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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
8/26/14 10:53 A

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I have always believed that living together before marriage didn't work, and I know (as we see in the article below) that research usually bears that out. But, I know that the situation worked well for my brother and his now wife (who lived together for years before "walking down the aisle"), and it obviously worked for you guys.

I get that as you were older and more experienced in life, you would not be as keen to "play house" without a serious commitment and promise. I think that's how it was with my brother, too. I bet that's why your two relationships worked so well.

Have a good week!
cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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KAYAHSLOANE1's Photo KAYAHSLOANE1 Posts: 10,740
8/26/14 4:22 A

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Thanks cj, I probably should have given more background on the SO and me with our situation. We both were married previously and we didn't want to play at seeing if we wanted to be married since we were committed to one another. We just felt like we wanted a trial period to iron out kinks in our personalities and know we could talk, communicate with one another and have pretty much the same idea about being married.

When I was younger I was fine with living together with a man but being older I'm not into playing house unless there was a serious commitment and promise involved~

Kayah NV
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"If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay."



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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
8/25/14 11:18 A

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I'm glad it worked for you guys!


cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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KAYAHSLOANE1's Photo KAYAHSLOANE1 Posts: 10,740
8/23/14 5:39 A

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I'll have to admit to cohabitating before marrying my husband this go round. We wanted to make certain we were in it for the long haul and we could work out issues that cropped up! It worked for our situation but I can see why cohabiting before marriage for a good majority is a terrible idea.

Kayah NV
Powerful Prism Panthers #27-38


"If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay."



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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
7/3/14 1:27 A

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I've heard this before. I'm glad my dh and I didn't cohabitate before marriage. I feel marriages have enough strikes against them these days. I'm glad this wasn't one for us.

cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
6/15/14 6:35 P

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Living together before marriage has not proved useful as a “trial marriage.”

People who have multiple cohabiting relationships before marriage are more likely to experience marital conflict, marital unhappiness and eventual divorce than people who do not cohabit before marriage. Researchers attribute some but not all of these differences to the characteristics of people who cohabit, the so-called “selection effect,” rather than to the experience of cohabiting itself. It has been suggested that the negative effects of cohabitation on future marital success may diminish as living together becomes a common experience. However, according to one study of couples who were married between 1981 and 1997, the negative effects persist among younger cohorts, supporting the view that the cohabitation experience itself contributes to problems in marriage.

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