Group photo
Author:
LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
1/10/15 10:20 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you for your comments MYAKAYAH.

Please join one of these teams:

Living a Simple Life
Creative Fun with Buttons, Fabric, Paper and More

Married Life
Catholic Married Life
KAYAHSLOANE1's Photo KAYAHSLOANE1 Posts: 10,725
1/10/15 4:48 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Glad to see this article, its a good reminder for women to think sometimes about our marriages and what we can do in our lives to improve and strengthen the sacred bond with our mates!

I know we are pretty much females here but it would be nice to see some articles once in a blue moon about the other side of the foot. (You know what men may want to consider & think about with their wives.)

When the SO and I married I recall clearly saying to him I am not your Mother! That meant I wasn't going to nag him, pester him and tell him what to do or what needs doing. He's a big boy and if he can't figure it out by now I can't help him lol! Granted we do things for one another but I have enough to do in life besides picking up after him and ordering him round.

#2. Most of the time I put my SO's needs first but sometimes life cannot be helped. My Mom and Dad are getting older. Sometimes, I have to put them first, not often but it happens. My Mom has Parkinson's and I am realizing I have to take care with her first since sometimes she doesn't want to deal with my Dad helping her. The husband knows this and so he understands. I want to be sure her annoyance and bad moods are lessened. Once in a while lately she has been having episodes of paranoia, so I try and keep her calm and redirected so she doesn't obsess on bad ideas.

#3. I think sometimes the SO wants me to be his girlfriend so to speak lol. I listen a lot but I am pretty logical and straightforward about things. He knows I'm not much for small talk and the nit grit of gossip like conversation with the he said, she said thing.

#4. The SO knows me well so he can finish my sentences and he has with friends and family. I've said it annoys me to him and he listens but honestly it can grate my hide. I have corrected my husband once or twice gently because he wasn't telling the truth of what happened in certain instances. If that is wrong sue me. Plus he didn't mind and it doesn't happen a lot, very infrequently. He likes to correct me if he feels I am fudging. We agreed as long as it is done in a loving calm manner then it is fine.

#7. We never bargain with this. I have to say we are both kinda oversexed, it is all I'll say about that lol. It would be very bad for both of us to try and use this as power games.

#12. This made me laugh when I read it about the wife who just cleaned the bedding lol. Whoa seriously? Priorities people. See #7! I think I will tell that to my husband and see what he says. He likely will laugh about it.

#14. Shoot I agree with this one. I think my SO feels that he is my Superman, Batman and Iron Man all in one because I focus on the great, the good rather than the negative bad side. If the SO focused on my negative traits we would of never been married. Nobody likes being around negative all the time so we should remember this. The SO as Prince Charming? I wouldn't like it, its fun to have him be the way he is. He even likes my grumpy self so I think of it from both sides. BTW, he is pretty charming. Its that European thing~





kayah in Nevada
Powerful Prism Panthers #27-38


"If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay."



 current weight: 110.0 
125
121.25
117.5
113.75
110
LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
1/5/15 1:51 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
You got that right...I so agree CJ!

Edited by: LIKINMENOW at: 1/5/2015 (13:52)
Please join one of these teams:

Living a Simple Life
Creative Fun with Buttons, Fabric, Paper and More

Married Life
Catholic Married Life
CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
1/5/15 8:45 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Great!

I find it tricky to balance numbers 2 and 3 sometimes. I don't want to overwhelm my husband with my girl-chatter, but don't want to isolate myself from him, or separate myself from him when he wishes to spend time with me.

I have to find that balance.

cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


285 Maintenance Weeks
0
75
150
225
300
LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
12/29/14 11:13 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon Laura!

Please join one of these teams:

Living a Simple Life
Creative Fun with Buttons, Fabric, Paper and More

Married Life
Catholic Married Life
LAKENDAL's Photo LAKENDAL Posts: 8,126
12/29/14 9:39 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Good ones!

Laura. Mio, Michigan

Lord help me remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle together.

If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
3
6
9
12
LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
12/28/14 4:42 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
15 Things Wives Should Stop Doing
What do your words and actions say to your husband about your love for him?
by Mary May Larmoyeux

1. Stop thinking that your way is the “right” way. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it’s wrong. When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, “I have to be in control.”

2. Don’t put others before your husband. God designed companionship in marriage so that a husband and wife can meet one another’s need for a close, intimate, human relationship. He even said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone.”

So what happens when you put your mother, a friend, or even a child before your spouse? Actually, you take a step (often unintentional) toward isolation in your marriage. If you choose, for example, to spend an afternoon shopping with your mom when your husband asked you to watch a football game with him, you may leave hubby feeling that he has second place in your heart.

3. Don’t expect your husband to be your girlfriend. Most men and women not only look different physically, but also have unique ways of processing life. One example of this is the need for conversation. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I’m guilty of wearing out my husband with countless conversational details that he doesn’t really care about. Now if he were a girlfriend, all of those details would definitely matter!

4. Don’t dishonor your husband. Suggestions included: Stop all nagging and don’t correct hubby in front of others. If you finish your husband’s sentences, you may be unintentionally communicating, “I don’t really care about what you have to say.”

5. Stop expecting your husband to fail you as your dad failed your mom. “I spent many years waiting for my husband to give up and walk out on me, like my dad had years earlier,” said one friend. Her unfounded fears had robbed her marriage of much joy.

6. Don’t put your husband on the defensive. For example, if you are driving around a section of town looking for a restaurant and he’s obviously lost, does it really help for you to tell him that he’s been going around the same block for the fifth time? One wise wife said that she’s learned to be quiet in situations like this. Now, before she makes a comment, she weighs her words—asking herself: “Are my words needed? Would they be encouraging?” Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

7. Never use sex to bargain with your husband. Some women intentionally or unintentionally say to their husbands, “When I get what I want, you get sex.” However, 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 reminds husbands and wives that their bodies are not their own. “Do not deprive one another …”

8. Stop reminding your husband about things over and over. Don’t make him feel guilty or nitpick him about small stuff. One friend said that when we constantly remind our husbands about diet, weight, medication, picking up the dry cleaning, etc., we are actually acting more like his mother than his wife.

9. Don’t make your husband earn your respect. Many women think, I’ll respect him when he earns it. But there’s a reason that Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” As one friend said: “If women could learn to understand that respect is a man's native tongue, that it absolutely heals his heart and ministers to him like nothing else, it would make the biggest difference in the world.”

10. Stop giving your husband your long term to-do list. A colleague warns against overwhelming your husband with too much information. You may unintentionally cause him to feel like a failure, thinking that your long list means you are discontent. Or, he may incorrectly assume that you want him to do something immediately.

11. Don’t act like your spouse is a mind reader. Instead, be specific about your requests. One busy mom said that she used to feel overwhelmed with household chores, wishing her spouse would help her. She now realizes that the only way he knows her needs is when she tells him. “Most often,” she says, “when I simply say, ‘Honey, will you tuck the kids in tonight while I get the kitchen cleaned up,’ he is glad to help.” She’s discovered that a few words are all it takes “to change a resentment-filled, stressed-out night into a team-effort bonding time.”

12. Stop putting housework ahead of hubby. One young mom told her husband that she didn't want to make love one night because she had just changed the sheets and she wanted them to stay clean. What do you think that response said to her husband? Another woman, who puts her husband ahead of the housework, said: “Do not leave the unfolded laundry on your marriage bed.”

13. Put an end to taking the lead because you think he won't take it. “The first many years of our marriage,” one wife said, “I would see what needed to be done and get frustrated that my husband would not take charge and get it done.” She went on to say that she’s changed by learning to wait on her husband’s leadership. “I really believe,” she says, “that our men don't lead because we women are too quick to jump in and take care of it all.”

Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body … .”

14. Do not expect your husband to be Prince Charming. After all, the perfect husband only exists in fairy tales and your marriage exists in real life. One young wife said that instead of focusing on her husband’s shortcomings, she’s learned to recognize the wonderful things about him. What’s been the result? He’s been encouraged to do even more to be the man of her dreams.

15. Never look first to a book, a plan, or a person to fix a problem in your marriage. Instead go to God’s Word and believe and act on the things that He says. “He will lead me to any resources I need,” one woman said. “God has already given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) but we have to live according to the promises and expect Him to show up for us.”


Please join one of these teams:

Living a Simple Life
Creative Fun with Buttons, Fabric, Paper and More

Married Life
Catholic Married Life
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Married Life Action Posts

Topics:
Last Post:



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=186x11877x60138849

Review our Community Guidelines