Group photo
Author:
MAJONES1225's Photo MAJONES1225 Posts: 6,855
7/6/13 6:24 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have to say that I agree with you about all of the negative at work. That is my biggest problem too. But I do have to say with what you started here really helps me at work a lot. Carol put me on Buddhism site and I love all of the quotes and some of the books they have. I do have say that just begin on SP with all of the support and advise I get helps me out a lot. I also love all of the new friends that I have made on here too. This site has really helped in creating the new me. Hang in there. emoticon

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still."


 Pounds lost: 46.0 
0
12.5
25
37.5
50
AMBERZADE67's Photo AMBERZADE67 SparkPoints: (16,581)
Fitness Minutes: (23,777)
Posts: 875
7/6/13 9:47 A

Send Private Message
Reply
haha .... thanks for the replies .... these are all good ideas and I am going to try all of them ..... I like the way all of you think!

I WALKED RIGHT OUT OF THE MACHINERY - Solsbury Park

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye."
~Antoine de St Exupery

A Sparkteam I started called Purposeful Positivity - PLEASE JOIN!

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=60064

My Website:
www.amberzade.net/


 current weight: 255.8 
296
258.25
220.5
182.75
145
CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 13,026
7/6/13 9:32 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Part of me wants to say..... retirement will come and you will love it. However, that is not a helpful or realistic reply.
The challenge is to think of yourself as a duck and the negative crap as water rolling off your back. Another tactic is to ask open ended questions, eg. "What is it you want me to do to solve your problem?" or (and this worked for me with a recalcitrant teen) ask why four times... "I don't know' is not an acceptable answer and repeating an answer is not OK.

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


 current weight: 20.0  over
25
12.5
0
-12.5
-25
TRIANGLE-WOMAN's Photo TRIANGLE-WOMAN Posts: 4,076
7/6/13 8:16 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
One of my super powers is to "skillfully influence outcomes"...I hate the word manipulate.

emoticon

re: "Sometimes all you can do is to sit back and enjoy the show...."

Yes, that is the tact I have taken, and the meaner, the more unreasonable the person, the more fawning and apologetic I get.

I've found that if you "bare your belly" in a skillful way - (not TOO much hyperbole - then it become insulting) but just enough to get them to step back and realize what an a$$ they are being, 99% of people will immediately be disarmed.

It can be fun to watch if you can learn to step back and not get your dander up along with the other person...

Good luck dearie.







NANCYJH64's Photo NANCYJH64 Posts: 966
7/6/13 7:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I also work in an industry where there are many many kind and understanding clients but also those who you can not please no matter what.

Here is my take:

That negative person has much greater issues that they are just miserable and I can not take it personally. I have asked after a client rant to me "I am so sorry that you feel that way. I can not imagine that this issue that we are taking care of has made you this angry. Please tell me if I can help you with what is really bugging you" Now mind you, I have only done this a few times ( I also want to keep my job) but in all of the instances, the client has stopped and in two cases said you are right.... this is what is really happening in my life. One time I was even able to come up with a sales solution to help them!!!

My therapist said to remember that those negative people are NOT a reflection of you. Sometimes all you can do is to sit back and enjoy the show....

Nancy-McHenry Illinois

You're on your own, and you know what you know, and You are the one who'll decide where to go....

Dr. Seuss.


 current weight: 226.0 
226
219.5
213
206.5
200
AMBERZADE67's Photo AMBERZADE67 SparkPoints: (16,581)
Fitness Minutes: (23,777)
Posts: 875
7/6/13 7:05 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Good morning fellow positive thinkers!

Dealing with the negativity at work in all it's forms is one of the biggest reasons why I started this group. People in my real life laugh when I tell them I started a group founded in optimism because they don't see me that way. They are right. But I simply don't care. I know that optimism is the solution for what ails me and so I will proceed forward. Even if I go a few steps back.

I had a really bad day at work yesterday. I mean, I had people yelling at me for getting what they wanted. They were of course angry about something else entirely. I don't always know the reason. Sometimes they are just angry. Really, that should be something I should be able to understand.

But I am also at a point in my life where I am feeling like it's NOT okay to call me a stupid beatch over and over again. I suppose I'm at a point where I feel there should be a way for me to say to the person saying such things to me that this isn't okay. This takes a little more skill than I was capable of at the moment. So yesterday I gambled as if I had nothing to lose and let that woman know that not only was I know a stupid beatch but I was not her dog to kick. I had actually performed the task she had called in for. I guess I wasn't in the mood to be her therapist. Well, maybe her Gestalt therapist. LOL

One of my skills is pushing peoples buttons. It's manipulating a situation so that people stumble into the realization of their own faults and weaknesses. It's a gift. I may have been born with it. I don't know. It drove my Mother to greater and greater heights of abuse. With her of course it was different. She was my parent. Let's just say that as a child, my smart mouth was my only defense.

The thing is that as I move from hermit to fully participating in life, as I move from silence to having a voice, this little skill of mine is rearing it's ugly head. It's really playing with fire.

I have decided that I do NOT want to lose my job. I don't want to change my life so drastically. I want most of my life to continue on as it has before. There are a lot of good things about my job, it's not just the money. I am good at my job and I am able to help people. What I don't like is the people who call in just for the purposes of abusing other people.

One hypothetical example is a woman whose bill is lower than expected. Such a hypothetical woman might call in and complain for 15 minutes or so about the number she has to pay being less than she expected it to be. She might threaten to not pay her bill until the number matches what she expected to be, i.e. the HIGHER amount. This woman might, even after the discrepancy is explained to her, continue to complain and refuse to take the bank error in her favor and BEATCH.

Another hypothetical example is a woman who calls in at 10 pm the night before and gets an appointment. She wants an earlier date than is originally given. She isn't called by 8am the next morning and so calls back in at 8:45 am, demanding to know why she wasn't called by 8 am as promised. She is told that she can have the date and time that she is asking for requisite apologies are made for her not receiving a phone call informing her of the change.

Such a woman might feel that she has a point to make and so demand to know why she isn't called. Upon further investigation it is discovered that the change to her appointment was made at 5am. In other words, some poor soul was up in the wee hours of the night doing what the woman requested and upon completing that request, didn't pick up the phone at 5am and give her a call. I don't know, maybe after performing that pre-dawn miracle they took a nap. I can't say, The point is, this woman, when given the explanation that the change was made at an hour when she couldn't get called, continues to complain.

Really?

Such things just make me tired, so very tired.

But after journalling last night, and thinking about it, I have decided that I want my job. I will have to put yesterday behind me and move forward. I'll have to put it behind me as if it never happened and move ahead.

I've pulled out my first book on optimism by Christian D Larson and am going to read some this morning and try to read some every day.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Have a great day!



I WALKED RIGHT OUT OF THE MACHINERY - Solsbury Park

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye."
~Antoine de St Exupery

A Sparkteam I started called Purposeful Positivity - PLEASE JOIN!

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=60064

My Website:
www.amberzade.net/


 current weight: 255.8 
296
258.25
220.5
182.75
145
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other ***Purposeful Positivity - Loving the Journey*** Tell Us Your Story - Triumphs and Pitfalls Posts

Topics:
Last Post:



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=25993x60064x54019572

Review our Community Guidelines