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11/4/14 11:09 A

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Keep Your Spouse’s Mind Occupied with Positive Thoughts of You
BY: Tiya Cunningham-Sumter

We’ve heard it all before, relationships take work. I prefer not to call it work, I’d rather say relationships require effort. Effort is something, that if we put our mind and energy toward, can actually happen. We are in more control of what happens in our love life than we care to admit. We have the power to make our relationship easier.

Many of the things that add stress to our marriage are well within our control. We can choose to improve ourselves, speak life into our marriage, and stay focused on the positive things that are happening. Or we can highlight the negative, complain about all the things our spouse happens to be doing wrong, and make, not only our spouse’s, but our life miserable. We can create an environment so filled with drama and distractions that neither partner looks forward to returning home at the end of a long day. I knew I never wanted that type of home. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I disagree, we fuss, we get upset, and we grate on each other’s last nerve. But no matter what, I refuse to have a home that lacks a sense of peace overall.

I made it up in my mind, I wanted my husband to be thinking positive thoughts of me when we are apart. In order for that to happen, there a few things I must be mindful of.

Disagreements get nipped in the bud the moment they show up. No sense in holding on to unnecessary drama if it is something we can discuss and get over right away. I have to open my mouth and share what’s on my mind, the good and the bad and listen when my husband does the same. I also have to be willing to forgive and apologize when needed in order to maintain the peace.

I must shower my husband with affection. Physical touch is important in any relationship, especially a marriage. I want to leave him wanting more and give him something to look forward to coming back home to.

I have to encourage him throughout the day with little reminders of just how great I think he is. I can do this through text messages or phone calls as long as I make sure to remind him that I love and support him, and of how much I believe in him.

These are just a few of the small things we can be aware of as we seek to create and maintain a peaceful and loving marriage. There is a certain affect I would like to have on my husband. I want to keep his mind occupied with positive thoughts of me

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