Group photo
Author:
PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/21/15 10:04 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 8
Weight 224.6 (not surprised)
Mood ANXIOUS!!!

So last night got even rougher when I bolted awake after two hours of sleep and couldn't get back to sleep for 5 more hours. All kinds of anxiety and panic. Wow. And that's why having too many blank mood days in a row worries me. It usually winds up there.

Asking for help

I'm actually pretty good at this one. My family, my friends, and my theatre coworkers all know what my goals are and what I'm looking for. I'm going to hold off and put this one with the next tomorrow because they're connected.

PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/20/15 9:02 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Not sure why I just backlashed the way I did, but I overshot the wide road by a bit.

I brushed my teeth and closed the kitchen, hoping to put an end to the day's over-eating.

Ack.

PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/20/15 12:40 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 7
Weight 223.6
Mood - Restless and frustrated

It's better than blank I think.

I hurt today. My arms hurt from I think too much typing, and my legs hurt from maybe too much yoga (it's hard on my knees but also good for them so I'm trying to find the right balance). All of the things I want to do involve either my wrists or my knees. So here's my "do it anyway" and "no matter what" day.

I stayed inside my calories yesterday, and did what I feel was a good job though the scale didn't budge much this morning. It's taking a lot of mental work to not just let these last few days of summer break go and "start Monday" with the school year. A lot of things will be easier then because of schedules but I want these habits to be because I'm making choices, not because I don't have time to eat too much.

Day 7
Cheerleading

Like another of the early days this is really hard for me. I can say all the right words but feeling them is another matter. I have been overweight for 24 years, and it's hard to really believe there's something else for me, that I can make lifelong changes... but I'm going to type the words and keep reading them ever day until they sink in.

I can do this.

I left an abusive marriage, moved across the country with two suitcases and a guitar and started a better life. If I can do that, I can do this.

I can do this.

I lost 100 pounds just working out and eating well before. I let it go with life got intense but now I know that those changes were what fueled the awesome life and I will have that back.

I can do this.

I have goals, and dreams, and plans and me being fit is a big part of them. I will not give up on my dreams just to indulge in food.

I can do this.

I survived four years of complete hell. I pulled myself through a complete mental breakdown, and held my life and family together through it. I am amazingly strong. Now that I am in a good place it's time to put the crutches made of food down. I don't need them anymore.

I can do this because I am strong, and determined, and brave.
I can do this because I have the power to shape my own reality.
I can do this because I am worth doing this For.

So today... even though all I want to do is sleep, I'm going to work on my dreams. I'm going to make plans to cover the next few months of getting my business up and going, and I'm going to take a long walk outside, and I'm going to stay within my calories, and I'm going to enjoy my life. I'm going to do these things because every choice matters, and every day matters.

I can do this.

PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/19/15 8:51 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 6
Weight 223.8
Mood - Blank

I'm working on the blankness, as it's not something I'm ok with.

And last night was a good indication of why. I went to bed with a book, and found myself nibbling, and then more than nibbling and was very quickly at the "screw it" point. I ended up going a few hundred calories over even my "wide road" and woke up this morning with a stomachache.

Things I will be doing to prevent this in the future...

1) Do not have the package of delicious things in my room. I can bring a serving of something in there, or a meal if I'm working at the desk, but not a bag of trail mix or something. Having the whole bag sitting there is pointless temptation and makes it too easy for me to eat without thinking about it.

2) If I find myself wanting to eat, read my list of reasons first.

3) "Close the kitchen" when it's time for my before-sleep reading.

Rereading day 5, I did think about part of it that I'd like to put in place... that part about writing down the food I want and waiting so I'll be trying that.

And now... moving forward....

Day 6
Protect Your Program

I have a bit of an edge here. As an actor, it's very easy for me to say "No thank you." especially at work. I can even say that I'm dieting and no one questions it. We all are. It makes the social pressure a lot easier to deal with which is great. What still isn't easy though are the times when I'm alone and just want to eat because I want to eat, or because I'm bored or lonely or upset.

I see two windows when that can happen. The first is mid to late afternoon... 3-6ish. The second is after 9 or 10pm. One good thing is that once school starts again I'm going to be busy or sleeping a lot during those times, but that doesn't actually solve the issue. This is when being able to look at my list of reasons and goals will help I think. I'm going to write it out nicely on a card right now so I can keep it with me.

PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/18/15 10:41 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 5
Weight 222.6
Mood - blank

I know myself well enough to know that underneath a blank mood is a whole lot of feeling, but at the moment it's not touching me.

Didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I seem to be fighting with my friends more often lately, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I don't have a lot of people I'm really close to, but I had a large circle of what I'd call "closer than casual" friends, and last night I got into it with one of them over another friend of mine that he dislikes. We didn't really make up, and I went to bed still thinking about it. (Nice though that I didn't Eat about it)

I think it's a good thing, in a way. The fights tend to come from moments where I'm not willing to let someone step on my feelings just to keep the peace. I'm trying to learn to actually say when I'm upset, when I've had enough, but it had me thinking some really difficult things.

Like this...

I'm alone. I live with my parents because we're helping each-other with money and all, and I love them, but I'm alone.

I'm divorced, and the marriage I left didn't have any love in it, just control (not mine), and I've been on one date in the almost 6 years since.

I have a very few close friends, one fewer lately, and I don't see them all that often.

I have work friends who I really like, but I'm the serious one, not the fun one, so when they make plans to go do something fun I'm often not involved.

And I begin to feel like I'm a skipping-stone, touching people's lives only briefly.

This is the sort of thing that would go in that magic notebook.... except that I already blog on the site here, and I write songs and stories, and have a goal book, and.... too many notebooks already to add another one. So I do get the idea of writing these things down but.... I don't need a new notebook for that.

PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/17/15 10:45 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 4
Weight 222.2
Mood - quiet

Boundaries

I had to really think about this one. I've been on one kind of road or another for so long that it's hard to know how to choose where to set the limits, but this is what I've come up with.

Narrow road (focused weight loss days)
-Within bottom half of SP range
-8 cups of water
-7 or more hours of sleep/rest
-no candy
-0 or 1 drink
-yoga, strength and cardio or commute

Wide road
-Within 100 calories of SP range
-8 cups of water
-as much sleep as I can get with my schedule
-Limit candy to 1 serving
-drinks within range
-either yoga and strength OR cardio or commute (except rest days)

I think this keeps me on the path but gives me room without giving me "green light" or "cheat" days.


PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/16/15 3:15 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 3
Weight 224.2
Mood Energized, upset, good

It's a weird mix of moods I know. Some of it comes from the scale. Usually its weird ups and downs don't get to me but this morning I was shocked. Saturday is usually a day when I let myself go off plan and I didn't yesterday, and to see myself gain that much anyway was beyond frustrating.

And timely

"Do It Anyway"

Day 3 again deals with being committed instead of interested, in not throwing in the towel even on the little things and not letting a setback throw you off course. Trusting your motivation and choices to land you in the right direction even when the day to day isn't showing it.

I'm not great at that kind of trust, and here's where I come back to the faith thing. Surrender is hard for me. I love the idea, and the feeling behind it, about trusting that as long as you're giving everything you can, you'll get where you're supposed to be, but I struggle with it in two ways. First, I struggle with this question. "What if where I'm supposed to be is somewhere I'm going to hate?" and I know I should trust that being where I'm supposed to be will be fulfilling but I don't quite. Secondly, and this is the big one... I'm never sure I've given all I could. No matter what I do I've always wondered if it was enough.

And so this morning I sat and thought about that all again, and about the weight loss I'm working toward, and about the scale and moving forward and it was hard.

It was hard to do my workout today. It was in three pieces and after each piece it was hard to keep going. It was hard to have oatmeal this morning instead of the omelet I wanted. (The oatmeal was tasty and nutritious, but I wanted cheese) and it was hard to shower and do chores and make something of the day, but I did it.

Do it anyway. Surrender. Trust the process and honestly give it everything you can. Don't half a** it and expect results and get angry when they don't come. Keep your promises to yourself.

It's all wrapped up in there together, and something I definitely need to keep thinking about.

BLUEJAY1961 Posts: 827
8/16/15 12:57 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon . You can make this happen.

 Pounds lost: 15.0 
0
16.5
33
49.5
66
CONNIEDICKENS SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (2,975)
Posts: 368
8/15/15 3:16 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you for the info. I'll definitely look it up. Good luck following the book.


 current weight: 155.0 
207
194
181
168
155
PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/15/15 1:53 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 2
Weight 223.4
Emotional State - A little calmer but still hurting

No Matter What.

This is timely.

Yesterday I went out to see a show. I didn't know at the time that the plan involved getting a drink before, or dinner after so I wasn't prepared to budget my calories. So I focused on making choices each time... shrimp and hummus with the drink instead of something heavy. We went to IHOP after and I skipped my usual cocoa. I chose my meal well, with steak and eggs and light sides. Lots of protein. I came home and entered my calories in as soon as I got home, and was a few over what I wanted

I could have decided then and there to eat a bunch of snack food because "It's ruined anyway" but I looked at the calories and saw where I was and stopped. It was hard to stop that little voice but I did, because here's the truth.

Every single choice I have is a chance to make myself proud. Even if something before hasn't turned out the way I expected, every choice is a chance. And every time I face one of those choices I'm going to say to myself "I'm going to choose myself, and my future, and follow my plans no matter what."

Sometimes with my work and my life, I go out.
Sometimes I'm going to have a drink.
Sometimes I'm going to eat the cookie.

I plan for this, and I make room for this because a good plan leaves room for your life.

But I'm not going to turn that "living room" into an excuse to ignore my plan for the day. I'm going to stay committed and look at one choice at a time.

PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/15/15 1:06 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It's based on the book 100 Days of Weight Loss

I read through some of the book discussion thread and it sounded worth looking into so I picked it up on Amazon... was about 7 dollars which isn't bad. I'm only on day 2 so hard to give much of a review, but I do like the idea of working through my thoughts instead of just making plans to change actions.

CONNIEDICKENS SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (2,975)
Posts: 368
8/15/15 10:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Interesting idea. I read below this is based on a book? I'd like to know more. You also mentioned you're struck by the idea that your faith may come out in your posts. LET IT. Faith, no matter which one, is the strongest supporter anyone can have. It also serves to inspire others who have lost faith or hope.

 current weight: 155.0 
207
194
181
168
155
PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/14/15 5:09 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 1
Weight 222.2
Emotions - Tired, upset

It's a rough day to start anything positive, as I had about 3 hours of sleep last night after feeling very hurt and upset. Still, it's what we do through the hard times that confirms our character right?

Today's work

-I used to hoard my calories for the end of the day and then go over, but now I pay attention to fueling myself throughout the day.

-I used to look forward to going out based on the food I'd get to eat, now I think about the company I'll get to have.

-I used to hide what I ate from my family, now I eat when I'm hungry whether there's someone around to see or not.

-I used to take any slip up as an excuse to indulge since it was "ruined" anyway but now I view each of my choices on their own merits.

-I used to think I'd always be overweight, but now I know I can and will reach my goals.


This is a hard exercise for me in an odd way. I am Very good at framing things positively, even when I don't feel or believe that way, so my real challenge here is being real, and choosing the actual fears and Meaning the positive things I say about them. I'm also struck right now by the feeling that my faith, which very rarely gives itself a voice in public, is going to come out in these writings some. I'm not sure why but there it is.



1DAY-ATA-TIME's Photo 1DAY-ATA-TIME Posts: 28,671
8/14/15 4:54 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Great reasons, great goals, best of luck to you.

emoticon

Edited by: 1DAY-ATA-TIME at: 8/14/2015 (16:54)
Ron G.

“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” Booker T. Washington
FRANKIEKNIGHT2's Photo FRANKIEKNIGHT2 Posts: 697
8/14/15 12:46 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I'm on Day 13

The book has real eye opening things in it..Keep going..Good luck

 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
11.25
22.5
33.75
45
MOONCHILD8's Photo MOONCHILD8 Posts: 7,059
8/14/15 9:13 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi! What a great idea! I am currently on a 5% Challenge. I am a maintainer and have not been losing weight but have not gained either. I am trying to lose again. I have not been doing well with my diet. I will be getting back to the basic food protein and vegetables. I have three vegetables and three fruit servings a day. I have protein three times a day also. I walk my dog and my daughters dog three to four times a day. The mornings I talk a long walk. In the afternoon and evenings I get a shorter walk. I also try to lift weights a couple of times a week. Best wishes as you take on this amazing challenge of 100 days. Please post your progress. Linda from bean town

Linda from bean town EST


 current weight: 125.0 
159
150.5
142
133.5
125
SPARKKITTY2016's Photo SPARKKITTY2016 Posts: 9,638
8/14/15 4:43 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Best Wishes with your goals !

looking for friends to connect with, get to know, and encourage each other along this journey. :-)
Blessings
~Kathleen


Kentucky - EST hisencouraginggrace.wordpress.com hisencouraginggrace.wordpress.com


 current weight: 198.0 
285
251.25
217.5
183.75
150
PFERG66's Photo PFERG66 Posts: 2,300
8/14/15 12:17 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon
Jump right in and follow that ready-ness!
"Gung ho" at this point means 'baby steps'--take it easy on yourself and invest your time in exploring all the great things Spark People has to offer. I've been chugging along now for more than a year and a half--slow and steady has built some incredible new habits.

My very best to you on this journey!
Priscilla

"With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.
--Thomas Foxwell Buxton


 current weight: 141.0 
165
159
153
147
141
PLAN_FOR_TRACIE's Photo PLAN_FOR_TRACIE SparkPoints: (2,204)
Fitness Minutes: (4,086)
Posts: 23
8/14/15 12:02 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Starting this in the morning will get me right up until Thanksgiving, which seems like a really great time to end one thing and consider it and then begin fresh.

Day 0
Current weight 223.2
Diet - protein focused, lower carb but no specific restrictions
Weigh ins - Thursday morning

My 10 reasons
1. To feel better about the way I look.
2. To be able to buy nice clothes and have them look good.
3. To be easier to cast and costume (and therefore work more in my field)
4. To be castable as leads.
5. To be able to run more and faster with less risk of injury.
6. To be less tired.
7. To feel attractive and confident in dating.
8. To stay healthy and prevent weight related illness and injury.
9. To be able to do fun sporting things like mud runs and spartans.
10. To be able to spend the day not thinking about my weight, or being afraid of what people think of me.

This is a new journey, and I'm not sure excited is quite the word but "ready" is.


Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Emotional Eaters 100 Days of Weight Loss Posts

Topics:
Last Post:
1/14/2019 12:40:16 PM



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=27543x439x62250243

Review our Community Guidelines