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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 13,031
5/6/13 10:31 A

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I love your brother's saying a lot!!!
I think we as women ... at least those of us in our 40's and up have a challenge with being assertive. I am in my late 60's and I know I was socialized to be a "good girl" which meant not being polite, self-effacing, at least to me. Then, I became a teacher and realized someone had to speak up for my kids.... I taught at risk teens for 20 years. Being heard without being called whiny or witchy is a challenging balance.

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AMBERZADE67's Photo AMBERZADE67 SparkPoints: (16,581)
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5/6/13 7:06 A

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Yeah I see what all of you are saying.

My Brother has a saying which I suppose he got from somewhere else lol .... It's

"Is that the hill you want to die on?"

Lately I've become more vocal and it's really difficult for me to strike the balance between assertive and strident. I have to make my choices about what to complain about. One of my flaws/strengths is that I feel that there is a way things SHOULD be. Which is to say, I have an ideal in mind, I think there is a right way to do things, and actually I am an essentially a principle driven person. Which ... is good and bad depending on how and when it comes out.

Thanks for the feedback!!

I WALKED RIGHT OUT OF THE MACHINERY - Solsbury Park

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye."
~Antoine de St Exupery

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AMBERZADE67's Photo AMBERZADE67 SparkPoints: (16,581)
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5/6/13 7:01 A

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Thanks CarolJean - I kept wondering if she just didn't feel like she had enough to do because I suppose she was there as a sort of facilitator. But she wasn't helping Stephen King out - so there wasn't much facilitating to do. So ... I think you may be right. I wasn't sure what to do and it was hard to hold my temper because I sure have one.

I WALKED RIGHT OUT OF THE MACHINERY - Solsbury Park

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye."
~Antoine de St Exupery

A Sparkteam I started called Purposeful Positivity - PLEASE JOIN!

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=60064

My Website:
www.amberzade.net/


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BUTTERFLYGRACE's Photo BUTTERFLYGRACE Posts: 42,014
5/6/13 5:14 A

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I agree ... discuss the situation with management. But, you walk away with the feelings you chose to have. Be angry with the security person or be happy with the talk and your book. Life and happiness are soooooo much about the choices we make. Enjoy yours!! emoticon

~ Cathy

Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.
Philippians 4:6

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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,321
5/5/13 11:27 P

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I absolutely would have discussed the incident with store management, though. She was way out of line.

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 13,031
5/5/13 10:50 P

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The challenge at the bookstore was to let the security woman's problems be hers and not yours. The principal at the alternative high school where I taught before I retired had a great attitude: "Assume positive intent."

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


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MAJONES1225's Photo MAJONES1225 Posts: 6,855
5/5/13 10:32 P

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Well done. I had a nice walk today,with my regular workout

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still."


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AMBERZADE67's Photo AMBERZADE67 SparkPoints: (16,581)
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5/5/13 10:15 P

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I had a GREAT jog. I had a GREAT time at church. Then I went to the bookstore because I wanted to get the book that the speaker at church wrote.

I was hurrying because I didn't want them to run out. But I saw what I wanted right when I got into the store. It was on the table next to the lady who gave the lesson today. I picked up the book, happy that I had it in my hands before they ran out, and this security type woman, tall and wired for sound, comes and snatches it out of my hands.

"You have to pay for this," she says.

I'm confused. I'm in the church bookstore right? What did she THINK I was going to do with it.

Then the author stepped in and told the security lady that it was okay and I got the book back again.

Since I'd gone from happy to really freaking annoyed I took my book and browsed.

There was this BEAUTIFUL hand painted silk shrug. 250.00 - I wish .... I just wish...

ANYWAY .... I buy the book and then meander over to where the author is and that security woman snatches my book out of my hand again!! She starts flipping the pages.

I'm simulataneously pissed and aware that I am at church. So I'm mumbling, "Wha... what.... what are you .... huh??..."

Then I snatch my darn book back. I turn my back on the tall security lady and get my book signed.

It was just a little thing really but so very irritating.



I WALKED RIGHT OUT OF THE MACHINERY - Solsbury Park

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye."
~Antoine de St Exupery

A Sparkteam I started called Purposeful Positivity - PLEASE JOIN!

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=60064

My Website:
www.amberzade.net/


 current weight: 255.8 
296
258.25
220.5
182.75
145
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