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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 14,561
11/18/19 10:08 P

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Day 76 - Emotional Safety

I have two kinds of escapes, escapes to distract me from emotions I don't like and do something I enjoy instead, and escapes that are a quiet solitary place where I think over and come up with a solution. Escapes are doing something productive, exercising outside, walking or hiking, going to a show, spending time with good friends, sparking, or internet surfing. My quiet solitary place is in my house, when DH is out working, having the sound system to myself and reflecting.

June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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NOCALORIES's Photo NOCALORIES Posts: 21,286
11/18/19 9:19 P

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Emotional Safety

I and my DH are empty nesters. So I like to go in my son's room where I have a recliner which I enjoy sitting in and reading my Bible. I call it my own personal sanctury. I make my day start with a glass of water and the blessings of appreciating my quiet surrounding.

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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 28,384
11/18/19 11:14 A

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~ Decide where you can create an "ahh" place for yourself. A corner of a room or even an overstuffed chair with a cozy blanket can do the trick.
I have a recliner and favorite blanket that I am comfortable in.

~ Personalize this area with a variety of nurturing items such as plants, photos, or stuffed animals.
I have all my "stuff" around me. Books I'm reading, journals, pens, stickers, stamps and other things I use in my bullet journal, candles, and often my cat is on my lap.

~ Sit in the safe place you've created, then pull out your journal and describe your setting, including how you feel when you are in it.
I like this prompt.



~ Renee ~

Turn your magic on.


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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,819
11/18/19 10:52 A

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DAY 76 EMOTIONAL SAFETY

First I want to start off with this thought taken from the beginning post:

When you feel unselttled, anxious and insecure, you need a way to regroup and feel safe again. "Emotional safety gives you a sense of being "grounded" as well as protected, strong, and secure. When you feel emotionally safe, you can relax, heave a big sigh, and say, "ahhh....." -- acknowledging that, at least for the moment, you are completely at ease.

~ Decide where you can create an "ahh" place for yourself. A corner of a room or even an overstuffed chair with a cozy blanket can do the trick.

In our home I have the luxury of just myself and DH so I have a lot of quiet places. Like Janet, I start my mornings off in my living room with my coffee, bible, and computer while DH is upstairs in front of his computer. But later in the day when life gets noisy or at times when I need a place to calm my anxieties I have a nice Sitting Room upstairs. It is quiet and comfy with a chair, a bookcase filled with my books, a TV for watching the Hallmark channel, and other things that bring me happiness.

What I need is to find a "safe place" when I am out in society and my anxieties start to build. The things suggested in today's lesson really don't sound practical for the times when I need a "safe place" away from food temptations. Usually the only place to hide in these situations is the bathroom and no one wants to spend too much time in there!





Edited by: FUNLOVEN at: 11/18/2019 (10:59)
Sue

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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,928
11/18/19 10:32 A

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My sunroom - I love it. I talk to myself there! I talk to friends there. I watch the wildlife there. Say my prayers there. Drink coffee there. Meditate and journal. It's comforting.

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,733
11/18/19 9:08 A

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Day #76 Emotional Safety
My two favorite places of emotional safety, "The Parlor" and front porch swing depending on the season. At the moment both places are way too cold so I’ve found my bed to be the place to go find solace when I need to.

It is good to find the emotional safety within us. It is that "feeling" of knowing I will be ok that I get from my safe places.
I'm sure I could find that feeling somewhere else because I would search for it in a book, in a poem, in a conversation or just in my heart!


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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THETROUT's Photo THETROUT Posts: 1,975
11/18/19 8:00 A

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Day 76 - Emotional Safety

My most common "go to" place for emotional safety is the couch I'm sitting on now. I start my day here with coffee, Bible, computer. Sometimes my dachshund is in my lap. But what I like even better is the guest room upstairs because I can be more alone there. It has a comfortable chair, good lighting, a small table, and is rather cleaned up most of the time. I would like to spruce it up a bit next year. But it is a great place for contemplation, reading, prayer, crying.

Janet in Georgia

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,575
11/18/19 6:20 A

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In some ways my emotional safety is found in all my planning tools - my menu plans, my Bullet Journal - planning is a good way for me to look after myself.

My home is a sanctuary too - what a blessing to have this.

A nice bath is always very warm and feels like emotional safety.

I have several 'ah....... ' places in my flat:- I have a red sofa in my bedroom which has fairy lights around it, and I have a fake open fire heater which provides a cosy glow. I have blankets nearby to wrap myself up in. I have a big, cream, sofa in my lounge which is nice to curl up on and usually I read or watch films there. I also have a tub armchair in the small bay window in my lounge - sometimes I sit there with a cup of tea and just listen to something like a talking book, or music.

I am lucky to have these quiet places to myself.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,740
1/19/19 4:01 P

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Day 76, 100 days Emotional Safety

I understand this is useful to consider if and when I am feeling anxious or insecure to help me stay "Grounded" as well as protected, strong and secure.

My bed is still my safe and comfortable place when my sheet is tucked under my chin and my duvet keeping me warm - I also cuddle up to my dh's pillows as they smell of him. Planning to put my Pink book of 100 days thoughts in the drawer next to my bed. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Donna
Lancashire, UK

dsjb99@yahoo.co.uk

don't have a facebook account
PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,243
1/19/19 12:09 P

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I read my last post, and my "ahhh" places are still pretty much the same - my bed and the Y. I just came from the Y where I saw friends and took a class taught by a wonderful instructor. I feel very safe and nurtured (in different ways) in both of these places. And, Maribeth - you are so right! Taking care of and loving my two big dogs is very emotionally comforting to me. (Cute pics of the dachshunds!)

The air squats -- very interesting! I must remember to do these on a regular basis! I'm wondering about why the left arm is first (in the demonstrations) to wrap around to hold the ear lobe?



Paula -- Waco, TX area
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,255
1/16/19 12:15 P

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emoticon
Pets are emotional safety u.nu/neow Linda's blog
emoticon Safe place is still our cozy basement. With Buddy on my lap, I can't get up. No food zone - dark, cool, tranquil. Relaxed in recliner with lots of fake fur blankets. Drink big jug of warm water. I'm one happy camper.
emoticon Away from home I bring reading material and notebook to avoid food.
emoticon Spark article "Tame Emotional Eating Beast" u.nu/0ti- " Keep it simple: writing plan for next day then monitoring what I eat. Distraction from spontaneous eating choices, "Not on my plan for Today!"
emoticon
Celebrating 3 lovable pets : Buddy and doxies Billy and Bridget.
All Google images
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: AURA18 at: 5/3/2019 (11:45)
Maribeth MN CT Panthers draxe.com/ dance u.nu/ixjy planks u.nu/9w-u u.nu/httpsunu7lag u.nu/43qj2
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,575
6/7/18 8:36 A

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emoticon
When I'm out I always have a book, and some little headphones to retreat into.

I just scrolled back through this thread and saw that I had said how I'd love a rocker chair or swing seat. In my new place there is a bench that's on a rocker! Lovely!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,421
6/7/18 7:19 A

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Sue, I think a person's thoughts on this lesson will vary a lot depending on whether one is an introvert or an extrovert. I also am the planner and organizer in my family....but I am also an introvert. I deal quite well with the shyness that comes with that simply because I won't allow it to keep me from things I want to do but......I do find that I consciously locate a safe haven in most situations...I like a table at the edge of the room or by a window in restaurants; I like to find a quiet corner to retreat to for a few minutes at parties; I avoid crazy chaotic events unless I know I can find a peaceful spot. Sometimes it just requires stepping outdoors for a few minutes.

At home, like you I have my easy chair in which to start my day....and I love, love, love libraries and bookstores because I need that quiet space. Books have always been safe havens for me.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,819
6/6/18 8:01 P

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I don't think I have EVER thought of food as a security blanket. If anyone asked me, I would say is what I use for avoidance and distraction. So it is taking me some time to wrap my brain around this concept.

I don't deal well with chaos so somewhere silent can be very comforting to me. I like book stores because they are quiet. I do all of my thinking, reading, praying in a favorite chair in my living room every morning where I can be by myself in quiet. When I am not at home? I'm not sure. The bathroom?

The questions that keep popping up regarding this topic - Are there times when I feel unsafe? When or where are they? and Why do I feel that way? I wonder if I was a quiet bystander instead of the active planner if I would be able to figure this out more easily. Last night was Girl's Night that I had planned. I was way too busy working at making sure everyone was happy and having a good time to stop and think about all of the food I kept putting in my mouth or the whys of it.


Sue

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LIVE-BREATHE-ENJOY LIFE!
"Live life to its fullest and make the most of every day."


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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,345
5/20/18 8:24 P

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Like others, my home is a major place of emotional safety for me. We decorate sort of minimally, but I have some favorite things I can see and appreciate from my favorite chair, a gold and orange ginger jar, a swirled blue and white glass paperweight, a crystal vase, and occasionally, fresh flowers like these.

Wanda - I too am glad your son is doing so well. Those kinds of things are things I’d rather go through than have them happen to a loved one.

Edited by: SKIRUNNER1 at: 5/20/2018 (20:25)

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MINDFUL-C's Photo MINDFUL-C SparkPoints: (200,004)
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5/20/18 3:18 P

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Wanda, so happy to hear that he is home and getting better!

C

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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,421
5/20/18 2:47 P

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I still feel my safe place is within and I can be there throughout the day when the stress level isn't too high. Son's surgery Friday (spinal surgery, neck) kind of through me for a loop though, there was no time Friday to go inward. I've been at home so much with my vision problems that the hustle and bustle of a big city and a big hospital was overwhelming. I wanted to be at home.

So I guess I'm seeing that our safe places can change depending on circumstances. The stress level is dropping now as Steve is doing VERY well and I can center myself to access the quiet, safe places within. I did have some success with that Friday and Saturday but really just enough to keep from cracking.

Today I am resting and I can feel the energy coming back. There were nights of lost sleep and way too many cups of coffee but...he is home and things are getting back to normal.

I have to spend some time thinking of safe places if different circumstances.

The good thing...I did not gain weight.


Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 27,243
5/19/18 7:59 P

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My favorite place is my bed. I have lots of pillows set up so I can adjust to read, watch TV, or whatever I want to do. It's a comfortable room -- slightly on the dark side because there are no windows, (although there is a double door opening into a patio room, and another door opening into the master bath which does have a window) and I have pictures my grandfather painted on the walls. I feel safe and nurtured here.

Strangely enough, another place that's totally different that I feel emotionally safe in is the Family Y I've been a member of for almost 30 years. No matter what kind of mood I'm in, I can count on feeling better after I've been there. People are friendly and supportive and truly seem to care...this goes for the instructors as well as many of the members I've become friends with over the years. During spin class this morning, the Royal Wedding was mentioned. Maybe I'll catch a bit of it online.

Paula -- Waco, TX area
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,575
5/19/18 1:28 P

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Reading through this thread reminded me

"Another safe space is my yoga mat - yoga is always emotionally nourishing for me."

So - here I go - to the mat!
emoticon

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN SparkPoints: (176,490)
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5/19/18 1:16 P

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Emotional Safety … this is a BIGGY for me.

I did not do well when I was working which was in a hostile environment. Now that I am retired … there is NO daily bombardment of … hostility.

We are hopefully proactively preventing hubby having a full blown manic episode. It can be seasonal as well as "thinking" too much … which he has been doing. Sleep is a HUGE issue and even on meds … we did not get quality sleep last night.

So emotional safety for today … our sunroom and a hot cup of tea … warmth from the sun and the Good Earth Sweet and Spicy tea I love.

When I am with hubby … I feel safe. I have a tendency to "play" with my wedding ring when I "need" reassurance. Deep breaths. Counting to 10. Deep breaths. Counting to 10.


Cat

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it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,928
5/19/18 11:06 A

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An Emotionally safe place for me is my sun room. It's my favorite place. I see the woods, which are calming. Sometimes there's beautiful wildlife - deer, fox, birds, rabbits, squirrel, groundhog, raccoon and occasionally I hear coyote. Now they are not real 'emotionally safe' for me. Kind of eerie. My bedroom works too. I can curl up with a book and just get lot in my reading.

Babs
SW Illinois - CST


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
5/19/18 6:45 A

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My emotionally safe places depend on the season. I love to be in nature. This time of year an AM cup of coffee on my deck, listening to the birds and enjoying the sights and scents of my flowers in pots on the steps is very calming. I make a point of leaving the building for lunch these days. I pack a lunch 4 days a week and will drive to a local park. On Fridays I go out for lunch at a restaurant that has great salads. I enjoy this special treat.

Sometimes it's just "safe in Tom's arms" as he gives great healing hugs.

MINDFUL-C's Photo MINDFUL-C SparkPoints: (200,004)
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5/19/18 5:41 A

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Emotional Safety

My home is my place. Anywhere in my home. I love being in my house. No one (other than family) making demands. No one pushing food, or forcing conversation, or judging me (or me imagining that they are judging me).

How to find that safety outside of my home... I have not succeeded. This is a big issue for me. I have social anxiety, general anxiety, and who knows what other psychological terms you want to throw in.

Recently I have noticed that my nervous tics are returning. Simple little "wacky" things. Like opening my eyes a little more for a very brief moment, tightening my chin, and a quick nose flare. I think it is due to knowing I have to deal with social interactions:my daughter's graduation, work, a trip this summer.... but I am really not sure.

I use my "seedless watermelon", taking breaths, counting, but I do not feel I have emotional safety. Last night I was doing it in my own home during band practice. Probably because it is trying to become a habit.

C

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,575
1/21/18 4:43 A

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I can relate to all those places of emotional safety.

I agree with Cheri and Wanda that emotional safety is within me. I think we live in a very emotionally challenging world right now and knowing how to comfort ourselves is a survival skill.

I recently experienced (through Yoga with Adriene) how effective it is to give myself a hug - to wrap my arms around myself and clasp my shoulders.

I also love my cottage. Like Susan's beautiful Hoosier, I enjoy my sweet home, the mugs all hanging in a row, my red sofa, my desk. Living alone I have the whole place to myself.

I find I also use clothes - wearing what feels cosy and comfortable.

Right now it's my bed!

Oh, and Phyllis, I would love to have a swing seat, or a rocking chair!

Another safe space is my yoga mat - yoga is always emotionally nourishing for me.
emoticon

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 1/21/2018 (04:48)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,404
1/20/18 5:58 P

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I have a particular armchair in the living room, which is large enough for me to curl up in. The room has a very calm vibe and I often find the parents of the children I tutor have fallen asleep, while I'm teaching their youngsters.

My teaching room is also a favourite retreat. Having a workspace like this at home has meant I could create a bright, light room that the children like working in. I truly enjoy this aspect of my work so this is a good space emotionally. Interestingly, I never eat in there.

Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

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DSJB9999's Photo DSJB9999 Posts: 6,740
1/20/18 12:57 P

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Day 76, 100 days Emotional Safety

Ooops I wish I had read this yesterday as I didn't feel very settled at all in the afternoon!

I think my bed is still my safe and comfortable place when my sheet is tucked under my chin and my duvet keeping me warm - I also cuddle up to my dh's pillows as they smell of him.. I will try to make this space even more cosy and as previously I had said I would create a booklet file of my goals/reasons for being healthy if my top drawer next to my bed. emoticon

Donna
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don't have a facebook account
LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,421
1/20/18 9:12 A

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Day 76, Emotional Safety

Well, I've missed several days again. It seems that days can be busy even when you are on vacation.

At home my safe place is my living room - where there is no tv, just books and music. Usually I'm the only one who is in there unless hubs joins me for a bit. It is where I think through problems, plan, pray, listen to music and/or read. Just a peaceful space that seems to bring peace to me.

Mostly now though, I carry my safe place within me. If I feel stressed, I can use some deep breathing, imagery of the mountains or sea, and prayer to steady me. At one time that old "fight or flee" instinct would kick in and stressed would amp up to really stressed, maybe even to falling to pieces stressed but that doesn't seem to happen any more. Does age and a perspective on life have something to do with my change in reactions? I think that is possible because nowadays I can say "This too will pass" instead of "The sky is falling".

Exercise today is Everyday Body exercise and a 2 mile walk.

Edited by: LIVINTODAY at: 1/20/2018 (09:13)
Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
1/20/18 7:08 A

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My happy places are a little seasonal. Anywhere I am in nature can be very peaceful and relaxing for me. On snowy, bad weather days, I will drive to a local park to eat my lunch in the car. I am often the only one there and I can still absorb a bit of the peaceful tranquility.

Another thing that brings a smile to my face every time I look at or use it, is the antique Hoosier baking cabinet that Tom and I found at a local antique store, brought home to love and restore. It houses all of my baking materials, my Mom's mixing bowl, my recipes, a vintage canning jar that holds trinkets, and my Dad's flag and medals from WWII on top.








MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,733
1/20/18 6:56 A

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Day #76 Emotional Safety
My two favorite places of emotional safety, "The Parlor" and front porch swing depending on the season. At the moment both places are way too cold so I’ve found my bed to be the place to go find solace when I need to.

It is good to find the emotional safety within us. It is that "feeling" of knowing I will be ok that I get from my safe places.
I'm sure I could find that feeling somewhere else because I would search for it in a book, in a poem, in a conversation or just in my heart!

Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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CGH-ARTYPANTS's Photo CGH-ARTYPANTS Posts: 1,308
1/20/18 6:48 A

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Right now I am in my favorite ahhh spot. It is early morning. The house is quiet and I am in my double recliner by myself. Lights are low. I have my reading lamp on. Husband is still sleeping. I have my favorite quilt over me and a good cup of coffee. Ahhh.
This spot changes during the day. My husband comes and sits beside me. The double recliner is our favorite piece of furniture. We snuggle. We watch TV or read together...not bad that we still snuggle after 43 years of marriage. This recliner at times has several grandchildren take it over. That is OK.
My car can be an ahhh spot when I am driving to and from work. I listen to music I love or my favorite radio station. Living in a rural area, driving is not stressful.
I can't think of an ahhh spot at school. It is more situational. Some classes are stressful and some are not. My quiet alone time during lunch or my planning period gives me some ahhh time.
But more than anything, it is my faith that keeps me grounded. I have my main emotional safety there. It is not things or a place. It is within me.

Cheri from Georgia
Direction - not Intention - determines Destination


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,575
9/15/17 4:01 A

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Well done, Babs!
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Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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9/15/17 3:51 A

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Great posts here, thanks everyone. I've been collecting helpful links in the Miscellaneous Forum, and often go there to re-read something. As others have said, the lessons I've learned by studying the Linda Spangle books have gradually changed the way I think, and I feel much more emotionally strong.

Away from home can be hard. If I'm on the bus, or in a situation where I don't have to interact with people - I often put my earphones in and listen to the radio - usually spoken word. That creates a hiding place for me and it takes my mind off my own thoughts.

If I'm out in the street and something upsets me, I try to take a diversion - to move away - head for a quieter place, eg a back-street or park - moving away from the thing that caused the anxiety helps.

If I'm at work, I can usually change tasks which will involve me walking to a different place, or finding a reason to go somewhere alone for a moment. It's hard at work - and my go-to is generally to put the kettle on and have a break.

I've been through phases of taking an aromatherapy roll-on with me - to put essential oil on my wrists or temples if I'm feeling stressed or upset. That didn't seem to last. I tried have something to twiddle in my pocket - but that didn't seem to last.

If I'm away from home, I can move towards safety by planning what I will do when I get home - ie give myself something comforting to look forward to.

Breathing is always good too - a few yoga stretches.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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MASTERPIECE8's Photo MASTERPIECE8 Posts: 9,928
9/14/17 4:03 P

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Maribeth, thanks! Great articles.

Emotional eating - ah yes. I started meditating again this morning. I honestly believe that will help me with this emotional/mindless eating. It brings such a sense of peace to me. I'm working on picking up my old 'good' habits and kicking the others to the wayside!

I'm on the path to better health.

Babs
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,255
9/14/17 1:17 P

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Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/16/2019 (13:22)
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FUNLOVEN's Photo FUNLOVEN Posts: 2,819
9/14/17 11:06 A

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Thanks everyone for the encouraging comments yesterday on my SMALL WINS!

I couldn't relate very well to Linda's lesson today. Like Wanda and Phyllis I am retired and so I am lucky that my time is essentially my own to do with as I please without pressure other than the ones I put on myself. But I found Linda's suggestions for how to obtain "Instant Emotional Safety" useless unless I want to live in a cocoon inside my house.

When I feel unsettled, anxious, and insecure it is when I am "out in the world" and there is no place to run to and hide. I mean you can only spend so much time in a bathroom stall - emoticon ! Her examples/solutions all revolve around being by yourself. This is discouraging to me since it has left me feeling stuck without any ideas of how to deal with social settings with other people where I find myself feeling emotionally unsafe.

Do any of you have any words of wisdom for me?

Sue

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9/14/17 8:39 A

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Day 76, emotional safety

I echo Phyllis. Linda's books have meant a lot to me and I really like knowing I can pick one up, read just one lesson and feel support and encouragement.

This summer my favorite place to relax has been our little sun porch. Love watching the sun come up in the morning and change through the day. It is getting cooler now though; I probably have only another month to sit comfortably out there. My living room (Phyllis's parlor) is a haven too. It is rarely used by anyone but me. It has the best light in the house though and also has my bookshelves and music...just a relaxing haven.

I'm grateful to be at a time in life where I feel emotionally safe. Being retired and out of the rat race, children grown and seemingly happy, grandchildren and a great-grandson to dote on, time to travel, health....could life get any better?

Exercise today: walking + the Everyday Body workout


Wanda

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,733
9/14/17 7:27 A

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Day #76 Emotional Safety
Today I will just say "ditto" to what I wrote last time. Watching the sun come up from the swing or catching an afternoon catnap in the parlor, my "ahh" places are perfect!
emoticon The books by Linda Spangle have become safety nets for long term health and peace for me.


Edited by: MAWMAW101 at: 9/14/2017 (07:30)
Phyllis ~~
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5/15/17 9:44 P

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,733
5/15/17 11:21 A

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Day #76 Emotional Safety
My two favorite places of emotional safety, "The Parlor" and front porch swing depending on the season.
It is good to find the emotional safety within us. It is that "feeling" of knowing I will be ok that I get from my safe places.
I'm sure I could find that feeling somewhere else because I would search for it in a book, in a poem, in a conversation or just in my heart!


Phyllis ~~
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20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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5/15/17 9:31 A

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Day 76 Emotional Safety

I need to read every day to feel at peace. I'm not sure why that is but I'll tell you that it started when I was a small child. When were stressful at home, I used to lock myself in the bathroom and not go out until I had read every label on every bottle in the room. Shampoo bottles, hair conditioner bottles, pill bottles, etc. Yes, I know...that is messed up....but somehow it calmed me. Of course with one bathroom for 5 people it was not always calming to others!! I still remember the screams of "what are you DOING in there?" Not long afterward I made sure that I always had something around to pick up and read.

It isn't all bad; I've learned a lot from my reading habit. At least I wasn't calming myself with food....then. Later in life I allowed food to become of the soothing process and according to the blog that Gill referenced yesterday, "woke the slumbering beast". It has been hard work but it is slumbering now.

Apart from reading which is a "go with" safe place, I also have a safe room in my house, actually two - my living room which has colors that sooth me, music, and no TV. It is a peaceful place that brings peace to me; the other room is our bedroom; I have always felt that a bedroom needed to be a calm haven and I keep most distractions out of there.

I once had three teenagers in the house; sometimes I miss that but I don't miss their bedrooms which were so....let me say, "dynamic" that they made me twitch. It puts a smile on my face to visit them now and see that their bedrooms are a calm haven in their otherwise "dynamic" homes.

No one will create "emotional safety" zones for us. We have to do it; it can be as simple as a comfortable easy chair, maybe noise cancelling headphones with your favorite music. It can even be the routine of a daily walk; preparing a healthy meal, reading the paper, chatting with a friend...there are so many options that may not require a physical space.

Exercise Day 76 - Lunges and squats & stretches - I'm stiff from the gardening yesterday morning

Wanda

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Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
5/15/17 7:25 A

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Day 76: Emotional safety
If you're like most people, you carefully protect yourself and your physical safety. You buckle up when you get into the car, lock your doors at night, and stay out of the scary parts of town. But how do you take care of your emotional safety?
When you feel unsettled, anxious and insecure, you need a way to regroup and feel safe again. Emotional safety gives you a sense of being "grounded" as well as protected, strong, and secure. When you feel emotionally safe, you can relax, heave a big sigh, and say, "Ahh...," acknowledging that, at least for the moment, you are completely at ease.
Create a safe place
Think about how you can create an emotionally safe place in your life. Choose a room, a corner or even a small area of a work cubicle that you can turn into your "ahh" space.
Gather a few favorite objects that always help make you feel comfortable and secure. Personalize the area with posters, candles, or stuffed animals. Brighten it with flowers or plants, and then add a CD player or a radio for soft, relaxing music.
Anytime life wears you down and leaves you feeling uneasy or discouraged, go to this "ahh" place and rebuild a sense of safety and calm. At work, renew your energy and your focus by touching the objects in your "ahh" corner.
Don't ignore your need for emotional safety. Instead, notice when you feel anxious or unsettled, then intentionally do something that will help you feel grounded and solid again.
Instant emotional safety
With a few simple actions, you can create some emotional safety anywhere. For example, if you go to a lot of meetings, carry your favorite coffee cup or a special notebook with you. This will always give you something familiar to hold on to, especially during tense discussions. After a hard day at work, ease your tension on the way home by listening to a CD of your favorite upbeat music.
When you go through major changes such as starting a new job or moving to a different home, don't wait for months to "fix things up." Instead, focus on creating your "ahh" spaces immediately. Seek out areas that you can use as an oasis or a safe retreat, even in the midst of chaos. The bathtub, a nearby park, your car, even a neighborhood coffee shop can all be turned into safe places where you can regroup when you need to.
Decide where you can create an "ahh" place for yourself. A corner of a room or even an overstuffed chair with a cozy blanket can do the trick.
Personalize this area with a variety of nurturing items such as plants, photos, or stuffed animals.
Sit in the safe place you've created, then pull out your journal and describe your setting, including how you feel in it.
I plan on creating an emotional safety. currently I don't have that. but I am working on keeping my eating at the table.
Writing letters to friends calms me so sometimes I will do that. Once I get the spare room organized I may make a space in there . being alone no one sees you eat. so no reason for sneak eating. but the habit is still there. and maybe I will start writing in my journal again .

Leslie Knudson
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5/15/17 4:39 A

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This is still a tough one for me. I have a difficult time finding emotional safety, I feel better at home but the worry and fear is still there.

I feel release when I type in my journal, but that is not always possible.

I am working on finding the "Happy Place" inside myself. Rather than a location, it is always with me.

C

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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
12/26/16 8:16 A

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Day 76 Emotional Safety

I plan on creating an emotional safety. currently I don't have that. but I am working on keeping my eating at the table.

Writing letters to friends calms me so sometimes I will do that. Once I get the spare room organized I may make a space in there . being alone no one sees you eat. so no reason for sneak eating. but the habit is still there.

I am now caught up with my lessons. back on track, Christmas is over- New years is not stressful and no food temptations esp. since I am not married. So rest of holidays will be stress free healthy meals. no cookies or pies or cheesecakes. But do want to create a tradition for the Christmas season. Just need to think on it a bit. someone needs to have a bigger house for the celebrations too.

New goals New Year New beginnings New experiences.

Leslie Knudson
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,255
12/24/16 12:49 P

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Edited by: AURA18 at: 5/29/2018 (22:31)
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TWEETYX2's Photo TWEETYX2 Posts: 2,071
12/24/16 11:51 A

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Focus: I really like that visual aid of the photo you took of a place that gave you a sense of peace. I think that is a neat idea and I think that I would like to do that as well.

I do think there is something about nature that does provide a lot of soothing relief. I find that being in water --whether it is the shower or the in ground pool we have here on our apartment complex property---is so relaxing. My husband and I try to make a 'date' of meeting there after his hectic day. Sometimes, just floating really takes away all of the tension a person accumulates.

Exercise that really makes you sweat can also work off a lot of tension. I also find that listening to music while sipping a tall mug of coffee flavored the way I like brings me to a place of serenity and peace.

Pam

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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
12/24/16 10:08 A

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Day 76- Emotional Safety


My best option would be a walk outdoors to enjoy nature. Since time and/or weather can sometimes prevent that when you live in a State that enjoys all four seasons, having photos strategically placed of various outdoor scenes I have enjoyed in person helps.

In our kitchen is a picture from Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore that we snapped on vacation this past Summer. The frame has driftwood and a few agates that we also picked up on the beach near our motel during our stay.

Another favorite picture is of my sister and I at Niagara Falls.

Stare at picture, take a few deep breaths, close my eyes a moment, stretch and reset. OK ready to move on to the next healthy challenge!

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12/24/16 9:14 A

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Emotional safety

Find your “Happy Place”, a place where I can fine emotional safety.

When I feel emotional I find myself on the computer visiting SparkPeople.

I can drink a glass of water and enjoy reading posts from my Spark friends. I never eat at the computer any more.


C

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,733
12/24/16 7:34 A

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Day #76 Emotional Safety
My two favorite places of emotional safety, "The Parlor" and front porch swing!
(Pictures below -- Depends on the season.)
As it has been pointed out going thru these lessons, it is good to find the emotional safety within us. It is that "feeling" of knowing I will be ok that I get from my safe places. I'm sure if I needed to that I could now find that feeling somewhere else because I would search for it.

Edited by: MAWMAW101 at: 12/24/2016 (07:44)
Phyllis ~~
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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,345
11/23/16 8:08 P

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In addition to my prior response to this lesson, I realize that in my retirement, mugs and water glasses nurture my emotional safety. I have some china cups and saucers, as well as some crystal glasses. In addition, I have a small variety of regular mugs and plastic glasses. Each must be aesthetically pleasing to both look at, to hold and have a nice lip for drinking. Here is a favorite juice glass.



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JUSTME9898's Photo JUSTME9898 Posts: 3,459
8/21/16 2:45 P

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Day to day stress is easily handled sitting at the computer looking out my window at the rolling hills and mountains behind, or relaxing in my pool, or sitting on my deck but when really stressful situations hit I have a problem finding balance. I can handle most things but 2 years ago I ran against a problem that effected my sleep, my digestion, my minute to minute peace of mind. I could find no place that soothed my soul at that time

goal is to be able to walk again
Linda
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8/17/16 6:24 A

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Yes, I agree the beach can be a nice relaxing place. Especially when the crowds are gone.

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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,176
8/16/16 6:02 P

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I continue to get so much insight by reading all of your insightful responses and by private journaling.. This lesson has rewarded me with another "ah ha" moment. I could not explain or understand why it felt so special at the beach yesterday. I am sure that I feel "emotional safety" at the beach.

Before retirement DH and I worked a stressful business together and I felt bombarded and overwhelmed by a fish bowl existence that had little to no boundaries between work and life. It took considerable effort to create emotional safety back then. With the 100DWL it expanded and became much easier especially after retirement.

I just realized that as a teenager, the beach is where I went to be away from an over controlling mother. It was so relaxing and peaceful there. This is the first time I connected emotional safety with how I feel at the beach and it was extra special that it included DH.

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
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DJBTOO's Photo DJBTOO Posts: 3,160
8/15/16 6:15 P

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Day 76 - Emotional Safety

I've always created spaces for myself - at home or work - that had objects that helped me feel 'grounded'. Now, with the opportunity to create a new living environment with our property and such we are creating a safe 'retreat' or 'haven' so to speak. Making it very private (can't be seen from the road or from neighboring properties), fenced/gated so no one can just 'show up' at our door ... we've pared down to our 'most' favorite things and live in such a small space that everywhere I look has something that is special. But all of that is 'physical' and like others here for a sense of emotional safety one needs to find that inside.

That is where my Buddhist practice comes in ... I follow a tradition that focuses on the 'breath' (as opposed to candles, mental images, music, etc.) and going inside and doing 'work' there to 'take refuge' as it's called. When one achieves this one can feel safe, grounded, clear no matter what the circumstances 'outside' are. I have a lot of work to do here too - as everything else in my life I'm tackling at the moment. But, in all reality, this should take precedence and would most likely make all the rest easier to deal with. A clear mind would be a wonderful thing!

dj ~ Big Island Hawaii
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8/15/16 4:56 P

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Sounds like you have wonderful safe places!

Yes, I need to play my bass more. While we play punk and rock and roll (not very relaxing LOL!), just playing will set my mind free.

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SKIRUNNER1's Photo SKIRUNNER1 Posts: 2,345
8/15/16 4:42 P

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Chele - sounds maybe like practicing your bass is a safe place/activity. I no longer have my clarinet but I used to love the sounds I worked for when I played it.

I've always made my little safe places. I have favorite things close to look at and current books and devices at hand as well. At work, my office always had plants (real if I had a window, fake if I didn't) and art posters or favorite photographs. I do agree about the safe space within - I started building that little by little a long time ago when I got bouts of extreme loneliness (even when I had no reason to feel that way at the time) and my dear husband advised me to look inside, that my best friend was me, that I could nourish myself even when he or others were not around, and that I would always be there for me. I hadn't learned to value my me, is what it came down to. Make a place for God in there as well, and it's been a long time since I've actually felt lonely.



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8/15/16 4:08 P

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I agree... but I have yet to find my internal safe place.


C

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8/15/16 2:23 P

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Now that I am retired ... my safe places are my bedroom and my sunroom.

I enjoy a hot cup of tea and the sunshine. I helps me calm down, relax and feel the warmth.
emoticon

I really like Pam's point ... our safe place needs to be within us ... that way we take it where ever we go.

Cat

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8/15/16 10:18 A

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Thanks for sharing photos of all of your cozy corners. I read this lesson differently simply because I have been in therapy (1992-1996) for childhood and later adult abuse. This terms sounded therapeutic to me and so I thought of how it was more of a place inside my head rather than a physical locale. It allows you to feel safe wherever you are. I do however pay close attention to making my home feel comfortable for myself as well as my husband. However, I believe this needs to be something I can carry with me so I feel 'safe' everywhere I go. Familiar surroundings always provide me with a feeling of emotional safety but to take that with me. Well, that is my ultimate goal.

Pam

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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,733
8/15/16 10:01 A

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Day #76 Emotional Safety
My two favorite places of emotional safety, "The Parlor" and front porch swing!



Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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8/15/16 8:29 A

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Awesome Maribeth and Leslie!

Day 76: Emotional safety

Find your “Happy Place”, a place where I can fine emotional safety.

When I read this chapter I first thought of the basement where my bass is. But I only go there to practice.

When I feel emotional I find myself on the computer visiting SparkPeople. Maybe I should fix up my desk. It is a little messy. I can make it a happier place to be. I can drink a glass of water and enjoy reading posts from my Spark friends. I can put on Pandora if I need relaxing music. I never eat at the computer any more. Cleaning up the desk right after posting today.
emoticon emoticon

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TOPS2KOPSVILLE's Photo TOPS2KOPSVILLE Posts: 23,911
8/15/16 7:26 A

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Day 76, 100 days Emotional Safety

Not sure if i have a safe place or things

I do relax in reclinder but i eat there most times although I have been starting to eat at the dinning room table now. so I will work on making it a safe place.my exchange book is in my purse. My food journal is on near my reclinder. sometimes on the table. but now I been keeping my table more clear than clutter with paper. sure that's why I am eating at table now.

I guess my office. I changed rooms and am slowly working on going through boxes and plan to put photos or pictures on the wall. I used to eat there and somehow have seem to stopped that too. I have my 100 day. I guess I use the same 1 or two cups .

Cleaning up kitchen before I sit two, taking a photo of food and posting on a facebook group and charting and tracking my food before I eat helps make my kitchen off limits. I dont hear the fridge calling my name no more. rarely open it to see whats in it. I do sometimes at my mom even if I dont want anything. but I dont grab just because anymore. I usually have my tea in morning then coffee I think i will change that up and start drinking my tea in the evening before I retire for night.

But I will make my office more special so it will be my number one safe place and the reclinder is my second as I can watch the birds as i have a feeder.

Scale gave me a good number today. tomorrow at TOPS it will be official.

Leslie Knudson
MN Area Captain TOPS
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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,255
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Edited by: AURA18 at: 5/29/2018 (22:32)
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This intrigues me. I think I live too much of my life in emotional safety and what I need to make more habitual is pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. But then it's important to have a safe place to retreat and recharge, of course.

Rebecca

He drew a circle that shut me out--
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,575
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I needed a place of emotional safety at work today - I got really upset about something and had no-where to go! I had another mug of coffee.............

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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My safe places are my bedroom and my sunroom.

I enjoy a hot cup of tea and the sunshine. I helps me calm down, relax and feel the warmth.
emoticon

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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I love my tv room love seat, my bedroom and my living room recliner. Work really doesn't have any place relaxing but I do have my honey vanilla chamomile tea to calm me down there.
My biggest zen comes when I am painting. I paint with acrylics and I love to go to paintnite.

Edited by: DEBPRE16 at: 3/16/2016 (14:16)
Debbie


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GOTTALUVPINK's Photo GOTTALUVPINK Posts: 613
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Day 76.... Emotional Safety

Home is my safe place. My three favorites spots are.... my bedroom... my recliner in the livingroom.... and (in nice weather) on my front porch swing. I do need to make them more personal with flowers, candles, and pictures nearby.

Phyllis.... That beach painted staircase is gorgeous!!!

Jodie


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MAWMAW101's Photo MAWMAW101 Posts: 12,733
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Day #76 Emotional Safety
Lucky me, I have several "ahh" places around our big country home.
Several years ago I redid a room the kids call "the parlor" that is a very welcoming place.
The swing on the front porch, the glider on the back deck where the bird feeders are and the room with my sewing/painting/knitting projects are also special emotional "ahh" places for me.


Phyllis ~~
Indiana - Eastern Time
20/20 Vision- What we focus on expands. “Never give up on the dream!”


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IAMBLESSED103's Photo IAMBLESSED103 Posts: 17,858
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Day 76 – Emotional safety

My "safe place" is my loveseat sofa in my living room. It's very comfortable and cozy. I have scented candles, photos of loved ones including my beloved dog Missy and her box of ashes (the living room was her favorite nap room) on the surrounding tables. I also keep a "quiet time" basket with my Bible, notebook and devotional books nearby. It is where I like to relax and pray most often. My secondary safe place is my back deck (in nice weather) overlooking the woods around me and listening to nature.


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CAT125's Photo CAT125 Posts: 28,726
10/18/15 7:44 A

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I guess my current safe place would have to be my computer desk. It's where I spend most of my time.

Cat, in Florida
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Colours are such personal things aren't they? I have to be 'strict' with red in my house - otherwise it gets everywhere! Your safe place looks very tranquil.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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10/16/15 8:10 P

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Gill - What a cozy space and I love your RED sofa. I had to give up anything red when I went with burgundy & mauve in my living room and dinning room, and it's a real pain at Christmas.

Abby
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10/16/15 7:59 P

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Day 76 - Emotional Safety

This is my “Safe Place”, just for me, where everything is handy...my chrome book, 100DWL book, scriptures, water bottle, manicure set, pen & paper, crossword puzzle, iPod, and my soft snuggly blanket. My little fur baby (Sasha) is usually curled up in her bed right beside my recliner.

Abby
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My past mistakes do not dictate my future. At any given moment I have the ability to improve and choose a new path for myself. Today I choose to follow my plan and live a healthy lifestyle.


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Nice, Gill! It looks very cozy and sheltering!

Wanda

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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,575
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After I read this book the first time around, I moved my furniture around and created a cosier place for my little sofa. I have a blanket, a teddy-bear, a few things that mean something to me, some music, a mini-dvd player, a little electric fire, and a place to put a lighted candle. I have a shelf there for my mug, books, pens etc.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 11/10/2015 (14:08)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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10/16/15 2:49 P

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Before I retired it was the couch. OMGoodness how I would fall into it and snuggle into a cozy blanket, just bone tired and not want to move a muscle. Now I have several "ahh" places. My bed, bathtub, outside sitting in a chair or laying in my hammock listening and looking at all of God's creation. Also, sitting at my desk ridiculously early in the morning with a cup of coffee and only my thoughts, books, SP, yoga stuff.

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
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Given the tension I feel with my daughter's BF, combined with the need to BE ALONE with my thoughts after my husband died, I long ago set up a recliner next to my bed in my bedroom. I have a TV across from it, my laptop and good lamp for the computer or reading and a door with a lock that I use often. I do not have to venture out amongst the rest of the people in my house for anything if they are getting on my last nerve.

I even have my stationary recumbent bike in my room so I can and do exercise without the need for showing myself when they are on my last nerve, which right now is constant. It is jut better this way than to take the risk of undo confrontation. No sense in me saying things that will cause hurt feelings in the future. This is the easiest way to keep my sarcastic mouth shut. Thus keeping my emotional eating at bay.

Dot
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I actually have two safe places. I consider my bedroom a haven as many people do; it is a quiet, peaceful room where I can snuggle down to have an evening cup of tea, journal, make a call to my sister for a long chat, or read before sleeping.

I also have an easy chair that is MINE! I know I shouldn't be so possessive. Does anyone remember Archie Bunker and his chair or maybe the modern equivalent is Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory) and his spot on the couch. Like Sheldon's, my chair is in just the right place in our family room, with the outdoors visible as well as the TV. There is a bookshelf nearby, and a small table with drawers that hold my computer, pens, notepads, my "health" journal, a scissor, etc. A lamp that is perfect for reading sits on the table. I have a cuddly throw on the back of the chair and have even been known to claim that the chair wraps its arms around me.

Wanda

Believe in Miracles.
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Life is not fair, but it is good.

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SINFULLYQUAINT's Photo SINFULLYQUAINT Posts: 1,365
10/16/15 6:45 A

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I really like Thai idea, and I don't think I've really created any places like this for myself intentionally. Today I will think about what would be there for me in a space like that, and I'll try to find a little corner at work and at home. This is a really nice idea, I've been having a lot of anxious moments particularly at work lately that turn into emotional eating. Time for some relaxation :)

~Liz
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,575
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16th October 2015

Day 76 – Emotional safety

Note: If you find your way to the beginning of this thread, which was started in 2011, you'll find inspiration from posts made about this activity.

Here are today's suggested activities:

1. Decide where you can create an “ahh” place for yourself. A corner of a room or even an over-stuffed chair with a cozy blanket can do the trick.

2. Personalize this area with a variety of nurturing items such as plants, photos, or stuffed animals.

3. Sit in the safe place you've created, then pull out your journal and descibe your setting, including how you feel when you are in it.

Here's a link to the Day 76 blog, posted on Linda's Spark page
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_pu
blic_jour
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=60
05449



Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 9/14/2017 (02:36)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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DI_NAMIC's Photo DI_NAMIC Posts: 4,404
4/17/15 1:37 A

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I have a couple of places depending on whether I need access to a flat surface to write by hand or not. Wherever it is, there will be no TV, radio or intrusion from the World outside!

Diana UK GMT (EST + 5hrs)

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LIVINTODAY's Photo LIVINTODAY Posts: 9,421
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OOPS! This was supposed to be on my Reports topic.

Edited by: LIVINTODAY at: 11/8/2014 (17:11)
Wanda

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Forgive Everyone.
Life is not fair, but it is good.

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1KINDREDSPIRIT3's Photo 1KINDREDSPIRIT3 Posts: 6,053
9/18/14 9:03 P

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My safe place is my lazy boy chair in the living room in front of the tv. I can read, my kittie pops up and wants me to pet him and he sits in my lap, or I sit back and sleep, but always I relax, relax, relax...I do everything to get to that chair...lol

My bed is another area. Cozying up under my blankets...feels good.

Our deck overlooking the woods can be as long as I have cleaned the table!

cheers
barbara

Edited by: 1KINDREDSPIRIT3 at: 9/18/2014 (21:06)
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MKBWNSUGAR's Photo MKBWNSUGAR Posts: 11,277
9/17/14 3:59 P

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My safety places are a corner of the table with my meditation books by a window that I can look at the woods, get back to nature. Also in my family room on the recliner sofa is where I relax and have a coffee, tea or flavored water. I take a walk in the park to relax or go down to the water and walk. I usually have my ipod with my walking music.

Martha
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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 19,575
9/17/14 3:37 A

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Day 76 - Emotional Safety

This is an interesting assignment....

My whole house feels like a place that I'm emotionally safe in, as I live alone! My snuggle place is my little settee where I can curl up, and I have a throw there I can wrap round myself.

Another place for me is laying face-down on the floor with a cushion under my shoulders - a book and a cup of tea. I often feel like laying down at work - but I can't!

On the way to and from work I go 'inside myself' either walking and humming, or sitting on the bus reading, or looking out the window.

At work it's harder - I now have an aromatherapy roll-on which I can use to soothe myself. I try always to make my 'camp' at work; a place where I leave my bag and coat etc. And I try to wear clothes I feel comfortable and safe in. Again, I mostly have to go inside myself to be 'safe'.

When Linda talks about 'regrouping' I think I do this naturally - sitting on a bench, taking out a coffee.

I'm not sure I can do more on this ..... but perhaps noticing when I feel 'wobbly' and remembering to use my 'instant emotional safety' strategies will be helpful. The notebook, mug, special pen etc are all good - and I love a list!

later: I snuggled into my cosy corner after lunch - cup of tea, cushions, relaxation music, lit a tea-light .............. woke up 2 hrs later!
emoticon

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 9/17/2014 (12:34)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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9/12/14 8:49 P

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Day 76- Emotional Safety

My sunroom is very relaxing and warm for most of the year ... and is a emotional safety place for me.

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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CD13384562 Posts: 7,356
9/3/14 2:00 A

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Day 76- Emotional Safety

I think this depends on the weather/time of year. I am very much at peace when working on my flower beds or sitting on the deck with a cup of coffee or tea. I also feel very comfy on "my side" of the sofa, working on a crochet project.

This will sound crazy, but my laundry room is also very peaceful. After it was painted I hung an Escher poster of his work "Relativity" above the washer/dryer and put in a little white baseboard cabinet to hold laundry supplies. Above the cabinet hangs a picture of our 25th wedding anniversary, and one of R2's cover model.


WARMSPRINGDAY's Photo WARMSPRINGDAY Posts: 5,073
9/18/11 1:12 P

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I need to find a safe place.

I guess my safest emotional place is not so much a "place" but an activity and that would be journaling. But I find so little time for it. I find that frustrating.

Edited by: WARMSPRINGDAY at: 9/18/2011 (13:15)
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KITT52's Photo KITT52 Posts: 99,459
9/11/11 9:56 A

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I too love my garden and my back yard area..and i do read most everyday to help relax and get away from the rat race.....

2014 Ruby-lite of the YEAR
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9/10/11 10:28 P

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My garden is my sanctuary. When I am pulling weeds, or trimming plants....I'm at peace with the world. Everything else goes away and it's just me, right now, right here....no worries, no concerns. It gets hot and humid here in Houston. The misquitos get pretty hungry at times, too. None of that bothers me once I get my hands in the dirt. What does bother me is the thought I have to stop to cook dinner or tend to some other task. And then when I am all done, I step back, admire my work and get great satisfaction from it.

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9/10/11 12:32 P

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I retreat to a good book, get lost in "someone else's" troubles and take comfort from their overcoming them in creative ways. If book characters can do it, why not me? emoticon

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9/10/11 8:01 A

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I walk at lunch time too, I take seveal people with me...

2014 Ruby-lite of the YEAR
In GOD WE TRUST...
MOTIVATION REALLY IS--- TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR CONSCIOUS ACTION
FOOD NEVER SOLVES ANY ISSUE EXCEPT HUNGER.



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9/9/11 6:34 P

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emoticon home is our castle!

I also had a ladies room lounge in the building next door, over the skywalk to a different floor. I would also go to a bench in the park nearby when I would walk on my lunch hours. Now I take a few minutes and float in the pool... Sometimes I slip outside the office door and look at the mountain in the distance... or envision the ocean, running in the waves with my furbaby.

Edited by: CD10163029 at: 9/9/2011 (18:35)
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9/9/11 6:06 P

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my safe place was my office/craft room
but lately it's our bedroom, we got a new mattress and it feels so good just to sit on it, and with my laptop I can take it in there with me...and has a great view of Pikes Peak

2014 Ruby-lite of the YEAR
In GOD WE TRUST...
MOTIVATION REALLY IS--- TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR CONSCIOUS ACTION
FOOD NEVER SOLVES ANY ISSUE EXCEPT HUNGER.



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CD10163029 Posts: 2,791
9/9/11 5:27 P

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emoticon Day 76, Emotional Safety

If you're like most people, you carefully protect yourself and your physical safety. You buckle up when you get into the car, lock your doors at night and stay out of the scary parts of town.

But how do you take care of your emotional safety? Have you ever considered this a need and done anything about it? Please share your thoughts here :)



emoticon Emotional safety.
When you feel unselttled, anxious and insecure, you need a way to regroup and feel safe again. "Emotional safety gives you a sense of being "grounded" as well as protected, strong, and secure. When you feel emotionally safe, you can relax, heave a big sigh, and say, "ahhh....." -- acknowledging that, at least for the moment, you are completely at ease.



emoticon Create a safe place
Do you have a safe, comfortable place? Think about how you can create an emotionally safe place in your life. Choose a room, a corner, or even a small area of a work cubicle that you can turn into your "ahh" space.

Gather a few favorite objects that always help you feel comfortable and secure. Personalize the area with posters, candles or stuffed animals. Brighten it with flowers or plants and then add a CD player or a radio for soft, relaxing music.

Anytime life wears you down and leaves you feeling uneasy or discouraged, go to this "ahh" place and rebuild a sense of safety and calm. At work, renew your energy and your focus by touching the objects in your "ahh" corner.

Don't ignore your need for emotional safety. Instead, notice when you feel anxious or unsettled, then intentionally do something that will help you feel grounded and solid again.


emoticon Instant emotional safety
With a few simple actions, you can create some emotional safety anywhere. For example, if you go to a lot of meetings, carry your favorite coffee cup or a special notebook with you. This will give you something familiar to hold on to, especially during tense discussions. After a hard day at work, ease your tension on the way home by listening to a CD of your favorite upbeat music.

When you go through major changes such as starting a new job or moving to a different home, don't wait for months to "fix things up." Instead, focus on creating your "ahh" spaces immediately. Seek out an area that you can use as an oasis or a safe retreat, even in the midst of chaos. The bathtub, a nearby park, your car, even a neighborhood coffee shop can all be turned into safe places where you can regroup when you need to.



emoticon Suggested activities for today
~ Decide where you can create an "ahh" place for yourself. A corner of a room or even an overstuffed chair with a cozy blanket can do the trick.

~ Personalize this area with a variety of nurturing items such as plants, photos, or stuffed animals.

~ Sit in the safe place you've created, then pull out your journal and describe your setting, including how you feel when you are in it.



emoticon link to author's daily comments

theweightlosscafe.com/blog/



emoticon link to our discussion day 75

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x43977981




emoticon link to day 77 :)

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=20058x21194R>x44031462


Edited by: CD10163029 at: 9/12/2011 (22:02)
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