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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,692
7/7/19 4:34 A

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100 More DWL - Day 86 Talk to the bear

I agree with Phyllis that I also do have wonderful people in my life to talk to and also need to ruminate over some items before they can be shared I think.

I had forgotten that I do have a soft toy in my bedside drawer with my 100 days book so perhaps I should remember to cuddle it more too if I am on my own especially when my MiL is asleep and that would help keep me out of the kitchen!

Edited by: DSJB9999 at: 7/7/2019 (04:34)
Donna
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YOUNG-AT-HEART's Photo YOUNG-AT-HEART Posts: 1,802
7/5/19 10:42 A

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emoticon DAY #86 emoticon

Day 86 - Talk to the bear

Strange as it sounds, you can actually use a teddy bear or other stuffed animal to help you heal. Instead of keeping thoughts and sadness inside, you can share them with this friend.

Today

• Choose a favorite stuffed animal to talk to about your thoughts and feelings.
• Plan a time when you can be alone and have a visit with this friend.
• Sit with the friend and talk through anything you wish. It might be related to a loss, but could also be about current frustrations or needs. Record how that went.



I’ve read what others have written about talking to a pet vs. talking to a stuffed animal:
-A pet interacts and gives feedback
-A stuffed animal is inanimate, gives no response, and when you talk you then listen to what is in your head rather than being distracted and soothed by your pet’s response

For the last 8 years I have been doing “Talk to the bear”, but instead of a stuffed animal teddy bear, I talk to my pet, my little girl pug. She knows all my secrets, my heartbreaks, my worries, everything... she sits with me, either beside me or on my lap. She looks at me while I am talking to her and tilts her head like she is trying to listen and understand... I hug her and she leans into me to get closer as I talk. When I cry, she understands I am upset and tries to lick my tears away. She tries to comfort me.



The best part about talking to my pet is she just listens...she does not judge what I am saying, she does not tell me you shouldn’t feel that way or say that, she doesn’t say I am too busy right now to listen...she is always there for me when I need her...I can always count on her!

Yes, there is interaction, but it works for me as I sort out my thoughts and worries and move forward with whatever shows up next in my life.

For fun, watch this to see the pug head tilt...my little girl looks like the pug on the left side of the movie...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=9uuqXX
T7VYo








~~~MARILYN ~~~
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The main reason my past diets failed--lack of motivation.
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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,887
7/1/19 11:12 A

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Excellent idea. I journal and that helps but this is something a little different. I can do this! The eye contact is mentioned and I think that's what would make a difference for me. I have Eeyore, who I absolutely love. But then I also talk to Jasmine, she's my furry friend and she's always supportive.



Babs
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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,408
7/1/19 10:30 A

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Day 86 Talk to the bear

Strange as it sounds, you can actually use a teddy bear or other stuffed animal to help you heal. Instead of keeping thoughts and sadness inside, you can share them with this friend.

Today

• Choose a favorite stuffed animal to talk to about your thoughts and feelings.
• Plan a time when you can be alone and have a visit with this friend.
• Sit with the friend and talk through anything you wish. It might be related to a loss, but could also be about current frustrations or needs. Record how that went.


• Choose a favorite stuffed animal to talk to about your thoughts and feelings.

I have a collection of frogs, stuffed, crystal, ceramic, images on t-shirts.. Frogs are amazing - their metamorphosis, their amphibiousness, their athletic grace and ability, their place in fables. If I would talk to a stuffie, it would be to one of my frogs.

• Plan a time when you can be alone and have a visit with this friend.

That is a good point, Gill, that stuffies differ from pets in that pets are animate and give feedback, while with stuffies, you talk and then listen to what is in your head - rather than be distracted ( and soothed ) by the response from pets or confidants.


• Sit with the friend and talk through anything you wish. It might be related to a loss, but could also be about current frustrations or needs. Record how that went.

This is confusing. I bought into talking to inanimates in order to listen to what is in my head. Oops, I see "the friend" isn't a person, it is the stuffie of choice.
I will add to this, talking to God, I think, parallels to talking to inanimates, because I do listen to what is in my head when I talk to God. An atheist might see a parallel to talking to an inanimate haha, I guess it crosses my mind that talking to a stuffie could be idolatry. Just musing, not being judgemental. These are the thoughts that crossed my mind on the subject of this day.

Edited by: JUNEPA at: 7/1/2019 (10:38)
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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,607
7/1/19 8:25 A

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Day #86 Talk To The Bear


I do have wonderful people in my life to talk to but some hurts need digested before they can be shared I think.


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,654
7/1/19 8:16 A

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DAY #86 TALK TO THE BEAR - ROUND 2

I still have my collection of stuffed animals, but they are strictly for the grandkids. I try not to be whiny or complaining. And, of course, we are taught from an early age that it is not polite to brag or focus on ourselves, but I think this lesson is in reference to bigger issues other than the day-to-day junk that irritates us. If you haven't noticed, I happen to be a very verbal type of person. I am also a rather contemplative type of person. Either way I rarely hold my thought and feelings inside.

I have plenty of ways to get my feelings/troubles/frustrations out there. Here is what works for me:

1. Prayer
2. Journaling
3. Talk to DH
4. Talk to DD
5. Talk to Spark Friends
6. Talk to girlfriends (I have 2 special friends that I can share anything with).

Holding your "stuff" inside never gets you anywhere good.

Sue

Michigan - EST

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,221
9/12/18 3:57 A

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Let us know how you get on, Babs.

I think the difference between talking to an animal or a stuffed bear is that the pet gives feedback based on it's own needs - it gets attention, petted, walked, fed, play etc. It makes us feel better mainly because it takes the focus away from us.

Being with an animal friend is healthy for us in many ways - blood pressure drops when we stroke a cat or dog (or chicken or horse!), they prevent feelings of isolation and loneliness, they encourage us to move!

But talking to an inanimate teddy is different. I remember, a long time ago, doing a Gestalt workshop where we had to talk to the chair! We sat with two chairs facing each other, and we were different people depending on which chair we sat on. This is a useful technique for tapping into what you'd really like to tell someone - a virtual conversation. When you go and sit in the other chair it's also surprising what comes out! What 'they'feel about what you have said, and their response.

Talking to the teddy is more like this because we talk.......then we listen to what comes up in our own heads.......the teddy is more like a sounding board and we come up with our own ideas & thoughts.

Yesterday my talk to the teddy brought me to the conclusion that I was feeling fragile. Today I found myself reading about the concept of "anti-fragile" which is quite different to "resilience ". This is interesting for me because I was raised to value being brave and strong.....to stand up to things, to persevere no matter what. The anti-fragile concept is about being more creative and flexible. Which leads me neatly into Day 87 - Grace Periods.


Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 9/12/2018 (04:00)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,654
9/11/18 5:33 P

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Day #86 Talk To The Bear

I do have a collection of Teddy Bears, but I can't say talking to them would be my thing. Journaling about my feelings has really been a big help when I need to unload or if I need to problem solve.

We do have a cat, Niesha, but she is not very friendly and she hates our dog so she keeps to the second level of our house except to eat and use her litter box. She seems to favor me with her attentions when we are in the same part of the house. She even follows me into the bathroom!

Our dog, Ollie, is our joy (and our pain at times). He is soft and cuddly and we are missing him very much while we are on vacation.

Our fur babies love us unconditionally!



I guess I don't have a picture of our cat, Niesha, on this computer.

Sue

Michigan - EST

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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,887
9/11/18 10:32 A

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This is something I will definitely try. Makes perfect sense to me. I've used my journal to getrid of frustrations, sadness, depression, difficulties - as well as share my happiness. Now I'll try this method too.

Babs
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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,593
9/11/18 8:40 A

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Yes! emoticon Furbabies are ready 24/7 with snuggles and love! emoticon

Buddy (Boxer, almost 8 years old)
Spanks (Jack Russell, 17)
Sophie (Calico, 17)



Every night the four of us pile into bed. emoticon Love them!

Cat, in Florida
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,088
9/11/18 8:11 A

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Day 86 Talk to the bear bit.ly/2NB2nqI
Reading Aloud to Pets: Sharpens Focus; Increases Vocabulary; Results in Greater Comprehension; Opportunity to Play; Improves Listening Skills bit.ly/2slAKuG bit.ly/1R26VAJ
Sickly 9# at shelter New home 12# Tail-up!
Buddy "purrs" when we carry him around while we talk.
5 Animals with Incredible Healing Powers bit.ly/2N6OEL5
Pet therapy: Animals as healers bit.ly/2wD5xCU

Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
bit.ly/BLC41
MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,607
9/11/18 7:10 A

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Day #86 Talk to the bear
Having a teddy bear, doll or other object to hug and talk to is a great idea.
It isn’t something I’ve thought of before but I can see how it would have been very helpful through the pain.
I do have a “prayer shawl” which gives me good hugs when I’m dealing with tough thoughts.

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
9/11/18 6:34 A

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Houdini, my big kitty, is definitely my teddy. His fur is thick, luxuriant and can absorb many tears, his purring can massage a damaged soul and his never ending love is always welcome.

GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,326
9/11/18 6:20 A

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Oh if dogs could talk.........my two are my best friends so I share everything with them. Yes, it does help, and yes I love stuffed toys and I have several. They do make me feel warm and fuzzy, so I can connect with our lesson today.

My sounding boards!


Edited by: GLORIAZ at: 9/11/2018 (06:28)
One day at a time!


Gloria.
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,221
9/11/18 5:31 A

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People do talk to their pets, don't they? Dogs especially I think - even strangers will talk to your dog!

Not everyone has a teddy bear. I am not a 'soft toy' kind of person............. or am I? I do love to look at them in shop windows, and have imagined buying one - especially the dogs!

But I do actually have one little teddy bear, which my son left behind when he moved out. I think his girl-friend (now wife) gave it to him as a present. It sits on my settee usually.

So, today, I made my coffee, sat my teddy bear on the shelf in my kitchen - and we sat there looking each other in the eye!

It was hard to start talking. I talked about how I feel about my anti-social neighbour, who woke me last night in the wee hours again. It was hard to talk..........I find it easier to write about things.

However, I did find that I was aware of processing my grief (of losing the peace I thought I'd found in my new flat) - and have moved beyond anger to a kind of sadness, and almost acceptance. I then found I was conflicted between resigning myself to the situation or complaining in order to get something done about it.

I told the teddy that although I was feeling a bit tired and ache-y from not getting enough sleep/rest, but the word that came up was 'fragile' - it makes me feel fragile. So it's harder to hold everything together.

This helped me see that keeping my everyday healthy routines going is really important - no matter how I feel - because it's the support system that stops me falling apart.


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,593
9/11/18 1:50 A

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Day 86 Talk to the bear




Cat, in Florida
Eastern Time Zone


Pounds lost in 2020......


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
5/8/18 10:21 P

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Day 86 Talk to the bear

Strange as it sounds, you can actually use a teddy bear or other stuffed animal to help you heal. Instead of keeping thoughts and sadness inside, you can share them with this friend.

Today

• Choose a favorite stuffed animal to talk to about your thoughts and feelings.
• Plan a time when you can be alone and have a visit with this friend.
• Sit with the friend and talk through anything you wish. It might be related to a loss, but could also be about current frustrations or needs. Record how that went.

Link to Day 85 www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
58x211
94x69021161


Link to Day 87

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
58x211
94x69021171


Edited by: CD13384562 at: 5/19/2018 (17:10)
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