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LAKENDAL's Photo LAKENDAL Posts: 8,179
11/6/14 8:56 A

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Laura. Mio, Michigan

Lord help me remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle together.

If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy

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11/4/14 11:16 A

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Goals for Marriages

Setting goals in a marriage is as important as setting personal and professional goals. However, it is ironic that most people fail to set goals for their marriage. They set goals for their career, finance, health and they set goals to find their soul mate and get married.

Most people have the preconceived idea that once they are married everything would be fine. All their problems would be solved and they expect to live happily ever after on autopilot. This misleading notion may have stemmed from fairy tales that indoctrinated us when we were young. We are all familiar with the story of how the prince meets a beautiful girl, falls in love, gets married and they live happily ever after. Unfortunately, it is not as easy and smooth in the real world that we live in. Marriage requires work and effort from both spouses. Although love plays a major role in the marriage, that is only the beginning. It is crucial that you make a conscious and continuous effort to make your marriage a success.

Statistics show that almost half of marriages in the United States and other western countries end up in divorce. It is unfortunate that most couples do not give their marriage the proper attention and nourishment it needs to thrive. With the high rate of divorce it is obvious that you should spend time and effort to make sure that your marriage is a success. Your marriage should be your top priority. Do not just concentrate on your children, career and finance and neglect your relationship with your spouse. Ultimately your relationship at home with your spouse will determine how happy and successful you are. If you are unhappy in your marriage it will affect everything else in your life including your happiness, health, career and business. On the other hand, if you are happy at home you are more likely to succeed in everything else in life.

Of course when you are busy with your daily routine, it is easy to forget to nurture your relationship. It is easy to forget to be grateful for what you have. It is also easy to start criticizing your partner when things to go wrong. If you are not careful this will eventually lead to hostility and contempt and the end of your marriage.

Marriage does not have to be mundane and a struggle. So what is the recipe for a happy marriage? To make sure your marriage thrives, you should spend time planning your life together. Set goals for your marriage, short-term as well as long-term. Reflect on what both of you hope to achieve this year. Ask yourselves what you want to achieve in 5 years, in 10 years and 20 years down-the-line. If you set goals for your marriage you have a better chance of making your marriage a happy and fulfilling one.

So what is your recipe for a happy marriage? So what are your goals as a couple? How similar are your and your spouse’s goals for the marriage? Start by asking yourself “What do I want out of my marriage?” and “What do I want my marriage to look like in the future?” Spend an afternoon together with your spouse putting your goals down in writing. Schedule time with your partner to accomplish your goals together. Re-evaluate your goals on a regular basis. Be open in changing your goals.

So what should goals for marriages be? Goals for marriages should include all aspect of your marriage – physical, emotional, intellectual, finance, health, recreation, social, spiritual and everything else that could affect your marriage.

Like any other goal, goals for marriages need to be written down. The difference between a wish or a dream and a goal is that a goal is a wish or a dream that you have written down and take continuous action towards realizing it. For example, let’s say that both of you want more romance in your marriage. First you have to write it down. After that you have to ask yourselves why it is important for both you to achieve this goal. Ultimately you are more likely to achieve your goal if you have a compelling reason to do so. Then you have to be specific and ask yourself how you are going to achieve this. What do you have to do specifically? What is required to achieve this goal? Come up with your action plan. Next set a deadline when you want the goal to be accomplished. Brainstorm any obstacles that you would encounter en route to your goal. What obstacles can you expect? Last but not least come up with ideas how both you are going to overcome those obstacles. By setting your goals the smart way you are more likely to achieve your goals.

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