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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,926
1/18/20 10:47 A

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DAY #10 DO IT IN FEAR

Linda wants us to write about a time when fear overtook our thought, but I can't say that I have many fears in my life. In my last review I addressed my fears as they applied to interpersonal skills with other people. This is a difficult area for me and causes me a lot of anxiety. Although I have made progress I still make blunders.

On lesson Day 3 What If I Fail, we talked about fear. Many of us FEARED the possibility of regaining the weight we had lost. Linda reminds us that it takes COURAGE to stay on a diet and conquer emotional eating and that courage is not something that someone can give you. It requires you to build it into your day yourself.

Facing our fears is like when we find ourselves thinking - UGH! I just can't do this today. Somehow we manage to muster up our COURAGE, face the challenge, put one step in front of the other, and do it anyway.

I CAN & I WILL!

Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,689
1/18/20 8:53 A

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Day 10 Do It in the Fear - Stay on plan all day (NEE - close kitchen at 7pm)
- one step - one day at a time -
Face Fears - *food* and cravings are everywhere I go!
u.nu/-ejl
emoticon "When you face a tough time, remind yourself to reach for your courage and do it in the fear. Then spend 20 seconds (or longer) being strong against the challenge you are facing."
emoticon "Courage represents a critical tool in (Maribeth's) efforts to stay on a diet or conquer emotional eating."~ Linda
Reviewing Days 1-10 emoticon - Start Today
Overcome failed attempts minor slips - Write out Plan -
Willpower or Wait - cravings Willpass - Restart now (not Monday) -
Change (be flexible) - Set NOW Goals - Plan A & B no C - - - Do it in fear
Compassion, Courage and Common Sense u.nu/4r21 thesimplicityofwellness.com/

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/19/2020 (07:43)
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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,421
1/17/20 10:07 P

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The last two times on this thread I wrote about a huge time in my life - the years of my Mom's failing health, then sickness, then death and the huge weight of settling her estate. I still count those years as the very most stressful and fearful time of my life. Making big decisions has always been scary for me. I'm the world's best at second guessing myself.

Now my fears fall along the same lines....future health and financial decisions and eventually being on my own (not a sure thing, but DH is older than I). The fear of not leaving anything positive for my kids to remember me by....the fear of becoming a burden to the kids if my health fails.

Steps to take? Just trying my best to be healthy and on top of dr. visits and tests, keeping good financial records, systematically de-cluttering the house and keeping it in good shape.... and planning fun occasions with my grown sons.


Paula -- Waco, TX area
CST zone

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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,549
1/17/20 6:54 P

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Day 10 - Do it in the Fear

My greatest fear in this healthy journey is that no matter what I do.....I cannot positively affect my health.

I don't dwell on that except sometimes in the dead of a sleepless night but I know that fear is there. Will my MG progress to the point that I am unable to be independent, bedridden, unable to swallow, etc. No one can answer those questions and I certainly do not need to be reacting to that fear so......I am concentrating on what I can do. When those thoughts come I remind myself that healthy eating and exercise cannot harm me. I just need to go forward with my plans and hope that I am doing some good. So that is what I will do even though there are days when I just want to throw up my hands and say, "It is no use trying!"

That is just not me though so try I will....try and do, again and again and again.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,941
1/17/20 4:12 P

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Day 10 - Do it in the fear

Unfortunately and unadmirablely, I am not subject to fear that stops me from acting, I am more subject to laziness that can grow and grow until I are quite unable to shift from the spot. So I will change my post to Do it despite laziness

1. Recall a time when laziness took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.

That it takes too much effort, I don't want to have spells of being hungry, it is easier to go with the flow than be always mindful - rationalized by ... I have above average fitness and am closer to ideal weight than most people my age.

2. What did you do to get past the laziness? Make a list of steps you took.

Remember that in menopause, I risk losing muscle and bone and I risk gaining weight if I am not mindful.
Steps
Jump into my work and goals in spite of my laziness.
Enjoy the rewards of fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence.
Enjoy the rewards of self-respect and feeling good about putting effort into a good cause rather than feel shame of being idle.

3. Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the laziness.”

Here goes the broken record

I know what works - DO what works - make a plan the night before, march through the plan
Stick to the plan

Seeing as others related fears not about getting to goal weight, I can say I think my biggest fear, that can paralyze me and make me feel awful and ineffective and useless is my fear of social situations that turn into humiliating gaffes because I am obtuse to social clues.
And what I do about it is avoid social situations where that is likely to happen. Luckily I have some good friends so am not a total social loner.

Edited by: JUNEPA at: 1/17/2020 (16:41)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,009
1/17/20 12:40 P

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emoticon


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,497
1/17/20 12:25 P

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Day #10 - Do it in the fear

I feel another group hug is in order for the courageous and honest comments written below by all of you!

I have a saying which has got me through some tough and painful times...
"No matter what you say and do to me, I am still a worthwhile person."

1. Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Done.

2. What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
Sat in a quiet place; listed my strengths; looked at what I could change and converted that into a series of small steps - achievable daily, weekly.
Wrote my goal on slips of paper I could tuck in my bag, diary, etc.
Set out to add ticks to my personal chart. Even one tick is power and progress.
Strategic ignoring of 'put-downs' and bad influences can be hard but is extremely useful.

3. Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”
Personally, I had two choices. I could allow 'the fear' to affect my life negatively, which would mean it winning and I would end up with a series of unhappy and unfulfilled days - or -
I could move forward.
The fear still exists but I know I can do this. I am that worthwhile person.

Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

Delighted to be a 'Determined Daisy'.
'Defeat is a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.'



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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,009
1/17/20 11:40 A

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Today while I was at work, I had to work through my lunch-time.......... and wait to eat until almost 2 pm. I was very hungry. But I thought to myself - do it in the fear - meaning, stick with the feeling of hunger and just wait. I got a bit of headache, but I managed to get to my lunch-box without adding anything like crisps or sweets because I was 'starving'! I made a cup of tea, sat down with my lunch - and felt good that I'd made it through.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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THETROUT's Photo THETROUT Posts: 2,004
1/17/20 11:26 A

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Day #10 - Do it in the fear

1. Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.
I'm currently fearful of gaining weight back that I lose.

2. What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
I don't know that I'm really past the fear. But I've learned from many people on Sparkpeople that weight loss is a long term plan, not a short term goal. Over the holidays I was back and forth with being on plan. At the end of the month, I had not gained weight. I'm purposefully losing weight slowly to give my body time to adjust. The last time I was at my current weight, I had strong cravings, gave in to them, gained the weight back. So I guess losing it slowly is a step I'm taking to prevent gaining it back.

3. Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”
Get back to weight and exercise plan if I stumble around some. I can do it. I'm doing that now.
Get back to 20 minutes of walking each day.

Janet in Georgia

Just using SP suggested calorie/protein/carb range

Perfection is not the Goal; Slow and Steady wins the race


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OHMEMEME's Photo OHMEMEME Posts: 1,057
1/17/20 9:10 A

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Day #10 Do it in the fear

I am at a loss with this one this morning...I suppose I may be a very trusting person! Except when it comes to trusting myself perhaps! My biggest fear is failure. Failing to stay in control food wise. Fear of the unhappiness of others, perhaps. Ouchy!

I don’t like snakes but if I have a shovel or weapon I’ll face one head on.
In my head I think if I had a really good guide to jump with I may jump from the side of a mountain, hang gliding. Foremost, I think of the adventure, then the fear seeps in.
Fear of family illness...being incapacitated in any way. Suffering.
I do have fears. Too deep.

But today, I do it in the fear - Plan my day of Food intertwined with lots of activity. I do fear that I’ll get busy and stressed and eat whatever, but I do not have to fear. I have the food opportunities to make my day successful. If I fail it’s because I choose to not follow the plan. If others stress me, it’s because I allowed it. Stay strong in the fear!
Hard is not really that hard! Right?
Sending courage to the team!



A decision made about how much to weigh is a decision made on how to live. (KANOE) I have decided.


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,050
1/17/20 7:18 A

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Day #10 Do it in the fear
Recall when fear took over my thoughts:
During my entire life I was afraid of being in water over my head.
Because I was so afraid, I took all our children to the Y for swim classes to stop the pattern.

What did I do to get past the fear?
I signed up for a Fall swim class at local University (almost 40 years old)
I attended every class even when the weather turned cold
I practiced stepping off the edge using the stairs in our house
The final class- I stepped off the high dive (scared to death) and have never forgotten the feeling of accomplishment!

Identify places in my life now where I can “do it in the fear”:
Determined to go to the unknown of a small house in a new neighborhood after being in the same house for 50 years!
Leaving lots of “stuff” behind
Not turn to food in the frustration of it all

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,009
1/17/20 2:05 A

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I am aware of a lot of fear/anxiety generally. That's probably why I seek out peace and quiet - alone-time where nothing can touch me!

I can list a whole host of fearful food-related things - I cannot have a packet of cookies or a bar of chocolate in my house without feeling fearful that I'll lose control and eat the whole lot. It seems ridiculous to admit to be 'afraid' of food items! I'm afraid of the power they have over my brain. Like an addict - it's a strong, strong, dangerous feeling.

However, when I tell myself 'no' and manage to NOT eat cookies and chocolate, I feel much better about myself.

In fact, recently, I've noticed that cookies and chocolate, and crisps/chips have not appeared so often in my craving list - or my weekend 'treat' list.............

I've also started really considering joining the gym. In fact, I think I'll do that today - do it 'in the fear'.

Jeez - I just scrolled back through this thread and found my 'join a gym' thought cropping up regularly! Here's what I wrote in 2018

"Flippin' heck - I just made a phone call about joining the gym! I think I need to have a cup of tea and get my knitting out for a while just to calm down again!"

So, fear must have got in my way every time before! This time I will do better.


Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 1/17/2020 (02:07)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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AMYBELLES's Photo AMYBELLES Posts: 14,065
3/18/19 5:35 P

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Courage represents a critical tool in your efforts to stay on a diet or conquer emotional eating. But unlike some new food plan or exercise routine, you can't pack courage neatly into a self-help book. Instead, you have to build it yourself and create ways to use it in your day.

Courage starts with the words you say to yourself. When you face a tough time, remind yourself to reach for your courage and do it in the fear. Then spend twenty seconds being strong against the challenge you are facing.

Today...

* Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts.

Two of my greatest fears were probably being scared for my son’s alcohol addiction, and also when I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year.

*What did you do to get past the fear?
I prayed a lot and used meditation to calm my mind.
I shared my fears and got support from family, friends, and support groups.
I realized I had to move forward, but take one day at a time and try to find joy and things to be grateful for.

*Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”
Sign up to do volunteer work or join a new exercise class or start a new hobby.

**~Amy~**
Butterfly Buddies
May A&I BSG Challenge Team

~The Villages, Florida
EST



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YOUNG-AT-HEART's Photo YOUNG-AT-HEART Posts: 2,066
3/17/19 11:56 A

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At the end of every 10 days, I will summarize the topics I’ve worked on and write a very short comment about what I’ve learned and want to remember.

DAYS 1-10 SUMMARY

1. Others have done it (Look at other’s success stories, I can do this, too!)
2. I’ll start tomorrow (I will start now and I’ll take it one day at a time)
3. What if I fail? (I will not fail as long as I keep living my healthy lifestyle)
4. Today I’m on my plan (Just keep following my “NOW” Plan)
5. No willpower (I will keep stress to a minimum, keep willpower at maximum)
6. Monday diet (Make weekend plan-don’t over indulge and have to start again on Monday)
7. Not willing to change (just take one small step forward)
8. Set now goals (I will make a plan of 3 things to do each day)
9. When to use plan B (Have my plan and a backup plan - there is no plan C)
10. Do it in the fear (Have no fear, have courage, you can do this)

~~~MARILYN ~~~
Virginia - Eastern Time Zone
The worst thing to be without--hope.
The most effective sleeping pill--peace of mind.
The main reason my past diets failed--lack of motivation.
The greatest "shot in the arm"-- encouragement.


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,689
3/17/19 4:21 A

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Day 10 - Face Fears - *food* and cravings are everywhere I go!
Fear turned into Challenge - resist cravings or trigger foods
Look and talk positively emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Takes courage to Walk Away bit.ly/2KhV7Sj

First breath and identify - Thirsty? Hungry? Emotional? Tied?
Usually I can drink water to resist cravings

~ To weaken intensity and frequency of cravings *** stop giving in to them

~ When I experience a craving because I see or smell food, move trigger foods to an inconvenient place, get rid of it or remove myself from the scene

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/19/2020 (07:42)
Maribeth MN CT Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u u.nu/httpsunu7lag u.nu/43qj2
JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,941
3/16/19 4:33 P

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Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.

I used to be afraid of public speaking


What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.

Time helped me with this. I read that fear of public speaking is the third most common fear after fear of death and fear of heights, but it decreases after about age 40 as we have more depth of knowledge relative to our audience and more social skills due to more experience in dealing with people. That was the case with me. More confidence that comes with life experience. I spoke at my son's wedding a couple of months ago, my sister asked me if I was nervous, I said no but I would have been if I had been asked to say something at her wedding 35 years ago.


Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”

In other areas, I make a plan, then take the first step, then adjust to the conditions at hand.
Other examples, I used to not like going to women only get-togethers and events, because I find a lot of women are catty and competitive, growing up I used to hang around with the boys and play sports. Now that I am a mother, I have more things in common to talk about and enjoy in a women's group and I can ignore the rest if it happens.

I used to not want to go to the gym because I thought I would have to dress to different from how I usually dress to go there, but found out, most people don't really care plus I got some comfortable shorts and t-shirts that are fine, even if I don't have the whole track suit and fad running shoes etc.

I used to not want to run in a competitive race because I was a below average runner when I was young although I excelled at team sports. I found out that running is a great way to stay in shape with minimal equipment and doesn't require coordinating practicing and competing on a team. Plus as a bonus, I am not a below average runner any more for my age group, mostly because there are a lot less runners in my over 60 age group

Fears that keep me from reaching my health goals.

One is quite ridiculous when articulated, but lingers in my mind.
I am afraid of getting overzealous about losing weight and becoming anorexic and stressing my health. It is ridiculous because I have never been below 120 since I was 12 and seldom been under 125 pounds. I am 5'4"

Another is fear of maintaining a healthy and fit weight once I get to my ideal weight (118).
Also an amusing fear as I haven't gotten to my ideal weight since I started trying to get there since after my last child was born 25 years ago.

I believe in the last 10 years I have made healthy lifestyle habits and improved my fitness. There are always new variables that come up and need to be managed. Menopause is a pain in how much slower my metabolism is and how much less I have to eat just to not gain weight. I am thankful for good health and hope I will get to my ideal weight and stay there. I am not going to stop trying and small, gradual healthy lifestyle improvements and fitness are the rewards.

Edited by: JUNEPA at: 3/16/2019 (17:01)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,009
3/16/19 1:26 P

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It doesn't sound sappy at all, Sue. I think you have written a very honest blog which is really helpful and probably resonates with many of us.


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,926
3/16/19 11:39 A

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DAY #10 DO IT IN FEAR

I would tell you that I am not a person who lives in fear. I have even had people say to me in difficult situations "Weren't you afraid at all? You looked to calm and relaxed." My actions frequently reflect a person of confidence without fear, but that is just a false front some times. I seem to be able to overcome fears when I'm challenged externally. I know I am a capable person. I believe in the mantra "What happens in life was meant to be".

My fears all live internally within me and most have little to do with food. Despite appearing courageous on the outside, I lack self-esteem on the inside and this does not always come out of me in very nice ways. I fear people will not like me. I fear I will say the wrong thing. I fear I will not appear kind and loving and gentle and patient and compassionate to others (probably because I don't always feel that way).

Knowing this about myself gives me insight to the things I need to change about me. The change is slow and I make mistakes, but I keep trying to be a better person. Some of the steps I have taken are:

1. Increasing my faith in God's plan for me.
2. Journaling about my experiences and fears to evaluate the situation without emotion. The acronym that Gill gave us is great - FEAR = False Evidence About Reality.
3. Writing in my Gratitude Journal daily.
4. Kudos to the Embracing the Weight Loss Journey team.
5. Releasing a lot of the expectations I have of people and/or situations.
6. My mantra : YOU ARE O.K. JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

Where I am right now is taking an action step that I hope will fill my emotional bucket -

Every day I find something complimentary and/or positive to say about another person I encounter so that hopefully they will know how important they are to me and this world.

I know this post sounds rather sappy. Thinks for "listening".

Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,327
3/16/19 9:17 A

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As I just read my last comment on day 10 I realized I am still just as fearful. Today I am going to try to change and when I think “what if”, I will thank God for helping me overcome my fear. I know that when I have tried to take on something new, I am glad that I did. I need to remember that. emoticon

emoticon

One day at a time!


Gloria.
EST Pennsylvania
2017 Spring 5% Challenge Tiger Monarchs
Biggest Loser Summer Challenge Golden Phoenix
Biggest Loser Fall Challenge Golden Phoenix 2017


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BARBARAJ73's Photo BARBARAJ73 Posts: 1,220
3/16/19 9:08 A

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Do it in the fear

Not sure I would classify very many of my life experiences and reactions as true fear... in those rare cases, you fall back on your courage, instincts, and in some cases, training or experience.

As for worry and hesitation, three things come to mind: deep breaths, baby steps, and that famous ad slogan... just do it.

Barbara EST
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,009
3/16/19 7:04 A

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Like most of us, I think, I have faced several fearful situations in my life. I am grateful not to live in a conflict-zone, I cannot imagine what it's like to be in a continual state of fear...............

However, when I think back to when I've dealt with a fearful situation, the thing that got me out of it, through it, safely out the other side was always my quick-thinking, my courage, and my action.

After reading this Day's lesson - I happened to come across a video on YouTube about FEAR. I will link to it here, but it won't be everyone's cup of tea for sure. But it was right for me - and I was stunned that I came across it 'accidentally'.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDIw
ewzb5uE&am
p;t=33s

Forever Expanding And Rising

The way I overcome my fear is through action.

If it's an emergency - I'll act immediately - I'm a great fire-fighter!

If it's not an actual emergency, I might let it overwhelm me for a while - until I'm ready to act. It's always a relief to act.

Doing something physical will always dissolve stress held in the body. It's worth moving just to feel better, and it usually reduces the fear too. I used to wonder if going for a walk was just escaping from the problem ie procrastinating. In some ways, I suppose it is - but it's the response I can manage at that moment in time.

Action is how I deal with my weight-loss/maintenance journey, and my fitness quest. I take action - go to the yoga class, plan the menus, go for a run, blog on Spark People, start a new challenge, buy a fitness band!

emoticon

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 3/16/2019 (13:18)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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NOCALORIES's Photo NOCALORIES Posts: 21,865
3/15/19 8:20 P

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Everyday is an opportunity for me to live with knowing I am blessed with what I need to know to be successful.

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YOUNG-AT-HEART's Photo YOUNG-AT-HEART Posts: 2,066
3/15/19 8:15 P

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Day #10 - Do It in the Fear





When you face a tough time, remind yourself to reach for your courage and do it in the fear. Then spend twenty seconds being strong against the challenge you are facing.

Today

Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below. What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took. Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”

Today’s subject makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. It’s hard for me to write about the areas of fear in my life outside the work I’m doing here in SparkPeople. When I think about fear and courage and put it in the context of living my new healthy lifestyle, then the fear is regaining the 90 pounds that I have lost. I have never lost that much weight before.

Since I have a history of being a yo-yo dieter and gaining & losing & regaining weight many, many times over the years, that fear/worry is there for me. Since I started maintaining my current weight at a +/- 3 pound range of my center weight, I’m learning how to handle the weight fluctuations. So, it looks like I am living what was asked of us about identifying where you can “do it in the fear”.



Realistically, I know that every day is a new challenge with choices to make. But, as long as I continue to follow my healthy nutrition and exercise plans and living the good life changes I’ve incorporated into my daily schedule. I know that .... I CAN DO IT!

Here are some thoughts I liked.
















On the lighter side...






Edited by: YOUNG-AT-HEART at: 3/15/2019 (23:24)
~~~MARILYN ~~~
Virginia - Eastern Time Zone
The worst thing to be without--hope.
The most effective sleeping pill--peace of mind.
The main reason my past diets failed--lack of motivation.
The greatest "shot in the arm"-- encouragement.


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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,421
3/15/19 7:39 P

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It is so interesting to go back and read what I've written the first time through. I still feel that my biggest fear was the knowledge that I was going to have to deal with settling my Mom's estate and all the decisions and dealings that went along with it. As my Mom got older and more dependent on me, I would wake at 3 in the morning with it pressing down on me. It was tremendously stressful, and since I've already written about it, I won't repeat myself. It was a necessity to get past the fear of failing simply because there were a ton of matters that had to be dealt with, and I was the one who had to do them. And it took a long time, but I kept at it and bit by bit it got done.

Not sure now where I can "do it in the fear". But I do feel confident now that I can deal with whatever comes my way.

Paula -- Waco, TX area
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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,802
3/15/19 3:03 P

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100 More DWL - Day 10 Do It in the Fear

I started exercise classes and was unsure and a bit fearful but did it in the fear and am SO GLAD that I did!
Another fantastic thing I was afraid of walking in to the Slimming World room the first time, I was nervous but sure it was the best club for me so I knew I had to do it.

Last year I was scared going to Heathrow with my hubbie and daughter on the train from Preston to Euston but had no choice as we had it booked, I tried not to share my feelings with the others and succeeded. We are going again this year and I plan/hope not to feel the fear as much this year. I have rationalised it as much as possible and am trying to look forward to 3 nights away!

I forgot one thing I do worry about sometimes alot is my Multiple Sclerosis, so far I am luckier than many and if I read stories of other people I worry I could get the same complaints and then I try to think I may not too. Need to read the web site u suggested Gill. emoticon emoticon

Edited by: DSJB9999 at: 3/16/2019 (03:24)
Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

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ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,553
3/15/19 11:53 A

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Day 10 - Do it in the fear


1. Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in your notebook.
I am not comfortable sharing this here. I wrote it in my journal.

2. What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
Tools I have and do use for anxiety/fear.
* Affirmations
* Breathing exercises
* Tapping

3. Identify places in your life now where you can "do it in the fear."
Again, too close for comfort. I am working on doing something everyday that "scares" me, to gain confidence.




Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 3/15/2019 (11:54)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


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SUSMANNIE's Photo SUSMANNIE Posts: 993
3/15/19 10:57 A

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Day 10 - Do it in the fear

When you face a tough time, remind yourself to reach for your courage and do it in the fear. Then spend twenty seconds being strong against the challenge you are facing.

1. Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.

Dealing with feeling overwhelmed and feeling like a rat on a treadmill, a recurring theme for me. Fearful of not being able to cope. Worry about being able to control my stress level.

2. What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
Clearly I need to learn stress management, time management. I have some work to do.


3. Identify places in your life now where you can "do it in the fear."
I have a yoga DVD I want to do. Maybe meditation would help. I don’t know.

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 3/15/2019 (11:00)
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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,967
3/15/19 9:45 A

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Another 'Fear' I used to have (thank goodness 'used to' have) was if I ate something - or ate too much of something - that was definitely not on my program/unhealthy someone would see me do that. They would consider me a failure, or at least that's what I thought. I always put it on me - yes, there's anxiety for you. Low self esteem. "Fear" of failure. I set myself up for failure time and time again.

I am glad for the weekend. I need to focus on all of the lessons from this week, especially today's lesson.

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,549
3/15/19 8:15 A

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Day 10 Do it in the Fear

When I'm going through a hard time and the days or weeks ahead are challenging....I tell myself, "Head down, shoulder to the day". Being stressed and fearful can take you down a hard path. What gets me through is focusing on the necessary things at that moment, day, week, month, or whatever.

I try always to remind myself to protect my program.....to completely abandon my healthy goals because of life's circumstances would just render me less able to cope. You need strength and energy to take on life's stresses.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

Eastern Standard Time




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CAROLYNINJOY1's Photo CAROLYNINJOY1 Posts: 12,173
6/29/18 1:36 P

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100 More DWL- Day 10 - Do It in the Fear

When you face a tough time, remind yourself to reach for your courage and do it in the fear. Then spend twenty seconds being strong against the challenge you are facing.

Today

Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.

It's not so much fear that has taken over my thoughts but having insomnia attacks the last few weeks. I attempt to rest when I can, take naps if I must and just do what I can do to permit my body to unwind.

I'm not a fearful person so haven't had the need to make a plan to get past it. Should I develop a fear, I'll just deal with it as I do everything else in my life and say: God's got it.

What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”

Days 1-10 completed!

You’ve come this far in your 100 days… Don’t stop now. If you’re struggling to stick with it, push yourself to finish one more day. You’ll immediately be another day closer to achieving your weight-loss goals. Just do one more day!

Joy is a Choice. Choose joy moment by moment.

When all else fails, persistence prevails.

Injoy:) Carolyn

(Arizona - Mountain Standard Time)

My personal story as a blog:
https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 28,629
6/29/18 10:10 A

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Day 10 - Do It in the Fear

When you face a tough time, remind yourself to reach for your courage and do it in the fear. Then spend twenty seconds being strong against the challenge you are facing.

Today

Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.
~When my son was in a terrible car wreck.
~When I got bad results on some medical tests.
~When I could not contact my children at various times and they should have been home.

What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
~I took a deep breath, I spoke to myself in positive words, then I spoke to my son and knew that he was going to be alright even though he was badly hurt.
~Again, positive self-talk and took actions to correct my health, including drastically changing the way I eat, exercising like I should, reading a lot of information on health.
~I was consistent in trying to contact them either on their phone, their friends' phones or their friends' parents. Pretty much every time I was able to finally contact them and found out they were in an area with no service or a dead battery or they'd call me on their friends' phone

Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”
~Fearing I might throw in the towel during the holidays... I can press on and remain consistent. I just need to remember, in detail, why I'm doing this now... it's not just to lose weight and look better any more, although that is still part of it. :)
~Some stressful situations have come up at work that I will just have to deal with. I would normally eat through the stress, this time, NO. I will write, talk to myself positively, and press on, all the while keeping my eyes open for another job.


Days 1-10 completed!


You’ve come this far in your 100 days… Don’t stop now. If you’re struggling to stick with it, push yourself to finish one more day. You’ll immediately be another day closer to achieving your weight-loss goals. Just do one more day!

Done!


~ Renee ~


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DEEGIRL50's Photo DEEGIRL50 Posts: 21,327
6/28/18 2:27 P

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You are all brave women! I know because it was very brave of you to share your stories.

Day 10 - Do It In Fear - 06/28/18

Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.

Last summer, my sisters and I were signed up to do a 20 mile bicycle ride. I procrastinated and did not train. I've done many rides, but this would have been the farthest. I made myself sick just worrying about it. I ended up backing out. My sisters did the ride without me and had so much fun! Now, I use this episode to remind myself that I'll regret it more if I don't participate.

When it comes to weight loss, I fear not having my favorite foods. I fear trying new healthier foods. I fear handling social occasions without overeating. I fear cravings. I fear that I will give up and go back to my old ways.

What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
I'll never know unless I try.
Hunger doesn't hurt me.
I can have any food in moderation.
What do you want more?
Review my reasons for wanting to lose weight.

Remember other times when I have been successful. I've done it in the past, I can do it again. Others have done it, so can I.


Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”

When cravings hit, I can wait them out.
Instead of feeling like "I can't have that"... say "I can have it, but I don't want to eat it."
First bite taste best. Have a small amount and give away the rest.
Instead of thinking about the unhealthy foods, switch my thoughts to healthier options.


Dee
(Wisconsin - Central Standard Time)

"I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep on dancing." ~Unknown Author

Hey Pretty Girl, Let's Build Some Dreams.
~Kip Moore Song


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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,421
6/27/18 10:08 P

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Day 10 - Do It in the Fear

When you face a tough time, remind yourself to reach for your courage and do it in the fear. Then spend twenty seconds being strong against the challenge you are facing.

Like many of you have shared, anxiety and shyness have been the source of much of my fear. I've always been afraid of making decisions that "grownups" make with things like finances, legal matters, etc. I've been terrified of seeming ignorant. Making phone calls sometimes gets my heart racing. Silly, I know. Recently (the past 2 years) I've had to deal with making decisions through my Mom's 3 month battle with brain cancer, then being the executor of her estate and finally the sale of her house. All this was quite involved, and so much stuff to figure out the right path to take. It has literally been two years of anxiety and fear that I was not doing everything correctly -- plus dealing with unhelpful and unappreciative family. I finally closed on her house and property the first of June and it's a tremendous relief.

What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
I approached it step by step. Tackled the legal and financial stuff first -- quite involved -- then worked for months on clearing her house and multiple buildings, handled the estate sale. Hired workers to paint and spruce things up. Dealt with appraisers, real estate agent, prospective buyers etc. This was all so far out of my comfort zone, but it had to be done and it has definitely made me stronger.

Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”
I still feel very shaky making financial decisions, but I do what has to be done.
emoticon This is totally off the wall, but now that this huge executor task has been accomplished, I'm thinking about rewarding myself using some of the inheritance. It's something I've thought about doing for several years, but have also been afraid to do....cosmetic surgery. It has been one of those things I never really did think I'd follow through on. When I had my annual physical a couple weeks ago I brought up the topic to my dr.'s nurse -- just to see if she had heard anyone mention a good doctor. That got the ball rolling. And I was brave enough to actually call the Dallas surgeon that was highly recommended. So many fearful things here! Driving in Dallas is right up there! I have a consultation mid-July. I'm actually going to pursue this! Yes, I'm scared! But excited, too!
Asking my doctor's nurse was the first step. Had I not mentioned anything, I'd still be just thinking about it. Getting the recommendation made the next step easier.

Paula -- Waco, TX area
CST zone

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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN Posts: 7,976
6/27/18 6:32 P

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*Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.
WOW … I was in total fear when hubby had his last manic episode that led us to a psychotic break. Without going into alllllll the gory details … it was ugly and scary to a 10 on the Richter scale of fear.

*What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
I kept telling myself … this too shall pass.
WE will get passed this.
Hubby will come back down to earth. I can do this. I can do this.
I stopped while in the chaos of fear … and thought about WHAT to do.
And then I did those steps.

*Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”
The up side to alllll of this … I know for sure I CAN DO THIS. In fact, I CAN do anything.
emoticon


Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,184
6/27/18 6:27 P

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Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.

Many times but what stands out was about 7 years ago.It was challenging and downright scary for me to sign up and become yoga certified at a Community College. I wasn't getting any younger, never had the time before so it was now or never. Most students were in their 20's, I was by far the most "senior" at 61 with cranky knees. emoticon

What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took

I was still working full time so I started out with online classes: biology and business. I visited the campus a few times before attending and walked around and saw where my classes would be to familiarize myself.
After retiring, I took a deep breath and signed up. I put 6 to 7 positive affirmations on my notebook cover such as, "If you are going to doubt something, doubt your limits" and "It's not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves" and read them all MANY times when feelings of fear or inadequacy came over me. I went to every class, practiced at home as much as my knees would allow, took the best notes I could and made tons of flash cards to help with recall.

I told myself "quitting is not an option" . Turned out that this phrase dove tails nicely with another goal of a fit and healthy lifestyle.

I learned so much more than yoga but would have learned even more if I would have had the confidence to ask more questions. But so glad that I learned how to teach and practice yoga safely. Thanks partly to yoga my knees are now much less cranky.

Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”

I may have already shared that I got out and rode a bike finally. It was a big deal to me with my somewhat cranky knees and not at all sure of my balance. I had tried briefly in the past at home where it is hilly and did not feel confident and was afraid I would crash and injure myself. DH patiently drove me and the bikes around and found a large, flat parking lot. I rode for a short time. First one direction and then the other which was much harder for me to do and finally built up the courage to try a few figure eights.

I plan to get out tomorrow and practice some more. Eventually I plan to find slightly harder places to practice. From there my goal is to go on a bike tour with DH through the historic part of a nearby town. emoticon emoticon



Edited by: GOCALGAL at: 6/27/2018 (18:39)
Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

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I too am a very fearful person. I have many family members and friends I want to connect with but I am afraid to call them and afraid they won’t want to see me or talk to me.
I am afraid of what people think of me because of my rolls of fat and big tummy.
2. What did you do to overcome fear? I really haven’t. I have sent family emails and texts as that is easier for me. I pray for these family and friends and courage to make the calls but haven’t done it yet.

3. I know that I Timoth 1:7 says “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
Weight at beginning 136.5. 10 days later 136.5. Glad I didn’t gain during my birthday week.

Edited by: MADAMEJEANNE at: 6/27/2018 (17:23)
Matthew 11:28 Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest unto your soul.


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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,327
6/27/18 3:20 P

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I admire you Gil!

One day at a time!


Gloria.
EST Pennsylvania
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GLORIAZ's Photo GLORIAZ Posts: 1,327
6/27/18 3:16 P

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Yes, this is a tough one. I am usually the fearful one. My normal question is “what if?” I don’t join clubs because what if no one talks to me? I won’t wear a bathing suit.......I wait in my car if I am meeting a friend for lunch because........What if she doesn’t show up? I have never written a blog.........what if?

I am going to make an effort to take a tiny step and try to overcome my fear. I will do it in fear.

Thanks for the group hug! Love this team!



Edited by: GLORIAZ at: 6/27/2018 (15:18)
One day at a time!


Gloria.
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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,050
6/27/18 12:57 P

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emoticon Thank you Cat, I so need to be in that group hug today! Hugs all around!
emoticon This is a lesson in my book that is marked to return to because I am working on my “courage” badge! It won’t be easy, but friend encouragements make it possible.

Blessings and good vibes on your day!



Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
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Thank you Cat. emoticon emoticon

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,930
6/27/18 11:55 A

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emoticon I know exactly how you feel Gill.....and C.


Huddle up anxiety peeps.........group hug time!



Edited by: CAT125 at: 6/27/2018 (11:59)
Cat, in Florida
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6/27/18 11:41 A

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Day 10

Do it in the fear

"When you face a scary situation, build your courage and do it in the fear!"

This is a tough chapter for me. Just saying the quote above is not enough. While there are times that I can build courage and create ways to use it in my day, there are many times where the pain from anxiety is overwhelming, and I have not been able to push past it.

I will keep this quote in mind, but staying in my comfort zone is a blanket that I hold on to.

I have general anxiety and social anxiety. I have extreme worry, and I fear criticism (to a point where I feel physical pain).

Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts... now.... and now....... and now.

To get past it, sometimes I have no choice and have to complete the thing that is making me anxious.

Places in my life now where I can "do it in the fear":

Basically everything I do outside of my home (or calls to a business)

C

Live in the moment

I follow the MyWW Blue Plan
Lifetime WW Member as of 3/8/2020

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,009
6/27/18 10:04 A

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Flippin' heck - I just made a phone call about joining the gym! I think I need to have a cup of tea and get my knitting out for a while just to calm down again!


Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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READY201811's Photo READY201811 SparkPoints: (130,520)
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6/27/18 9:32 A

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Most of my life has been living in fear. From others, the system and failure
To get past the fear I had to get out, step away, escape, quit, leave,
Do it in the fear- facing the problem head on, psychiatrist today, therapist number 5 Friday, upcoming appointment with an attorney, we go to court in September. Fear cannot consume me

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CD14651201 Posts: 4,325
6/27/18 9:31 A

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Day 10 - Do It in the Fear

Today

Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.
I have lived under a spirit of fear that developed starting the night of my marriage when abuse started out of nowhere. It grew in power over me through the years each time an incident occurred. Then even once the physical stopped just a word or a look could trigger panic. It's been so bad I've gone to the hospital on several occasions because of panic attacks. The most recent was this past Saturday when we were supposed to be celebrating our 39th Anniversary and I began thinking about the years and all the bad stuff instead of focusing on how far we've come and all the blessings we have now. My body went into full on panic attack mode and for anyone who has ever experienced one you understand. Took almost 24 hours for my body to respond to my change of thoughts.

What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
I turned to scripture and rode out my physical symptoms knowing this too shall pass. God has not given me that spirit of fear it came upon me through sin (to much to go into detail).

Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”
I don't have to do anything in fear because God has given believers power over all spirits of fear no matter where they fear their ugly heads. I will continue to learn about my authority as a believer and how to use that authority and walk in it daily!


Days 1-10 completed!


You’ve come this far in your 100 days… Don’t stop now. If you’re struggling to stick with it, push yourself to finish one more day. You’ll immediately be another day closer to achieving your weight-loss goals. Just do one more day!

Day 10 weight 386 Starting weight was 392 so celebrating a loss of 6 pounds emoticon

SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 20,009
6/27/18 9:19 A

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Although I appear quite confident, I deal with quite a lot of anxiety which I am so used to I don't even notice it! For example, since I moved to my new flat, I've been sleeping really well. Because of this, I now know that I was more anxious/fearful than I realized at my old house - because I didn't sleep well! I had a lot of 'fears' on my mind about money and housing which have now gone!

I think that I do it in the fear most of the time! It takes courage for me to get out the door for a run in a new town. It's taken courage for me to go and sit in the communal garden. It's taken courage for me to do all the moving arrangements myself. It took courage for me to even go out into town wearing a strappy vest top!

I was a courageous single parent, and I've made big changes in my life more than once or twice. Always scary!

The next 'do it in the fear' thing for me is to go to the open-air swimming pool tomorrow morning. It's in my diary - I will do it.

I love that Linda aligns sticking to a diet with being courageous - I'd never thought about it like that before. Was it courageous to wash the profiteroles down the sink yesterday (see my blog for 26th June if you don't know what I'm talking about!)

I will muster up those 20 seconds of 'insane courage' when I go to the pool tomorrow. Into the cold water............. jump!

Overall, I think I've been strengthening my courage muscle quite a lot over the years and I'm pretty resilient.

One thing I've been thinking perhaps I need to do is to accept that the gym might be a good place to make sure I maintain muscle strength - because I don't have the discipline to do this on my own. I can run, do yoga, do quite a lot of body-weight ST, but lifting weights isn't something I'm good at on my own. Maybe I can visit the gym 'in the fear'.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,926
6/27/18 8:31 A

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Day #10 Do It In The Fear

I'm not so sure I would call many experiences in my life fearful. For me fearful was when my DH and I crashed on our motorcycle and had to get back on it to ride the rest of the way home. It is a similar concept to falling off a horse or bicycle. Or even when you trip and fall. You have got to get back up! You don't have any other choice. There is no Plan C !


Linda recommends taking 20 seconds being strong against the challenge you are facing. I have 2 outings today when I need to be strong. I have written my Plan out for lunch and dinner. Now all I have to do is be strong and not waiver for 20 seconds.


emoticon

LETS BE STRONG emoticon




Sue

Michigan - EST

LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,930
6/27/18 7:45 A

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Day 10 - Do It in the Fear






Steven Curtis Chapman - The Great Adventure: vimeo.com/15402749



Edited by: CAT125 at: 6/27/2018 (07:46)
Cat, in Florida
Eastern Time Zone


Pounds lost in 2020......


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 13,050
6/27/18 7:24 A

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Day# 10 Do it in the fear
Fear has stopped me from doing many things in my life. I don’t know if it’s my nature but I have never been a person to take chances even when I was young.
There were fearful times in my life, too hard to even share here, but we do survive those even though when we are in them we are sure we won’t.

At the age of 39 I took swimming lessons in a continuing education class at our local college. I stepped off the high dive at the last class, there were only two of us who did, and I can still feel the joy of that accomplishment.

My “do it in the fear” place now would be joining classes at the YMCA even though I have a membership with my health insurance.

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
6/27/18 7:11 A

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Day 10 - Do It in the Fear

When you face a tough time, remind yourself to reach for your courage and do it in the fear. Then spend twenty seconds being strong against the challenge you are facing. Courage represents a critical tool in your efforts to stay on a diet or conquer emotional eating. But unlike some new food plan or exercise routine, you can't pack courage neatly into a self-help book. Instead, you have to build it yourself and create ways to use it in your day.


Today

Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below. I been shy all my life so anything with the unknown feared me- meeting someone new, speaking in public, a scary ride etc.....
What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took. sometimes I bit the bullet and looked over there heads, put the fear on back burner, closed my eyes and go with a friend.
Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”
Starting a new job, a new place to live and scary about not being a KOPS

I know I need to do the work to succeed.


Days 1-10 completed!
You’ve come this far in your 100 days… Don’t stop now. If you’re struggling to stick with it, push yourself to finish one more day. You’ll immediately be another day closer to achieving your weight-loss goals. Just do one more day!




Edited by: TOPS2KOPSVILLE at: 6/27/2018 (07:13)
Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
6/27/18 6:19 A

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emoticon We completed the first 10 days! Tomorrow through Saturday I will be in Chicago and not sure if I am taking my Kindle with me. If not I will follow along and catch up when I return.

Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.

October 2014: Starting my new chapter of my life as a widow. Nothing in life had prepared me for it, there was no handbook, nothing to guide me.

What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.

I prayed, a LOT!

I fell into a mental funk, withdrew from my friends, left SparkPeople teams, including giving up leadership of this team. I was overwhelmed! Linda Spangle reached out to me, sending me personal emails and recommending sections of her first book "Life is Hard, Food is Easy" which had a section around handling grief.

I learned to sit and live with the grief, feeling it wash over me, crying into my big cat Houdini's coat while I hugged him, or into my pillow. I learned the power of nature walks and how they really helped me feel better.

I joined a singles group for people over 55 in my area that was specifically a NON dating group. There were around 110 members, and a good 90% of the group were female, including a large number of other widows at various stages of their own new chapters. We were there to support each other, get up off the couch and DO something, like karoake which is now a new favorite of mine, and Improv which I enjoy despite my lack of formal training. We went bowling, miniature golfing and sometimes just out to dinner and sat and chatted. I was in the group for 9 months when Tom joined. A spark struck, and two months later we started dating and had to leave the group. emoticon



On my one year anniversary as a widow, I planned in advance, took the day off work, booked myself into a very nice bed and breakfast that night, went for a very long hike at Hidden Lake Gardens the next day. It was all about healing. On the way home I stopped at a florist and got a dozen yellow roses, Half in a "big hug" cup for my desk at work, and half in a vase for Gary's grave. Yellow roses were his favorite.



A month later I started dating Tom. I still have bad days in the "widow hood" and I still have those odd moments where I will cry when a random memory strikes. But I know I can do this, I have done it and am doing it.

Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”

Cold calling business prospects on the phone. Despite 36 years experience, I still get that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach when telephone prospecting. I much prefer doing it in person. It's harder to slam the door in my face once you meet me.




Edited by: CD13384562 at: 6/27/2018 (06:28)
FORESTPAL's Photo FORESTPAL Posts: 1,394
6/26/18 7:23 P

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Oh my, I'm finding that the possibility of great positive change can be more stressful for me than regular stressors. I used the plan B concept today together with" ride it thru" fear. It works! Of course I'll continue to have the fear that it won't happen and the fear that if it occurs I won't be able to benefit from it as well as I should. My gut hurts from just thinking about it.

Patsy; Livingston TX, Central time zone: Rookie; Spark start weight 235; Paleo start 197


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,689
6/26/18 10:11 A

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emoticon 1-10 emoticon
"It takes courage to keep walking when the path is obscured by confusion. Trust. Believe. And just keep walking. The path will be revealed!" -Sue Krebs

Day 10 - Face Fears - *food* and cravings are everywhere I go!
Courage to make each Bite Count. First Bite taste Best.
Thirsty? Hungry? Emotional? Tied? --- Walk Away bit.ly/2KhV7Sj

Edited by: AURA18 at: 3/29/2019 (13:08)
Maribeth MN CT Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u u.nu/httpsunu7lag u.nu/43qj2
CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
5/7/18 6:03 A

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Day 10 - Do It in the Fear

When you face a tough time, remind yourself to reach for your courage and do it in the fear. Then spend twenty seconds being strong against the challenge you are facing.

Today

Recall a time when fear took over your thoughts. Write it in the space below.
What did you do to get past the fear? Make a list of steps you took.
Identify places in your life now where you can “do it in the fear.”


Days 1-10 completed!


You’ve come this far in your 100 days… Don’t stop now. If you’re struggling to stick with it, push yourself to finish one more day. You’ll immediately be another day closer to achieving your weight-loss goals. Just do one more day!


Link to Day 9
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messagebo
ard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194x69010
557


Link to Day 11 www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
58x211
94x69014825


Edited by: CD13384562 at: 5/9/2018 (06:07)
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