to all of them, it does not mean you are a hoarder; many of us have hoarding tendencies, but because they are kept in check, things don't escalate to the point where your life may be greatly affected. Still, the more you have, the more mindful you need to be of your habits so your environment does not cause you undue stress.

The best cure for stressing is to count your blessings...and a long walk won't hurt either!

Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want at the MOMENT!


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