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5/16/11 9:10 A

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I gained 60 lbs while battling with 3 year struggle with depression. Looking back is still hard. I was a newlywed, but so unhappy. I hated myself, which made it SO hard for him to make me believe I was beautiful, smart, funny. I couldn't look a single person in the eye. I'd stare at the ground, I knew I was inadequate, and I "KNEW" they thought that I was worthless. I was too embarrassed to talk about my feelings to anyone, so i hid it. I completely stopped talking to my friends, I stopped responding to calls, so they stopped calling. My life finally hit an all time low when I would lay in be until 1pm thinking horrible thoughts of "what life would be like if only I weren't around" or "how much happier people would be without me bringing them down."
I finally opened up to my mother, and she, who also has struggled with depression, made me promise to see a doctor. So I reluctantly did.
So with lots of counseling and support from loved ones, lots and lots of prayers, and some happy pills, my life has done a complete 360! I am back to the happy, fun loving, talkative person I used to be! I have done a lot of work to repair old relationships I lost from depression, and to get rid of negative people in my life I was letting walk all over me! I feel good about myself, I know I am beautiful no matter what, and to God, I have beauty BEYOND COMPARE!
I have finally reached the stage where I am going to take on the biggest monster left over from my depression. The 60 lb monster that is STILL dragging me down. I have lost 5 lbs, and want to keep going!

I deserve a treat because I battled the depression monster, and won.
and I deserve a treat because I am beautiful, but am taking the next steps to be a healthier, and skinnier, beautiful me!


 current weight: 193.0 
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