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AMBERZADE67's Photo AMBERZADE67 SparkPoints: (16,581)
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5/26/13 7:40 A

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Oh ... I didn't see this at first ... how wonderful!! emoticon

I WALKED RIGHT OUT OF THE MACHINERY - Solsbury Park

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye."
~Antoine de St Exupery

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AMBERZADE67's Photo AMBERZADE67 SparkPoints: (16,581)
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5/26/13 7:39 A

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What a great and interesting post.

I am sure you will find what you want with your daughter. I believe a dynamic between a Mother and a Daughter is different than one between a Mother and a Son. In my own experience, it was taken to the extreme and my Mother was jealous in a near freudian way, as well as destructive in many ways.

I would say be very gentle with yourself while struggling with issues with your daughter. There is a dichotomy, a to and fro, that goes on with our children because they are individuals, yet also us, and at the very same time that we are trying to guide them, all of our issues are playing out simultaneously and I would say, it's almost as though it's a multi-dimensional thing. Which I think is what causes us to sometimes not be the US we wanted to be in a situation. Sometimes it seems like no matter what we do the 'I care about you and want you to be and have all the good that this world has to offer' doesn't come across the way we mean it to. LOL

However, at the end of the day, I think the fact that you love your daughter will come through. I tell my son all the time that I am amazed he turned out as well as he did. As a Mother, in part because of my own dismal relationship with my Mother, I am a little crazy. I spent most of his childhood in a deep depression, and he didn't have a Father. Yet, somehow he seems to be okay - not perfect - but okay and on his way to a future. I think this is due in part to his temperament and the fact that I do love him so very much.

I also wanted to say that I love the randomness of cards. Believing in it is sort of what traditional Christians might call witchcraft, but I believe in certain laws governing the universe, and chaos and the rightness of what seems random is part of that.

I like your cards.



I WALKED RIGHT OUT OF THE MACHINERY - Solsbury Park

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye."
~Antoine de St Exupery

A Sparkteam I started called Purposeful Positivity - PLEASE JOIN!

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=60064

My Website:
www.amberzade.net/


 current weight: 255.8 
296
258.25
220.5
182.75
145
WHITEANGEL4's Photo WHITEANGEL4 SparkPoints: (484,440)
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5/25/13 11:37 P

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Tanks for the update on things

Keep on track


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JENSHAINES's Photo JENSHAINES Posts: 9,366
5/25/13 1:32 P

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So glad to hear about you and your daughter's discussion. It sounds like she has a good plan, too (I'm sure you helped her come up with that). I hope that all is peaceful with you and yours soon!

Jen or MiJen
Ann Arbor, Michigan
BLC 36 - Azure Destinations - I am the Chimp Detective
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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 13,172
5/24/13 7:39 P

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Thanks so much for the update. There are those wonderful moments as a parent that the Universe gives us to remind us that we are so glad we have pushed ourselves into the next generation.

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


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TRIANGLE-WOMAN's Photo TRIANGLE-WOMAN Posts: 4,076
5/24/13 7:00 P

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Just as an update: My daughter came home from school, we had a long and relaxed conversation about a lot of things. By "conversation" I mean she talked and I nodded sympathetically and validated what is going on in her life and offered not one iota of advice on how to fix anything. My oldest daughter chimed in with her advice to her volatile little sister and it was received with grace and appreciation.

She agreed to see a counselor over the summer to help her get a handle on her emotions and all the baggage that comes with being in high school these days. My feeling right now is one of great relief.

I just pulled another "Law of Attraction" card at random and came up with:

"My Thoughts are in Harmony with Health"

Thanks Abraham for confirming what I already felt....




JENSHAINES's Photo JENSHAINES Posts: 9,366
5/24/13 2:00 P

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I thought your solutions here were absolutely wonderful. Just keep your eyes on that prize, and it will fall into place. Teens are SUPPOSED to make some mistakes. emoticon

I had a situation similar to CarolJean, too, and my son and I are in a great place.

I want to DO yoga again so I need to be patient and follow the directives of my doctor. I want to BE able to do many different types of exercise, so I'll need to experiment and not expect to do things perfectly. I want to HAVE healthy knees again, so I need to be rigorous about following the instructions from today and to be patient with myself during this time of healing.

Thanks for the great post!


Edited by: JENSHAINES at: 5/24/2013 (14:03)
Jen or MiJen
Ann Arbor, Michigan
BLC 36 - Azure Destinations - I am the Chimp Detective
My superpower is Dance Dance Revolution!!!!
My Weakness is Body odors
My Weapon is Your Fire Rod
My Mode of Transportation is Capsule


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TRIANGLE-WOMAN's Photo TRIANGLE-WOMAN Posts: 4,076
5/24/13 9:36 A

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Thank you.

I know "this too shall pass" but while I'm wallowing in the mire it is so hard to see that far....

I know I've come a long way because I have no desire to eat to "fix" this or comfort myself, so I know I'll have extra energy to care for myself instead of beating myself up for my food transgressions. I know that will go a long way towards keeping the house as calm as it can be which should help us deal with things. That is a blessing!

XOXO







CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 13,172
5/24/13 9:30 A

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I hope you find my story helpful. I taught at the same high school my daughter attended. Luckily it was a large school (abou 2300 kids) and she would never have me as a teacher. The first 2 1/2 to 3 years were less than wonderful. Although she did know that I told my students I was a mother before I was a teacher and if DD needed me during the school day, she got priority.
Then something magic happened. I wish I could tell you what it was... I think it was parts of two things.... she wasn't 14, 15 and 16 anymore and I realized I had to step back to let her solve her own problems. By the time she was a senior, she came to my room for lunch 2-3 times a week.
Now she is a successful attorney and we are best friends.
It will happen.

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


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TRIANGLE-WOMAN's Photo TRIANGLE-WOMAN Posts: 4,076
5/24/13 9:13 A

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I posted this to another board, so if you see it twice, don't be surprised. I just wanted to post my "pitfall" story here because my post to the other board and my "solution" was inspired by this board and Amber's "Power Cards"...

So if sounds like I'm talking about this team in the third person, I am. I did not want to edit to fix that.

So here is my pitfall....and what I'm trying to "fix" or "attract" or whatever to get the issue resolved.....

♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥

I've had a pack of "Law of Attraction Cards" sitting in my drawer. They were developed by Ester and Jerry Hicks from "The Teachings of Abraham" I don't use them often.

My left brain skeptic poo poos them.

My intuitive, right brain feelings about the Law of Attraction are more generous and open and if truth be told, I believe in it more and more as I get older and learn to utilize the relaxed power of intent.

Am I just seeing more opportunities because I've gotten rid of some of the negative baggage from my past, or am I consciously creating more opportunities....????

It is a chicken and egg question to me and does not matter to me.

I love the results and the peace and Well Being and deep sense of fulfillment that I'm experiencing on many levels when I use the power of relaxed intent.

Not that things are perfect.

My middle daughter is experiencing some really, really difficult issues with home, school and me in particular. We seem to be toxic to each other on many levels and we seem to always react badly to each other. I'm worried beyond belief about her this morning. I said the wrong thing. Sparks flew (not the good kind) and explosion erupted from Mount Sarah and one from me too. It was infuriating and heart breaking and leaves me drained and confused.

So, I saw this pack of cards in my drawer and on another team, the leader posts "Power Cards" which seem similar to these. You randomly draw one and meditate on it.

I thought I might try that here and post it for others to see and use if they think useful.

I just pulled a card that said:

There is Nothing I Cannot Be, Do or Have

At first I was confused and was about to pull another one. This just did not seem to speak to the situation with my daughter at all.

But instead that "little voice" urged me to "work with it"...so I will work with it.

I want to meditate on BEING what my daughter needs to thrive and make it through a tough year in school.

I want to DO things that help her emotionally - like giving her a hug instead of constantly offering advice and solutions.

I want to HAVE a good relationship with her for the few short years that she has left in my home before she flys off to the wider world.

What do YOU want to DO, BE or HAVE??

Edited by: TRIANGLE-WOMAN at: 5/24/2013 (09:20)

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