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6/8/15 12:25 P

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Tips to Address Feelings of Isolation In Your Marriage
By Katie Parsons

For whatever reason you’re experiencing loneliness in your marriage, Dr. Walsh offers these 3 tips to help you start repairing your relationship.

1. Find the source.

Instead of automatically blaming the marriage or bottling up any negative feelings, take some time to figure out why you feel the way you do. Perhaps the real reason for the feelings of isolation stem from something internal that needs to be addressed.

Ask yourself whether it’s about something that’s actually happening in the marriage, recommends Dr. Walsh. “Are you being abandoned or are you perceiving that you’re being abandoned?”

2. Avoid blaming your partner (or yourself).

Wallowing in your own sadness or allowing it to morph into anger won’t solve anything — and it could actually make you feel worse. If your spouse is acting in a way that bothers you, confront him or her with a positive tone and try to express that. Blaming a spouse for working too much, or not paying enough attention to you, or doing anything else that you perceive as “wrong” will only cause him or her to be walled off from you. Approach issues in a constructive, open way.

“It’s never anyone’s fault,” says Dr. Walsh. “It’s better to ask someone to help you process your feelings than to blame them for your feelings.”

3. Don’t rely on your spouse for everything — spread your wings.

If you expect your spouse to fill all the roles of best friend, emotional confident, lover, domestic partner, co-parent and your primary intellectual stimulant, you might always feel a little disappointed. Instead of relying on your spouse to fulfill all these needs to the fullest, divide those tasks among a few platonic friends. “This is a way to take some of the pressure off of the marriage and improve self-confidence too,” says Dr. Walsh.

If you can start by identifying why you’re experiencing loneliness, you can move forward to the actions needed to feel better about yourself and your marriage.

Edited by: LIKINMENOW at: 6/8/2015 (12:26)
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