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GRANDMAKARENG's Photo GRANDMAKARENG SparkPoints: (93,395)
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10/24/16 11:26 A

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AGRAY how are you doing?

Ohio


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GARDENSFORLIFE's Photo GARDENSFORLIFE Posts: 47,081
10/23/16 10:06 P

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Sending you a big hug!
It is hard and 24/7.
I hope you can get some time for yourself. It is hard work and negative behaviors are difficult to manage.
I wish I had an answer. Try to see if you can find help- friend, social service agency, medical referral, organizations or etc.



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CRICKET836's Photo CRICKET836 Posts: 6,424
9/26/16 9:12 A

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Sorry you're having a frustrating time of it. We took care of my Mom for 6 months before putting her in long term care. We still go help her eat and she too has her days when she gets ornery and we can not reason with her. She doesn't remember our names but I think sometimes she at least looks at us like we are familiar.
I hope you get to take some time for yourself to regroup. emoticon

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GRANDMAKARENG's Photo GRANDMAKARENG SparkPoints: (93,395)
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9/25/16 10:30 P

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I wish I had an answer to your situation. Would it be possible for your mom to be hospitalized for med adjustments? I know at the nursing home I am associated with, residents periodically go in for a few days & come back better. You need a break. Can you talk to her doctor or your doctor about this?

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PEPPERMINT125's Photo PEPPERMINT125 Posts: 2,499
9/25/16 7:49 P

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P.S. You may have tried this, but calming music helped with my dad when he got agitated.

Patty
EST Grand Rapids Michigan (yes same time zone as Maine)

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. Lewis

It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise.
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PEPPERMINT125's Photo PEPPERMINT125 Posts: 2,499
9/25/16 7:47 P

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I feel for you. My dad has passed now, but he was like this too. Fortunately, my siblings and I all took turns although my brother had him staying at his place so had largest burden. There was a point though where my mom was overwhelmed and dad would "escape" and finally had to go to an assisted living.
I think you definitely need a break. Try to talk to your brothers again and see if they are willing to provide any help, even financial. Then you could get an in-home helper, or look into adult day care to give yourself a break. It's a 24 hour job and never ending. You really need to take care of the caregiver (yourself). There are sometimes affordable community options for adult day care.
My siblings and I took a community course that was very helpful and also introduced us to community resources and support groups.
My prayers are with you as you try to lovingly deal with taking care of your mom.

Patty
EST Grand Rapids Michigan (yes same time zone as Maine)

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. Lewis

It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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AGRAY7903's Photo AGRAY7903 Posts: 353
9/25/16 3:44 P

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I have had it with my mom today. Her calm-me-down Med is not calming her down. She is yelling for my brothers who don't bother calling or visiting her. And she has no clue who I am. She tried to hit me when I was helping her go to the bathroom. And then got mad at me because I stopped helping her. Days like this I want to be just like my brothers and walk away from it.

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