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5/31/19 8:33 P

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Day 54 Please comfort me


• Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.
• Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.
• Write a plan about how you’ll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.


• Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.

Lately I have been overeating more out of gluttony than using food to feel comforted or secure. I think last month after a family gathering for my nephew's birthday party, even though it had been a fun and interesting gathering for me, I felt lack of connection with DH because he wasn't enjoying the party and after we got home, he went to do something in the barn and I ate a bunch of stuff, ice cream, pine nuts, dried cranberries, chocolate, ovaltine....

• Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.

I could have started by drinking something low-calorie, then thinking about how to resolve the situation.

• Write a plan about how you’ll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.

My go-to plan will be to drink something low calorie, either kombucha or silver tea or rooibos tea with a bit of milk. After that, I will take a bit a time to think over the situation and what could have been done better. After that, if I don't have the power or authority to fix it, I will find something on my to-do list to keep me busy.

PS I just went back to read the sparkmail, and I think another solution to needing comfort is getting it from people close to you, spouse, close friends, close sibs. I have all three as an available resource and I give comfort to them too, a hug, validation and a listening ear when they ask me. Connection with others, like-minded others, others who care about you, is a sweet and good solution to comfort needs.

One more thing - pets offer sweet comfort, my dog (black lab mixed with some other breeds), which is actually DD's dog but lives at my house, is my most devoted fan. Everywhere I go her eyes follow me. I have never had such a loyal and attached pet. Have you heard that motivational quote " Be the person your dog thinks you are" Totally applicable to mine. When I am feeling blue, time with her, playing, brushing, walking ... are a comfort.

Edited by: JUNEPA at: 6/1/2019 (18:03)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,679
5/27/19 11:33 A

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DAY #54 PLEASE COMFORT ME - ROUND 2

I thought I had done a post for this lesson, but I guess it was all in my head as I actually read it a few days ago! I have to agree with Phyllis: Like Don in Linda’s story I have trouble not turning to food out of frustration when my plans get all messed up. My Note To Self was "when nothing seems to go right". I hate days like that! I have mentioned before that we apparently only have about 15 minutes worth of willpower to use up before we need to replenish our "banks". On days when nothing seems to go right I can suck that willpower up quickly with no time to replenish my bank. I end up overwhelmed and turn to food for comfort to help me cope and take away the emotional pain in my life.

A RECENT TIME WHEN FOOD HELPED ME FEEL COMFORTED AND SECURE:

At the last minute this past Thursday I discovered I had to go to a Community Garden and finish taking the old dirt out of two huge flower pots in preparation for the flowers that were being delivered on Friday. When I got to the garden I discovered the weeds had decided to Spring forth and suddenly the task seemed overwhelming, but I dug in and did a couple hours worth of work.

Later that evening we were meeting people from our motorcycle group to place flags on the cemetery sites of Veterans in preparation for the Memorial Day weekend. The schematic map of who was buried where was a mess that we couldn't make heads or tails of. A task that was meant to bring joy only caused overwhelming frustration for me.

From there I was headed to a book club meeting at our library and I stopped at Wendi's for comfort food on the way!

WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE INSTEAD OF EATING:

1. Stopped for a Skinny Latte at the coffee shop I passed.
2. Stopped for a relaxing sit at our lovely city park across from the library.

FUTURE PLANS WHEN I NEED COMFORT:

Well, it will depend on where and when, but you can be assured that there will always be frustrations in our lives. However, I do know the tempting food will always be there and is not the solution to my frustrations.

"The key to managing your weight begins with healing your heart, not filling your spoon"!

I think if it’s my idea I can just go with whatever comes up but it’s not always that way.

Edited by: FUNLOVEN at: 5/27/2019 (12:03)
Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,706
5/19/19 4:52 P

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100 More DWL - Day 54 Please comfort me

Even if you’ve been an emotional eater for years, you aren't stuck with these negative patterns.

• Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.

Sadly although I enjoyed my aqua aerobics class for some silly reason I looked at someone I liked and considered how pretty she looked - maybe it was make up but when I looked in the mirror later I considered I was less attractive than I used to be. A crazy moment I think but it made me comfort myself with biscuits.

• Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.
I considered other things to do, to move away from the kitchen and went into the conservatory and the garden with a coffee but I still returned and continued to eat the biscuits feeling 'ugly' and 'worthless'.
Next I did try another thing put on blue eye make up which made me feel good. After tea I realised I was worth FAR MORE than my appearance and posted a message on Instagram and a good friend immediately posted that I was 'Inspiring' and that kind comment helped me to consider my worth. I also saw a programme where a lady said she had been bullied a lot and now considers 'she is enough' and tells herself this every day!

• Write a plan about how you’ll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.
I will consider to look at the messages I put on my phone to consider how my worth is so much more and soon complete that job description/evaluation showing how much i have achieved lately and for the past 17 months.

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,611
5/16/19 6:48 P

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Day 54 Please comfort me
Like Don in Linda’s story I have trouble not turning to food out of frustration when my plans get all messed up.
I think if it’s my idea I can just go with whatever comes up but it’s not always that way.


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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MADAMEJEANNE's Photo MADAMEJEANNE SparkPoints: (80,157)
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5/16/19 10:17 A

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Day 54
1.time recently when comforted with food
Yesterday I bought a mocha frappe when I have pneumonia
2. I could have bought a diet root beer that is caffeine free
Or made a diet drink at home with ice
3. Just go through the drive Thru if Iam sick or use my blender with a nice smoothie lo cal

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest unto your soul.


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YOUNG-AT-HEART's Photo YOUNG-AT-HEART Posts: 1,808
5/16/19 9:52 A

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emoticon DAY #54 emoticon

Day 54 - Please comfort me



Even if you’ve been an emotional eater for years, you aren't stuck with these negative patterns. Start by realizing the key to managing your weight begins with healing your heart, not filling your spoon. As you discover new ways to cope with your emotional needs, you’ll move toward a sense of peace with food - a feeling you may have forgotten existed.

Today



• Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.

I was stressed out and worried because of an on-going health problem that is taking a long time to get better and my recovery is slow. After a physical therapy session, I felt frustrated and tried to find comfort in a big bowl of ice cream. It comforted me so much that I had a second bowl. Although I felt comfort while eating, afterward I felt guilty because I over ate and really felt stuffed.

• Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.
-Called a friend
-Brushed my teeth
-Walked the dogs
-Have a cup of tea



• Write a plan about how you’ll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.

Walking the dogs outside in the fresh air and sunshine always makes me feel good and brings me comfort. Even a short 15-20 minute walk works wonders for me. We always see friendly neighbors and children that brings me happiness.





~~~MARILYN ~~~
Virginia - Eastern Time Zone
The worst thing to be without--hope.
The most effective sleeping pill--peace of mind.
The main reason my past diets failed--lack of motivation.
The greatest "shot in the arm"-- encouragement.


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
5/16/19 6:33 A

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Day 54 Please comfort me -

Alternatives to eating

Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,280
5/16/19 3:25 A

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The other day I was out walking and got really hungry. I started thinking about buying 'something' to eat......... but I didn't - I went home and made myself a tasty, healthy lunch. I felt comforted and secure because I'd fed myself well, managed to overcome my craving, and that boosted my self-confidence. Being in control is one of the things I identified recently as being a major 'need' - being in control to keep fear in check. By sticking to my menu plan I staying 'in control' and overcame the fear that I'd lose it!

I also have a future time when food will help me! Tomorrow I'm travelling for 5 hrs on the train to go and see family. I'm leaving early and I've already planned to take myself breakfast and coffee to have about 2 hrs into the journey. The train journey can be a trigger because there are refreshment trollies or buffet cars, and everyone is eating and drinking coffee and snacks. I've planned in advance to stay on-track (ie in control). I've promised myself lunch when I arrive at my destination. I have e-books on my Kindle, a puzzle book, and music on my phone.

For a general plan for needing comfort - it has to be different depending on where I am - but the usual plan of having a cup of tea and reading is good. If I need a lot of comforting I might sit in a cafe and have a coffee - maybe buy a magazine. Just not going into the food store might be a good rule to make! If I'm at home I can squeeze my teddy-bear!


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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CAROLYNINJOY1's Photo CAROLYNINJOY1 Posts: 12,173
9/9/18 3:04 A

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100 More DWL, Day 54 Please comfort me

Even if you’ve been an emotional eater for years, you aren't stuck with these negative patterns. Start by realizing the key to managing your weight begins with healing your heart, not filling your spoon. As you discover new ways to cope with your emotional needs, you’ll move toward a sense of peace with food—a feeling you may have forgotten existed.

Today

• Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.
• Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.
• Write a plan about how you’ll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.

I haven't been using food to comfort myself since November 2017. I'll be the first to admit that it is still a temptation, but right now my goal has a higher priority.

I've been smoothing lotion or essential oils on my body, doing jigsaw puzzles online, both making them and solving them. There are a few computer games I enjoy playing. I have started using different essential oils in a diffuser. I have one in the kitchen and one in the bedroom. I'll continue to experiment and learn which ones are the most relaxing.

I've been interacting with my daughter online and while I miss the sound of her voice, with the ear infection and cotton in my ear, I couldn't hear her anyway.

I've been journaling about feelings and that's one of the best keys to success for me.

I also enjoy coloring and it relaxes me a lot. I know it sounds strange but etymology fascinates me so I've been doing online research and it's been a lot of fun.

I don't remember the last time food comforted me. It's been almost a year now. I'm grateful for that. I have moved into a place where food is simply fuel and that's a great place to be. I feel good about breaking away from an old habit that no longer served me.

Joy is a Choice. Choose joy moment by moment.

When all else fails, persistence prevails.

Injoy:) Carolyn

(Arizona - Mountain Standard Time)

My personal story as a blog:
https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
ublic_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6
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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 28,106
8/22/18 11:35 A

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Today

• Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.
When I felt "less than" ignored, uninvited, unliked, ... ignored is one of the worst.
• Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.
remove myself from the toxic situation, write about it.
• Write a plan about how you’ll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.
I have been away from that for a few years now and I still write about it when I'm feeling down.

~ Renee ~

Turn your magic on.


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,679
8/14/18 8:14 A

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Day #54 Please Comfort Me

When I first read this lesson and Linda's example of Don who had nothing go as planned for himself one evening I thought this sounded my like Day #46 Disappointment. Her next example was about needing comfort as a child when you fall and get injured. I really didn't see that either of these scenarios related to me.

I wouldn't tell you that I think "If I eat something, maybe I'll feel better", but after reading everyone else's posts perhaps I need to rethink this. Linda always asks us to "recall a time when - - - ". This part is so hard! I just wrote a blog this morning about my difficulties with being FOCUSED. This lesson just helped me realize that I not only need to stay focused ahead of time to maintain healthy eating and fitness behaviors day after day, but I also need to be able to focus on the WHYs of my thinking when my focus goes astray!

My healthy eating and fitness have been lacking since last Wednesday. DH and I had a Day Trip planned to hopefully find a cabinet that he could refinish and use for a TV Stand. Several things seemed to go wrong right from the beginning. I didn't check the weather and discovered we were most likely going to face some rain (in an outside setting), I forgot to bring the measurements of our TV required for proper sizing of the Stand, DH started to dawdle looking at other things when we needed to keep moving in order to cover the shopping area, it did rain and the shopping stalls closed early, we were unexpectedly and nicely surprised when we ran into friends from home (2 hours away) and they asked us to join them for dinner - at a buffet which is a huge trigger for me! The day was fun, but my healthy eating plan was all down hill!

At the buffet I did go back up for seconds on the stuffing and fried chicken, but I think my biggest error was going to the desert table after I watched our friends enjoy the deserts they had picked out. I failed to keep my focus and "stay the course" of my eating plan for the day. My best bet would have been to thank our friends for the invite, but tell them we prefer to relax at a table and be waited on instead of serving ourselves at a buffet even if the table service does cost a bit more. The second best thing I could do is stay away from the deserts which are triggers for me.

After all is said and done here, I will need to try and pay attention to my thoughts the next time my eating goes off the rail. I have absolutely got to learn how to stop and ask myself why I am eating. Do I need to feel better about something? Do I need comforting? Linda tells us that "For many people, food takes cares of all types of needs". From Day #53 - What do I need?

Last, but not least, I need to remember that "THE KEY TO MANAGING MY WEIGHT BEGINS WITH HEALING MY HEART, NOT FILLING MY SPOON!




Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
8/11/18 5:27 A

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Thank you Cat!

SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,280
8/10/18 11:29 A

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Oh yes, freshly ground coffee! Mmmmmmmm....

Second post from me because I just got home from spending 4.5 hrs with a friend who always exhausts me emotionally! I did a short blog this morning about this friend . She IS a friend, but she uses her energy differently to me, and I always get exhausted! It's not a physical exhaustion.....it's energetic/emotional.

Anyway, after I she dropped me off I immediately thought of buying chocolate!

I didn't.

I walked up to the wool shop and bought a new ball of wool for the blanket I am making. I have my mug of tea, some music, my knitting. I may have a short nap too.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 8/10/2018 (11:29)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,893
8/10/18 9:16 A

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Oh how these 100 days have been making think, realize, find other solutions, accept what I have done and what I can do - so therapeutic!

This morning when I got up and made a pot of coffee I thought - I'll grind my beans rather than use the ground coffee. "I deserve it. It makes me happy." See - 'it makes me happy" and that's comforting.

Then I lit a few candles, since I get up early. So soothing, peaceful, calming. "Comforting."

Walking the dog in the early morning - calming because I hear the birds, other critters scampering through the leaves (I have woods way in my back yard).

Little things are comforting to me - meditation, reading, watching my GD dance, music. Doesn't have to be big.

So through those comforting things I am learning to replace my old 'comfort' of chips, breads, cookies, ice cream, etc.

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
8/10/18 9:11 A

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Day 54 Please comfort me - happens during long hot summers. I can attribute to many factors: #1 Heat and Hormones. I feel uncomfortable in/out or air conditining - stressful on my body with hypothyroidism. #2 Thinking too much while working on emotional eating. This new book (100 More days) is hard yet I know from experience that it will get easier next round.
~ Beware of Caving-Into-Cravings u.nu/b2jk

Alternatives to eating -- Heat wave is almost over...last few weeks take advantage of sweaty exercise then cool off with Water. Drinking from hose and getting wet while watering our garden. Walking in the rain - Rejuvenating!.
It's fun to give Buddy a bath. He shakes and runs around the house


Edited by: AURA18 at: 5/16/2019 (06:35)
Maribeth MN CT Black Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u hands u.nu/httpsunu7lag
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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,326
8/10/18 7:56 A

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Please comfort me

My list of when food comforted me is too long.......I love to eat........I find food comforting when I am stressed, happy, sad or nervous. If someone shares happiness, I think....let’s eat cake!
If someone shares a stressful situation, I think I need to eat something. I eat when I’m not hungry, so I need to replace that feeling of comfort with physical replacements.

Gill listed some great alternatives to eating. I will drink coffee, take a walk, play with my dogs, eat fruit, read all these positive posts, and remind myself that I have to change my thoughts. Also, I should lock my husbands treats and NO food in a closet......too tempting. emoticon

Edited by: GLORIAZ at: 8/10/2018 (08:02)
One day at a time!


Gloria.
EST Pennsylvania
2017 Spring 5% Challenge Tiger Monarchs
Biggest Loser Summer Challenge Golden Phoenix
Biggest Loser Fall Challenge Golden Phoenix 2017


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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,610
8/10/18 6:42 A

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Susan....



Cat, in Florida
Eastern Time Zone


Pounds lost in 2020......


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,611
8/10/18 6:02 A

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Day 54 Please comfort me


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time

20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
8/10/18 5:55 A

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Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.
• Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.
• Write a plan about how you’ll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.


It's a tough time of year for me. August and October are my most emotionally painful months with my wedding anniversary, Dad's birthday and brother in law's death in August, and my husband's death and birthday in October.

During the day,most of the time I am able to cope, at night, once asleep the nightmares begin. I thrash about, yell out, end up waking myself up repeatedly. Luckily or perhaps unluckily I never remember the dreams that cause this behaviour.

It was so bad last night that Tom opted to sleep in the living room.

Feeling completely exhausted after a full night of this, I came to the kitchen to find an invasion of ants around the coffeepot. After dispensing with those I started a fresh pot of coffee and turned to decide on what to have for breakfast.

Eating chocolate pop-tarts while reading Spark People is not a good weight loss strategy!

Yes, the chocolate is comforting. A bowl of oatmeal would also have been comforting and much healthier.

I don't want to resort to any type of sleep meds and I know this sleep issue will pass on it's own after next Friday.

I am going to make a label that says "Tom's" and put it on the pop tart box as a visual reminder those are for his consumption and not mine.

Things that will help me feel better:

Coffee or tea
Sparktime
Call my friend and schedule a dinner one night next week
Reach out to my sister who shares 2 of those 3 August things
A walk after dinner if the weather permits


CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,610
8/10/18 5:33 A

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Day 54 Please comfort me







Cat, in Florida
Eastern Time Zone


Pounds lost in 2020......


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,280
8/10/18 2:18 A

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• Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.
• Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.
• Write a plan about how you’ll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.

On Wednesday we were short-staffed at work, which meant a lot more pressure was piled onto the two of us who had to cope. We both also felt we were not willing to stay for three more hours after our shift ended. Both feeling hacked off and tired. We did manage to get someone to come in and cover a couple of hours. So when I left at 3.30pm I had all these feelings in my blood!

Tired.
Hacked off.
Resentful.

I went to the shop & got the things on my shopping list - then added a 150g bag of sweet chilli flavoured crisps. They were in a pink packet with a kind of 1940's illustration of a glamourous, smiling woman!

I guess that image signalled to my brain a promise of how I could feel if I ate those crisps.

I got home. Made a big mug of strong tea. Poured out a portion of those crisps into a bowl. Laid on the sitting room carpet with tea, crisps, book.

I read. I drank tea. I crunched my way through those crisps and went back to refill my bowl - twice. Yes. Basically I are the whole bagful and called it 'Dinner'!!!

It is hard to see what I could have done instead - the tea, laying on the carpet reading are already two of my strategies! I tripped myself up at the shopping stage.

I am successful most of the time, and already have a good list of 'insteads', but next time I am in that exact-same situation, I will look at the crisps and say "no!" Then I will look for something else to bring home - non-edible! A magazine or quiz book. Flowers. A new notebook. A greetings card to send to a friend. A bath treat. A DVD. (Depends how much I can afford - the card is quite a good idea - I could even send it to myself to say "well done!"
emoticon


Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 8/10/2018 (03:42)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
5/8/18 9:55 P

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Day 54 Please comfort me

Even if you’ve been an emotional eater for years, you aren't stuck with these negative patterns. Start by realizing the key to managing your weight begins with healing your heart, not filling your spoon. As you discover new ways to cope with your emotional needs, you’ll move toward a sense of peace with food—a feeling you may have forgotten existed.

Today

• Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.
• Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.
• Write a plan about how you’ll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.

Link to day 53
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
58x211
94x69021019


Link to day 55
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
58x211
94x69021026


Edited by: CD13384562 at: 5/12/2018 (13:04)
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