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DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,263
3/18/19 8:43 P

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To be honest, I hadnít ever considered either option. Itís one of those things that never want to think about. The ER tech asked me while I was holding him....probably not the best etiquette?. I remember asking in mid cry what do most people do? Thatís nice you can visit him anytime tho. I donít think I could have buried him in my backyard. Iíd of made my DB do that, Iíd fall apart etc. The urn is a nice wooden box. First time for me to ever see one besides movies. They included a condolence letter with it. Thatís more than his Dr did,. They actually sent us another bill!

Edited by: DAKOTANMISTY at: 3/18/2019 (20:45)
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Mary



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56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE Posts: 15,425
3/18/19 2:12 P

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So glad you're starting to feel better. Grief is a process, with many stages. For me, it has been a long drawn out process at times. I also felt guilty about not being present when my Butters was euthanized. My husband bravely stepped up when I knew I couldn't handle that last moment. It was an emotionally painful time for all of us. The urn sounds lovely! Our Butters is buried in our backyard. emoticon Take care.

Marilyn
Boise, ID
Mountain Time Zone

Everything you've ever wanted is one step out of your comfort zone.

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

Max Lifetime Weight: 215
SP Start Weight: 199
Maintaining since: April 2016
Initial Goal Weight: 178
Current Goal Weight: 170

Purpose is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's needs.
Frederick Bue


 current weight: 176.0 
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DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,263
3/17/19 1:29 P

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Thank you Marilyn. I didnít realize the emojis from my last post wouldnít show up. I am doing better. My appetite has returned. I canít sleep without taking melatonin. Still have sudden onset breakdowns. This pain and guilt has lessened but hasnít wavered. I picked up his urn from the ER vet. Itís very nice, with his name and paw print. Iíve placed it on the mantel.

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Mary



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56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE Posts: 15,425
3/15/19 11:00 A

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Mary, so sorry. emoticon I wish I could say something to comfort you. Sounds to me like he had a wonderful, long life with you. Unfortunately, suffering is often a part of life, but we can learn & grow from the pain. It is hard to know for sure what an animal or person is really feeling in the moment. I wish you peace & healing. emoticon

Marilyn
Boise, ID
Mountain Time Zone

Everything you've ever wanted is one step out of your comfort zone.

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

Max Lifetime Weight: 215
SP Start Weight: 199
Maintaining since: April 2016
Initial Goal Weight: 178
Current Goal Weight: 170

Purpose is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's needs.
Frederick Bue


 current weight: 176.0 
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DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,263
3/12/19 10:41 P

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I donít think I will ever get past this pain and guilt. I keep seeing his little body with the oxygen laying on the operating table 😭. I know he left me in pain and I couldnít stop it, if I had gotten to the ER dr sooner......these thoughts torment me, I know I still would have made the same decision; to let him go; but I could have eased his suffering. I keep hearing the vet tech tell the dr I donít think heís going to need it when she was preparing the needle. ☹️ I canít sleep, I canít eat 😭 and hard to focus on work or anything at all.



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Mary



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56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE Posts: 15,425
3/9/19 6:35 P

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So sorry for the loss of your beloved Dakota! What a wonderful life you gave him! emoticon

Marilyn
Boise, ID
Mountain Time Zone

Everything you've ever wanted is one step out of your comfort zone.

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

Max Lifetime Weight: 215
SP Start Weight: 199
Maintaining since: April 2016
Initial Goal Weight: 178
Current Goal Weight: 170

Purpose is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's needs.
Frederick Bue


 current weight: 176.0 
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SUNNYCALIGIRL's Photo SUNNYCALIGIRL Posts: 15,820
3/9/19 5:57 P

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emoticon My Smokey died in pain also. I couldn't get transportation to the vet's office for two days AND when I got there the veterinarian was too busy in surgery to take care of her until 3-4 hours later. And my driver was insensitive and left me by myself the whole time. It's horrible to be helpless when your pet is suffering. Please don't blame yourself. You gave Dakota a good life that far outnumbers those last days of suffering. Try to focus on those times

I cried myself to sleep for several days--I woke up in the night and cried myself to sleep again. It was hard to sleep. But I know the love between us was real and stronger than the pain. I don't want to sound crazy, but I felt my cat jump up on the bed next to me while I was wide awake. And when I was dreaming I saw her again. And she wanted me to be at peace and to remember the good life we shared. I can't explain it but she told me so.

Edited by: SUNNYCALIGIRL at: 3/9/2019 (20:08)
Allison
Destitutus ventis, remos adhibe.--Latin Proverb
"If the wind will not serve, take to the oars."


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DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,263
3/9/19 3:32 P

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Thank you Carmelsmom, itís hard to have happy thoughts when I have so much guilt and grief.

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Mary



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CARAMELSMOM's Photo CARAMELSMOM SparkPoints: (187,060)
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3/9/19 11:40 A

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So sorry to hear about Dakota. It's so hard to lose one. Think of Dakota happy and healthy waiting for you on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. emoticon

Margo

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DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,263
3/8/19 9:27 P

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Sorry to hear about Smokey. My baby passed away this morning, we had 20 wonderful years together. I tried to give him the last stages with comfort. I had to rush him to the ER Dr because he was struggling to breathe. Apparently, his regular Dr's were wrong, He was hypertensive and I lost him to a stroke. I know he left this Earth in pain. :(

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Mary



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SUNNYCALIGIRL's Photo SUNNYCALIGIRL Posts: 15,820
3/8/19 4:35 P

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Smokey was 19 when she passed away, it was because of kidney failure. Nothing could be done so my heart goes out to you. At least your kitty has a care option and you are really giving the last stages care your cat deserves. You love your pet and your pet knows it. They know.

Allison
Destitutus ventis, remos adhibe.--Latin Proverb
"If the wind will not serve, take to the oars."


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DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,263
3/7/19 10:36 P

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Thanks for the support. Iím trying to be positive but Iím so depressed. I feel so worthless because I canít help him. I hate watching him run into stuff. We went to dr today for sub q treatment. Dr said help hydrate him. She listened to his heart rate, took his blood pressure and looked into his eyes.checked his colon. The full work over (this was different dr than the one earlier this week from same office) Apparently his pupils react to light change but canít see. She put her hand up and moved it towards him and no reaction. She said heís not hypertensive and doesnít have any medical treatment to help except KD prescription food and the sub q treatment.

Edited by: DAKOTANMISTY at: 3/7/2019 (22:41)
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Mary



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56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE Posts: 15,425
3/6/19 9:24 P

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HUGS! 20 years old.... that is amazing! Sorry about the kidney disease diagnosis..

Marilyn
Boise, ID
Mountain Time Zone

Everything you've ever wanted is one step out of your comfort zone.

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

Max Lifetime Weight: 215
SP Start Weight: 199
Maintaining since: April 2016
Initial Goal Weight: 178
Current Goal Weight: 170

Purpose is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's needs.
Frederick Bue


 current weight: 176.0 
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DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,263
3/6/19 9:19 P

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Thank you sunnycaligirl. The vets office called- blood work came back with kidney disease. My poor baby, this is heartbreaking news and I donít know how long we have left together. The vet wants to change his food to prescription level for KD

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Mary



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DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,263
3/6/19 9:14 P

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Thank you Rose. Heís been my baby for 20 years.

~~~~~~
Mary



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SUNNYCALIGIRL's Photo SUNNYCALIGIRL Posts: 15,820
3/6/19 4:05 P

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emoticon

Allison
Destitutus ventis, remos adhibe.--Latin Proverb
"If the wind will not serve, take to the oars."


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56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE Posts: 15,425
3/6/19 2:13 P

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So sorry! What a shock! I can understand you wanting to carry him everywhere. Poor baby...hope the adjustment for both of you goes easier than expected. Take care. emoticon

Marilyn
Boise, ID
Mountain Time Zone

Everything you've ever wanted is one step out of your comfort zone.

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

Max Lifetime Weight: 215
SP Start Weight: 199
Maintaining since: April 2016
Initial Goal Weight: 178
Current Goal Weight: 170

Purpose is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's needs.
Frederick Bue


 current weight: 176.0 
176
174.5
173
171.5
170
DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,263
3/6/19 12:35 P

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Yesterday morning breakfast time- Dakota was walking down the hall to come into kitchen for breakfast and bumped his head into the wall a few times and turned into living room (instead of the kitchen) and bumped into furniture. I picked him up and brought him to food bowl.

I took him to the vet. His regular Dr wasnít in, so we saw one of the partners. She examined him and did blood screen. She found a heart arrhythmia and said heís blind! Probably due to high blood pressure. I wasnít surprised that heís lost a little weight, heís gotten very thin and lost muscle mass in his old age.

Donít have the blood test results yet. Hoping nothing worse and maybe medication for his heart etc. does anyone have experience with kitties losing vision? Itís hard to watch him try to find stuff. I just want to pick him up and carry him everywhere.

~~~~~~
Mary



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